Chapter 30
Maggie
“Um, no. Maybe I could have a quick rundown before we head out?” I pull a pleading face.
I’m talking to Kayley, looking at Kayley, but Hadley replies, “I can give you a rundown before we head out. Be up with the birds, though.”
“That would be great.” I give him a warm smile.
I want to be useful.
I genuinely want to help Hadley and his family. Who, even after a few short days, have grown on me exponentially.
“That’s settled, then. Anything else to note?” Hadley turns to his oldest sister like were in some business boardroom, not at a farmhouse dining table.
She meets his gaze. “Those mortgage payments are coming up again.”
The table goes silent. Hadley’s focus doesn’t leave his sister as she cuts her meat and looks back up at him. “Ignoring it doesn’t make it go away, Hads.”
“I know that.” His grip on his fork tightens.
“Yeah, well, with your salary, we should be able to cover them now,” Kayley continues.
“We will. I have it covered. Anything else?” His gaze snaps to Julie now.
“Oh, no. All good on the home front here.”
I have the sneaking suspicion that even if there was, she would keep it from her son to save him the worry. We finish dinner, chatting away about Nia’s college options, Gemma’s part-time job in town, and the fact that all men are garbage. Which sees Hadley raise an eyebrow at his little sister.
“Except for you, Hads, we love you. Don’t we, Maggie?” Nia turns to me.
My heart ratchets up pace as every person’s gaze swings to me expectantly. Everyone except Hadley. He either doesn’t want to hear it or won’t believe it if it was said.
Honestly, I don’t know where my heart is right now. On the scale of like and love, I’m leaning further toward the latter, but leaning is not there yet.
“Your brother is an exceptional human being, Nia. He’s my favorite cowboy.”
Her mouth gapes a little before she sits up taller. “I like that answer so much better than anything else you could have said.”
Kayley winks at me, and I feel the heat of a blush sear its way through my neck, climbing up my cheeks.
“Well, whatever you call it. We are glad to have you here, Maggie.” Julie grabs my hand and squeezes it.
“Thank you. I just want to be useful.”
“Oh, I’m sure you are many things, but you just being here is more than enough for us.” She gives me a smile that lights up her eyes before her gaze falls to her son.
“Well? Plates, people.” Kayley holds her hands out to take the finished plates.
“Here, let me help you.” I rise, taking my plate and Nia’s.
Kayley and I have the washing-up thing down pat by now, and she dries while I wash. The others make their way to the back porch to cook s’mores and count stars. It sounds lovely.
“Sorry about Nia, she’s a little extra sometimes.” Kayley gives me an apologetic smile.
“She’s wonderful.” I chuckle. “Just the right amount of extra.”
Kayley plucks a dish from the rack and rubs it dry with the tea towel. “She kind of put you on the spot before. Sorry about that.”
“It’s fine.” I start scrubbing the large cast iron pot Julie cooked the roast beef in. The damn stuff is stuck to the bottom. Tasted great, but this is going to take some elbow grease to clean the pot.
“I wa—” She starts. “Never mind, you guys will work it out.”
My guess is she’s talking about what lies between Hadley and me. The cowboy I didn’t see coming.
The one who’s the complete opposite of everything I’ve grown up thinking a rodeo man was. A cowboy was.
He’s not selfish like my father was.
He’s not single-minded and obsessed with winning.
The money he is earning for his family, not himself.
To save his ranch that, by the sounds of it, is in desperate need of a cash injection.
“. . . aggie?”
I shake my head, my hands covered in hot bubbles coming into focus.
“Sorry, what?”
“Home time,” Hadley’s voice comes from behind me to the right.
I turn to find him leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed, a lazy smile tipping his mouth up.
Kayley gives my shoulder a squeeze as she says goodnight and disappears into the living room.
“Bright and early, Kales. You staying over?” Hadley leans back, talking to his sister who is in the process of getting her grumbling little sister to make room on the sofa.
“Yep. Sparrow fart, brother.”
I huff a laugh and dry my hands before walking to where Hadley stands. “Night, all.”
“Night, Maggie,” I get in return from the four women, now sitting in their spots, busy watching. Julie is crafting something in her hands.
An arm slides around my waist as I’m waving, tugging me back down the hallway. The second we make it to the truck, a warm hand finds my face. A thumb ghosts over my bottom lip. “Longest dinner in the history of mankind,” he growls, brushing his lips over my own.
“Home, Hads.”
He releases me and fires up the truck, eyes not leaving mine.
“Home, Sunshine.”
Something tightens in my chest. Ignoring it, I focus on the incredible night sky outside as we roll along the dirt driveway.
“Thanks for helping Nia. She’s right, she doesn’t have that kind of thing in her life.”
“Happy to help. I know how hard it can be.”
His hand slides over the bench seat, lacing our fingers. I slide across the seat and lean into him. Happiness is a well-fed woman in the company of a man who looks at her the way Hadley Jones looks at me.
