Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
PHIL
The bedroom is a dim cocoon when I wake, but I can tell from the way light is sneaking around the sides of the blinds that it’s morning. Stretching, I roll over and grab my phone from the nightstand to check the time. Nine thirty.
Considering I went to sleep a little before eleven last night, that’s late. Not surprising, though. I’m usually tired and physically worn out after a shutdown, and I think anyone who’s just discovered they’re being stalked would need the healing escape sleep brings.
My stomach jitters at the reminder, but I take some deep breaths and try to focus on the facts only.
Yeah, someone is stalking me, and yeah, being sent an effigy of myself with a knife in it is fucking scary, but I’m not alone.
I’ve got Griff, my friends, the LAPD, and Vivi on my side.
Whatever this person’s problem with me is, they’re not going to get to me.
They’re not.
I sit up, letting the covers fall to my lap.
Griff’s not in bed, but I wouldn’t expect him to be at this time of morning.
Not while I was sleeping, anyway. Last weekend we spent a fun Sunday morning in bed, but we were both very awake then.
I smile at the memory, lingering anxiety swamped by giddy happiness.
I have Griff in my life now, and even though it hasn’t been long, he makes everything better. Even dealing with a stalker.
My stomach grumbles with hunger, and I toss the covers back. Bathroom, then breakfast.
My plan is derailed when I come out of the bathroom, pass the living room, and see Griff on the couch with his laptop. Some things are more important than breakfast.
He looks up as I walk into the room, his gaze searching my face. Whatever he sees makes him smile. “Good morning.”
I clear the last remnants of sleep from my throat. “Hi. I slept hard.”
“You needed it. Do you want something to eat?”
“In a minute.” I sit beside him, then nudge his laptop. “Move this.”
Chuckling, he obliges. “Yes, Your Highness.”
I stretch out on the couch and put my head in his lap. “Much better.”
His hand comes to rest on the top of my head, fingers sifting through my hair. “Yeah. Can’t argue with that.” Leaning down, he kisses me lightly. “I love you.”
The shock of the words ripples through me, followed by joy so big, it feels like it might burst through my skin. I surge upwards, wrapping my arms tight around his neck and scrambling to straddle him as I kiss him until it seems like we might become one person instead of two.
It’s still not enough.
Eventually, though, I need to breathe, and I pull back and rest my forehead on his shoulder. “I love you too,” I mumble, then, because he deserves a loud, strong declaration, I lift my head and look him in the eye. “I love you. So much.”
My happiness is reflected back at me in his face, and we grin foolishly at each other… then kiss some more.
When my calf starts to cramp, I break the kiss and slide off his lap so I can sit properly, snuggling up against his side as I stretch my legs out in front of me.
I’m wearing my comfiest faded old pajama bottoms and an equally soft old tee, thanks to Calla knowing exactly what I’d need, and I consider staying in them all day.
“What are you thinking about?” Griff asks, taking my hand and weaving our fingers together.
He’s so perfectly low-key romantic like that—little gestures that mean big things.
“You’re not… I mean, I know it’s soon for us to say that we love each other, but…
” He trails off and blows out a breath. Aw. Is he nervous?
“Soon or not, that’s how I feel,” I assure him. “I have a lot of experience with feelings that aren’t logical. They exist anyway, and I’m just glad loving you is a feeling that makes me happy.”
His smile lights up the room, and he lifts our hands to his mouth and kisses my fingers. “Me too.”
That’s a relief. “I was thinking about how I’m going to stay in my pajamas today. Unless you can think of a reason why I shouldn’t.”
“Nope. You’re all good. Calla texted me this morning, and she seemed to be hinting for an invite to come over, but I can put her off if you want.”
I wince. “Sorry about that. She shouldn’t hav—”
He laughs. “No, I don’t care about that. She’s your best friend, Phil. If you want her here, she’s welcome. But if you want to stay in your PJs and have a quiet day, I can make that happen.”
Aww. “That’s sweet, but do not tell Calla she’s basically got an open invite to come over.
I’ll text her in a bit, though. I want it to be just us for today.
” I love my bestie, but I know myself well enough to know what I need most right now is a really low-key day.
Plus, Griff and I just said we love each other.
That’s not something Calla needs to be a part of.
“Just us sounds good.” He kisses the side of my head, but I’m distracted by the pitter of little paws. Vivi runs into the room, sees us snuggling, and races to join us, jumping up into our shared lap space. “Just us and Vivi,” Griff amends, giving her an ear rub.
“Always Vivi,” I agree. “She was a hero yesterday.” Her company made it a lot easier for me to stay grounded.
Griff makes a humming sound, and we sit there for a little while. My gaze falls on his laptop on the cushion on his other side.
“What were you doing?” I gesture toward it. “Please don’t say work, or I’ll feel bad for interrupting.”
“Nah. I was checking the cancellation policy for my hotel in Vegas. I remembered right, though, so it’s all good.”
I frown and lift my head so I can see his face. “The cancellation policy? Why? Are you going to stay with Penny’s boyfriend’s family? I thought you didn’t want to.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy. “Sweetheart, I’m not going. While I’m sure Spears is good at his job, I doubt he’ll find this person in the next four days. Not with all the chaos this time of year brings. I can’t leave you here alone while all this is going on, so I’m staying here with you.”
