20. Wyatt
20
WYATT
When I wake up, I feel Matthias before I see him. His body is so strong beneath mine, both soft and hard. I grunt as I let my hand slide up his chest, my palm brushing over the soft hair there before moving up to his neck.
His throat bobs beneath me, and I can’t help but clutch him a little tighter.
“You trying to kill me in my sleep?” Matthias rasps.
I stretch, my hand moving to the side of his face as I lean up. My mouth is just above his, my body still curled against him. Despite having been asleep the last eight hours, he looks impeccable as always. Just a little groggy, a little sleep-dazed.
It suits him.
“Maybe I’ll kill you by sticking my cock down your throat.”
His breath hitches, and I can’t help but grin.
“You want that. Don’t you? You wake up horny every day?”
I let my hand slide down and cup his cock. And yeah, it’s hard. I stroke it as he grunts, his hands moving to touch me, to pull me into him.
“Wy. Oh god,” he moans.
“Fuck. You do want it, don’t you? A dick in your mouth to wake you up?”
He gasps as I twist my wrist and then shift up further until I’m crawling up his chest, my cock out, directed right at him. His mouth opens, his tongue wetting his lips as I drag the tip across his cheek. Pre-cum smears across his skin, and I inhale at how good he wears me.
Fuck, how did I never know it could be this hot? Why did I never think about doing this with another guy?
No, not another guy. Why didn’t I think about doing this with him all those years ago? Why was he never a consideration?
Maybe it’s good that he wasn’t. What followed would’ve hurt even more.
You know, I’m not sure that’s true. I can’t imagine anything being more painful than the years of silence I endured.
I push that thought away, focusing on the here and now. On Matthias.
On what he’s about to do to me.
“Look at you,” I murmur as his tongue flicks out and swipes at my cockhead, desperate for it. I groan at the sensation, my brain still foggy from sleep as I try to process all of this. Is this a dream? Was yesterday?
What the fuck is happening?
And yet, despite the questions, I don’t stop.
Because Matthias is leaning up, sucking me down a little more, and I realize that none of this is something I’ve conjured up in my mind. No, this is fucking real. I can feel it, I’m experiencing it. Right now.
My hands move down to his head, cradling it as I shift forward on my knees, letting my dick slide fully into his mouth. He groans around my hard length as I tunnel farther and farther back, wondering when I should stop before realizing I don’t have to. He takes me all the way down his throat. Like a fucking king.
My mind spins, my balls tingling as he swallows around me. Curse words slip from my mouth as I stare down at him. His gaze meets mine. It’s hazy, his pupils blown out as I just hold myself there.
“Look at you?—”
I pull out slowly, listening to the slick sound of my exit, hearing the sharp inhale of his lungs before pushing all the way back in. He gags around me, then swallows the entirety of my cock once more. My eyelids flutter at the sensation slipping up my thighs and hugging my groin.
Oh god, I’m not going to last. I’m not going to fucking last.
The sight of him, drool spilling from the sides of his mouth, his cheeks flushed. The way he’s groaning as he takes me. How wide his mouth is stretched.
My hand moves down to his throat, feeling myself settled there.
God, who knew Matthias was such a cock slut? Who knew I wanted this?
Who knew I’d crave it?
My fingers tighten in his hair as I continue to fuck into his mouth, continue to watch him take me over and over. The sight of him, the feeling, the very scent of everything is too much. A minute later, I feel my cock twitch as I spill into him, his throat working to swallow it all. But he can’t contain it. It slips from his mouth and onto his cheeks, some dripping onto the pillow. My entire body is taut as I feel my release flow through me, my mouth forming unintelligible words as I try to breathe. Maybe one intelligible one.
“ Matt. ”
And then it’s over. Oh fuck, it’s over and it was too good. My body slumps forward, trying to catch my breath as Matthias lies there beneath me, bliss on his face, his tongue snaking out to lick at the corners of his mouth.
“Fuck,” I murmur, and his eyes slam into mine.
“That was a nice way to wake up,” he rasps, and I let out a small huff.
“Yeah, I guess it was. Now what about you?”
He sighs as I turn around to see his cock growing limp, a puddle of cum sitting in the small thatch of pubic hair.
He came from me fucking his throat.
Hell.
“You’re a surprise,” I murmur, and he stretches languidly.
“So are you. I didn’t expect that, or the fact that you said my name when you came.”
I roll my eyes as my cheeks heat. “I did not.”
