Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
STEVIE
I am out on the back porch of Aunt Cass’s house, relaxing and trying to clear my thoughts.
It has been a manic few hours. My friends from work have called to check on me, and I love them for that, even though I had to lie to them and simply explain that I was not feeling very well.
It is not like I can say:
‘Sorry I cannot come into work today, I found out that my so-called-boyfriend is fucking his ex-girlfriend, and then I got chased on the way home by some car.”
Sipping from my mug, the chamomile is soothing me, calming my stomach from all the somersaults it is doing.
I have been looking back over what my life has been like, and to say I am content with how things have been is an understatement, but a little excitement can be fun. Or so I thought.
I thought starting something with Logan, a freaking biker for crying out loud, would be fun, exciting even. But now, I am rethinking my life choices.
I want to go back to work, family, friends, and Glory.
I feel like a fool.
When we were together it felt right, like we were starting something good, but it seems that he was already starting something new with Val. They have history and that is something that I cannot compete with.
Why is it so hard to find a man who only wants me?
“Hey.” I turn to see Cale walking through the door, a mug of coffee in his hand.
He has changed out of his usual school work attire and is now in jeans and a T-shirt, looking anything but a high school coach.
“Hi.” He sits on the Adirondack chair next to me.
“You good?” I nod with a shrug.
“Good. Good.” He faces forward, shifting in his seat like he is uncomfortable.
I grin, hiding behind my mug and sipping my tea.
We sit in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the view of my aunt’s garden, as Cale does not have a green thumb at all. He would be happy to pour concrete down and make a sports court of some kind.
“So, I know that I am not your father, but I do care for you a lot. You know that, right?” I nod.
“I know. I love you too, Cale. You and Aunt Cass have been there for me when I needed you.”
His eyes glass over as he looks at me. He sniffs, using his thumb and forefinger to squeeze his eyes, chuckling.
“Fucking allergies.”
“Yeah, this time of year is terrible for them.” I giggle.
“Shut it, you.” I giggle louder.
We sit in comfortable silence again, sipping our drinks.
This is what life should be like. Simple, content, and the future ahead of us.
Everything can be taken away so fast that it will make your head spin.
Family is not always about blood, Cale is case in point. This man has only known me for a few years and he has acted more like a father than my bio-dad did. I know that Grady feels the same way.
“So, Cass said that this boy you were dating fucked up. Hurt you,” he states.
I nod. “Maybe. I don’t know.” I shrug, biting my lip.
“I know you, honey; you will want to speak to him to find out for sure. You making assumptions is not something that you do.”
“I know.” I bite the corner of my mouth, my nose burning from unshed tears.
“He told me that there was nothing going on with Valarie. He promised me. I slept with him, Cale. I gave him my virginity and then, Val told me that she had been sleeping with him again. I called him. When I was being chased.” I sniff, licking my dry lips.
My body sags, deflating as I say the words.
“Okay, then what happened?”
“He answered. I went to tell him what was wrong. Then I heard her voice. She was asking him if he knew where her sneakers were. So they must be back together, right? There is no other reason for her to be with him.”
A tear rolls down my cheek and I swiftly swipe it away.
“Want me to release the football guys on him?”
I giggle through a few tears but I shake my head.
“They are high-schoolers, Cale. Crash is a biker, and street wise. Plus, he has the club at his back.”
“Okay, so a bunch of men who rides motorcycles, thinking they are tough guys, taking on broody teenage boys with high hormones, who also think they are tough guys.”
“Exactly. It would be a blood bath.” I laugh. “And a lawsuit.”
He twists his lips, and nods. “Fair— you’ve got me there.”
I shake my head at him, with a look on my face that makes him laugh.
“On a serious note, I am not happy that this punk hurt you, but I will take your lead on it. You say the word.”
Reaching over for his hand, he wraps his big one around mine.
“I love you for that. Thank you, Cale.”
“I love you too, kiddo.”
At that second, Aunt Cass pushes through the door, her face carrying a somber look.
“You have a visitor, Stevie.” Her voice is hard, telling me exactly who is here to see me.
“Do you want me to come with you?” Cale asks, his tone serious.
Pushing to my feet with a sigh, my heart is full that these two people love and support me. Facing Logan needs to be done, I know that, but it doesn't make it any easier.
“No, I need to do this. He won’t hurt me.”
