Chapter 6
Chapter Six
The only thing that could’ve made graduation day better was having my mom there to see me walk the stage. I like to think she’d be proud of me, just like I’d love to believe we’d all be one happy, healthy family. She would be standing with my dad while holding her first and only grandchild in her arms. My eyes almost water while posing for pictures with my family as I think about the void she left.
“Are you okay?” Niko stays behind after taking pictures, while the rest of my family scatters for my celebratory dinner at one of Hunter’s restaurants.
“Yeah.” I blink away the moisture from my eyes. “Just thinking about Mama.”
He wraps his arm around me, pulling me against his tall, lean frame. “I know. She’d be so proud of you. Just as I am.”
“Just trying to be like you.”
Niko and I have always been super tight, partly due to our dads encouraging open lines of communication when we were younger.
“Nah.” He grins. “You’re better than me. I didn’t graduate Summa Cum Laude.”
“Brains and beauty. That’s my girl,” my dad says as he approaches us, wearing his favorite blue suit and the tie I gave him for Father’s Day nearly five years ago. I remember when Grandma Cora helped me pick it out.
“Thanks, Dad.” I smile. “Did you find your phone?” He hadn’t realized he lost it until he wanted to take a picture of me and my roommates together after the ceremony.
“I did. It was still on my chair in the auditorium.”
“Dad.” I sigh, shaking my head.
“I know, Bug.” His sheepish grin makes him look younger than his fifty-seven years, despite the fine lines around his eyes and having more gray hair than blond now. His smile slowly disappears as he acknowledges Niko. “Niko,” he says, his tone careful as he holds out his hand.
“Graham.” Niko gives my dad his hand for a quick shake before dropping his arm to his side.
I’m a daddy’s girl, even when it served me no purpose, while Niko was always a mama’s boy. Losing her in such a sudden and tragic way significantly affected his relationship with my dad. He struggles with the fact our mother is dead from an addiction that my dad turned her on to, while my dad is flourishing in multiple aspects of his life, thanks to his healthy vegan lifestyle, his successful art gallery, the substantial inheritance following Grandpa George’s and Grandma Cora’s deaths, and his newly found relationship with God.
It was at my mom’s gravesite where Niko’s anger exploded toward my dad. All hell broke loose when my dad put his arm on Niko’s shoulder to comfort him. Without warning, Niko shoved his hand away. “It should’ve been you,” Niko spat at my father. “This is your fault. You son of a bitch!” It took Niko’s dad and two of his frat brothers to drag him away as he wailed and growled through his grief.
“How are you, Son?” my dad asks, pulling me back from my memories of one of the worst days of my life, second only to the day my dad and I found my mom’s lifeless body on the bathroom floor.
“I’m good.” A faint, restrained smile plays on Niko’s lips, almost invisible but undeniable to those who know him. “You?”
A look of surprise mixed with cautious excitement spreads across my dad’s face. “I’m good.”
I don’t think he expected Niko’s return question. I didn’t. Though he may be just being polite. When someone asks you how you are, you politely return the question. But maybe it’s more than that. Maybe he’s extending an olive branch. A girl can hope, right?
“Can I get one more picture of you two?” My dad pulls out his phone. “I wish Yasmine hadn’t already left.”
“One more, Dad. Ian went to move the car closer. He’s probably waiting for me.” I stand closer to Niko as he puts his arm back around me.
My dad holds up his phone. “He can wait,” he says before taking a few pictures. But after realizing he forgot to turn on the flash, he has to retake them. A soft chuckle slips from me at his lack of technological ability. “I wish Tina was here to see you both all grown up.” My dad’s voice cracks slightly with emotion.
“We all do.” Niko’s voice is tinged with sadness, but he quickly composes himself.
“There we have it,” Dad says, taking the last picture, his throat working in a swallow as he does.
I blink away my tears. The memories and emotions are tangible in the air, reminding us of her absence.
After the last flash, Niko heads out with barely a goodbye. I stay behind with my dad, teaching him how to upload images to his Facebook story until I catch sight of Victor through a gap in the crowd near the women’s restroom. He’s all dressed up, wearing a black button-down shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a pair of nice khakis and hard shoes. His jaw is smooth like always, but his hair is different—more put together—the dark strands swept back by his fingers. He looks good. Better than good, and my God , I can’t help but bite my lip.
My focus shifts back and forth between him and my dad’s phone. Eventually, Victor must feel someone watching him because he starts to look around until our gazes meet. Neither of us looks away, and as the seconds tick by, I know what this looks like and how this feels .
Victor’s eyes narrow slightly, and I wonder if he can read my thoughts. I can read his: What are you doing?