“You did. You moaned it like a prayer.” I shove at him, and his smile widens. “Are you done exploring my throat?”
“Possibly. I may need to explore it further later.”
He coughs and his cheeks flush. “Perhaps we should put that on hold while we explore the actual island.”
“Yeah. If you say so.”
Matthias’s gaze meets mine and then he leans up and kisses my cheek, the sensation of that one gesture pushing into my chest and piercing my heart.
He shouldn’t have done that. But he did, and I fucking liked it.
My fingers touch where he pressed his lips as he watches me cautiously.
“Is that too much?”
My eyes meet his. “No. I guess you can do it again if you’d like.”
He blushes and then shoves at me playfully. “Maybe. If you’re nice to me today.”
I laugh as he hops out of bed, my eyes moving to his ass as he walks toward the bathroom to get ready for the day.
I may stare a little too long, and yeah, I may also follow him until we’re under the stream of water as we both wash.
I may let him brush his hands along my pecs and down to my ass. And I might have done the same.
He needed help rinsing off.
When we finally make our way outside, the sun is shining, the wind whipping around us. Salty humidity sits in the air as we make our way to the car.
“You know how to drive around the island?” I ask.
Matthias scoffs. “I’m a pro. Been doing this for years. Just you watch.”
* * *
“I can’t believe you ran into a banana tree,” I say, trying to bite back a laugh at how disgruntled Matthias is. We were driving through town, trying to find parking—talking, maybe even flirting a bit—and then crash .
Right into a long, brown trunk.
“I can. You were distracting me,” he grumbles, peering over at me, looking slightly embarrassed. “I didn’t see it.”
“It’s huge! And green!” I say and then find myself holding my stomach as I wheeze. “You’re a terrible driver.”
“I am not,” he huffs. “I’m a great driver. Probably the best there is on this island.”
That makes me laugh harder. “You’re the fucking worst. You know it. I know it. The tree sure as fuck does.”
He grumbles as a man appears, his cheeks flushed, shouting something at us. I have no idea what he’s saying, it’s another language entirely, but it must be his banana tree that Matthias hit.
“I’m sorry,” Matthias says, looking flustered for a moment before pulling out his wallet and shoving some bills toward the man.
That only earns him a banana to the head.
Matthias gasps as it falls to his feet right before another is lobbed at us, leaving Matthias scrambling toward me.
“Why is he throwing fruit at me?” he shouts. “What did I do?”
“You hurt his tree!” I can’t stop laughing, tears streaming down my cheeks as a piece of fruit flies and hits me in the stomach. I grunt at the impact and turn around, trying to run without falling over. But fuck, it’s hard when I’m laughing this hard. I’m going to pee my pants.
Good fuck.
I can’t believe Matthias went and pissed off someone so badly that we’re being chased through town.
Curse words slip from Matthias’s mouth as he slips slightly on the loose gravel. It’s probably those damn boat shoes he’s wearing. They have no traction. Just like he saved me on that beach, I grab on to his hand as we turn a corner and rush into a storefront. We don’t stop moving until we’re on the other end of the shop and hidden in a small dressing room.
“We just left the car there with the door open,” Matthias whispers, his eyes wide, his hair askew. I reach up and brush my fingers through it.
“Well, we had no choice. We almost got murdered by bananas,” I reply, catching my breath and swiping at my eyes. “We’ll go back for it.”
“Fuck. I can’t believe that happened,” he murmurs, and I can’t help but bite back another laugh.
“I can. You always were a shit driver.”
“Well, it wasn’t my fault. I had someone cart me around growing up.”
“You did. Which is why you suck. I should have been behind that wheel. And then we wouldn’t have ended up knee-deep in banana-gate.”
“And if you’d kept your hands to yourself, I wouldn’t have gotten distracted.”
I grin and step toward him, my hand reaching between his legs and cupping him gently. He lets out a muffled groan.
“Seems you have a banana in your pants as well.”
His head shakes as he steps away from me. “Fuck off, Wy. God, you are just?—”
A snort leaves me. “Sorry. I had to. It was too easy.”
I reach out again, but he just smacks my hand away. “No. The moment is ruined. This banana wants nothing to do with you.”
I can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous he sounds when he says that word as he peeks out of the dressing room and lets out a long exhale. “The man didn’t follow us in here. We can go now.”
“Back to the car?”
“Maybe after a drink. Fuck, I can’t believe our first day out and we were assaulted. You’d think I’d be used to this shit by now. I just didn’t expect it here.”
