Chapter Ten
A downed tree limb had taken out a section of the barbed-wire fencing. They made quick work of fixing it, working as a team to pull the barbed wire tight around the new fencepost they installed. The curious cattle milled nearby watching them, listening to them talk about nothing. The weather. The fall color in the mountain larches. Anything but what was clearly happening between them.
As they were loading the wire bale back into the Gator, though, Shay’s hand accidentally got caught by a barb that sliced her hand right through her glove.
“ Gaaa! ” she gasped, grabbing her hand which immediately started to bleed.
Shaking out her fist, she danced around the Gator in pain.
“Lemme see,” he demanded, reaching for her hand. He opened up her fingers. Blood had already spread across her glove. “God. I’m sorry. Was that my fault?”
“No, it was mine. I was... my hand almost got trapped under the bale and I yanked it away. Almost made a clean getaway. Darn it!”
He slipped off her glove carefully and inspected the cut. “That’s kinda deep. You had a tetanus shot lately?”
“Maybe. Probably.” She shrugged, feeling a little light-headed looking at all the blood. “I can’t remember for sure.”
He pulled his clean bandana out of his pocket, wrapping it around her hand, tying it tight. “Keep some pressure on it to get the bleeding stopped.”
“It’s not that bad. Is it? It just stings. Like crazy.”
“Well, aside from a tetanus shot, you might need a couple of stitches.”
“ No. You think?” Dread filled her expression. She’d never had stitches. The thought of it made her feel dizzy. She felt silly, clumsy, ridiculous. “I-I don’t like needles. Seriously, I hate them. I avoid flu shots, for heaven’s sakes. Maybe they could use glue or foam or—”
Gently, he took her wrist in his hand and rubbed a thumb over her skin. “Hey. It’ll be okay, Shay. We’ll take care of it.”
We’ll take care of it. We will. It had been a long, long time since anyone said those words to her. With him holding her arm that way and touching her as if it was the most natural thing to do, she felt... irrationally, like maybe he was right. She’d be fine. Except for the needle part. Stupidly, her eyes filled with tears.
She lifted her watery gaze to his and returned his smile. “I’m just being a baby about it.”
“Nah. I get it,” he said, guiding her into the passenger seat of the Gator. “For me, it’s snakes. Which, for a guy who’s lived in both Texas and Montana—rattlesnake capitals of the world—that’s essentially a big problem.”
She laughed. “Have you even been bitten?”
“Kidding me? I’d like to see the snake who can get close enough to sink its fangs into me. No, that’s me running away like a little kid across the pasture.” They laughed together as he accelerated the four-wheeler, flying across the field. “Don’t tell your brothers.”
“You’re just trying to make me feel better.”
“Maybe a little. But the fear of snakes thing... yeah, that’s absolutely true.” He turned his headlight grin her way making her wary heart squeeze in her chest.
There were, indeed, stitches in her hand later at urgent care. Four, to be exact. And she did not die. Or even faint. It was okay, and Cooper stayed right beside her the whole time, telling jokes, laughing with the nurses and the doctor. Being charming. That was a skill he’d developed over the years. It wasn’t one she remembered from his boyhood in Marietta when he’d been simply shy and brilliant.
As he charmed the nurses and doctors and held her other hand as she got stitched up, Shay realized that sometime in the last few weeks, she’d stopped thinking of him as a cautionary tale—a danger to her family—and instead as someone she wanted in her life.
It was an earthquake of a thought. A terrifying thought. One that gave her a weird sense of peace. She’d spent most of her life fighting the idea of a man in her life. Any man. She’d convinced herself that it would be just her and Ryan until he was fully grown. There were a lot of reasons why that made sense. But sense seemed to have nothing to do with what she was feeling for Cooper.
Watching him advocate for her with her doctor, even when she could have done it herself, did not offend her. Instead, it made her realize how tired she was of doing everything alone. Without someone who cared about her. Her family and, more particularly, Ryan were crazy about him, and for her son, the feeling seemed mutual. Ryan had bloomed under Cooper’s attention and had made great strides with Kholá and other things. Like math. And smiling. And feeling happy.
Maybe it was all in her imagination that Cooper was feeling the same things she was. And that would be her bad. Talking about feelings with men was not a skill she’d mastered. Not because she didn’t have feelings. But risking sharing them with anyone felt... dangerous. The last time she’d told a man she cared about him, he’d left her alone and pregnant.
