5. 5
Cowboy watched Ava and couldn’t help but be reminded of Lisa, his younger sister. She was fifteen years his junior, so he remembered her younger years well. At the time he hadn’t appreciated her innocent honesty, but now, with more perspective, he wished he’d appreciated it more.
“You said you were married.” He paused as the waitress delivered their food then left. Before he had a chance to continue, she spoke up.
“Yes, but I’d rather not talk about that.”
“No worries, I just had a question. Any kids?” He hadn’t seen any sign of them in her apartment, but maybe whatever had caused the divorce had given her ex-husband custody.
“No,” she looked down at her plate, “I wanted them, and we tried, but I could never get pregnant. After years of trying, I wanted to see a doctor, but Hank insisted it was God’s will and forbade it.” She took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders, and looked up, meeting his gaze. “Looking at how things have turned out, it’s probably for the best. Still, I wish I had at least gotten pregnant once. I feel like I’m missing something.”
The sadness and loss were apparent on her face. He felt for her. He’d never yearned for kids before, but seeing how badly she did, it made him wonder if maybe he was missing something by not having any. But then, who would he trust to have his child? He hadn’t had a relationship that lasted past sunrise in longer than he cared to think about.
“You’re still young enough for kids. It’s not too late.” He was sure she couldn’t be more than thirty-two or three, there was still lots of time for her to have children. Hell, more and more women were waiting until after that to even start thinking about them.
“That may be true but look at me. Look at my life now. I’m thirty-five and barely able to support myself. How would I support a kid too? Besides, I’d also have to find a father, or be a single mom and…” She trailed off then shook her head. “No, that’s one dream I’m going to have to let go of.”
He hated seeing the sad and lost look on her face. It made him want to say he could help, but he bit his tongue. That was a huge thing to volunteer for. And she was a stranger at that, no matter how intriguing.
They ate and chatted, getting to know each other a bit better. But at the end of the meal, Cowboy couldn’t help wanting to spend more time with her. Even though he didn’t know her well, she intrigued him and for some reason he didn’t understand, he felt more at home around her than around most of the people he’d known, aside from his brothers. His Kings of Destruction brothers that was. His only blood brother and he didn’t get along. He hadn’t even spoken to Terry in over three years.
When Betsy brought the ticket, Cowboy had to stop himself from picking it up. He knew enough about women to know that she would likely get angry if he tried to pay. Especially since she’d told him she was taking him to lunch as a thank you for making sure she got home safe. Still, it irked his sense of right and wrong to let her pick up the tab. Especially after she’d said she was barely able to support herself.
“I’ve enjoyed this,” he said after she’d sent her card with Betsy to pay for their meals. “I’d like to take you out again. This time I’ll pay.” He smiled, hoping she wouldn’t be insulted by his saying he wanted to pay.
“I don’t know.” Her gaze dropped to her hands. “I don’t go out much and when I do, I seem to find trouble. You saw that.”
“You didn’t find trouble. Trouble could have found you, but I didn’t let that happen night before last and I’ll do my best to keep it from happening if you’ll go out with me. Dinner, maybe a movie, though we could go dancing if you like. I liked watching you dance.”
Ava turned pink, as if the memory of her dancing embarrassed her. He didn’t know why it should, but then she seemed more repressed, or maybe innocent was the right word, with no alcohol to loosen her inhibitions. It stirred a protective instinct stronger than he could ever recall feeling, even for Lisa when she’d been in school and some asshole had been harassing her.
“I guess it would be okay. When do you want to go out?” She kept her voice soft, and didn’t look up at him.
Cowboy wanted to say now. Tonight. But thought that would be too much, too soon for her.
“How about tomorrow night?”
She glanced up at him then back down again. “I can do tomorrow. What should I wear?”
“Want a ride on my bike?” He watched her closely, wanting to read her reaction as well as her words.
The blush from moments before had faded, but she flushed now, and he knew the idea excited her.
“I don’t know. Isn’t it dangerous?”
“It can be, but I’ll make sure nothing happens. It will be fun and one more thing to mark off that bucket list.”
Her full lips disappeared as she bit them, obviously trying to screw up the nerve.
“All right. Let’s do it.” She looked up at him, excitement shining in her eyes. “What should I wear?”
“Jeans, a jacket of some kind and the boots you had on last night would be perfect. If you have a purse, something with a long strap that can go across your body works best.” Well, second best, after a backpack, but most women wouldn’t carry a backpack in place of a purse so there was no point suggesting it.
“Anything else I should know?”
He scanned her from head to toe, looking for things that wouldn’t be safe on the bike. “You can pull your hair back, but keep it low, so a braid or low ponytail, or the helmet will be painful very quickly.”
“Oh, good to know.” She tapped fingertips against her thumb in succession, as if counting something, then spoke again, still focusing on her hands. “Let me make sure I have it all. Casual dress, but warm. Boots, long strap on the purse, hair up and low. Right?” She looked up at him, her eyes a light with excitement.
“Warm but layers, because you might get warm at the theater and want to take it off. And you’re hair doesn’t have to be up, but if it is, it needs to be low. I like your hair. It looks like every strand is a slightly different color, so you can never be sure what color it really is.” He resisted the urge to reach out and see if it was as soft as it looked.
If he got his way, he’d have a chance to feel it soon enough. Same with her lips. They were full and plump, and he ached to know what she tasted like, but it was way too soon. They hadn’t even had a single date.
“Thank you.” She looked uncomfortable talking about her hair, and he wondered why, but she kept talking. “And thank you for agreeing to this.” She motioned to the table between them.
He started to tell her it was nothing, he was just doing what any decent person would do, but she cut him off.
“We know it’s not what anyone would do. All we have to do is turn on the news to know that. You did something big, at least to me. I want you to know I appreciate it.”
“Then you’re welcome.” He didn’t know what else to say.
“Now, I have to go. I have a few errands to run, then Aaron, my brother, is expecting me for dinner. I know he’s got a lot going on, but he’s made a point to have me for dinner every Sunday since I got to town. He’s trying to help as much as he can.” She gathered her phone and looked around the table top to make sure she hadn’t left anything else, then stood. Cowboy stood along with her, while she dropped her phone into her bag.
“Let me walk you out.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I’m headed out anyway, it’s no big deal. Plus, it gives me just a couple minutes longer with you.” He quirked one side of his mouth into a smirk.
“Then thank you.” Ava lifted her purse strap onto her shoulder then turned for the door.