Mallory
Mal walked to the farmhouse with Harrison in silence, Valerie’s words still ringing in her ears.
Come see me when you need a ring.
On the one hand, it was incredibly awkward to have that just floating in the air between them.
On the other, it was a perfect segue to a difficult conversation, if she dared to broach it.
She stole a glance up at Harrison, but his face was unreadable. He was probably going over everything he had to do tonight in his mind and not even thinking about rings or commitment.
“I’ll just show you around a little,” he said. “And then you can relax, you don’t have to cook tonight. I’ll make us something when I get done with the cows.”
“I like cooking,” Mal said, shrugging.
Besides, she was going to need something to do to keep from going bananas while she waited for him.
“I know you do,” he said with a half-smile. “Help yourself to anything you find in the kitchen if you feel like cooking. Nothing’s off-limits.”
“Thank you,” she said, hoping that applied to conversation topics as well.
They reached the end of the rhododendron hedge and the view of the house and barns opened up in front of them. The farmhouse was white with black shutters and a wide front porch, just the kind of house Mal loved.
“It’s like a farmhouse in a fairytale,” she said without thinking.
Harrison smiled.
As they got closer, something small and gray streaked off the porch and down the steps, disappearing into the shadows beneath.
“What was that?” she asked.
“Just a barn cat Katie’s been taming,” Harrison said. “She’s doing great with him, but he only likes her. I can’t get anywhere near the little guy.”
He jogged up the front steps to the porch and Mal followed, smiling at the idea of Katie befriending a little cat.
Harrison opened the front door and she followed him in. The house was cozy, comfortable, and neat as a pin. Her eyes caught on the fireplace and bookcases. Everything seemed so homey.
“Kitchen’s this way,” Harrison said. “I’ll just show you around really quickly so I can get back to the girls.”
“The girls,” Mal echoed with a smile, liking the idea that he referred to the cows that way. “I’m glad they’re home safely.”
“Me too,” Harrison said.
He pointed out a couple of things, and showed her the wooden bin of potatoes and the herbs in a planter by the window.
“You sure you don’t mind waiting for me?” he asked.
“I won’t even notice you’re gone,” Mal told him, already mentally putting together a menu.
“Thanks,” he said, reaching for her hand and squeezing it before heading out the back door.
“Okay,” Mal said to herself, spinning around the kitchen.
It might not be the biggest space in the world, but it was bigger than the one in her apartment and cozier than the one at the bakery. There was a nice window overlooking the hillside and the barns too.
By the time she had finished with the roasted chicken, Harrison was all done with his chores and coming down the stairs after a shower.
Perfect timing.
It had been fun to cook in the new space, and she had taken the liberty of turning on the radio and letting WCCR’s Christmas music keep her company.
“Smells amazing,” Harrison’s deep voice boomed from the stairwell.
Mal looked up as Harrison ducked his head at the landing of the back stairs and her heart skipped a beat.
She had expected him to be in his usual jeans and a flannel. After the day he’d had, she wouldn’t have blamed him if he’d come down the stairs in pajamas.
Instead, he was wearing a crisp white button-down and a pair of charcoal-gray trousers. His damp hair was slicked back, the length of it just brushing his collar.
He dressed for our date, even though it’s happening in his own kitchen.
“Hey,” he said.
“You look amazing,” she said out loud.
“I clean up okay,” he said, smiling. “But you look amazing. And it smells so good in here. A man could get used to this.”
She smiled, trying not to let his sweet words send her thoughts spiraling.
“Shall we?” she asked him, gesturing to the kitchen table, which she had set. “Or we can go out to the dining room?”
“Here is great,” Harrison said.
She brought over the pan with the roasted chicken breasts and potatoes and then came back with steamed veggies to go with it.
“This is incredible, Mallory,” Harrison said. “I can’t believe you baked all day and then came here and cooked. I’m sorry again about that.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” she told him as they served themselves. “And this is easy stuff.”
She closed her eyes for a moment of silent thanks, and when she opened her eyes, she was pleased to see that Harrison had done the same.
“Oh, wow,” he moaned over his first bite of chicken.
“It’s the fresh rosemary and thyme,” Mal told him. “I wish I had a little herb garden in my kitchen.”
“It’s handy,” Harrison agreed. “It actually came with the house, but I enjoy it.”
They talked casually about food and cooking while they ate at a leisurely pace.
“By the way, I saw that post,” Harrison said with a smile. “When were you planning to tell me about it?”
“It’s just a post,” she said, smiling with pleasure. Bringing it up would have felt like boasting, but it was so exciting. “But it’s still so cool. And everyone in town was stopping in today to talk about it.”