These days, she’d settled for the possibility that her best years were behind her. That had been fine for a long time. Believing in love and happily ever after had always been a stretch for her. First her parents, who had never been well-suited to a life together, then her twin, Will, whose own divorce had devastated him. But he’d taken a chance again on love, returning to the ranch with Izzy, and Shay had admitted to herself for the first time, that maybe what was standing in the way of her own real happiness wasn’t the world, or summer boy, Ethan.
It was her.
On the way back to the ranch, Cooper asked if she minded if they stopped by his father’s place to pick up a few things for him. Of course, she said yes. She was curious about the place they’d left so long ago and how it had fared.
While the outside needed some attention, the inside looked freshly updated with paint and new furniture. There were arched doorways and refinished wood doors, and big throw rugs that made the room feel cozy and still masculine. Even the kitchen had been updated and freshened up with copper pots hanging on the wall.
“Who did all this?” she asked, standing in the middle of the living room, with its raftered ceiling and river rock fireplace. “It’s so cozy and beautiful.”
He seemed taken aback by her comment. “Thanks. I did most of it. It needed freshening up after all those years. The guy who was renting it wasn’t much in the way of housekeeping, but I enjoyed working on it before my father came home. Pulling it into the twenty-first century.”
“Who knew you had interior designer instincts lurking behind those green eyes of yours.”
He laughed, pulling a jacket from the front hall closet before ushering her into his father’s room. “I wouldn’t go that far and never let your brothers hear you say that. I’d get kicked out of the cowboy union.”
“Oh, I doubt that.” She scanned Ray’s bedroom with its big bed and cozy bedding. A wall of blue cupboards that looked newly built stretched across one wall with a wall-mounted TV in the center. “Where’d you learn to do all this anyway? Surely not on that ranch you worked at?”
He pulled a handful of shirts from his father’s closet. “Let’s just say I had a lot of spare time on my hands when I wasn’t working horses. During the pandemic, I got sucked in by a home repair website and had a lot of the renovations clear in my head before I even got here.” He shrugged. “Filled the hours.”
She tilted a look at him. “Lonely hours?” She almost bit her tongue for asking such a personal question. He met her gaze with brief uncertainty. “Sorry, none of my business.”
“Truth?” he answered, dumping the shirts onto the pile he’d laid on the bed. “Yeah. There were lots of those. I wasn’t in a place to date, really. So, I kept to myself. By choice. And besides, I had this secret crush that I, honestly, never intended to act on.”
Shay felt her face get warm. “Oh?”
“Yeah. See, there was this girl, back here in Marietta... you wouldn’t know her. I almost didn’t recognize her.”
Her heart fell. “Oh.”
“She was kind of out of my league, and she didn’t have any idea about this crush of mine. Mostly because I never told her. But once I came back here, she’d made it pretty clear she wanted nothing to do with me.”
She grinned, realizing he was talking about her. She opened her mouth to disagree but he went on.
“Then, you know, things happened.” He moved closer, sidling up to her until his hips were touching hers and his fingers slipped around either side of her jaw. “And she kissed me up in the mountains and I thought maybe there’s hope after all.”
His mouth hovered above hers for a moment before he kissed her, lightly. Just long enough to start heat curling in her belly. “I wish…I wish you’d said something. All those years ago.”
His lips just brushed against hers again. So soft it was like a whisper that made her crave something... louder.
“Maybe,” he said against her cheek, “it wasn’t the right time for us, then. But now—” He kissed the side of her neck, instigating a flash of heat inside her that threatened to explode into a full-blown torch.
She tipped her head back, giving him better access. “Now?”
“Now, it’s up to you.” He ran his teeth along her neck, nibbling her there before turning his attention to her mouth. “You decide if you’re ready for this.”
This? As if she wasn’t sure exactly what he meant.
With her good hand, she dragged his hand down from her shoulder to her breast and lower, against her belly until it found its destination between her legs. “Ahh, yes,” she whispered.
A sound—a groan—escaped him as he cupped her there.
“Yes,” she breathed again against his ear.
A shiver ran through him that he couldn’t disguise. He claimed her mouth then, fully, without holding back, as if he could devour her and gladly allow her to do the same to him. Not the tender, curious kiss they’d shared before. No, this one was hungry and unapologetic.
Without lifting his mouth from hers, he walked her back until her knees collided with the bed, then fell with her against the soft mattress, catching his weight before he crushed her there.
She wasn’t even afraid of that. It felt divine, his weight against her. To be held so completely. She wrapped her legs around his hips and drew him closer as they plundered one another’s mouths, teeth scraping, tongues lashing in their almost frantic need to get closer still.
