Chapter 48
48
‘Your marriage is entirely your business …’
‘Give it a rest,’ Anthony spat, with a flash of real nastiness. ‘Blah blah, “your marriage”, playing the innocent. If it’s all my business then why ever get involved with me?’
‘Because I was extremely messed up at the time, at the end of a serious relationship.’
‘You admitted we were in love. I have messages from you saying you loved me.’
Bel clenched her jaw. She struggled to think of something more repulsive than claiming ongoing rights to intimacy with someone, after one brief encounter. Anthony was like private browsing on a dodgy site and letting a virus into your computer.
‘I was wrong. Feelings change. We didn’t know each other.’
‘Oh, I know you , Isabel. We’re twinned souls.’
‘That is mental, arrogant and romanticising that you’re not taking no for an answer. If you knew me you’d know how much I don’t want to hear from you.’
‘Look,’ and she could see Anthony switching gears to ‘ let’s drop all this silly belligerence, I idolise you ’ nice cop, and she felt sick: ‘We didn’t give this a chance. We were absolutely sensational together and you know it. I understand why your pride was hurt that I wouldn’t leave Julie straight away. Any man would jump at the chance of being with you, and you had the bad luck to fall for someone who was saying hold on while I figure a few things out. My situation is more complex than yours because I’m ten years further down the road. Leaving is a process, not an event. You took it to mean I don’t care enough, and I want to assure you, I do.’
‘I don’t want you, Anthony. I don’t want anything to do with you. I don’t know how many times you can be told that before you accept it.’
‘I’d probably need you to not have kissed me like your life depended on it. I’d need you not to have pushed me onto the bed and put me in your mouth in the first minutes we were ever alone together in a locked room, to believe it. This talk of my “stalking” you? You devoured me.’
He was smirking as if this was waggish wit, as if he wasn’t simply trying to humiliate and nauseate her. How was this supposed to work? Was he going to heckle, insult and mortify her into being in love with him?
But of course, Bel’s perspective was a blank to him.
Anthony was a psychopath, Bel thought. Not the knife wielding sort (though right now she’d not bet her house on it) but a misaligned, insidious, suburban, low-grade psychopath, who was so bored with his staid life and the vanity version of himself he successfully passed off as, that he’d invented this erotic thriller he was starring in. He’d cast Bel as his leading lady. His mediocre male misogyny helped seal the deal: imagining that she existed only in relation to him, that he was irresistible, that with his quicksilver intellect he was outfoxing her.
Maybe future generations would have a label for his genre. Meanwhile Bel would have to live forever in the knowledge that one got past what she imagined were her sophisticated defences.
‘Thought that would give you pause. You want me to forget what that evening was like, but I won’t and I can’t. I know you can’t either …’
Don’t forget the mission, Bel told herself. He wants you to lose control.
‘I regret that happened. It will never happen again. Are you going to stop?’
‘Stop what?! You have walled off all routes by which to contact you!’
‘Stop the emails. Stop pestering people I know. Stop shit like this, turning up at an address you’ve purposely not been given.’
‘I knew that man wasn’t your partner, by the way. Last night. I knew it was a little theatre. He is not someone you’d choose. He’s a “Chad Thundercock”– Jake taught me the lingo.’
‘Are you listening?’
‘No. I’m not, because you are wrecking both our lives in a fit of pique. I’m in love with you, Bel, and you’re in love with me. I want you to think about what we could have if we both admitted that. I’ve admitted it, however inconvenient it is, quite frankly. It’s pretty obvious at this point it’s ruining my life. Can you admit it?’
‘Anthony. I am telling you, plainly and clearly, I no longer want any contact with you. That is not going to change. You are at my home after finding my address out by some underhand means, you have tried to extract my mobile number from my ex-boyfriend. Obsessively seeking contact with a woman who does not want it is harassment. I will go to the police if there is any more behaviour like this from you, anything at all. I have kept scores of emails as evidence. Do you understand that? Final warning.’
Anthony sighed.
‘You go to the police and I’ll counter claim you’re harassing me. I’ll describe what’s passed between us, that we’ve had an affair. That I won’t leave my wife and you’re reporting me as revenge. Who do you think will come out of it looking vindictive, the single woman or the married man? You think the police will be interested in refereeing a lovers’ tiff? Still, all publicity for your work, I’m sure. A bit of notoriety can’t hurt.’
‘Even though you know that’s not true?’ Bel said. ‘You’re threatening me that you’ll say something that’s untrue to the police?’
‘I’ll defend myself to the hilt before I’ll let myself become a victim of Isabel Macauley’s willingness to chew men up and spit them out. This was a game of bait and switch on your part and my crime is to represent the consequences of what you’ve done, instead of taking my punishment like a good boy.’
‘That’s a yes, you’d lie? Because I’m not stalking you– you’re stalking me.’
‘I’m saying, if you decide to publicly and professionally embarrass and damage me, I’ll make damn sure the same happens to you.’
‘Even if it means lying?’
‘You’re lying about everything anyway. You’re lying to yourself most of all. Quid pro quo.’
‘And you don’t care about the effect of this on me?’
‘When have you ever cared about the effect of this on me? ’
Connor emerged from behind the kitchen island, making Antony physically startle, and spoke to Bel.
‘I think that will do it. Please don’t make me listen to any more of this mad idiot.’
‘Have you got enough?’ she said. That felt like a line in a film.
‘Oh, more than,’ Connor said. He tapped at his handset and adjusted the volume.
Anthony’s disembodied voice filled the air.
‘… love with you Bel and you’re in love with me. I want you to think about what we could have if we both admitted that. I’ve admitted it, however inconvenient it is, quite frankly. It’s pretty obvious at this point it’s ruining my life.’
Connor switched it off.
Bel turned back to a frightened-looking Anthony.
‘There we are, Connor has got a video of our whole interaction. I’m willing to have that replayed in a police interview, or a court, or in front of your wife. I stand by everything I said. Do you feel the same?’
‘Fuck you,’ Anthony said to her, a mask dropping. ‘Seriously, fuck what a horrible person you are, despite this … “responsible feminist” persona.’
‘Thought so. Bye, Anthony. For good this time.’
She slammed the door. She turned, leaned against it and heaved shaky breaths as her pulse rate descended.
‘And scene,’ Connor said. ‘For the avoidance of doubt, you were magnificent.’