Chapter 4
FOUR
LANCE
I’m not sure why I can’t stop thinking about Katherine Pearson, but here I am in broad daylight, thinking of the woman I kissed last night.
The memory of her soft lips against mine makes my body react in a way that it hasn’t in a while. And it kind of terrifies me.
I haven’t slept with someone in a hot minute and that’s new for me and my playboy reputation. I simply had better things to focus on last summer than to chase women.
While out at the stables tending to the horses, my phone buzzes from my back pocket.
This ranch was my dad’s before he passed, and while I’d like to say it’s one of the best in Alpine Ridge, it’s not even on the map. It’s not a place people willingly go to or know about.
It’s just a rundown place that had potential before my dad’s alcoholism took over in his late twenties. My mom tried to take care of it, but overcome with grief, she’s been holed up in the cottage up the hill about a mile away. So in turn, I care for the ranch just for her.
Lainey
Hey stud
I chuckle before thinking of a response. I honestly forgot that Lainey and I exchanged numbers. As pretty and talented as she is, I see her as more of a sibling than anything. Or even a best friend. And those are some that I rarely have.
Me
What’s up superstar
Lainey
Coming over tonight?
She’s talking about the live music tonight at The Lost Cowboy .
I fire back a response while I mix the feed for the five horses. It’s a tedious task with how old the horses are, but I cherish them. One of the horses, Hershey, was from when I turned eighteen and my mom found him getting ready for the slaughterhouse auction a few towns over.
He was in pretty bad shape, so my mom begged my dad to bring him home. My dad could never say no to her, but he couldn’t ever say no to the liquor so I’m not sure how much that truth holds up.
He coined the cute name not just because of his rich brown coat, but when he initially came to the stables, it was past Halloween, and he found a bag full of Hershey’s in the stall that my parents would end up putting him in. Since he was so emaciated from his previous owners, he took one good look at the bag of my hidden stash and swallowed it whole; bag and all. It was quite an expensive vet visit, but he made it through and he’s been living his best life since.
Me
Of course. Can’t wait to tell you to break a leg.
Lainey
fuck you!!
Me
I laugh before putting my phone away and grabbing as many pails as I can, heading to each horse’s stable. Majority of them are munching on hay as I make my way into their area and drop off the feed, but when I get to Hershey’s, he’s looking at me with his sad old man eyes.
There isn’t much time left for him on Earth, so I try to make it the best it can be. I don’t ride him anymore and I let him live out on the pasture for as long as he can take it. He’s a spoiled horse too, getting all the blankets during the winter time.
He’s also one of the horses that I don’t need to use a halter and lead rope. He’s so well behaved and timid that he walks wherever I go and answers when I call for him. And right now, he’s eying the pail of feed.
“You’re starving, huh?” I joke as I push my way into his stall and rub his muzzle. He leans into my touch while I put his pail down. I take my time in his stall, longer than the other ones, just touching him and running my hands through his mane.
He’s a beautiful quarter horse that apparently won many races in his younger days until he was used so much that his legs gave out one race.
It showed me the true heart of my mother when she finally got the courage to tell me Hershey’s story. She couldn’t bear to tell me the moment she gifted me him, but it was when I was around twenty years old when she sat me down after I noticed Hershey limping one day out on the pasture.
She’s the reason why I stay in Alpine Ridge, to be honest. A good woman who loved her husband even when he chose the bottle over her most days. She loved me until she knew I was able to love myself, and because of that, I’ll never leave this town if she’s still in it.
As much as I have those days where I feel like I no longer belong in Alpine Ridge, she keeps me planted here. My roots are in this small town.
Hershey neighs and brings me out of my thoughts, so I smooth my palm over his body once more before he rubs his head against my shoulder and then chest. He’s my baby, as big as he is; I’d do anything for this old man.
“Eat, you need it. I added some carrots to the mix,” I tell him softly while patting his cheek. He huffs before motioning his head as if he’s nodding. He leans down and starts munching on the feed that will give him all the nutrients that hay doesn’t.
As I make my way out of the stables, I look up at the sky and see the sunrise starting to rise even further up bringing the most beautiful glow against the hills and faint mountains. I’ve never been up to the Smoky Mountains, despite being so close. Just never had a reason to.
I add that to a mental bucket list of places to go to, even if it’s for a weekend getaway, but with who? I’m not sure.
That’s when the silliest idea sprouts into my mind, into the crevices of my well-shelled and protected heart.
The idea of getting to know the girl I’ve known my whole life, yet I barely know a thing about her. Getting to know her so well that she helps me scratch off a few things from my bucket list.
It warms my heart in a way I haven’t felt in a while. And I really like it.
I continue to look at the sunrise, imagining a world where I truly do stay in Alpine Ridge and don’t run away just because things might get hard.
