CHAPTER 14
brIELLE
As I stand in the doorway of Rian’s room, I can’t look away from her. She’s sleeping so peacefully surrounded by the presents she hasn’t gotten to enjoy yet. But I know she will.
Her presents tell the story of how the people who love her see her. And how much they want to see her thrive.
The ticket I printed for her is pinned to the cork board on her wall and I can’t help but smile when I look at it. Her other present is hanging on the wall already. She insisted on it along with hanging the canvas I had printed for Everton in the living room.
My heart clenches as I watch her. The peacefulness. The trust.
When Everton’s arm wraps around my waist and he pulls me away from the doorway after standing there for a moment and taking in the scene in the same way I am, I don’t resist. He shuts the door softly and I sigh as he leads me to the bedroom.
Standing next to the bed, I turn toward him, unsure of what I’m going to see written on his face. My lips part when I see the love there, the worship in his gaze, and the gratitude.
“We’re lucky to have you in our lives, Tiny Dancer,” he rasps.
I shake my head, but the look he shoots me has my rebuttal, my denial, dying in my throat. I swallow hard as he gently undresses me. Where there was fire and need every other time we’ve touched each other, this is different.
He gently lays me down on the bed, my naked body on display for him. And he devours me with his eyes. I shiver under the weight of it, the caress of his gaze, and I sigh.
After mapping my body with his hands, his mouth skims my flesh. He worships every inch of me as if he is memorizing my form, the push and pull of my muscles, the reactions I don’t even try to hide.
He nips and licks down my body, until his strong hands grip my thighs and push them apart. I don’t put up even a little bit of resistance. Because I want him just as much as he wants me.
His thumbs glide up between my pussy lips and hold me open to his hungry gaze. He lets out a grunt which sounds like barely controlled chaos.
When his mouth makes contact, my hips jolt. But he’s there to hold me right where he wants me. His fingers tighten their hold on my thighs, and I moan out his name as I arch my back.
“Please,” I mewl, the sound sharper than I would like.
His lips wrap around my clit and his tongue lashes across the sensitive bud as he plunges two fingers inside of me. I make a sound at the back of my throat which has Everton chuckling. The way the sound vibrates through me has my eyes rolling back in my head.
Everton laps at me, tasting me, savoring me. Every swipe of his tongue and twist of his fingers as he fingers me sends me closer and closer to the edge.
“You taste so fucking good,” he grits out.
His whiskey-colored eyes slide up my body until they lock with mine. He doesn’t look away while he curls his fingers and finds the spot inside of me that has my thighs shaking on either side of his head.
“Everton,” my voice is high and breathy. “Right there,” I plead, “don’t stop.”
“Never,” he snarls.
When his teeth scrape across my clit, my eyes roll back in my head and my orgasm rushes through me. It steals my breath and white spots dance across my vision for a moment. Then his body covers mine and he kisses me.
I wrap my limbs around him and when my tongue tangles with his, I can taste myself. He growls into my mouth, and I let out a low groan that is all desire.
My body arches as he slides deep inside of my soaking wet pussy. I’m always ready for him. Always aching. Always soaked.
It’s just how it is when I’m with this man. Only him.
As my fingers curl around his shoulders, his jaw clenches and he grits out, “I’m never letting you go, Tiny Dancer. Fucking never.”
“I don’t want you to,” my words are breathless.
His thrusts get harder and faster and I move my hips to meet every one of them. It’s almost brutal, but it’s so damn beautiful as every breathy moan spurs him on.
“I need you to come all over my cock,” he groans. “You’re so close. Let go. I’ve got you,” the command in his words is all I need.
Pleasure washes over me and I hold onto him with everything in me. Because if I don’t, I think I’ll float away and be lost.
Well, lost until Everton finds me. I know he always will.
I feel him come with me and it gives me a sense of satisfaction which has a smile curling my lips. There’s something about knowing he finds pleasure with me. It’s a high I’ve only ever known with him.
The kiss we share now is soft, sweet, and full of love. He turns us on our side and wraps me in his arms until I’m plastered against him, and I let out a soft sigh.
I should clean up, but I don’t want to move right now. Honestly, I’m not even sure I can move.
My eyes close and words I’ve been trying to suppress bubble up from my soul. Because he needs to know before things go farther.
As if it’s not already too late.
“I have always wanted to be a mom,” my words start out small and fragile, “and I’m glad Rian has come into my life. I’ll always put her first and love her with all I am.”
“You’re already the mom she needs,” his words are a reassuring balm on the frayed parts of me.
But he might change is tune.
“I’m terrified of babies,” I blurt out the words, and my eyes widen at how blunt they come out. “I’m sorry, I just think you should know. I want a family, but babies? They freak me out.”
When I look into Everton’s eyes, there is amusement there, but there’s also something else—curiosity. What I don’t see in his gaze is judgement. I didn’t realize how afraid I was of my fears being brushed aside until this moment.
I swallow hard and wait as he studies my face.