I don’t know. But this has got to stop. There are too many hearts on the line.
“Friend of yours?” My dad’s voice snaps me from my dangerous thoughts, and I quickly avert my gaze from Victor’s questioning eyes.
“What?”
“There was a young man who I thought—never mind. He’s gone. Ready to go? I’ll walk you out.”
“Yeah, sure.” I don’t dare look back.
The house party starts in six hours. Should crowd control problems arise, Liv and Esme will shut things down, calling the cops if need be. I hope it doesn’t come to that, but I’m worried. Not about those who were invited. It’s the potential party crashers who concern me.
After leaving my graduation dinner, Ian dropped me off at home before leaving for his place to pack his things. Do all guys wait until the last minute to pack, or is it just my man?
My man. My fiancé. It’d be good to remember that .
What Ian and I have is real. My unresolved feelings for Victor aren’t worth blowing up my life over.
I’ve been holed up in my room, triple-checking the contents of my bag. Ian will be here any second, and he really hates waiting, so I need to make sure I have everything by the door and ready to go if I want us to leave on time. As usual, I have vastly overpacked with enough clothing, shoes, and lingerie to last me a week instead of two days. And that’s not even counting my toiletries and makeup.
A loud, abrupt slam echoes from the hallway. It must have been Esme’s door shutting. I flinch at the sound, but a few seconds later, I can faintly hear hushed voices arguing through the thin wall separating our rooms.
“Did you have to embarrass me like that, though, in front of my grandfather? What the fuck, Victor?” Esme’s voice is strained and filled with hurt.
“What is it that you wanted me to say?”
“Um, I don’t know. Maybe give him the impression that this means something to you.”
“He asked me what my intentions were. If I saw a future with you.”
“And you paused like a dear in fucking headlights!”
I hold my breath, waiting for Victor’s response. Oh shit . Why the hesitation? What is he going to say? My stomach twists in knots as I cringe for Esme.
“I’ve never lied to you, Esme. So I won’t start now.” His words are steady and unwavering.
“What the fuck does that mean?”
His answer hangs in the air for a moment before he continues. “I don’t know if I see a future with you. All I know is that I want to be here. With you. Right now. Why can’t that be enough?”
“And if I were Skylar? Would you be saying the same fucking thing?”
The mention of my name sends shockwaves through me. What the hell am I hearing right now? Why would she say that?
“This isn’t about Skylar,” he says firmly.
What.
The.
Hell.
Is.
Happening?
“Oh, right. Because you missed your shot with the girl of your dreams, and now she’s with a man who isn’t afraid to grow the fuck up and make a commitment.”
My hand flies to my mouth in disbelief. The girl of his dreams? The girl of his dreams ? No. No way. What is she talking about? Victor never wanted me.
But why isn’t he saying anything?
My mind races as shock and confusion wage war on my thoughts. Did Victor have feelings for me? Was he really the one who got away? Why didn’t he ever tell me? Why didn’t she? It shouldn’t matter. But it does. It matters more than anything in this moment. Even if I was already with Ian when she found out Victor’s feelings toward me, she should’ve said something. But instead, she took him for herself.
Gah. I hate this.
Even if she had told me of Victor’s feelings, nothing would’ve changed. Ian is the one I’m supposed to be with. Not Victor.
As I stand frozen in my room, a part of me wants Victor to speak up—to clarify everything and make sense of this mess. But silence stretches on, and I realize that sometimes it’s better to let some things go.
I have to get the hell out of here. Right now. I frantically gather my belongings, my heart pounding in my chest as I tiptoe toward the door. But before I can escape, Esme swings her door open and catches me in the act, pinning me with a hard stare, one that breaks a little with what looks like guilt in her eyes.
“Are you okay?” I whisper, because even after everything, I’m worried about her.
“Esme. Where are you—” Victor appears behind her, his face falling when he sees me.
“Liv is waiting for me downstairs,” Esme says briskly, attempting to regain control of the situation.
Right . Liv and Esme are going on a booze run, leaving Victor here to move all the breakables and obstructive furniture to the garage.
Victor scrubs his face. “Liv can stay. I’ll go with you.”
“I’m good,” Esme insists, though her shaky voice betrays her true feelings. “Sky, do you want to come with us?”
I look at my smartwatch, wanting to say yes but knowing Ian is on his way. “I can’t. Ian will be here soon. I’ll wait for him in my bedroom so I’m not in the way.”
“Whatever,” Esme huffs before storming off toward the stairs.
“Esme, wait,” Victor calls after her, but she doesn’t stop. He turns to me with a regretful look before following after her.
I’m left alone in the hallway, my mind spinning and my heart thrashing about in my chest.