Chapter Ten
Mia
The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow over the desert landscape as we settled into our new life. Our rental home, a charming bungalow nestled on the outskirts of Las Vegas, offered a sense of security and stability I hadn’t felt in a long time. Honestly, the only time I’d felt it was the last time Jackson rented a house for us. We’d decided to stay here in Las Vegas until Poppy was at least six months old before making the long journey back to Alabama. The doctor had cleared her to travel that far, but we’d wanted to be certain she could handle being in the truck for so long.
I didn’t know how he’d found a furnished home in our price range in such a short amount of time. It seemed almost like a miracle. Not that the hotel had been bad, but I knew it was too costly to stay there for long. Now that Jackson wasn’t going to be hitting the rodeo circuit, we’d need to conserve money. Although, I’d refused to look at his bank account. He’d insisted on getting a debit card in my name and adding me to the account, but I still didn’t feel right spending the money.
“All right, little lady,” I cooed, cradling Poppy in my arms as I stepped through the front door. “Welcome to your new home.”
“Let me help you with the bags, darlin’,” Jackson said, his voice laced with the comforting drawl I’d come to love. He took the weight of the bags from my shoulder and tenderly kissed the top of Poppy’s head. Despite the rough exterior of the rodeo cowboy, he was gentle and kind -- especially when it came to us.
As we made our way inside, I marveled at how quickly my life had changed. Becoming a mother had been an adjustment, but I already loved Poppy more than I could have ever imagined. Each day brought new challenges, yet the bond between us only grew stronger. Little Poppy was now two weeks old. My body still ached, but not as much as it had right after giving birth. Jackson had found a doctor for both me and our daughter, and he’d declared we were both in good health.
“Her nursery’s all set up,” Jackson announced, guiding me toward the pastel-painted room. We’d spent days preparing it, filling it with soft toys and colorful mobiles that would twirl above her crib. It was perfect, just like our little girl. I hadn’t been in here since Jackson put the finishing touches on it, but I should have known he’d do an amazing job. This had been the only empty room when we’d rented the place. Now it had everything Poppy would need.
“Thank you, Jackson,” I whispered, suddenly overcome with emotion. Tears welled in my eyes as I looked around the room, knowing that without him, none of this would have been possible. I hated the fact I kept crying over every little thing. The doctor said it was just my hormones and would taper off as the weeks passed. I hoped he was right.
“Hey now,” he murmured, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me close. “We’re a family, Mia. We take care of each other.”
I eased Poppy down into her new crib and went to our bedroom to unpack our things. There was still quite a bit to do, but Jackson had taken care of most of it. He’d already stocked the fridge and pantry, made sure we had things like laundry detergent and dish soap, so all I had to do was make a quick run through the house to see if we’d missed anything.
This would be the second longest I’d ever stayed in a nice house. It felt a little surreal. Not once in the times I’d dreamed about a better life had I ever thought I’d actually have a home like this one. I liked it even more than our other rental. I knew it was only temporary, but the way Jackson talked about his house in Alabama, I knew it would probably be even better than this one. My life kept changing in the most amazing ways, all because of the cowboy who’d decided to save me when I needed help the most.
I put the last of our clothes away and realized how very little we actually owned. Even Poppy… We’d bought her a handful of outfits, but I’d had to constantly wash them. She was always spitting up on them, having accidents that leaked from her diapers, or messing them up in some other way.
“What’s wrong?” Jackson asked, coming up behind me and placing his hands on my shoulders.
“Just thinking we all need more clothes than this if we’re going to be here for six months. But…”
“You’re worried about the cost,” he said. “We’re fine, Mia. I didn’t want to tell you, but the club helped us get this house. Not only did Wire locate it for us, but he shuffled some funds into my account to help pay for it. Or maybe instead of saying the club helped, I should say Wire and Lavender did.”
“Why would they do that? It couldn’t have been cheap,” I said.
“Remember when I said they were hackers? They have a tendency to drain the bank accounts of bad people, like human traffickers, murderers, rapists, corrupt officials… He just funneled some of that money to me. I’m sure most people wouldn’t want to touch it, thinking it was dirty money, but if we didn’t use it for something good, then what’s the point of taking it away from assholes like that?” he asked.
I wasn’t sure how to respond. He made sense, but at the same time, I was a little concerned his friends knew how to even find people like that to take money from them. What if they went looking for those funds and tracked them to us? My anxiety must have shown because he gave my shoulders a squeeze, then wrapped his arms around me.
“Everything will be fine, Mia. It’s not the first, or even twentieth time Wire has done something like this. The Dixie Reapers aren’t like a lot of other motorcycle clubs. At one time, they were complete outlaws. Over the years, the club had tried to ditch the law-breaking stuff. With one exception… They’ll still take out the trash, if you get what I mean.”
I nodded. Yeah, I thought I understood perfectly. Which meant it was possible if my parents caused us any trouble, then the club would handle them. I had to admit, that made me feel a little more at ease. Maybe going to Alabama and meeting all of Jackson’s family wouldn’t be so bad after all.
* * *
As the days turned into weeks, we settled into a routine. Jackson took on his new role as a father with gusto, changing diapers and soothing Poppy when she cried. I’d catch him rocking her to sleep in the moonlight, humming soft lullabies that seemed to come straight from his heart.
“Y’know,” he said one night, as we lay in bed with Poppy nestled between us, “I never thought I could love someone as much as I love you two.”
“Me neither,” I confessed, my heart swelling with affection for this man who had saved me from a dark path and given me a future worth living for. It was the first time either of us had mentioned loving the other. The way he’d casually said it was so very like him.