Mom’s house is quiet as I shuffle inside, kicking off my boots and placing them perfectly next to her shoes near the door. There’s a faint glow down the hallway—she doesn’t like to keep tons of lights on, yet even when it’s as bright as it is today, she likes to keep the majority of the curtains closed.
“Ma? You in the living room?” I ask, heading down the hall.
She’s sitting with needles and a ball of yarn, knitting her next big project. Presumably, Christmas presents for the grandkids.
My brother, Knox King, lives in Colorado with his wife who he met in college. He’s five years older than me and got out of this town as soon as he could. I was surprised he didn’t try to leave when he was in high school.
He’s got three beautiful children that I see every other Christmas. Since his wife, Stella, is from Florida, they try to go see her family there as well.
“I think Oppy will like this sweater,” Ma says, holding up the small bunch of knitted yarn. I can’t see the pattern yet, but I trust her. She’s got a knack for knitting and everything she touches turns to gold. She mentioned wanting to also crochet some things, but I guess she chose knitting this go around.
I have a whole drawer full of socks and sweaters that she’s made for me. Even an ugly Christmas sweater where there’s a reindeer holding Santa bridal style. It’s goofy and I still have no idea how the hell she knitted that, let alone got the idea for it. It’s become a crowd favorite though anytime I wear it out in public.
“She loves everything you make,” I agree, sitting down on the loveseat across from her.
She puts her needles down on her lap and looks up. Her black hair is up in a bun, but I can see some of the gray hairs peeking through. She’s probably got an appointment at the salon soon, that’s one of the things she refuses to give up. Says she feels younger when she gets her hair done. Dad used to take her to the appointments until he couldn’t physically. Bed ridden from a bad liver will do that to ya.
“I might make some winter hats this time for the boys.” She nods, looking out the massive window that has its curtains drawn. I get up quickly to open it up and the light immediately soaks the room in warmth. The front yard has some lights around the trees for the holiday. There are some decorations as well on the porch that I helped pick out a few weeks ago, though I have yet to put them up for her. I make a quick mental note to do it before Christmas arrives.
“They’ll love it,” I tell her, finally. She’s still staring outside when I settle back down on the loveseat.
“Hershey still doing good?”
I nod. “He’s getting older, but acts like a foal sometimes. Still likes to push his head against my chest like he used to all those years ago.”
This brings a smile to her face. Hershey was undeniably her favorite of the bunch. Even out of the ones they’ve rescued before Hershey, so that’s saying a lot.
“Good. That’s good,” she says softly. “I got a call from Poppy Lowry.”
Birdy’s mom. That’s odd. “What did she want?” I ask, irritated.
“Oh, calm down, Lance. She just wanted to ask if I was going to the big Christmas party at Stone Vineyard next Saturday.”
“And are you?”
She nods. “Told her that you’d be there too. Asked why Birdy hasn’t reached out to you yet about it.”
I shrug. “Birdy and I are acquaintances to say the least.” Memories of this past summer surface. The fair, and how I was clearly too in my head, trying to flirt with a woman who didn’t want anything to do with me.
There have been times where I wanted to call her up to apologize for how I acted this summer, but never did. She’s with Steve now, so it doesn’t matter anymore.
Bennett comes to mind and then Katherine, of course. They’ve been divorced for years, but it still feels odd not thinking of them as a pair.
It feels almost wrong thinking of the fact that I kissed Katherine last night. There’s a part of me that thinks Bennett will show up any second now to clock me in the jaw for kissing his wife. But he’s with Camilla now, and as far as I can tell, they’re the happiest couple here in Alpine Ridge.
Just another sad realization that people around me are moving on and I’m at a standstill. People are moving on, meeting new people, and making a new life with them. Even though they’re still rooted in this town, they’re making new memories.
I want that too.
“Well,” Ma starts, “I hope you’re able to make it. What plans do you have today?”
I think about my day. I usually tend to the ranch before working on other ranches or farms nearby. That’s my main job, at least—to make a living. With all my knowledge of ranching and tending to animals in all sizes, I’m able to help out either newer ranches or help long term ones. It pays really good money and it doesn’t feel like work.
But at the end of the day, it feels great to come home and tend to Hershey. I had to be honest with myself a long time ago that at this point, Hershey and I are a pair. We’re basically emotional support for each other.
Who the hell thought I’d have an emotional support horse? Not me, but here we are.
“I’ll be helping out the Jensens to tame a new horse. Reminds me a lot like Hershey and where he came from.”
Ma looks at me and a big smile comes to her face. “You’re a good man, Lance. I’m proud of how far you’ve come.”
This makes me emotional, as much as I hate to admit it. My throat tightens and I try to blink away the mist that starts to form in my eyes.
“Thanks, Ma. That means a lot.”
She hums in response before continuing on with her sweater. It’s quiet as we sit in the living room, basking in the warm sun that’s pouring through the windows. She continues to knit and I focus on the sounds of the metal needles clicking against one another.