“It has been quite the morning,” I say. “And we are on our honeymoon.”
His eyes meet mine as he runs a hand through his hair. “We are.”
“Come on. Let’s go get a drink, you look like you need it. I’ll find some way to get the car towed back to the villa so we can just walk around and explore.”
“All right. We can do that.”
I follow him out of the shop and we move through a small alleyway, emerging onto another busy street. We walk for a moment, side by side until we finally find a small outdoor bar. We sit down at an empty table, menus placed before us before we ask for them. As Matthias looks for something to drink, I find a tow company and call for someone to deliver the car to the villa.
After some negotiating, and paying with my credit card over the phone, the man on the other end of the line assures me that the car will be there by the evening. We order our drinks and an appetizer and drink and eat languidly as we let ourselves unwind. Our legs touch under the table, and our hands brush a few times as well. But nothing more than that.
And when we’re done, we stroll around the town, walking into stores to look around, and buying a few trinkets and shirts for Jackson before heading down to the beach. We nestle into the sand and watch the sunset, before wandering to a nearby restaurant and ordering dinner. All the while, I’m caught by how easy this is. How the conversation ebbs and flows like it once used to. How right it feels to brush his shoulder or squeeze his waist. How his smile punches me in the solar plexus every time.
It’s exactly as it used to be, only better. Better because now I know how it feels to touch him. To feel him sink into my kiss. To flirt with him until he flushes red.
It’s late by the time we call a cab home, our feet ache and we’re both ready for a shower.
Thankfully the slightly dented car is sitting in the driveway when we arrive.
“Thank you for arranging that,” Matthias says.
“I am your husband after all.”
“A good one too,” he says as we walk inside and set our bags on the kitchen table. It’s cooled down now that the sun has gone down. I shiver as I walk toward the bathroom.
“I’m going to shower. Wanna join me?” I ask, but Matthias says nothing as he follows.
I peer over my shoulder at him and see his gaze hitting the oversized tub. There’s even a step leading into it. It’s that big. It can fit two people easily.
“Oh, or we could have a bath, I guess.”
His eyes flash to mine and I don’t bother asking if he’d like to join me. I can read him like a book. Just like all those years ago. So I turn the tap on, plug the tub, and pour some bubble bath liquid under the stream of water. Bubbles explode across the top of the pooling water as I turn and meet Matthias’s stare.
“It will be ready in a few minutes. This thing is huge.”
He doesn’t make the first move, so I pull my shirt off and toss it aside, moving to the sink to grab my toothbrush. As I scrub my teeth, he moves up beside me and does the same, eyeing me as I bend over and spit out the frothy paste. When I rinse my mouth and turn back to the bathtub, I kick off my shorts and underwear before stepping inside.
I groan as I sink into the warm water, turning my gaze over my shoulder to Matthias, who is watching me intently.
“It’s not full yet, but you could join me.”
“Yeah. I—I’ll be right there,” he says, clearing his throat and disappearing from the bathroom. What the fuck? I have no clue what that was about, but by the time the water is nearly pouring from the rim of the tub, bubbles up to my chin, he’s still not back.
Where the fuck is he?
Is he running away again?
My jaw tightens as I envision it. Him packing up and leaving. Him on a plane without me. Leaving me. Stranding me. Alone. Afraid… I’m about to step out of the tub when he appears, a towel wrapped around his waist, his cheeks slightly pink.
“Where the fuck have you been?” I ask, my voice angrier than I expected it to be.
Matthias doesn’t answer, just moves toward me, dropping the towel and stepping into the warm water.
“You going to ignore me?”
“Leave it, Wy,” he murmurs as I purse my lips in frustration.
“Why? What are you hiding?”
He peers over at me and then picks up a handful of bubbles.
“Why do you want to know?”
“I just—I do. I thought you were running.”
“I wasn’t. I was…” he clears his throat and sighs. “I was making sure I was clean. For you.”
“Clean?” my voice breaks slightly. Oh. Ohhhh.
He huffs and then sinks back, glancing up at the ceiling. “That’s all I’m saying. I’m not going into detail.”
I stare at him, my cock perking up. “Does that mean you want me to fuck you?” I ask, and his nostrils flare at my question.
“No, but I don’t like being caught off guard with this kind of thing…”
My eyes bore into him as he looks everywhere but me.
I shift up on to my knees, bubbles trailing down my chest as I scoot toward him. His legs fall open and I slip between them.
