Chapter 33
thirty-three
QUYNH
T he drive away from Willowbrook was harder than she thought possible.
The further she drove, the more painful it was.
Almost as if she was leaving her heart behind while her body traveled away from its home.
Her heart and her mind warred with each other, cleaving her apart until she could barely make sense of what was left.
When she crossed over state lines, though, the gut-wrenching sensation of having her heart ripped in half was visceral.
A bloody mess left oozing in her chest. She never realized how painful leaving Griffin would be.
Instead of turning the car around, she soldiered on.
Focused on her navigation app as it directed her back to her old life.
She kept the radio off. She didn’t need to hear anyone else’s heartbreak.
Hers was enough to last her ten lifetimes.
About a few hours away from the city, she pulled over and pretended to fuel up at the gas station while the tears started up again. They finally stopped falling when she was about an hour outside of city limits.
You’re being ridiculous.
She was acting as if she were in love and was leaving him far behind.
Love .
What a scary concept.
Was this love?
A deep sense of dread at the idea of no longer seeing Griffin’s grumpy face or how her life now seemed colorless at the prospect of being on her own. Again.
She missed Griffin more than she should for someone she really only knew for a few weeks.
Was it even possible to love someone in such a short time?
The sex was amazing. Their connection seemed to transcend anything she ever thought was possible. Griffin knew her body better than she did.
The way he seemed to know what she needed, even when she didn’t have a clue. Or how he cooked for her and made sure she always had a full plate of warm food to eat. And the adorable way he’d frown when she didn’t clean her plate, as if he was worried she was too skinny.
She couldn’t forget the way he’d begrudgingly showered Pickles with affection when he thought Quynh wasn’t looking.
Griffin often complained about the cat, but the way he cared for Pickles was in opposition to his grousing.
Beneath his gruff exterior was a heart so big it would swallow her whole if she wasn’t careful.
The thought terrified her.
Can I trust another person with my heart?
Everyone in her life had left her. Her past relationships proved it. Even her aunt and mother left her behind. And her father was close to leaving her behind, too.
Ruth was a different story. Things seemed irredeemable with her, but with time, she hoped there would be a relationship between them. Even if it were a fragile thread holding them together at the moment. She was probably a fool for hoping to be able to nurture a relationship with the prickly woman.
And what about my career?
She had still done nothing to salvage it.
The prospect of returning to a job that was so soul-sucking did not make her happy.
The thought of wasting all those years of school, training, and mountains of student debt overwhelmed her.
It seemed foolish to throw all of it away just because it didn’t make her happy.
When did life become so messy?
Am I better off where I’m headed? Back to the city where I was alone, but life was predictable?
Quynh knew the answer, but she wasn’t ready to acknowledge it.
The sting of Griffin’s betrayal was too fresh. The harsh words Ruth threw at her were just salt to the wound. It was all too much for one person to handle.
She’d turned all of her notifications off so she wouldn’t be distracted while making the eight-hour drive. Quynh needed to be alone. She needed to figure out what she wanted.
It was now or never.