Chapter 43
“This way.” The host motions for us to follow him as he leads us to a small table in the back of the open-air restaurant. He’s American, or his English is perfect.
“Thank you.” Lucas takes two menus from the man as he holds my chair for me.
I’m not sure what I expected after two rounds of the wildest sex of my life, but taking me to a nice oceanside restaurant was low on the list of possibilities.
“I feel guilty. This is so nice. Shouldn’t we head back to Santa Rosa?”
“After.”
One word. With finality to it.
A nervous flutter tightens my stomach. Lucas hasn’t questioned me yet. I know there’s no escaping the grilling that’s coming my way. I feel it coming like a storm building on the horizon. In the middle of that thunderhead is my now uncertain employment.
God. My life is a freaking mess.
And I’m about to eat dinner with the cause of my downfall.
Lucas slides my chair in and moves to sit across from me, settling his massive frame into the high-back chair. His dark hair is still damp, it’s a little ruffled, like he ran his hand through it.
He’s endlessly fascinating.
The clean scent of the soap we shared in the shower floats toward me on the soft evening breeze. Warmth fills me from my neck to my toes.
I must still be high off his touch. That’s the only explanation for the fact that I’m relaxed and happy while my life is crumbling around me.
Lucas uses one finger to push a leather-bound menu across the table toward me.
But I don’t look at it. I can’t stop looking at him. All of him.
The way his clean T-shirt hugs his biceps. The dark stubble that’s getting thicker by the hour.
Man, he is gorgeous. But not just that… he’s got this irresistible magnetism.
He lifts his sexy eyes to meet my hungry gaze. One side of his mouth hitches. “You’re staring.”
I press my lips as my cheeks heat. “I’m sorry, but now I feel like I can really look at you, and not have to worry about the consequences.”
He chuckles darkly, his gaze turning hot. “Sweetheart, if you keep looking at me like that, there will be consequences.”
I glance around, heat really flaming on my cheeks now. There’s no one close by. “Not sure if my pussy can take any more of that right now. Or other parts for that matter.”
His eyes go even more molten as he leans back in his chair. “Then I’ve done my job well.”
I give my head a shake and pick up the menu. “You’re so freaking cocky.”
“Not really.”
I look over the menu at him. More curious about him than ever. “What are you, then?”
“Sure of certain things.”
The menu seems really uninteresting at this point. I could give a flip what they serve. As I lower it back to the table, I lift my brows. “What’s that?”
His head tilts. “That I’ve never met a woman like you.”
I shift in my seat, uncomfortable, as I make a small snort. “I’m really not sure that’s a good thing.”
He studies me. “What makes you tick, Cameron?”
The sound of my real name on his lips makes me shiver. My unease grows until I have to glance at the table. Anywhere but at him.
For some reason, my throat feels really tight. I wish there was water on the table.
“Quit stalling.”
I pick up the menu, but he playfully knocks it down. “I know how to get answers out of you.”
Lord, he does!
“Trust me, I know.”
“No use fighting it. You might as well tell me. I’ll find out what I want one way or another.”
I fold my hands on top of the table and decide to let go. “Okay.”
He lifts a brow. The one he always lifts when he’s surprised.
“I need a second here. I’m feeling kind of emotional.”
He watches as I swallow a few times, fiddle with my hands. Look at the ceiling.
When I get my nerves and my heart together, I finally speak. “I wasn’t supposed to be anything.”
Everything about Lucas intensifies.
Knowing he’s not going to let me leave it at that, I push forward. “My father always told me I was a whore like my mother. Which she wasn’t, by the way. She was a teenage girl he got drunk and forced to have sex. But anyway, he said I’d never be anybody. That I wasn’t smart. That I wasn’t pretty. That I would never get away from our small town. I was destined to repeat the cycle if you listened to him.”
Lucas is eerily still. His tone drops low. “He’s going to pay for that.”