My fingers touch his chin and I bring his gaze to mine.
“Look at me and tell me what you want.”
“Wy, don’t you know? I’ll take whatever you’ll give me. I just wanted to be ready…to not make it harder for you.”
My thumb trails across his bottom lip and I reach my other hand between us, grabbing on to his cock and stroking it.
“Being with you like this isn’t hard at all. Weird, right? Because it should be. Why isn’t it?” His breathing picks up as I continue to touch him. “I think I quite like torturing you. That must be it.”
He groans, tilting his head back slightly as I lean forward and suck on his Adam’s apple. I can hear his soft moaning, can feel it hit my lips as I lap at him. When I finally pull away, his chest is heaving.
“Turn over, knees on that step, ass up so I can reach it.”
His eyes widen, and I chuckle as I stand up, water sluicing down me.
“I’m not fucking you yet. But I am going to play with you a bit. Where’s the lube?”
“Top right drawer,” he replies as I step toward it. Of course he put his shit away all nice and neat. I’m still living out of my suitcase. Probably will be for weeks after we arrive home.
Unless Matthias unpacks for me like he did last time. I shouldn’t like the thought of that as much as I do.
I pull open the drawer and grab the bottle, bubbles littering the floor as I walk back to him. He’s positioned himself on his knees, his back arched. His ass is bobbing just above the water, like the perfect apple. I want to bend down and bite it, but I don’t. Instead, I just move in behind him, letting my fingers trail over his wet skin, feeling him tremble.
“Want to know a secret?”
“Mhm.”
“When you told me all those years ago you were a bottom…I did some research.”
“Wy,” he groans as I kneel between his spread legs and use my hands to pull his cheeks apart.
“Seems there’s a thing called a prostate massage. Very fascinating.”
“Oh god,” he moans as I uncap the lube and dribble an ample amount down his crack. It lingers around his pink, puckered hole and I slide my finger around his rim. I feel it quiver against my fingertip before working my way inside.
He gasps as I breach him, his forehead hitting the edge of the tub as he holds on. My finger pushes into him, moving in gently and slowly until I’m knuckle-deep. And then I just hold myself there, surprised that I like being inside of him. It’s erotic. Sexy. Something that will make me wake up hard and panting in the middle of the night.
My finger slides out of him, I add more lube and work it in again. This time, instead of fucking him with it, I twist my wrist, searching for that small nub that I’ve read about and when I crook my finger and he bucks up, I feel my cock jerk between my legs.
“Oh fuck!” Matthias moans. “Oh fuck. Fuuuuck ,” he moans as I press against it, rubbing it slightly. His legs are shaking, his knuckles white as he grasps the side of the tub.
“Is this how you knew you’d like bottoming?” I ask. “Did you stick your finger inside yourself and pretend it was a dick?”
“Oh god. Wy.” He’s panting now, and I’m barely doing anything. But I can tell he’s close to the edge. Just from this. Oh, this is going to be so fun. Who knew cold, unfeeling Matthias felt so much?
Because of me. Because of what I’m doing to him. I’m almost drunk on the power. On the knowledge that his pleasure is in my hands.
I continue to play with him, making his cries grow louder, more visceral until his hole clamps around my finger and I feel him jerk forward. His body spasms, his neck arched back as he gasps for air.
And then he collapses forward. For a moment, I wonder if I killed him, but he inhales sharply and roughly, and my finger slips from him.
“Jesus, Wy. Fuck. You can’t—you can’t do that to me.”
“Why not? I plan on doing that the rest of the night.”
He turns to look at me over his shoulder, slipping slightly, water splashing over the edge of the tub and onto the ground as he falls onto his ass. I reach out and try to steady him but end up falling into him a little more.
“That was—” he swallows so loudly his throat clicks. I push back and stare at him. “That was—” he groans as I sit back on my heels and preen.
“It was better than you expected?”
“For a guy who thought he was straight a few weeks ago? Yeah. I didn’t know you even knew we had prostates.”
“I do. Even watched some porn about it. Intriguing stuff.”
Matthias just blinks up at me. “Do you ever want—?” he begins, and I shake my head.
“I don’t think so, but I like doing it to you. I like hearing you scream. It’s becoming a bit of a hobby.”
He blushes and I grin at him, unable to stop myself from leaning forward and pressing a slow, filthy kiss to those lips. He returns it, his tongue slipping into my mouth, his hands moving around to my back and pulling me into him. I end up on his lap, my hands in his hair, holding him steady as I plunder his mouth.