“I’m really happy for you,” he told her seriously. “What’s next?”
“Well, like I said, it was just a post,” she said. “But it felt good to see someone who doesn’t even know me getting excited about something I baked. It was kind of inspiring.”
She told him about a few of the ideas she had, and even filled him in on her pipe dream to add an oven and more seating if she bought the building.
After a long day, it was such a luxury to sit and talk quietly over a nourishing meal.
Mal always had good intentions, but she was prone to finding herself jotting down bakery ideas in a notebook while she ate a warmed-up can of soup for dinner.
It just seemed like a waste to cook for one person.
She did most of her cooking when she visited her dad’s house.
“It was nice of Valerie to bring you over,” Harrison said. “She surprised me tonight with her know-how.”
“Valerie’s full of surprises,” Mal said fondly.
There was an awkward pause, the first since he’d come downstairs.
Mal decided to bite the bullet.
“Did she make you uncomfortable?” she asked. “With that thing she said?”
“What thing?” Harrison asked, looking genuinely confused.
Mal felt her cheeks heat, and she dropped her eyes to her plate. She might feel like a fool again. But she wasn’t going to give up now.
“About a ring,” she said softly.
“Oh, that,” Harrison said. “Why would that make me uncomfortable?”
Mal lifted her eyes to his, waiting.
“Does it make you uncomfortable?” he asked softly, after a moment.
“Not even a little bit,” she told him, setting her chin. “I want a family. I always have. But I know it’s not what you want.”
“What makes you think that?” he asked, his brow lowered like he was angry.
“You told me yourself,” she said.
“When?” he demanded.
She blinked at him, completely thrown.
“One of the first times we chatted online,” she said, rallying. “We were talking about Penny, and about how you could never find anyone to take her place. You told me you would never remarry. You said you had sworn off women.”
“Oh,” Harrison said. “Yeah. I guess I did say that.”
Mal nodded.
“But that was before I got to know you,” he added quietly.
Her heart squeezed, wishing it could be true.
“I could never take Penny’s place,” she said.
“I would never ask you to,” he said right away. “You have your own place in my heart. And in Katie’s too.”
“We barely know each other,” Mal said, trying to gather her feelings.
“That’s not true, Mallory,” Harrison said gently. “We know each other very well. Better than most people on their hundredth date. We got to know each other before we ever even thought about dating. We’ve seen each other in our darkest, lowest moments.”
Her eyes found his again.
He was right. In some ways, he knew her better than her friends. She had told him things she couldn’t bear to add to anyone else’s burden.
And he had always understood.
“We’ve been there for each other,” she acknowledged.
“Good days and bad,” he said with a crooked smile.
“Good days and bad,” she agreed.
He took her hands across the table, and the look in his eyes was more intimate than any kiss.
“You mean so much to me,” he told her. “To both of us. The way you are with Katie… you’re everything she needs.”
“She doesn’t need anything at all,” Mal said. “But I love spending time with her, and it’s an honor to watch her grow.”
He squeezed her hands, making her heart ache.
“Please tell me you weren’t holding back all this time because you thought I wasn’t serious about you,” he said, his voice tight.
She shook her head.
“That was what I was telling myself,” she said. “I thought I didn’t want to look like a fool. But I’m starting to realize maybe it was something more.”
She paused, trying to find the words, and Harrison waited patiently.
“Real love can break your heart,” she said after a moment. “And I’m… scared.”
“When you lose someone you love, it can make you want to close your heart away where it’s safe,” Harrison said, his eyes on their hands. “That’s how I felt after Penny. Is that how you’ve been feeling this year after your mom?”
“I just don’t want to hurt anymore,” she admitted over the lump in her throat.
“I will do everything in my power not to hurt you,” he replied, his blue eyes fiery as they met hers again. “And I want to be there for you, all the time. I want us to get each other through the hard days.”
“Like we already do,” she said.
“Just like that,” he agreed.
She smiled up at him through her tears.
“I love your smile,” he breathed. “I want to be the one who makes you happy, every day, Mallory.”
“Okay,” she said.
“Okay, okay?” he asked, his eyebrows lifting. “Like okay, you’ll be my girl?”
“Yes,” she laughed. “Definitely, yes, not just okay.”
Harrison leaped to his feet, then pulled her out of her chair and danced her around the kitchen as Stevie Wonder sang “What Christmas Means to Me” on the radio and lacy snowflakes floated down outside the window.
Their laughter filled the kitchen and for the first time in a long time, Mal’s heart felt light enough to take wing and fly.