I let that rumbly, growled threat wash over me.
I don’t know if my father will ever pay, but just hearing Lucas take up for me makes my heart tremble.
I’ve never truly had anyone in my corner. Until now.
I draw a shaky breath. “Since I was fifteen, I’ve been determined to prove him wrong in every way I can. My friend, who called me Poppy, used to daydream with me about getting out of the ramshackle mining town we lived in. He watched all kinds of crime shows. He was telling me about them, and that’s how I came up with my plan. As soon as I found out about the FBI and CIA, I wanted to be that. I wanted to destroy criminals like those my father surrounded himself with. I wanted to use my brain to deliver justice.”
“Was your father a sheep or a shepherd?”
I know exactly what Lucas is asking.
“He was never smart enough to be the ringleader, funny, given that he was always knocking my intelligence. But he was always in the thick of whatever scam, organized crime, or scheme he could find. If we’d have lived where there was a mafia, he’d have been a made man. Instead, he hopped from one thing to another, skipping through life stealing, conning, and ruining other people’s lives. Including mine.”
I lean back in my chair. Just thinking about him makes me exhausted.
Lucas spreads his hands on the table, almost as if he’s doing so to keep himself from making fists. “So, that’s how you got to PCI.”
This part of the story is what really hurts. I nod. “It turns out…” But I can’t finish. My words get tangled up with the knot in my throat.
He reaches for my hand, stretching his arm across the table, wrapping my fingers in his warm hold. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
“You know, don’t you?”
His eyes soften. He gives a single nod.
I refuse to let the stinging in my throat reach my eyes. I’ve already cried enough over this. But the pain is etched there. Deep. Where it always will be. “I couldn’t get a job like I wanted because of my father’s criminal history.”
Lucas’s eyes harden, his breath comes out of flared nostrils.
It takes a beat before I can steady my voice and go on. “You see, I got out of my town. I went to college on grants and loans. There was a program for people that grew up in old mining communities.”
I smile painfully. “I even had an academic scholarship, much to my father’s dismay. But I guess he was right about me not being smart in a way, because I didn’t know I wasn’t a candidate to work in either agency until I got through college, had the required work history, then I applied for federal jobs. When I found out that his rap sheet prevented me from working there, it shattered me.”
Lucas squeezes my hand. “Babe…”
I sigh and try to focus on the warmth of those strong fingers. “Anyway, I guess I was too stubborn to give up. I was told that if I proved myself in the industry, there might be a way to get around the issues. So, I had to take a job in the private sector.”
I’m staring at our hands when a waitress shows up. She’s wearing a cute dress, reminding me that I’m wearing one of Lucas’s T-shirts with my shorts. Luckily, he had a go-bag in the truck, so I could at least have a clean shirt.
“Hello, welcome to Vista Del Mar.”
I try to smile, but I’m stuck in a sad place.
Lucas slides the menus aside. “We need a few minutes. Can you circle back? Thanks.”
She drifts off.
Trying to change the subject, I say, “I almost forgot the ocean is right over there.”
“You were too busy looking at me.”
“Okay, you have me there.” I somehow manage to smile, even though I’ve just revealed the most embarrassing thing in my adult life.
He leans in, rests an elbow on the table. All of his focus is on me. “What did you study in school?”
It’s unnerving how easily he disarms me. But that’s something I can’t figure out right now. “Finance. I’m good with numbers. Languages, no. Formulas and number sequences, yes.”
His gaze goes thoughtful as he strokes his thumb over the back of my hand. “Can you tell me about your case?”
I pinch my lips between my teeth. “Um. I’m not sure. I guess I could be general…”
“How long have you worked for Nighthawk?”
Something inside my head clicks. I jolt but try to hide my reaction. A sinking feeling hits me, making my stomach feel cold.
“What did you say?” I ask nervously.
“When did you start working for Nighthawk?”
How does Lucas know my boss’s code name?