It’s only when the water grows cool that we pull apart, and Matthias says, “We’ve been sitting in my cum this entire time.”
“Should we rinse off in the shower?”
“Yeah. I think so,” he says, and we stand up, striding toward the shower, both our cocks hard from just kissing one another. I make sure to swipe the lube in my palm as we move from the tub to the shower, and Matthias sees this. Because when we step under the spray, he turns toward the tiled wall and arches his ass out toward me.
An offering.
I can’t help but slick up two fingers and push them into him, finding that special bump and working him toward the edge with deft precision. His cries echo off the walls as I kiss my way up his neck, biting on his shoulder, leaving marks on him. My marks.
Mine.
And when he explodes, I make sure to capture those moans of pleasure in my throat. I swallow them, letting my fist stroke my dick to get off, but he has other plans.
His hand replaces mine as he pushes me up against the wall this time, dribbling lube on my hard length and working me until it’s my turn to fall over the edge. And when I do, when I’m trembling and clawing at the wall for purchase, to find something to ground me, he pulls me into him and tucks his face into my neck.
“Wy. Please. Tell me this won’t end,” he whispers, the words almost washed away by the spray hitting the floor.
“It won’t. I plan on keeping you awake all night.”
He huffs, his shoulders sagging slightly. Perhaps it’s not what he wanted to hear, but it’s all I can give him right now.
And I’m not lying. I do plan on keeping him up all night.
I plan on making his body mine.
* * *
“Oh god,” Matthias moans as I push my fingers into his tight ass. He’s waking up, his body prone on the mattress, his face buried in the pillow. He looks…delicious, like an early morning snack. Powerful, put-together Matthias moaning, coming undone for me.
“Oh fuck. Yes, Wy. Yes.”
“Morning,” I rumble as he turns his head, his groggy gaze meeting mine.
“Wy,” he breathes as I crook my fingers and find that small bump once more. I did it several times last night too, waking us both up by slicking up my fingers and making him come. He has to be exhausted. The sheets definitely need to be changed. Honestly, if I keep this up, by the time this marriage is over, we’ll have aged years just from lack of sleep.
The thought has me freezing, my fingers still inside of him, my heart clenching tightly.
Don’t fucking think of that. Don’t. This is nothing more than sexual gratification. Getting each other off while we both wait for the contract to end.
“What’s wrong? Why’d you stop?” Matthias asks, breathless.
I crook my fingers and make him arch back against the movement. “Who said I was stopping?”
“Oh fuck,” he murmurs as I resume fucking into him with my fingers. He bends one of his legs up slightly, changing the angle and starts to writhe back against my hand. Fuck, I want to stick my cock inside of him. I want to impale him on me. Funnily enough, just yesterday I was unsure if I was ready to do that, but now…after all night of being inside of him in some way…it no longer seems like something I’m struggling with.
I think it would feel glorious.
Plus, he’s so fucking hot. I guess I always thought he was. Even when we were young I’d find myself just watching him.
“I want your dick. I want to suck your cock,” Matthias gasps. “Give it to me. Rough. I want it rough.”
Not questioning or hesitating, I slip my fingers from his ass and pull him further down the bed, turning him onto his back. His cock slaps against his stomach as I place my leg over his head and slot my dick at his mouth, slipping it inside. He groans around me as I lean over and enter his ass once more. My head rests on his thigh, my lips brushing over those taught and quivering muscles of his abdomen as I enter him at both ends.
His dick jumps each time I press against his prostate and my mouth opens on a low groan as Matthias shifts closer and sucks me down further. My eyes roll back in my head at the feel of him slobbering around my dick and I tighten my hold on him with my legs, keeping myself in the back of his throat for a long minute. He struggles for a moment before my legs loosen and he pulls off, gasping for air before grabbing on to my ass and attacking my dick with a ferocity that has me nearly arching off the bed.
Fuck, why is it like this with him? Why the fuck is it so good?
I add a third finger into him, wanting to give it to him as rough as he wants it, and he cries out at the stretch. I twist my wrist, spreading my fingers and opening him further. As I do this, I let my face sink into his groin, inhaling the musky scent of him.
I shouldn’t like this. I shouldn’t and yet the way he feels around me, the way he consumes me has me dragging my teeth over the base of his cock. Matthias cries out, his muffled scream jolting through my dick and to my balls.
