Chapter Eleven #2
Because love was such a powerful thing. It worked its way right into the cracks of a man’s soul. And there were a lot of cracks
in his.
He had done things in the name of love that had devastating consequences, and he just would never put himself in that situation
again. He would never put anybody around him in that situation again.
“At a certain point, I start to question how much of a martyr you can possibly be.”
“A pretty fucking big one, Landry.”
His brother chuckled. Finally, there was enough coffee in the pot to make a mug, and he yanked it out from under the spout,
and poured a measure of it, lifting it to his lips and giving thanks.
“Landry,” he said. “I’m really proud of you. And how far you’ve come. But you know . . . You know it’s not simple. Think of
everything that you and Fia went through before you were actually able to . . . find each other.”
“Our problem was that we fell in love when we were kids,” said Landry.
“We didn’t handle what was happening between us well because we didn’t know how to do anything yet.
She was sixteen when she got pregnant with Lila.
” Landry paused for a long moment. “I have years of regret, Denver. You don’t need to remind me. ”
Denver felt an unfamiliar twist in his gut. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.”
“You don’t have to feel bad about it. I’m just saying, I’m very aware of all of my shortcomings. But the point is that I got
over them. The point is that I’m not the same kid that got his girlfriend pregnant, and handled it like an ass. The point
is, you can change. You can move on from the dumb bullshit that you’ve done. You can have the life that you want.”
And it was so complicated he didn’t quite know how to articulate it. To him or to himself.
“This is the life that I want.” That was the simplest way to say it. Because he had what he wanted. He wasn’t doing any harm,
and he wasn’t . . . Yeah. He couldn’t ask for more than that.
He pounded down the coffee. “Let’s get to work,” he said.
He worked until he was cross-eyed. He was ready to fall over where he stood. But he still needed to go check on Sheena and
the work out at the axe throwing bar.
He had to wonder how that was going to look. If things were going to be exactly the same between them or if they were going
to be different.
He had hooked up plenty of times, but he hadn’t had to deal with the woman the next day in a totally different context.
He drove his truck over to the gaming hall, and saw that all the construction gear was gone, but her car was still there.
But when he walked inside, she wasn’t anywhere to be seen.
For some reason, that caused his heart rate to pick up.
For God’s sake, what had she done to him?
He looked all around, noticed that the place was clean, looking more put together.
There were some walls that were ripped out, too, but the progress was obvious.
Still, no Sheena.
He walked outside and listened. He didn’t hear anything but the sound of birds.
It was getting cold. But then, it was nigh unto December, and cold was to be expected. So her being outside would be a strange
thing, but Sheena was her own thing. So he couldn’t discount it.
He found himself walking down a path behind the building, and he wasn’t sure if he had a feeling that she was back there,
or if he was just walking.
He didn’t do it often enough.
The trees were thick here in this part of the property, the forest floor soft, covered in pine needles. The pale sun filtered
through the trees, casting eerie shadows all around.
He came up over a rise, and that was where he saw her. Standing on a fallen log covered in moss. She was wearing a dress that
the sunbeams rendered completely see-through, shafts of light pouring through the gaps in the trees in the shape of a star.
Her head was tilted back, her dark hair streaming over her back.
She took his breath away. She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
He wasn’t going to touch her again. He’d already decided that. Because like she’d said last night, they both knew the deal.
He didn’t really want to touch her right now anyway. He just wanted to look at her. It made his chest ache. To see her like
this. Free. Unencumbered.
Bathed in sunlight.
Her life had had enough of these moments. She deserved them all.
She turned sharply, like she had just suddenly realized that he was there.
She breathed out hard, her breath a cloud in the cold air.
Now the sun made a halo around her hair, and he was undone.
“Come to check on my work?”
“Yeah,” he said.
He didn’t believe in magic. He never had. But right now if someone had told him she’d put him under a spell, he’d agree with
them, no question.
“No,” he said. “I mean . . . I don’t want to interrupt you. We don’t need to go over everything today.”
“Don’t be nice to me just because we had sex,” she said.
The words were like a punch to his gut. “I’m not.”
“Liar.”
“Have it your way, then, don’t let me disturb your forest bathing.”
She laughed. “I had no idea that you would even have heard the term forest bathing.”
“I’m very learned,” he said.
“About forest bathing and Disneyland. But not the Internet.”
“Everybody else knows about the Internet. Why do I need to carry that information around? All I had to do was ask you, and
you had the answer.”
“I won’t always be around,” she said.
She was teasing, but the words hit him in a strange, low place. “Right. But there is one thing I know how to do on the Internet.
And that is how to use a search engine. So, the Internet can just answer all my questions about it.”
She shook her head. “Great.”
“It’s pretty out here,” he said, looking past her.
“It is,” she said. “How is everything going for the Christmas party?”
“Good,” he said. “Trying to figure out exactly what to do with the food. And how I’m going to position everything in the barn.”
“I’ll tell you what,” she said. “Feel free to check my work really quick. But . . . why don’t we head back and take a look
at your project.”
He shouldn’t say yes. She had enough on her plate. But he found he wanted to ask her opinion about his ideas. So he found
himself saying yes.