My heart plummets. “But… your family. Penny wants you to meet whatshisname, and Carter will be heartbroken if he can’t see Vivi.”
He shrugs. “So I’ll take some time and go see them after this is over.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Griff, no. I can’t be the reason you cancel your trip and miss out on seeing your family for the holidays.”
“You’re not—”
“No, Griff,” I say for the third time. “I’m putting my foot down. You’re going to Vegas on Thursday. I’ll stay with Butch and Xera.” I push down the roiling anxiety that kicks up at the thought of being apart from Griff for days. That’s silly. We don’t have to be glued together.
My stubborn boyfriend pulls a face. “What—”
I cut him off without remorse. “Don’t even think of arguing with me. I insist.”
He waits a beat, then says, “Can I say something now, or are you not done insisting?”
It’s hard, with the way I’m pressed up against him, but I still manage to jab him with my elbow. “Less sass, please. Of course you can say something… as long as it’s not about how you’re planning to cancel your trip.”
“What if it’s about you coming with me?”
The breath stalls in my chest. “What?”
“Come with me to Vegas,” he asks. “Meet my family and spend the holidays with us.”
Heat rises through my whole body, but it’s the good kind. He wants me to meet his family. “Are you sure? You haven’t even met… Fuck, what’s Penny’s boyfriend’s name again?”
He snorts. “It’s—” He stops short, and chagrin sweeps over his face.
“Dammit. Give me a second, it’ll come back.
Whatever it is, I’m sure he won’t mind. I was planning to skip Christmas dinner and meet up with Penny and Carter and him later in the day anyway.
Or if you’d rather go, I’m sure they won’t mind.
Pen said they basically have an open house. ”
My anxiety hates the idea of gatecrashing someone else’s Christmas, and that’s not even taking into account the whole part about them being strangers.
But what it hates even more is the thought of being separated from Griff for four whole days.
Of having to stay at Butch and Xera’s place, where I’ve never slept before and have no comfort routines.
It hates the idea that Griff might be far away if this stalker decides to send something again… or worse.
So I nod. “Okay. I’ll come to Vegas with you.”
His smile is so full of relief, I instantly feel guilty for not agreeing immediately. “Thank you. I’ll call Penny now and let her know about the change of plans. She’s been texting me every day, asking about you, so she’ll be thrilled.”
I’m not sure she’ll be all that thrilled, but given how nice she was on the phone, I don’t think she’ll object. Especially not when Griff explains the situation.
I kiss his cheek, nudge Vivi fully onto his lap, and stand. “I’m going to get something to eat. Are you hungry? Want some pancakes?”
“Pancakes sound good. Give me two minutes, and I’ll come help.”
I try not to eavesdrop as I get out the things I’ll need to make pancakes, but the house isn’t that big, the kitchen is right next door to the living room, and Griff’s a big man with a big voice, even when he modulates it.
Lucky for me and my anxiety, from his side of the conversation, it sounds like Penny is genuinely happy to have me come along. I think she might even be teasing him, because at one point he says, “Smitten is a ridiculous word, but yes.”
Smitten is a ridiculous word, but I still love the idea that he’s smitten with me. I definitely am with him.
To distract myself, I go and find my phone and jump into the group chat.
Morning. Thanks for everything yesterday.
The notification that people are typing pops up immediately, so I bring the phone back to the kitchen with me.
Butch:
No thanks needed. Better today?
Jordan:
Morning! Do you need anything?
Better today. Still not 100%. I’m all set for now – Griff’s taking good care of me. We’re going to have a quiet one today, since tomorrow is going to be hectic.
Calla:
Good idea. If you need to stay home tomorrow, do it.
…you know you’re not my boss, right? ;-)
That gets a whole lot of laugh reactions, which loosens some of my stress.
One part of anxiety that nobody tells you about is how knowing that people love and support you can make you more anxious.
I know my friends care about me and worry, and knowing I’ve made them worry makes me more anxious.
It sometimes makes me not want to tell them when things aren’t great.
I usually can’t hide it that well, what with the whole nonverbal thing, but when I can…
I do. Because it’s easier to soldier on by myself than it is to have them worrying about me and checking in.
It's actually a lot better now, since I pushed through my anxiety a few years ago and told them that continually being asked how I’m feeling and needing to communicate a reply makes me more anxious.
Now they wait a reasonable amount of time for me to check in first after a meltdown, make sure to use the group chat so I only have to answer once, and let me control what I want to tell them instead of asking specific questions about how I’m feeling.
Xera:
Wait, Calla’s not the boss of all of us? I thought that was the group rule!
A chuckle escapes me, and then I take a breath and make my announcement.
Change of plans for Christmas Day. Griff is going to Vegas to spend it with his family, so I’m going with. He was going to cancel and I couldn’t let him.
For long seconds, the chat is dead quiet. No reactions. Nobody typing.
Then…
Harold:
Griff and Phil, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Blaise:
Meeting the family already?? For the holidays??? I call dibs on designing your wedding suit.
Polly:
Phil’s in luuuuuuurve!
Heat flushes my cheeks, but it’s the best kind. I love my friends.