28. Harmony
Harmony
The door to the stairwell slams behind us, and I just pray no one else is here.
Anger pours off of Maddock, and it shouldn’t be so hot. But the second we’re enclosed in the dim, empty space, he throws his arms around me, backing me against the wall, and shivers run through me.
His expression is breathtaking. But for the worst reasons. I shouldn’t enjoy the way it looks like his heart’s breaking. Or how his hands tremble as he takes hold of my wrist, staring at it like his world’s ending.
I want to lie to him just to see what he'll do. He made me wait so long for a bite, so would he wait for me, too?
He spent so much of our relationship being brutally honest. So, will he tell me how he really feels after all these years apart if he knows how deep it goes with Jaxx and my emerging feelings for Everest?
“Harmony.” The way he says my name, the tremble of his throat, how his pheromones seep out of him, it all gets to me. My back straightens, my breath shuddering through me as my heart thumps along with my core. I beg my body not to slick and show him what he’s doing to me.
I miss him so desperately, and feeling his warmth around me makes all those distant feelings come rushing back.
“Tell me what happened. Tell me you haven’t mated with him,” he wheezes through thick breaths.
My eyes flutter closed, my omega senses bubbling at how conflicted he sounds.
“Mated with who?” I ask, my voice thick.
“Jaxx!” he nearly shouts before he catches himself. “Fucking Jaxx. It’s him, isn’t it?”
“I just told you I did this to myself. I haven’t mated with him or anything like that.”
His shoulders heave as he tries to get himself under control. But I want him to go wild. He’s stirring me up and I want him to push me so that he might throw me over his shoulder and drag me back to his hotel room. Or I can just ask him to fuck me here.
My body has been wired since Jaxx helped me, and being so close to Maddock makes everything harder. Especially when he dips his head and a low growl rumbles from him, along with a wash of old leather and firewood that reminds me of home.
I shudder under him, instinctively notching open my legs as I tip my head back. He holds my tender hand so close to his mouth that it would have been easy for him to place his teeth over the mark and bond with me himself.
My eyes shutter closed, trying to escape the mad thoughts. We didn’t come here for this. That’s why we need to talk.
I’ve been running it over nonstop in my head. There are so many things I want to say to him, but I don’t know where to start.
I clear my throat and his body tenses up, and guilt hits me, even though I haven’t said anything.
“But Jaxx and I have scent matched. And we’ve already started bonding.”
I force myself to look at him as I say it. I won’t hide away from the truth, especially when it involves him.
We aren’t in a relationship anymore. It’s been three years, and I don’t have any obligation towards him. If I found out he had another omega when I was about to start filming, I’m not sure if I could hold myself together. Especially if he rejected me as well. But I don’t want to do that to him.
“Dammit, Harmony,” he growls through gritted teeth. “Why the fuck didn't you tell me?”
“Because you're my ex, Maddock. In a way, it's none of your business.”
“You're the one who left me!” he snarls, and I flinch back, knocking against the wall. The guilt at his pain slices through me, but I don’t want him to think I’m scared of him.
I’ve been with alphas worse than him since we broke up.
But just because they were angrier, rougher, or more possessive doesn’t mean what I'd been through with Maddock became anything less.
“Shit, I'm sorry,” he gasps, clenching his eyes, running a hand through his hair. “I'm so fucking sorry. I just don't know how to act now that you're back. I don't know how to be around you when it hurts so fucking much.”
The look he gives me nearly cracks my resolve.
His tension and earnestness are too much. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but it’s like he might actually want to try to listen to me.
“I'm telling you because I want to explore what's here with Jaxx, and I don't want you to find out in a way that might hurt you even more.”
Like if he catches us kissing or we make an announcement to the press or even if Maddock smells my slick on him. And there’s still Everest to talk about as well, though things are a lot more unclear with him.
Maddock's reactions could just be because of his alpha senses, and not his real feelings for me. Maybe he doesn’t want his scent match to be taken away from him, rather than actually caring about me.
“And you don’t think telling me like this might fuck everything up for me?” he asks as he squeezes my hand. “Do you want to bond with him? Is that what I need to expect? That I’m going to spend the rest of my career with you mated to my partner, and I can’t be with you?”
I press my lips together, turning from him, trying to hold it together.
But he catches my chin between rough fingers, asking me to return to him.
“And what about me, Harmony?” he asks, the weight of his words dragging me down. “Is there nothing to explore here?”
I pause, and he switches from squeezing my hand to stroking his thumb across my knuckles like he used to.
An image flutters across my mind of being curled up in bed with the three of them, absolutely sated from hours of making love, all of us sleeping soundly as their scents and pheromones surround me.
I almost purr as the idea sparks my omega senses, urging me towards telling Maddock to just take me right here.
“You remember how perfect it was for us, don’t you?” he asks, bringing himself closer, longing swelling in his voice. “We were so right for each other that we wanted to share a bite within the first week. Do you feel the same way about Jaxx as well?”
I can’t answer him because the three of them are so different. Maddock can take my breath away with one look, Jaxx can set my body on fire with a smirk, and the peace I find with Everest is what I’ve searched for all my life.
“You wouldn’t have told me about Jaxx unless you wanted something from me,” he says carefully. “There’s no reason for you to talk to me unless there is something else going on.”
“I already told you, I—”
“You’re wearing the earrings I gave you when you won the F2 championship.
