Chapter 22 Crane
TWENTY-TWO
CRANE
My phone buzzed at two a.m.
Unknown number.
"Crane?" Mom's voice was barely a whisper, thick with tears.
"Ma? What's wrong?"
"I need you. Please. I think I—" The line went dead.
I was out of bed and grabbing my keys before my brain caught up to my body.
Now I'm driving like a fucking madman. Rain lashes at the windscreen, preventing me from seeing where I’m going.
I’m relying on pure luck and memory to drive away.
Away from him.
“Slow down, Crane,” Mom mumbles from the passenger seat, her hand moving to the dash. “Just take me to the police station.”
“No.”
I’ve been driving for three hours, desperate to get my mom away.
“I’ll press charges.”
“No. You’re leaving him. We’re leaving him.”
I’ve had this conversation so many times with her already, but she’s in a state of shock, I think.
Her eyes are blackened again, and her lip is split. Her hair has been cut to her scalp, and she’s thinner than I’ve ever seen her.
“Okay, just slow down; you’re scaring me.”
I’m scaring her?
My dad had sent me a message telling me to come and pick up my mom’s corpse.
My stomach is still churning with the memory of seeing her on the front porch; my dad covered in blood beside her.
“Is he dead?”
Mom sounds like she’s having a nervous breakdown, and I have to force a smile.
She’s such a fucking mess.
My beautiful mother.
“I don’t know, Ma.”
I don’t.
Mom stabbed him when he tried to strangle her; I’d arrived after.
“I’ll press charges,” Mom repeats, crossing her arms. “I will.”
I remain silent.
It’s a waste of time telling her she can’t put a dead body in prison, but I’m too tired to entertain this.
Two hours later, we need gas, so I pull into a gas station with Kai’s credit card.
I fucking hate myself, but he knows I’ve got it.
“I’ll stop off and grab us some food.”
In the store, I grab anything I can think of that Mom can eat without hurting her mouth.
Sandwiches, Jell-0 cups, and yogurts are the best I can think of, and I stock up on sweets and chocolates to help with her sugar levels. I grab shampoo and soap too.
When I step outside, I see my mom checking her reflection in the car mirror, tears streaming down her face.
Her hair sticks up in tufts, clumps of it missing. Her fingers running over it like it will help bring it back, but it’s the despair on her face that kills me.
“Hey,” I say brightly, handing her the bag of goodies. “Can you try any of that?”
Mom stares into the bag, nodding grimly.
“I’m sorry, Crane.”
My heart breaks.
Not just in half; into tiny pieces that shatter and splinter into my very core.
All she did was love him.
“Don’t apologize, Ma. Please,” I whisper, reaching over to take her bloodied hand in mine. “Let’s find a motel, and you can get cleaned up. Alright?”
Mom nods, her eyes glassy.
I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing; if Mom’s killed Dad, I’m an accessory.
To what, self-defence?
I should have called an ambulance for him, but I want him dead.
The guilt I feel for leaving her with him makes me want to repeatedly smash my fist into my own face.
I knew what he was like, and I left to play college kid.
Never again.
When we find a motel, I usher Mom into the bathroom, encouraging her to shower.
Mom stares at the shampoo, her eyes filling with tears.
“I don’t have any hair to wash, Crane.”
Fucking hell.
The lump that forms in my throat makes me want to smash the place to pieces. Mom looks at me like a child looks to a parent, and it’s all kinds of fucked up.
“You do. It’ll grow back. You’re beautiful, Ma.”
She closes the door, and I sink onto the bed, my eyes watering.
To think that while I was fucking Sierra and eating burgers, my mom was fighting for her life.
Never again.
I vow never to leave Mom again.
Sierra.
The pain in my chest is almost too much to bear when I think of her. Her beautiful smile, the excitement in her eyes when she saw me this morning.
But I can’t give her what she wants.
I have to focus on my mom and getting her well again.
Fuck college.
I’ll do what I’ve got to do to survive, even if it means cutting everyone off.
Mom needs to be away from that place and everyone in it.
I know Kai and his family would put themselves on the line to help us, but this is a family affair.
I step outside to call Kai for the second and last time, my hands trembling as I dial his familiar number.
He answers, and the clatter of dishes in the background tells me he’s probably about to have dinner.
“Talk to me.”
The line falls silent as Kai moves away from the noise, and I let out a deep sob.
Kai curses, and I know I need to get a grip before he loses his shit and comes searching for us.
“Bro.”
Those words are enough to send me off it.
Kai is my brother, albeit not by blood, but he’s all I’ve got.
“I can’t come back,” I tell him, my voice ragged with agony.
The pain seems to double in force now, and I sink to my knees in the parking lot.
“You can always come back. I don’t care what’s happened.”
I can’t tell him.
All he knows is that I had to leave with his credit card to take my mom away from my abusive, piece of shit dad.
“It’s bad, Kai.”
“I don’t care.”
“I can’t come back,” I repeat, staring up into the night sky.
It’s littered with stars, and I can’t help but wonder how it must feel to exist beneath them without pain.
“Then I’ll come with you.” Kai is a stubborn fucker, but I’m not dragging him into this shit.
No way.
“No.”
“Crane, man, I’m not asking.”
Kai has it all: the family, the love, the girl—all of it. He has a bright future ahead of him, and I refuse to hold him back.
“Do something for me,” I whisper, clutching the phone to my ear.
“Anything,” Kai replies with emotion.
“Tell Sierra I’m sorry. Tell your parents thanks for everything.”
“Crane—”
“Thanks for being my brother.”
Kai’s voice cracks as he curses, but I have to end the call.
“I love you all, man. Don’t come looking for me; just understand if I could come back, I would. I’ll pay you back for the card one day. Make me proud, brother. I love you.”