CHAPTER 30
Billie
“Joanie’s inside. She’s still hiding from the world. If I didn’t have work, I’d do the same.” I slowly rocked on my porch and sighed into the phone. “Are you going to the Doll’s Club meeting tomorrow?”
Eve groaned. “I don’t know. I’m not feeling very social.”
“I think I’m going to skip it and just get the rundown from Joanie. After having a battle with men in my personal life, I’ve lost the fight for the big battle. I’ll show up if the stupid thing ever happens, but I’m just too tired to give a hundred percent.”
“Same. Grandpa’s driving me crazy and my neighbors…” She grunted. “I think I want to murder them.”
I glanced up at the main house and snorted. “Yeah, I feel that.”
“We’re both terrible company right now, aren’t we?” She sighed even louder than I had. “Oh, I forgot to mention that Brad asked about you when I saw him yesterday.”
I winced. “He left me a message but I’ve been in such a bad mood I never got back to him.”
“Maybe you should.” She paused and then rushed on. “You should definitely call him. He could be a good distraction. You could get laid and forget about your bosses for a while.”
The idea did nothing for me. “I’m not feeling it. I wish I was.”
“I tried.” She groaned and lowered her voice suddenly. “I have to go. My neighbors are home and I don’t want them to hear me. I can’t face them right now.”
My attention had already been snagged by something on the balcony of the main house anyway so I mumbled a goodbye and sank lower in my rocking chair in an attempt to stay hidden. I hadn’t turned the porch light on before coming out, so I was mostly hidden in the shadows. The middle room’s light had come on and the door had opened. As I watched, the guys came out onto the balcony with a woman, a very beautiful woman from what I could tell. They laughed at something she said and Gray put his arm around her shoulders.
It was starting again, their nearly nightly tryst with different women. Worse even, they were flaunting it. They’d never spent time on the balcony with the women before. It was always straight to the bedroom.
As the sounds of their muffled voices and laughter drifted over to me, I felt my heart ache painfully. I didn’t know what I’d been expecting. Maybe just because they’d taken my virginity, I was stupid enough to get attached to them. I didn’t want them after everything, but a part of me had. It was embarrassing to admit it, even to myself, especially in the face of them connecting with another woman right in front of me.
Tears threatened to fall but I bit my lip until the burning behind my eyes faded. I wasn’t going to cry over them. I refused. I’d spent too much time focused on them. If they could move on from whatever mess we’d had, I could, too.
I opened my phone and hesitated. Calling Brad over was irrational. It wasn’t—Owen leaned over and kissed the top of the woman’s head. It was such an intimate and caring gesture that I knew the woman meant more to them than the others, more to them than me. I hit call on Brad’s contact and bounced my leg while I waited for him to answer.
“Billie! Hey. I was hoping you’d call back.” Brad’s confident voice didn’t ignite flames in my lower stomach, but maybe I just hadn’t tried hard enough.
“Do you want to come over?” I recognized that my voice sounded a little manic, so I tried again. “I have company inside so we’d have to stay on the porch, but it’s a nice night…”
“It’s a little late for a social call, isn’t it?” He sounded like he was smiling. “Should I bring anything?”
On the balcony, Gray held the woman even closer. “Um…Bring whatever you think we might need.”
Brad laughed and then cleared his throat. “Got it. I’ll be there in twenty.”
I hung up and went inside to get ready. My hands shook and my stomach turned as I fluffed my hair and put on makeup. My brain was screaming at me I was making a mistake, that I didn’t want Brad, but my heart hurt so badly that I wanted to crush it. I dressed in just a long t-shirt and nothing else, figuring I’d make it easy.
I made sure Joanie was asleep and then I snuck out onto the porch again. I turned the light on that time and the reason why made me feel even worse. I wanted the guys to know I wasn’t crying over them. They moved on, I moved on. That was all there was to it.