He tugged at the button on her jeans and undid the zipper and she fumbled one-handed with his as well. He tugged her jeans down over her hips, then dispensed with her lacy panties as well. The buttons on her blouse were next and he slid the fabric aside to access her breasts.
For a moment, he simply stared down at her breasts with a shaky breath. “Beautiful.” His thumb teased her nipple through the fabric of her bra.
“Take off your shirt,” she told him. “I want to see you, too.”
He obliged, ripping off two of his buttons when they wouldn’t budge.
A nervous laugh escaped her. “Now you’ve done it.”
“Sacrifice for the greater good,” he murmured with that famous grin of his.
She couldn’t believe she was here. Half-naked with Cooper Lane, atop a strange bed, staring up at his beautiful face while his gaze searched hers. She skimmed his warm chest with her hands and the sprinkling of dark hair there. His chest was solid as the rest of him, contoured and beautiful from all the hours working on the range. She reached up and pressed her lips against his shoulder making him smile.
As he watched her beneath him, his hand roamed over her flank, across her belly and farther south. His mouth followed. Her eyes slid shut.
How long since any man touched me? How long since I’ve felt wanted? Physically wanted. So long. What if nothing worked anymore? What if I can’t—
“Sshhh—” he whispered. “It’s all right.”
Had he read her mind? Could he feel her tense?
“I know. It’s... it’s just that it’s been a long time for me,” she admitted, her fingers against his scalp. Maybe we should talk this out. Maybe we should wait. Not jump into anything we can’t take back.
“If you’re worried, I have protection.” He reached for his wallet, discarded on the bed along with his jeans.
“Wait,” she breathed. “Wait.”
“No?” he asked, clearly ready to stop if she asked him to.
“No, I want to. I-I just need—”
“What? Tell me.”
“Control. I need more control.” Ugh. “That sounds awful.”
He smiled slowly, understanding what she meant. Perhaps even why she needed that. “No. It doesn’t. Take it.”
And after a moment, she did.
All of that was old stuff, old fear and memories of a summer long ago. Not wanting to feel... powerless. It had nothing to do with Cooper except how he made her feel safe, right here and now.
Her hands were shaking as she rolled toward him, pushing him back against the duvet until she was on top of him. With his hands on her legs straddling him, he waited for her to make the next move. So, slowly, she stripped off her blouse and discarded her bra, then bent over him to do to him exactly what he’d done to her.
She kissed him everywhere, enjoying how he allowed her to control the pace and even refrained from touching her until she pulled his hands against her breasts. She nibbled on his neck and tugged on his earlobe, eliciting a groan from him. He was having a hard time staying still under her and finally didn’t try. He reached for his wallet and quickly dispensed with the protection as she tortured his neck with her teeth.
“Promise me that’s not ancient and broken,” she said.
He shook his head with a smile. “Promise. Brand new.”
“Good. But a little cocky.” She bent down and kissed him on the mouth until he rolled over with her arms around him. “Did you plan this?”
“No. But that’s me. Hopeful and practical.”
She laughed and so did he. He was hard with wanting and he flexed his hips against hers. She moved on top of him until, with his hands bracketing her hips, he guided himself inside her.
She smiled down at him, moving slowly at first, teasing him, watching the look on his face change from humor to need. She felt powerful yet vulnerable. And with each up and down, she controlled the pace, controlled her own body, her own choices. With the gentleness of his hands, he seduced her, telling her how he felt through his tender caresses. Until all she could do was to lean over him, kiss him with all the emotion she was feeling inside.
Slowly, he rolled her in his arms until she was under him, moving inside her slowly at first, giving her time to adjust to him. With every breathtaking thrust of his hips, she forgot to be afraid. Forgot the need to protect herself. Or even that they were two separate people—as if they’d been fused together by some magical force.
He gathered her up to him with his arms around her. Soon the rhythm overtook them, and they forgot to think at all. And when they both—by some miracle—came nearly at the same time, Cooper cried out his release, burying his damp face against her shoulder. He held her until their hearts had stopped racing and their breathing returned to normal.
When he finally rolled off her, he lay there smiling up at the ceiling as she turned to him, throwing her arm across his chest and her bare knee over his. She let out a deep sigh of satisfaction. “We just did that,” she murmured.
“We sure did.” His eyes were sparkling with happiness. He pushed a strand of hair off her cheek and tucked it behind her ear. “You don’t plan on firing me for that, do you?”
“Nuh-uh. Although I hear it’s never a good idea to mix business with pleasure. And that was... a lot of pleasure.”
“Yes, it was,” he agreed, kissing her again—just a brush of his lips with hers. “I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around how amazing that was.”
