Charisma
NATE WAS GOING to be pissed off.
But right now I couldn’t be too angry about it.
He was going to be mad anyway but I was tired of putting up with Trent and needed to get him away from here before he ruined a perfectly good trip.
My parents and Mrs. Maureen and Mr. Noah were out doing older people’s stuff.
They wanted to show them around and I think she knew I wanted to get this done.
Despite this day being about Yzzy and Sampson, Yzzy had talked to me about Trent.
Well, at first, she wanted to warn me that Billy was about to chop him in the throat.
I would’ve been right there helping her because he was on my last nerve.
All night at dinner he’d been trying to act as though we were a couple and attempted to be affectionate, which is something we’d never done with one another.
It made me even more uncomfortable because he was trying to force it, knowing that I was with Nate.
Yzzy’s advice was for me to do whatever was going to make me happy.
It was like she could tell I was just trying to keep the peace and she didn’t want me to do it on her account.
When Nate and Samp said they needed to head out I had a weird feeling in my chest. It was supposedly ranch business but that could’ve been any number of things with Bucky.
Instead of sitting around and waiting, I took the reins of my life and had good news for Nate when he got back.
I didn’t want my parents to think I was a liar and frankly I was too old to be keeping secrets.
Trent was aggravating and I’d rather spend time with my family and Nate in the right capacity than what we’d been doing.
He would get angry but he’d get over it.
I knew I didn’t have much time so when the doorbell to the cottage rang I was quick to get it open. Speaking to Trent was going to be the easiest part of this weekend and the harder conversation needed to be had before Nate got done with his business.
Despite ignoring him for the last few days except for dinner, Trent had directed his anger at Nate.
He seemed too happy to be rude and directed it toward Nate because he knew I had feelings for him.
It was yet another strike against him. Even my parents were wondering where their sweet Trent had gone because he was being an asshole.
“Hey, is it okay if I come in?” Trent extended flowers toward me and I took them somewhat reluctantly. I didn’t want a peace offering. He should’ve started this conversation with an apology and I knew this was just foreshadowing some bullshit for later.
“Thanks. And yeah, you can come in. It’s too hot to talk on the porch.” I walked into the house and put the flowers on the countertop. They weren’t going in a vase and I was sure that Nate would probably let Riot or Pistol take a shit on them before he let them be displayed in the house.
“Your bodyguard here?” He walked in with the same outfit he’d had on earlier and glanced around like he expected Nate to materialize from the wall.
I folded my arms in front of me and leaned against the counter because I was ready for him to leave. “Don’t do that, Trent. The last thing you’re going to do is talk bad about that man like he’s done something wrong to you.”
Trent didn’t wait for me to invite him to sit. He plopped down on the sofa and did that manspreading bullshit that guys did to take up space and look broader than they were. “He has.”
“What?”
“He’s changing you.” He leaned forward and balanced on his knees and I could see the way he was trying to manipulate me.
I’d thought he might try to do something like guilt trip me.
But coming at me like I was stupid enough to fall for this he’s changing you bullshit was insulting.
I could only blame myself since I’d been helping him live this lie for years.
I worked my jaw back and forth finding the patience to not cuss him out and keep my cool. I was done letting him suck anymore energy out of me than he already had.
“You can’t be serious about this, Trent.”
He looked up, and when he realized I was unmoved his face hardened. “About what? You need to admit that you’ve changed completely since you got here, Charisma. Your attitude is always on ten, you would’ve never thought to abandon our deal before but now it’s nothing to you.”
I nodded taking in exactly what he was saying and I found it wild he didn’t hear how damn selfish he sounded. “So this is about you again I see.”
He waved me off leaning back into the sofa dismissively. “Stop trying to make me out to be the bad guy just because I’m calling you out on stuff.”
“Have you ever thought that the person I am here is because I’m finally happy? That I’m free from everything back home that was holding me back?”
“Free from what? You act like you’re fresh out of prison or something. At least your being dramatic is still consistent.”