I mouth at the base of his cock, letting my tongue feel him, exploring. Tasting.
He’s wild with lust now, his fingers digging roughly into my ass as he does something with his tongue that makes my heart skip a beat and my eyes cross.
And as pleasure overwhelms me, I push my mouth down on his dick. I can’t stop myself. I take him as deep as I can and suck.
That’s all it takes. I’m falling.
As my cock jerks its release, I feel Matt’s ass tighten around my fingers. His cum spills into me as he cries out.
I cough slightly, letting it drip from my mouth, gathering around the neatly trimmed pubic hair of his groin. And yet still, I can taste him, that bitter-sweet flavor of him.
My cock falls from his mouth and my fingers pull from his ass as the two of us try and catch our breath.
“You sucked my dick,” he finally says, his voice hoarse.
“I wanted a taste.”
“Shit, Wy. You can’t…oh god, now I want you to do that again.”
“Maybe I’ll give it to you again. Who knows.”
He lifts his head and meets my gaze, groaning as he flops back against his pillow.
“Fuck. I’m not going to make it a year with you.”
I let out a laugh, even though it feels hollow. “Same. I haven’t come this much in my life.”
He’s quiet a moment and then asks, “It wasn’t like this with Jen?”
I scoff. “No. It wasn’t.”
Then I roll up and run a hand through my hair. “I’m going to shower and then?—”
“I’m sorry to have asked that. It’s none of my business.”
“Yeah, it’s not, but that’s okay. I’m over it, over her and what we had. It wasn’t real.”
And neither is what we have either, I realize.
He’s silent as I move into the bathroom and shower. He doesn’t join me, just washes separately, and after we eat breakfast in near silence, he peers over at me.
“I made a reservation.”
“For what?”
“Can it be a surprise?”
“As long as you don’t drive anywhere.”
He rolls his eyes and then stands, taking our plates and putting them in the sink. “Come on. We don’t want to be late.”
* * *
“A fucking helicopter ride? Matt, are you serious?” I ask as I stare at the large death machine before us. A man is in the pilot seat and the other is waiting for us to step inside, but I don’t move.
“Deadly.”
“Oh god, don’t say deadly. I hate heights,” I reply.
Matthias’s face falls as the blades of the helicopter start to whip around violently. “Since when?”
“Since I realized you could die from falling from them,” I say, my stomach clenching in nerves.
“You used to climb things all the time.”
“Until the day I fell out of a tree and broke my ankle,” I say sourly. “Kinda put a damper on the whole thing.”
He frowns. “I don’t remember that.”
“It happened…after.”
After you betrayed me. Ghosted me.
The past stretches taut between us for a moment before Matthias speaks. “All right, but if you take this ride with me, we can see a volcano and the entire island.”
The way he looks disappointed has me inhaling deeply. He did this for me. This is my surprise. How long has he been planning this? Something inside of me cracks and I let out a long breath.
“What if we die?”
“We won’t. I know these guys. They’re the best. And the sky is clear and there’s no wind. We’ll be fine.”
I hesitate a little as his hand twines in mine.
“I won’t let you fall, Wy,” he says and those words have me moving forward. We step inside, place headphones over our ears, and Matthias straps me in before taking care of himself. Then the helicopter starts to move. Moments later, we’re so far off the ground that the people lingering on the island are just mere dots.
If we fall out of the sky, we’re not going to survive.
“Oh god,” I murmur as I grow lightheaded.
Matthias’s hand goes to my leg and he holds on to it tightly, grounding me.
“You’re safe, baby,” he says, and I peer over at him, at those eyes. So sincere, so well-meaning.
Why couldn’t he have kept that promise to me all those years ago? How different would this have been? Would I have ever come around to finding out how much I like having sex with him if we hadn’t been forced to marry? Or would we have just stayed friends?
I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. I’m so fucking confused.
All I know is that we’re a million miles off the ground and… I turn my head and see the expanse of the sea, the small islands littering the water, and oh my god, it’s beautiful.
I lose the ability to speak, to even be afraid. This is incredible. I’ll never see anything like this again, I’m sure of it. Our fingers link as I stare out at the passing scenery, taking it all in, reveling in it, and when the pilot flies us over the top of a volcano I gasp, my hand moving up to my throat.
I turn to make sure Matthias is seeing this, that I’m not the only one experiencing this, but he’s just looking at me.
Only at me.
“It’s beautiful,” I whisper, and he nods, swallowing roughly.
“It is.”