“Same. But I guess we don’t have to. None of it makes sense anyway.”
“I think we make sense,” he said. “Total sense. It’s been a long time coming.”
She spread her fingers across his chest. “I like the way you say that.”
“I’ll keep saying it until you believe me. Because it’s true.”
She lay, with her head on his shoulder, listening to the birds outside the window. “Maybe we should keep this between us for a while though. Until... I don’t know. I don’t want Ryan knowing what just happened.”
“Understood. But eventually—”
“Yes,” she finished. “Eventually they’ll all know. Just for now...”
He nodded. “I can keep a secret.”
“As long as it’s not between us.”
“No secrets,” he said, staring up at the ceiling.
She nodded, content. “Just a little more time.”
He rolled over her and kissed her again. It was a permanent sort of kiss, without the franticness of passion. But deep and kind. The sort of kiss she guessed lovers shared over a lifetime of kisses. And for the first time in forever, she began to imagine the possibility of that for herself and for him.
*
The next week was filled with busyness on the ranch, with construction and Kholá’s final training sessions with Ryan. Even though Kholá had started from square one with Ryan, the kid’s bond with the horse was undeniable. He’d managed to do what Cooper had thought was impossible in the allotted time frame and had a good chance of winning in the upcoming competition in his opinion.
Of course, it remained to be seen what the other kids had managed with their own horses. But even more important, Cooper felt the bond between him and Ryan deepening as well. He wanted that. He needed Ryan to trust him, too. But even aside from his growing relationship with Shay, his friendship and mentorship with Ryan felt important. And as the days passed, he felt more hopeful than he had in a long time.
Liam’s newlywed friends, Carolyn and Jess Brody, arrived and tested out the glamping tent for a long weekend honeymoon, complete with lazy afternoons spent fly-fishing in the Yellowstone or trail riding in the mountains. Evenings they all gathered around the campfire, eating Sarah’s wonderful cooking, and watching the Milky Way spin across the night sky.
They raved about having a luxe four-poster bed and all the amenities in the tent, and how the sounds of the prairie had lulled them into the best sleep of their lives. Frankly, no one—particularly Shay and Cooper—believed that was the only reason they slept well, but that was another story.
All in all, their inaugural stay was a smashing success and the Brodys left after their weekend, happy with promises to return for a longer stay with their friends.
As for Shay and Cooper, through much of October, they kept their growing relationship under wraps around the others, particularly Ryan. They’d met secretly a few times since that first afternoon at Cooper’s father’s place and their encounters had not been any less hungry than that first time together. They both knew the consequences of what they were doing. Yet unspoken, was where this was all headed. Neither of them had used weighted words yet, like love or the future . He didn’t want to risk spooking her when everything was going well. So, he held back. But to himself, there was no denying his feelings. This was a leap into the unknown for both of them, but one he was more than willing to take.
Apparently, he’d seriously underestimated the intuitive nature of teenage boys.
On the afternoon, two days before the big competition at the autumn festival, he was watching Ryan work with Kholá in the big ring. Today, he was working bareback, reinless, working on the trust that went both ways between them, using his legs to guide the filly in big figure eights around the ring. Kholá seemed happy to oblige him, ears perked forward, all the tentativeness gone from her stride. Even Cooper was impressed.
When Ryan stopped Kholá near the gate and swung his leg over her neck carefully to dismount, the horse nuzzled the boy.
Ryan grinned at Cooper. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re a natural. I think what you’ve accomplished with her is amazing. Whether you win this competition or not, you’ve more than surpassed what you set out to do. She’s all the better for it.”
Ryan stroked Kholá’s nose. “I knew she was the one, from the first time I saw her online. I’ve, um... decided not to enter the competition though.”
“ What? ” Cooper couldn’t believe it. “Why not?”
The boy tucked the filly’s head against his chest. “Because I think she can win. I think she will win. The winner gets prize money and then the horse is auctioned off. That’s how they do it. It could be for a lot of money. Could even pay for my college. But I don’t even care. I’ve decided. I’m never selling her. Ever. I’ll earn money to pay Uncle Liam back for her next summer. I mean look at her. She did all this for me. This is the least I can do for her.”
Giving a rescue horse a forever home was no small thing. “Wow. That’s a big decision. A hard one. Kinda proud of you for making it, Ry. She’s maybe your first true love, this horse.”
Ryan blushed a little but nodded. He watched him out of the corner of his eye for a long beat before he spoke again. “So, is that how you feel about my mom?”
“What?” Caught off guard, Cooper took a step back from the fence. “What makes you say that?”