You only ever wore that shade of lipstick when we were on dates.
You’ve dressed up so elegantly I feel like a fucking troll next to you.
And I know how much you primp and prepare when you really want to make an impact.
I want to know if you did that for me, Harmony.
” He kisses my hand so softly I have to bite my lip to stop my whimper.
“Harmony, please… Don’t tell me you don’t want anything from me when you look so gorgeous that it's taking everything to hold myself back.”
I swallow my groan of need as he edges forward, his hips pressing against mine.
He suddenly releases my chin, yanking at the zip of his suit, tugging at the neck of his body warmer.
“What are you doing?”
My eyes widen as they land on the orange collar of a t-shirt, and I don’t need to see the hedgehog logo. I know instantly it’s from the first amusement park we went to after we matched.
“I still wear it for every race. It's my good-luck charm. I stay safe because I know you're with me when I drive.”
The way his gaze traces me and how his scent surrounds him makes me realize even more strongly that I never stopped loving him. It was just a case of protecting myself from Maddock, who thought everything about me was wrong.
“We broke up for a reason,” I murmur, forcing the words out.
“And it wasn’t because of how we felt about each other.
I tried to tell you what I wanted and needed, but support has never been your forte.
You like taking risks, but that’s only on the track.
Everything else is straight-laced and regimented.
In the end, I knew you would never bond with me. ”
I’m glad he looks like he’s taking time to think about it instead of just firing back another defensive excuse.
“The bite was complicated…”
“You were the only one who needed my Dad’s approval to become my mate. I never asked you for any of that. I loved you , Maddock. Not the future world champion. And it felt like neither of us would change.”
“I can change,” he says so fiercely that I believe him, just like I did in the past when he asked me to wait for him.. “I can change a million times as long as it means I can be with you again. And especially if I know I have to compete with Jaxx,” he says with a growl.
“I don’t want it to be about competing with Jaxx, at least with me. I’m just trying to tell you what might happen in the future.”
“Am I part of that future or not?” Maddock leans in close enough for him to brush his nose against my cheek, and my omega senses sing with how much I need him. “You can't tell me there's nothing here, Harmony. Look at you. I'm not even touching you, and you're perfuming like you're still my omega.”
“Maddock…” I whisper, half begging him to do it, half pleading him to stop.
As soon as he kisses me, all my defenses shatter and I fall into him.
He catches my whimper with his tongue as he slides it across mine, my eyes rolling behind closed lids as the full force of my alpha descends on me.
My nails dig into his thick upper arm as his thumb massages my bite mark, and memories tumble with my pleasure.
The sting of pain matches the way he tugs at my bottom lip with his teeth.
My heart thunders so strongly it’s like the first time we kissed.
We loved each other so deeply, and it burned every day to be apart from him.
My swelling feelings for Jaxx and Everest might one day reach this level, but I can never compare anything to how right it feels to be buried in his arms as he kisses me so passionately that he steals my breath.
I try to shut away how deeply I love him, and I cry out as he breaks the kiss to speak. But I can’t let him, not yet.
We pant as we watch each other; the question hanging between us: how far is this going to go?
I groan as I grab the front of his suit, pulling him back to me.
He gasps, and I swallow it down as I bend my hips to rub against him.
The scent of my slick blends with his pheromones, and I don’t know how I managed three years without him.
It doesn’t matter that we’d broken up that long ago. My body still says I’m his.
I need him to go further. I have to feel him inside me. I missed him so desperately I don’t care if we’re caught fucking in a stairwell as long as I can feel him again.
A deep growl rumbles from him as he pulls back. I’m left gasping and whining as he brings my aching hand to his lips.
Heat shudders through me as he presses a kiss against the bite mark, never breaking his heavy stare as he places his teeth over the mark. My small bite vanishes under his wide lips, and both of us moan as he traces it with his tongue.
“Maddock, that's…” I press my other hand against his shoulder, my ass naturally curving out, presenting as my alpha sucks on me.
If he offers a bite now, I’m not sure I’m strong enough to say no.
I don’t want to pull my hand away from his. It’s so good to touch him again, like nothing has changed. Even if he’s interrogating me, his grip’s still soft, like he wants to be careful with me even when he’s so tense.
“This bite means nothing unless I'm the one who does it. Even if Jaxx is your scent match, I'm the one you love—you loved.” He quickly corrects himself with a dark growl.
I can’t stop my sigh as I deflate against him. I have to force myself to draw a line. The way he speaks is so insanely sexy that he could fuck me right here and I wouldn't stop him.
“It's not enough, Maddock. You can growl and snap as much as you want, but it won't change anything between us unless you actually want to change yourself.
And it's been too long,” I say, gently easing my hand from his hard grip.
“Do you actually want to get to know each other again?” I ask, feeling more nervous than I have in years.
“I want what we had. I want to be with you again like we used to be.”
I press my lips together, trying not to be disappointed. He didn't understand why I left back then, so why would he understand now?
“You need to go to the podium,” I murmur. “Go and celebrate your win.” So I can find space to process everything we’ve talked about.
His snarl sends shockwaves through my body as he backs away, and his nostrils flare as more slick builds in me.
“Just remember you're the one cutting this conversation short. I'll always be ready for you. You just need to come and find me,” he says as he grabs the door handle.
As the bang of the door echoes behind him, I realize I haven’t told him about Everest.