“Why do babies freak you out?” His tone is even and open without any of the wariness I was expecting.
“They’re so small and fragile,” I whisper.
“They can’t talk. Hell, they can’t even hold up their own heads.
The thought of someone so small needing so much from me is terrifying.
I don’t think I want to have a baby.” I look into his eyes and hope I don’t lose him because of my confession.
“I just thought you should know. I probably should have said something before we got in too deep again.”
“Hey,” his voice is gentle, like he’s talking to a feral animal.
He’s not entirely wrong in his approach considering the way I’m feeling right now.
His hand cups my cheek and holds my gaze.
“I’m okay with it if you don’t want to get pregnant and give birth to a baby.
I know you’ll be an amazing mom to Rian.
You already are,” he assures me with his crooked boyhood grin which always makes my heart flutter.
“I’ll probably fuck up,” I try and deflect.
Everton chuckles and nods slowly. “You probably will,” he agrees.
“I know I’ve fucked up, and I know I will again.
We’re out here living life for the first time too and sometimes we don’t have all the information.
We certainly don’t have all the experience to pull on to help with the decisions in front of us.
That doesn’t make you a bad parent, it makes you human. ”
“You’d really be okay with no more babies?” I breathe out the question, scared of the answer. “You always talked about a big family before.”
He shrugs a shoulder, his gaze steady. “I want the family I’m destined to have. If that means I have you and Rian, then I’m more than okay with it. But there are other ways we can grow our family.”
I blink at him a few times, a little surprised at the implication in his words. A little ember of something like hope flares in my chest.
“Would you consider becoming a foster parent?” He studies my face while pointing out, “We could help kids who need it and be clear about not wanting newborns placed with us.”
When my eyes fill with tears this time there’s no way I can stop them from flowing. But Everton is right there to wipe them away with a soft smile on his face.
“You would do that? You would want to open up your heart, house, and family to kids you don’t even know? Kids who aren’t ours? Kids we might have to give back?” My voice cracks with the weight of the possibility my man has just laid at my feet.
“I’ll do anything for you,” he murmurs the words softly, but they land in the middle of my chest like a sledgehammer. “I love you.”
“I love you,” I breathe out and let the love this man gives to me wash over me.
“The hardest part would be watching kids we pour love into leave, but at the same time what a gift that would be.” When I look at him curiously and he explains, “If they come to us because they need a safe place to land, but then can be reunited with their family, it’s a beautiful thing.
We’d get to be a small part of them finding their way back to each other. That’s amazing.”
My tears flow a little harder and Everton’s whiskey-colored eyes soften as he looks at me. “And maybe,” he whispers, “we’ll find the children who are meant to be a part of our family permanently.”
“Isn’t there a lot of red tape with being a foster parent?” I’m almost afraid to find joy in what my man is laying out before me. Isn’t it too good to be true?
“The club can help with that,” he says cryptically which says more than enough.
“Okay,” I breathe out, “I think that sounds perfect.”
Everton’s smile is huge as he pulls me even tighter against his body. “You have so much love to give, Tiny Dancer. We can change the lives of kids who need it, who need a little hope and a lot of safety. It would be my greatest honor to walk that path with you.”
My hands frame his faced and my thumbs slide back and forth over the stubble on his jawline. “You’re a good man, Everton Connors.”
The place where fear has lived for so long cracks open.
The fear of not being enough, of not being able to make my dreams come true.
The fear of never finding love like the one I left behind.
The fear of not having a family because I couldn’t see a way around what has terrified me for years.
The fear of not knowing what comes next.
I know what comes next now.
I’m going to open Tiny Dancer Studio. I’m going to teach Rian how to dance and we’ll figure out what it means to love each other. I’m going to love Everton with everything I am for the rest of my life.
“You make me a good man, Brielle,” his voice is thick with emotion.
I shake my head because I know it’s him. It’s all him.
He kisses me softly and with all the love he feels for me. I can taste it on his tongue and feel it in the way his fingers glide over my skin. There’s no fear as I sink into the sensation.
“We’ll figure it out,” he vows. “We’ll figure everything out.”
“I know.”
And I do.
Because I can do anything with this man at my side. I can open a dance studio. I can live my dreams. I can face my fears. I can build the family that is right for us.
“I have loved you since before I knew what it really meant to lose you. I have lived so many years with your ghost sitting in the front row and clapping with the audience every time I stepped on stage. I can’t wait to experience the life I get to live with you and our girl.
” I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, wanting to make sure there’s no doubt. “I’m all in, Cowboy.”
He lets out a feral growl. It’s the only warning I get before he rolls me onto my back and takes my mouth in a kiss that borders on brutal. Brutal but also so damn beautiful.
My fingers thread through his hair as I pull him even closer to me. We get lost in each other, but I’ve never felt more found. I know this is how it’ll always be now. Even on the hard days.
“I love you,” we whisper the words to each other, in synch, just like the beat of our hearts.