I chuckled under my breath and realized all of this was pointless. My first conversation should’ve been with my parents and whatever happened with Trent was on him. Attempting to be a decent person and give him closure was only causing me aggravation.
“That’s the stuff I’m talking about, Trent. You speak to me like I’m bothering you. Like you have to lead me or hold my hand through life. We’re damn near the same age. This situation lasted longer than I expected but I can’t help that things are different now.”
We had a silent standoff, neither of us looking away as my words lingered in the air. I didn’t care what anyone thought. Even if I wasn’t with Nate, pretending in this relationship with Trent wasn’t ever happening again.
He finally relented and looked down at his hands as he spoke. “I’ve been thinking.”
“About what?”
“About this situation we find ourselves in right now. It’s no longer serving me.”
I almost wanted to shout for joy at him giving me a way to walk away from this without feeling bad. Instead of jumping forward without knowing how he truly felt, I kept my thoughts to myself.
“Serving you. That’s an odd choice of words no matter how accurate it is.”
He let frustration at my calling him on his shit keep him from fully selling the emotionally vulnerable act he was trying to portray. “You know what I’m trying to say.”
“That’s an assumption on your part but I’m listening so you can clear up any confusion.”
“I think that… I think that we should take our relationship to another level.”
My throat damn near closed up at his words because I couldn’t understand why this was the approach he was taking. He couldn’t mean what the fuck he was saying. Not in the way I took it.
“What does to another level mean to you?”
“I think that we should have sex.”
I couldn’t help my natural reaction to his foolishness, and I laughed.
In his face because there was no way his ass was being serious right now.
I thought he would start laughing or at least crack a smile and join in with me.
Instead, he stood stone faced, waiting for me to sober up.
His lack of joy was enough to take the smile off my face quickly.
“Wait a second, you’re not serious are you?”
“I am. Carrie—”
I rolled my eyes at the name he felt was more appropriate than the one my parents gave me. It was strange how when we were friends he had no problem with me, but since he was living inside a rigid box he felt the need to put me in one as well.
“Please don’t call me that. You know I hate when you do that with my name.”
He frowned and I already knew where his mind had gone. “But he calls you a nickname and you think it’s the cutest shit in the world. This is part of the issue now. There’s no give and take with us.”
“Yeah, because none of this is real and I’m not about to let anyone play with my name!”
“You let him do it.”
Trent’s tone was so immature it made my stomach hurt.
“You sound like a child tattling on another. Please be so for real right now. He can call me Charmy because I like it. So just because you think Charisma is too ghetto you don’t get to unilaterally decide that my name isn’t good enough.
If I liked Carrie, I’d be cool, but I don’t.
I love Charmy and I love Charisma so don’t push it.
We had this conversation about my dislike of that nickname plenty of times before and yet you still insist on doing what you want. ”
His jaw clenched as he bit back whatever smart remark he wanted to make. “Fine, are you done?”
“No, I’m not. I like who I am. I like my name because it fits me. I’m bright and charismatic and charming. I’m not ghetto and I’m not loose. And in saying that, I’m not about to have sex with a man on his whim when I don’t have an emotional connection to him like that.”
“Oh, we don’t have an emotional connection now? We’ve been friends for over ten years!” Trent had the nerve to raise his fucking voice at me and I was about to say to hell with this conversation.
I squeezed my scalp through my fro because this dense act that Trent was attempting to portray was old. “You stopped being my friend a long time ago and you know it.”
“You had no problem bustin’ it for that ballplayer who knocked you up in college.”
It didn’t hurt that he threw that in my face because I wasn’t ashamed of what I’d done.
“You’re right. I did. Because the emotions were there even if they were infatuation and curiosity about what sex was all about.
I was smitten and he was someone I thought was a good guy.
Sadly, he proved me wrong. I’m not going to let a moment in my life that taught me to expect more for myself from others guide my decision to give into you. That would just be stupid.”
“You seem entirely too comfortable telling me no.”
His phrasing was odd, almost threatening, and any care I had for him evaporate.