Chapter 22
The bitter January wind cut through my jacket as I paced back and forth along the perimeter of Covenant House's grounds, phone pressed to my ear, each step crunching in the frost-covered grass.
I'd deliberately moved as far from the house as possible while still maintaining a clear view of the living room windows.
From here, I could see Luce and Cade curled up on the couch, a tableau of normalcy that felt both precious and precarious.
"Are you even listening to me, Ryder?" My father's voice sliced through my thoughts, sharp and demanding. "Or are you too busy playing nursemaid to that damaged girl of yours?" I clenched my jaw so hard my teeth ached.
"I'm listening."
"Then perhaps you'd care to explain why I received an automatic message from Administration informing me that you've missed several classes in the first two weeks of this term?
Or why three of your professors have contacted me directly about your absence?
" His voice dripped with that familiar blend of disappointment and contempt that had been the soundtrack to my childhood.
"I've been busy," I said, keeping my voice level despite the rage bubbling beneath the surface. "There were extenuating circumstances."
"Extenuating circumstances," he repeated, mockery evident in every syllable. "Is that what we're calling your obsession with the Turner girl now? Extenuating circumstances?"
I stopped pacing, my gaze fixed on the window, where I could see Cade's profile; her face was turned toward Luce as they talked.
It had been two weeks since we'd brought her home from that hellhole.
Two weeks filled with nightmares and panic attacks and moments of progress so small they'd be imperceptible to anyone who wasn't watching as closely as I was.
In that time, I have barely left her side except for moments like this, when someone else could be with her.
"She was kidnapped, raped, and tortured for six weeks," I said, my voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "Or did that little detail slip your mind?"
"Don't take that tone with me, boy." The threat in my father's voice was unmistakable.
"I'm well aware of what happened to Miss Turner. The entire Trivium is aware. You’d think this girl was the second coming with the way those bloody High Lords were acting about her.
But your responsibilities as a Regent don't simply disappear because your Consort had a difficult time.
" A difficult time. As if Cade had suffered through a bad flu or a difficult exam period.
As if she hadn't been starved and beaten and violated in ways that still had her waking up screaming most nights.
"Fuck your responsibilities," I breathed, the words escaping before I could stop them.
The silence on the other end of the line was deafening. When my father spoke again, his voice had dropped to that quiet, controlled tone that had always preceded the worst punishments of my childhood.
"You seem to have forgotten who you're speaking to, Ryder.
Perhaps you need a reminder of the consequences of disrespect.
" My stomach clenched at the implied threat.
"Your mother has been asking about you. I visited her at Lexington yesterday.
She was quite upset when I told her you hadn't been to see her in months.
" Cold sweat broke out across my back despite the winter air.
"Leave her out of this."
"She's still your mother, Ryder. And she's still my wife.
What kind of husband would I be if I didn't keep her informed about our son's erratic behaviour?
The doctors at Lexington are always so interested in family patterns of instability.
Especially after the incident at the end of last year.
" The threat wasn't even thinly veiled. If I didn't fall in line, he'd use my mother as leverage, would feed the doctors at Lexington stories about my "instability" that would influence her treatment, possibly even her chances of ever being released.
Not to mention using my own mental instabilities to get me put back in Lexington alongside my mother.
“And let’s not forget your dear sister.” He practically spit out the final word, and my eyes flew to Luce through the window.
“If you are so willing to, how was it you so eloquently put it ‘fuck your responsibilities’, well then maybe I should start putting in place my backup plan.” The fucking bastard.
He knew if using my mother wasn’t enough, then Luce was my biggest weak spot as far as he was concerned.
"What do you want?" I asked, defeat creeping into my voice.
"That's better," my father said, satisfaction evident in his tone.
"Friday is our monthly family dinner. You have missed more than enough, and I fully expect you not to miss any more.” I glanced back at the window, at Cade's small form bundled under blankets.
She hadn't left Covenant House since we'd brought her back.
The thought of leaving her, even for one evening, made my chest tighten with anxiety.