As I gazed at our family -- our beautiful, loving, imperfect family -- I knew that I would do anything to protect them. There was nothing more important than the love that bound us together against all odds.
My phone rang and I grabbed it, checking the display. Danica. “It’s your sister.”
“You should answer it. I’ll stay here with Poppy,” he said. “I’m glad you and Danica are getting close.”
I was too. Smiling, I answered the call and went to the front porch. A cool desert breeze ruffled my hair. It really was pretty here. It wasn’t the type of beauty you found in the east or even along the southern coast, or so I’d been told, but it was still peaceful and a bit breathtaking.
“Hey, Danica,” I said, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness at the prospect of talking to Jackson’s sister. As Jackson had said, we’d been growing closer over these past few weeks through our phone conversations. But there was still so much I didn’t know about her or her family.
“Hey, Mia!” she replied brightly. “How’s my favorite sister-in-law?”
“Favorite by default,” I teased, a small smile tugging at my lips. She always said things like that. It warmed my heart, even when I knew I was her only sister-in-law. “But I’m good, thank you. How are things in Tennessee?”
“Can’t complain,” she said, and I could hear the warmth in her voice. “Ranger sends his love. Wish we could be there to help with little Poppy.”
“Tell him I said hi,” I replied. “And I’d be more than happy to get some help with my daughter. Not that your brother isn’t awesome. He’s doing an amazing job. It’s me who…”
She sighed. “So, you’ve already fallen down that rabbit hole, huh? The I suck at being a mom train of thought. I think most of us go through it. I promise when Poppy starts sleeping more, and you can too, then things will get better.”
“Jackson said we’re staying here until Poppy is six months, then we’ll go to your parents’ place.” I hesitated a moment before voicing the fear that had been gnawing at me. “Danica… do you think your parents will like me?”
As far as I was concerned, it was a legitimate worry. If they hated me, would Jackson eventually regret choosing to marry me? He’d already said it would be forever, that he didn’t believe in divorce.
“Of course, they will, Mia,” she reassured me gently. “You’re sweet, kind, and you’ve made my brother happier than I’ve ever seen him. Besides, they’re going to fall head over heels for Poppy. That girl is going to be your trump card. The second my dad sees her, he’s going to do his best to give her the entire world. I should know. He used to spoil me and Jackson rotten when we were kids.”
“Thanks,” I murmured, touched by her encouragement. “I just… I don’t want to mess this up, you know? They’re his family -- your family -- and I want them to accept me.”
“Trust me,” Danica said firmly, “you’re already a part of this family, even if you haven’t met them yet. And they’re going to love you, just like Jackson and I do. Besides, I have a feeling if they tried to give you a hard time, Jackson would walk away without even looking back. That’s how much he cares about you, Mia.”
Her words brought a sense of relief, but the internal turmoil that plagued me as a new mother surfaced once more as I ended the call and retreated indoors. It was more challenging than I’d ever imagined, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was constantly on the verge of making some terrible mistake.
Every bath, I worried I’d somehow drown Poppy. When she cried, I felt anxious as I tried to figure out what she needed. And every time she woke me in the middle of the night, I thought I might burst into tears. I grappled with self-doubt and inadequacy as I navigated the uncharted waters of motherhood. There were days I felt like a complete failure as a mother.
I slid back into bed, marveling at how perfect Jackson looked with our daughter resting on his chest. I used my phone to snap a picture, then sent it to Danica. Setting it aside, I watched my two favorite people in the world. How did he make that look so easy?
“Jackson, what if I’m not good enough for her? What if I can’t take care of her like she needs?”
“Hey,” he murmured, pulling me against his side. “You’re doing an amazing job, Mia. You love her with all your heart, and that’s what she needs most. We’ll figure everything else out together. It’s not like I have any idea how to be a father. I mean, I did have an amazing example, but it’s different when you have to put everything into practice.”
“Promise?” I asked.
“Promise,” he replied, sealing his vow with a tender kiss. “Would it make you feel better if you found a group of mothers to join? Like one of those… what are they called? Mommy and Me classes? Is that a thing or did I get that off a movie?”
“You’re asking me? I’m just as clueless as you are,” I said. “But a group of mothers… I’m not opposed to it exactly, I’m just…”
“I know it’s not easy for you to meet new people or make friends. And I understand why you feel that way. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try. I’ll look around online tomorrow and see what I can find. I think you need a support system here, other than me. And what better group of people than mothers who have been where you are, or are currently going through the same thing? I’m sure there would be a mix of new moms and women who are on their second or even fourth child.”
I nodded. “All right. I’ll give it a try.”
I gathered Poppy in my arms and carried her back to her room. I knew if I didn’t, Jackson would let her sleep on top of him all night, then he’d wake up with stiff joints. Even though he was only twenty-five, being a rodeo cowboy had been hard on his body.
“I love you, my little angel,” I whispered as I covered Poppy with her blanket. Tiptoeing from the room, I went back to bed and curled up against Jackson.
“How many more weeks did the doctor say?” he asked.
I knew exactly what he meant. “They said I needed six weeks to heal, but it could be a little longer since I tore when Poppy was born.”
He winced. “Thanks for that reminder. I think that part freaked me out more than the rest.”
I kissed his cheek. “The time will fly by. But if it’s any consolation, I miss getting to be with you in that way too. You’re not the only one looking forward to me being all better.”
“Love you, Mia. More than anything.”
I snuggled against him, smiling. “Love you too.”