That thought brings a ton of bricks tumbling down.
I breathe through a panicky breath before closing my eyes. Hadley cups the back of my neck with his hand, still woven through mine. “Hey, what’s going on?”
Dragging my teeth through my bottom lip, I sigh. “Just tired.”
When he doesn’t reply, I know my lie was detected and stored away for future reference.
But I don’t offer anything else up. How can I?
I can barely wrangle these feelings. And that’s all they are, feelings.
Not the years of work and literal sacrifice I’ve been through for the life I want.
For the career I love. I’m all over the place when it comes to this man.
If it was just him, it would be a no-brainer. But it’s this ranch he can’t leave. The life I want means I can’t be tied down.
Tears burn behind my eyes as we roll to a stop in front of his house. As we walk inside in silence, it’s when he wraps me in his arms and tugs me into his chest I know I can’t let things get too serious.
“Tell me,” he rasps, the sound already defeated as it barely makes it through his lips.
“Tired is all. All this talk of career with Nia reminded me how much work I have left to do.”
“You can skip the roundup. We have it covered.”
“No.” I push back, but he doesn’t release me. “I said I’d help. I want to.”
He brushes a stray curl behind my ear, and I almost turn into a blubbering mess with the sentiment of it.
This man has his heart all over his sleeve.
I can read everything he’s feeling right there on his face.
If I don’t detach from it sooner rather than later, it’s going to rip me apart watching him realize this doesn’t go any further than this year. This round of the circuit.
It can’t.
And I feel like the world’s biggest asshole. Playing house, all the while I have an exit strategy waiting to go.
“I’m going to change,” I mutter.
He studies my face for a beat before his grip fades, and I walk to the bedroom. I sink onto the edge of the bed and have to force air into my lungs. To remind myself to exhale. That I’m supposed to make a difference. I promised Cap.
The burn turns to a torrent of tears I spend the next five minutes swiping from my face. The back door snaps, and I compose myself as I change into my sleep shorts and remove my bra, sliding my tank on. The fabric is soft and sends goosebumps over my body as it covers my ribs and stomach.
Wandering through the house, I pluck a glass from the upper cabinet and hold it under the tap, pouring a glass of water. By the time I’ve swallowed half, I feel better and head down the hallway and out the back door to find Hadley in the big old seat.
“Coming to bed?”
“In a sec,” he says softly, his gaze on the magnificent sky overhead, the stars shimmering so bright they look closer than they are. “Come here, Maggie.”
I step around the chair until I’m standing between his legs. He looks up at me and pats his lap. I sink down, straddling him as he takes the glass from my hand and places it on the porch.
“What’s going on in here, Sunshine?” He taps a finger to my temple.
The gentle, caring words and the worried look on his face send emotion closing over my throat.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have come?” I choke out.
“Why do you say that?”
“I ruined our friendship, when I can’t—”
The words snap in my throat. Chin wobbling, my eyes drift upward as if that will save me. I press my hands over my face.
I hear his breathing quicken.
Warm hands fold around mine, lowering them from my face. Brown eyes find mine. “You haven’t ruined a thing. I promise.”
“We’re too far in now . . . And I can’t chan—” A sob slips, shoving the rest of my words back down my throat.
“Fuck, Sunshine.” He guides my forehead to his, and his eyes close. As if he doesn’t have the solution to our problem any more than I do.
God, I hate this.
I just want him.
But I need my career, it’s literally my lifeblood.
The thing that fuels my purpose. I bleed in sepia.
Think in color and dream in black-and-white stills.
Hadley’s featured in so many of those stills, those moments I stole and tucked away as if I’d known this entire time we’re only temporary and I will need these memories down the line one day to get me through.
“Bedtime, hey. We have an early start,” he rumbles.
“Bedtime,” I whisper, glancing down at his brown eyes that are lined with agony.
God, please no.
No, he couldn’t have fallen so damn fast. Could he?
Oh, Hadley.
I dip my head and kiss his mouth. Anything but seeing that look on his face.
He meets my fire with his, growing hard underneath me.
Without thinking, I send my hands into his hair, tugging his head back.
His jaw feathers. At my mercy, his Adam’s apple bobs as his breathing heaves against my chest, my bare nipples rubbing against the fabric between us.
I want nothing more than to devour him.
Thoroughly.
“Bed or chair, baby? Because with those sweet-as-sin tits in my face and your soaked pussy rubbing all over my cock, I need to be inside you now.”
“Chair.” I tug my tank off my body and toss it to the wooden porch floor.
“Thank fuck,” he growls before clamping his lips around my aching nipple.
Rocking back and forth over his hard length, I chase the friction that sends me higher and higher.
He suckles the nipple, his hands gripping down on my hips, as if the connection between us is the only thing keeping him alive, too.
It’s ridiculous how the possibility sends a thrill through me, growing into a burning need.