I kiss Cale’s cheek, and then my aunt’s, as I pass. Just a little show of appreciation for their love and support.
Walking through the house, I tuck my hands in the back pockets of my jean shorts, to keep them from fidgeting. With each step I take closer to the door, I take deep breaths to calm myself.
I need to tell him what I heard, then he will go. No doubt back to her.
Biting my lip, I see him through the screen door.
He is pacing back and forth a few steps, his hand gripping the back of his neck— a show of nerves.
What does he have to be nervous about? He is the one lying to me, not the other way around. I can’t help but think he might try and talk his way out of what happened.
He looks good, and hot. The black T-shirt stretches over his shoulders under his cut, the tattoos on his arm glisten with sweat from him being out in the heat.
Damn it, he is a liar and a cheat. I think. Fudge, I do not know.
He must sense me approaching the door, because he suddenly stops. His gaze tracks me as I move closer, my body liking his eyes on me, but my heart knows the score.
“Hi.” I push through the door, stepping over to lean against the small wall.
“Crash.” Something flickers in his gaze when I use his club name.
It seems that a woman using his road name over their legal name is a big thing when it comes to MCs. Most women do not even know their man’s real name until after he claims her.
“What happened? Are you okay?” he rushes out.
“I am fine now. My cousin is handling it,” I explain, crossing my arms and leaning on the door frame.
“Tell me what happened. You sounded scared.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why? You are my girl and you called me freaking the fuck out.” He steps forward.
My posture tightens and he sees it, frowning at me. Shaking my head, I step out onto the porch, needing to move away from him, so I do not reach out and touch him.
“How is Valarie, by the way? Did you help her find her sneakers? Maybe they were under your bed.” My tone comes out snarkier than I would usually use.
“Fuck.” He sighs.
My gut sinks into my bare feet.
The idea of him telling me he slept with her was always a possibility since the phone call. He has a history with Val and that is not something I can compete with. Hell, I do not want to compete with it.
I want to be number one with the man in my life. Like he will be in mine.
“Listen, some shit has gone down but what you heard is not what you think.”
“So, tell me,” I urge.
I want to know the whole story, and it will fester in my mind if he doesn’t tell me. Just like it has since I ended the call. Being scared and heartbroken is a heady mixture of emotions that can spiral out of control.
He sighs deeply, gripping the back of his neck before he looks at me.
“It is club business.”
I scoff, my chest deflating at his words.
“So, I am just supposed to believe you, even though things are stacked against you? Give me some fucking credit, Crash,” I snap, glaring at him.
His eyes soften as he steps forward. “I know, baby, but fuck, this is a fucking mess.”
“Do not call me baby, Not when I called you scared, when I needed you, and you were with your ex-girlfriend and you can’t tell me why.” I shake my head in anger.
Turning away from him and resting my hands on the porch rail, I close my eyes, taking deep calming breaths.
The heat hits my back, and my heart flips in my chest.
“Baby.” He sighs, his hands landing on my hips. I go to move, but he has me trapped.
“Don’t.” My voice is small and I freaking hate it.
Aunt Cass would tell me to pull up my big girl panties and tell Crash to leave, as he just lost the best thing he could have ever had.
“You ghosted me. Stopped returning my calls and texts. Why?” His voice is soft, I almost crumble and lean into his body.
Then I remember, and I scoff before my breath hitches when remembering what Valarie told me about her sleeping with Crash the night before. Just days after taking my virginity.
“Done with me? He is far from done with me, bitch. He was with me last night, sucking on my tits while I rode his cock. My nails were digging into that chest, looking at the tattoo on his collarbone.”
“ Your girlfriend” —I feel sick saying the words— “Thought to inform me that the man I thought I knew, the man who I gave my virginity to, fucked her days after being with me. Even rubbed it in my face that you would never be done with her. History and all that. So excuse me for not wanting to be a part of your history.”
“Why not just come to me instead of jumping to conclusions?” His voice takes on a harder tone and it pisses me off.
“Tell me when I would do that, Crash? You have been busy with the club; we haven’t seen each other in days. Then I get told that. I finally built up the courage to face you, to see if what she said was true. Look where that got me?” I side step him, needing to get away from him.
His body pressed against mine is making my brain fuzzy. He reaches for me but I dodge him.
“You wanted to know, right?” I ask, my tone laced with sarcasm.