He shrugged. “I saw you making out with her behind the barn last week.”
“We weren’t—” Cooper slammed his eyes shut. They’d tried to be so careful. He swallowed hard, not wanting to mess this up. And opening up to Ryan might mess things up badly. “I—Uh...”
“I see the way you look at her. And she’s into you. And I don’t want to know any more about it. But you know, she doesn’t want me to know for other reasons. Because she thinks I’m still a kid and I can’t handle it. But I’m not a kid anymore. I know things.”
“I—” Cooper forced himself to meet Ryan’s eyes. “I care about your mom. You’re right about that.”
Ryan looked almost relieved at Cooper’s admission. He stroked his filly’s neck. “She thinks I’m always going to be here, but maybe I won’t, you know? Someday, I might go away to school or another town or something and then she’ll be alone. With just the family. I don’t want her to be alone. She always thinks it’s better if it’s just the two of us, but it’s not really. I mean, I used to think so, but now I’m so busy and I think she’s just been lonely. And she seems happier lately. I think that’s your fault. In a good way, I mean.”
He hadn’t given Ryan enough credit. Not by a long shot. “Your life, kid, is gonna be great. And your mom’s life, too. Whatever she decides about her own happiness, about her own path, is hers to choose. You can’t choose that for her. Neither can I. But I want her to be happy as well. We just always want that for the people we love. Like you with Kholá. But her protecting you is what moms do. And that’s because she loves you first and more than anything.”
“But do you love her?” he pressed.
Cooper had almost forgotten how it felt to be fourteen and filled with wild optimism. With hope. To have everything show up in complete colors instead of shades of gray. But with a silent nod, he admitted it to Ryan. Because to say those words aloud before even saying them to her felt impossible.
So, he simply nodded. “But let’s keep this conversation between us, okay, Ry?”
At five nine, Ryan was already man-sized and still growing with that boyishness that reminded Cooper he had years to go before he fulfilled that potential. But Ry seemed to gather himself up with the responsibility of this private, very adult sharing with Cooper. And Cooper trusted him.
But even so, there was no keeping their secret forever. Or even much longer. If Ryan knew, maybe it was time to stop pretending.
*
The autumn festival in Marietta had gotten under way and the Hardesty clan was going en masse except for Liam, who had decided to stay behind to finish up the shelving in the new office upstairs. Even Ray, who had been undergoing a series of infusion treatments at the hospital for his cancer was feeling well enough to go.
“You sure you’re okay to walk around all night?” Cooper asked him. “We could rent you a wheelchair.”
“God, no,” Ray said proudly. “Anyway, I told Sarah I’d win her a prize tonight and I mean to do it. On my own two feet.”
“A prize, huh? What kind of a prize would that be?”
Ray laughed and blushed a little. “Don’t get smart. Anyway, Sarah’s got standards. It’s gotta be a substantial stuffed animal from a legitimate game and preferably a horse.”
“Oh, making demands, is she? That’s progress.”
“She’s a woman who knows her own mind.” A grin tipped his father’s mouth against his will. “Like her daughter. Progress on two fronts I’d venture to say.”
Cooper pulled on a down vest over his flannel shirt without comment.
Ray grinned and called Poppy over, and both puppies came wagging over to him. Ray bent to pick up the two of them who licked his face enthusiastically. The pups had been his saving grace the last few weeks, keeping him distracted from his treatments and cheering him up.
Ray put the dogs down as he gave Pippa a kiss on the top of her furry little head. “I’m gonna take these two out before we go. I’ll keep my ideas between me and the dogs. If that’s okay with you.”
“Yeah. That works.”
Cooper should have known he couldn’t hide what was happening between him and Shay from his dad. As he was gathering up his phone and wallet, the phone rang. Cooper answered it.
“This is Dominick Braehill over with the sheriff’s office.”
Surprised, Cooper shifted the phone to his other ear. “Yeah, Deputy. What can I do for you?”
“Well, I called you instead of contacting the Hardestys first because I thought maybe this information might be more pertinent or... to be more specific, of interest to you and your father.”
“Information?”
“Seems we got a match on the fingerprints I took at the break-in at the Hard Eight a couple weeks back. It didn’t come through initially on IAFUS as matching any known criminals in the database. But on a hunch, I expanded the search to cold cases in the central Montana area, and you’re not gonna believe what I found.”
His pulse kicked up a notch. “Please. Don’t keep me in suspense.”
“Those fingerprints in their barn, the fresh ones? Well, it’s impossible, you see, but they belong to a dead man.”