As I sat and waited, I told myself I’d once had a huge thing for Brad. I had wanted to lose my virginity to him at a different time of my life. Being with him would be good. I needed to do it. I needed to—
Truck lights came up the drive and my stomach dropped. I couldn’t look up at the balcony. Fear and nerves had taken over. I swallowed and nearly choked when Brad got out of his truck and walked up to the porch.
“Hey, Billie.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “You look beautiful.”
I forced a smile and motioned for him to sit down. “Sorry to call you so late.”
“Billie, if this is what I think it is, you don’t need to apologize.” He looked around and I saw his eyes catch on the balcony before they moved back to me. “Is it what I think it is?”
My mouth was suddenly so dry that my tongue felt like sandpaper. I felt my face go hot and crossed my legs just to uncross them. “Yes?”
Brad looked down at his feet and sighed. “I haven’t been around you for a long time, Billie, but I knew you pretty well at one point of our lives. You didn’t call me over for sex.”
Tears filled my eyes and I looked away, ashamed of myself. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Judging from our previous interactions with your bosses, I’m guessing you had something with them. Judging by your facial expressions, your calling me over, and that woman up there with your bosses, I’m guessing you don’t anymore.” He saw my small nod and stood up. “Come here, Billie.”
I jerked my gaze up to his and stood up, confused. “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve—”
He pulled me into his chest and kissed me. He kept his tongue to himself, thankfully, but he managed to turn me around and back me into the porch railing in my shock. When he pulled away, he kept his mouth close to mine. “That kiss was for me showing up here with a dream and a box of condoms. I deserved it. Wrap your arms around my neck.”
I stammered. “Brad…I don’t—”
He gripped my waist and lifted me onto the railing. “I know you don’t. I’d better get into heaven for this. I’m helping. You’re not just going to sit here, watching them like a sad little kitten. You’re going to show them that you aren’t bothered. Now, wrap your arms and legs around me and pretend like you want this.”
I melted into him and hugged him tight. “You deserve the world.”
“I’m not getting nothing from this, babe. I just saw you’re not wearing panties and I’ll take that image with me to the grave.” He laughed at my shocked expression and cupped my face. “How loud are you during sex normally?”
I almost shoved him away and ran inside to hide forever. While trying to hide my bare underparts from him, I had to clear my throat to answer him. “Um…I don’t know. Louder?”
“Then moan for me.” He glanced over my shoulder and gave a low whistle. “Actually, don’t. I don’t want to die.”
I started to look back at the balcony but he caught my face and kissed the corner of my mouth. I was sure it looked like we were going at it if the guys did glance down at us. I was embarrassed, but I wanted to hurt them. “No way I was going to moan for you, anyway. Sorry.”
“You owe me for this. I hope you know that.” He ran his hands down my back and cupped my ass. “Actually, call us even. I’m going to carry you inside now. Let them think whatever they want about what happens next. But since I’m pretty sure they’re on their way over here, I’m sneaking out the window and getting out of here as soon as we get inside. Since you’re not interested in putting out, I’m going to head to Jack’s and the last thing I need is a bloody face.”
I gasped when he picked me up and glared down at him when he slapped my ass. “I know I’m using you and that I’m an ass for calling you over here, but that doesn’t mean you get to spank me.”
He spoke way louder than I would’ve liked. “Oh, you want me to spank you, baby?”
“I’m going to murder you.” I winced as he kicked the door shut behind us and locked it. “Don’t wake Joanie up.”
He dropped me immediately and gave me a quick hug. “I’m going. If they ever get over this, call me. I could still use a job. I heard your farrier quit. I’ve got some training if you need someone.”
“I took over, actually.” I waited for him to laugh but when I looked up at him, he just nodded.
“Makes sense. Still. Call me if you want to hang out. It doesn’t have to be for sex. Unless you want it to be.” He backed towards my room. “I’m going out your window now. I’m betting they’re going to be here in just a few…”
A loud knock on the door behind my head made me scream.
“Billie?!”