“Ryder? I asked if that was understood. Unless I need to fill your seat with someone else, a possible suitor for Lucida, maybe?”
"Yes," I bit out. "I'll be there."
"Excellent. And Ryder? Do try to pull yourself together before then. Your obsession with this girl is becoming concerning. People are beginning to talk."
"Is that all?" I asked, struggling to keep my tone neutral.
"For now." The threat of future demands hung in the air between us. "I'll expect you at seven. Don't be late."
The line went dead, and I stood there for a moment, phone clutched in my hand, rage and helplessness warring within me.
I wanted to throw the phone, to scream, to break something, preferably my father's face.
Instead, I took a deep breath, then another, forcing the fury down deep where it couldn't touch Cade.
She'd seen enough anger, enough violence.
I wouldn't add to it. With one last glance at the window to confirm she was still there, still safe with Luce, I headed back toward the house, schooling my features into something resembling calm.
The warmth of Covenant House enveloped me as I stepped inside, a stark contrast to the bitter cold and even more bitter conversation I'd just endured.
I shrugged off my jacket, hanging it by the door before making my way toward the living room, where soft voices and the occasional gentle laugh indicated Luce was still keeping Cade company.
I paused in the doorway, taking in the scene.
Cade was curled up on the couch, knees drawn to her chest, swallowed by one of my oversized sweaters.
A thick blanket was draped around her shoulders like a protective cloak.
Her hair, which was more dark roots than the blond left over from the faded out purple, was pulled back in a loose ponytail.
She looked so small, so fragile, yet there was a spark in her eyes today that had been absent yesterday, a tiny ember of the fire that had once burned so brightly.
Luce sat beside her, animated as she recounted some story about a disastrous date one of the Courts girls had been on. "-and then he had the audacity to ask if she'd split the bill after he'd spent the entire meal talking about his vast estate!" A small smile tugged at the corner of Cade's mouth.
"What did she do?"
"Ordered the most expensive dessert on the menu, ate one bite, and then 'accidentally' spilled her wine all over his designer shoes." Luce grinned, miming the action with exaggerated movements that drew a soft, raspy laugh from Cade.
The sound hit me like a physical blow. When was the last time I'd heard her laugh? Before the kidnapping, certainly. Before the punishment ritual, maybe. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
"Hey," I said softly, stepping into the room. "Everything okay in here?" Both girls looked up, Cade's smile fading slightly but not disappearing entirely. Progress, I reminded myself. Small steps.
"We're good," Luce answered, her eyes searching my face.
She knew me too well and could probably see the tension I was trying so hard to hide.
"Just catching up on all the Courts House drama Cade's been missing.
" I knew that even though Luce wasn’t a part of the Courts, her Melody and Silvia had become close since Cade went missing, and she had spent a lot of time there.
Something that had been by my design. I was worried that whoever had taken Cade would go after Luce next.
I needed to know she was safe while I searched for Cade.
I moved to sit in the armchair across from them, careful to give Cade space. We'd all learned quickly that crowding her could trigger panic attacks, could send her mind spiralling back to that cell.
"Sounds riveting," I said, forcing lightness into my tone. "Please, don't let me interrupt." Cade's eyes lingered on my face, her expression thoughtful.
"Was that your father on the phone?" she asked quietly. I blinked, surprised by her perception.
"Yeah, it was. Just the usual Purcell family bullshit.
" I waved a dismissive hand, trying to downplay it.
"Nothing important." She nodded, but I could tell she didn't quite believe me.
Before she could press further, the sound of footsteps on the stairs drew our attention.
Cole appeared in the doorway, his eyes briefly meeting mine before skittering away to fix on some point just over Cade's head.
"Hey," he said, his voice oddly formal. "I didn't realise you were all down here."
"Just chatting," Luce said, her tone deliberately light, though I could see the concern in her eyes as she glanced between Cole and Cade. "You want to join us?" Cole shifted his weight, discomfort evident in every line of his body.