Charisma #3
He was doing it again. Acting like I couldn’t handle my business myself.
I’d only sent a brief message out to let him know I’d gotten a job and to call me when he had a chance.
Trent had given the message a thumbs up and never said shit back.
But now he was acting as though he would’ve stepped up instead of Nate.
My problem was, if he was willing to help, why didn’t he do so without me having to ask?
“I didn’t want to ask anyone for money; that was the entire point of me moving.
” I needed off this phone. I wanted to enjoy the big basket that Mrs. Maureen had given me and relax after working today.
The tension in my body was foreign. I tried not to allow myself to get stressed but Trent was taking me to a place of anger I rarely went.
“But you’ll take it from him?”
“I work for him!”
“Even more reason that you sitting here talking about him like he created heaven and earth wouldn’t work. You’d risk your job for some dick? Make that shit make sense. You did all of this just to erase the stigma that you had in college but now you’re falling right back into old habits.”
That stung. It always did when he tried to throw up in my face the rumors that made my last two years of college hell.
I’d turned into a recluse and as a result I’d graduated with excellent grades.
But the rumors prevented me from pledging the sorority I’d had my heart set on since I was a kid.
All of that free time allowed me to rediscover my love of art.
I’d travel to shows to see exhibits and I had dozens of sketchbooks filled with my drawings over the years.
It allowed me to hone in on which mediums I liked working with and what my actual style was.
“That was a shitty thing to say.” My voice was shaky and I felt the tears threatening to fall as that feeling of being an outcast roared back.
“I know that you’re not that type of chick, but you’re sitting here being dick dumb for a man you’ve known, what? A month? I didn’t think you’d be that na?ve behind a man. Not after the last time.”
I blew out a breath as the tears won the battle and fell down my cheeks. “Well, you’re doing everything you can to make me regret picking up this phone and calling you.”
“I’m trying to be a friend.” No remorse and not an ounce of fucks to give about hurting my feelings.
“No you’re not. Because friends don’t talk to each other that way. You’re trying to be controlling. I might be a whimsical bitch but you could never call me a dumb one.”
“Cha—”
“Nope. I’m done with this conversation. You need to understand something, Trent. Just like you think I need you, you need me just as badly. Watch how you fucking talk to me from now on.”
I hung up before he could speak because now I was fuming with the way he’d spoken to me.
I needed to shake off the irritation that I was feeling.
I’d thought I could talk to my so-called friend about the man who’d gotten my attention.
I’d told Trent on multiple occasions that I didn’t have an issue hearing about the men he dated since our relationship was platonic.
But he never had. I didn’t think that my doing it would have him up in arms to this extent.
I understood that a lot was riding on me not fucking up.
Trent was part of a very traditional Southern Baptist family and their only son not living by their rules wasn’t something they would tolerate.
Not only would he be disowned but they had the type of pull that would prevent him from getting a position that paid as well as the one he had now.
He worked for their family’s investment business and my dad had multiple accounts with them.
I lay back on the pillows looking at the aged beams that held up the roof.
I thought of the quote that was falsely attributed to Harriet Tubman.
How she said she could’ve freed so many more souls if only they knew they were slaves.
While she didn’t say it, I understood the sentiment behind it.
People now, more than back then, trapped themselves in prisons of their own minds.
It was easy for someone like me who constantly bucked the system not to stay in the trap.
I was only currently tethered because I was trying to be a good friend.
But Trent was willfully tethered. He valued his standing in the community and his ability to bilk his parents for their money as enough reason to not fully be himself.
I’d had moments where I conformed but I always had an escape route.
My situation wasn’t nearly as complex as his but I refused to let anyone dictate what I had going on in my life for too long.
Now that I’d had a taste of freedom there was no going back.
The way he tried to shame me on the phone threw me off.
I understood I’d completely disrupted his day but I thought, just for a second, he’d be happy for me.
But I could see that his selfishness was going to far outweigh any friendship we had.
And I needed to determine how I was going to move forward with him now that his true feelings were out in the open.
I didn’t want to risk my friend or put him in any danger but was I willing to live in the shadows with him so unfulfilled when I had a man waiting for me among the sunshine and clouds ready to sweep me off my feet?