37. Harmony
Harmony
I’m not sure which way my life is going anymore. A few weeks ago, all I had to worry about was being accused of being a stalker while also being stalked by paparazzi. Now I have three scent matches to deal with and a life-changing decision to make.
It’s been ten days since we left Texas, and I feel like I’m going wild as I bounce between so many different emotions. I spent a week with the other actors and threw myself into training in the VR rooms and on the Grace track.
I mumble to myself as I lean over my script.
We were given the final copy in Texas, and we’ll begin table reading after the charity race, but I want to make sure I’m completely up to date on it.
I want to sit down at that table and read my lines flawlessly so the snooty actors who are only playing background characters can’t criticize me for being a nepo baby, or flirting all the time.
They have photos of me and Maddock outside his car and post-race, and even just talking in the garage. They have shots of Jaxx and I after a race, and when we were out clubbing. They even got photos of us in his hotel lobby.
The only person who is safe is Everest, and I want to make sure it stays that way.
I don’t want to drag him into my world. From what I can tell of his personality, just being on camera makes Everest nervous. I’d hate it if paparazzi follow him as well. He doesn’t deserve that just because I’m leaning on him for comfort.
Though I can’t exactly say it’s just comfort when I can’t forget the way we’d made love. And it's worse because he's acting like nothing happened. He's business as usual, but I can't sit still. Thankfully, I’m sitting behind him again, and I can just try to focus on the scene I’m reading.
I've been longing for him, Jaxx, and Maddock all week, but I'm put out that Everest seems to be fine. It’s the first time I’ve felt awkward around him.
Because I’m so insanely aware of him as he kneels down in front of Maddock’s car, his trousers stretched over his ass, his polo shirt straining over his wide shoulders as he stares at the car with the same intensity that he had with my pussy.
Everest says he needs to do extra work on the car, and that he has to focus even harder. Which means he hasn’t looked at me once since he put a coffee cup in my hands, gave me a fresh jacket, and got to work.
I just have to pretend it’s okay. I came here to talk about what happened, and open up to him about Jaxx and Maddock. And to ask him what he wants to do in the future because, after having sex like that, I really don’t have a clue. But if he's busy, I can wait.
I thought I didn’t want a pack, but Jaxx and Everest have made everything feel so alive and perfect that I’m wavering, even though there’s no plausible way we can make it work.
I sit with him for nearly an hour, and my ass is growing numb, but I don’t want to move. It feels as if I do anything, it might startle him. And I’ve disrupted him enough already since I joined the tour.
As I reach the crescendo of the script, the big moment where my character is about to launch herself into her final race. She had a bad accident near the start of the movie, and her wrist is damaged, but her mother is dying and she needs the prize money to save her.
It’s all very dramatic, and it will let me stretch my acting muscles. For the past few years I’ve focused on action roles that needed more shouting than crying, and the audience wasn’t looking for depth.
I was surprised when I first read the script, but I liked the direction it was going, except it’s hard to drum up the emotion I need to practice when I have to read the male lead’s part as well.
I become so engrossed with it that it’s only when Everest clears his throat that I realize he’s standing right over me.
“Sorry, am I being too loud?” I ask with a sheepish grin.
“No, but you don’t look comfortable,” he says, holding out his hand.
I’m not sure what he’s talking about, so I place my hand in his, loving the way he instantly blushes and snaps it back.
“I mean, give me your script,” he mumbles. “I’ll help you.”
My eyes widen as I tentatively hand it over. I never expected Everest to be the one who would help me out.
“Are you sure? You don’t have to do anything more than read the lines. You can be completely flat and monotone if you like—I basically just need someone to bounce off of.”
He nods, pulling over another high stool, adjusting himself to sit in front of me.
“What do I do?” he asks.
“So, we’re at a restaurant. My character has just beaten your character in a race, and he’s really annoyed about it. And the final race is coming. We had sex a few times in the past. We both love each other and want something more, but we also have our traumas, so it’s hard to admit, okay?”
He nods earnestly, and I suddenly don’t care about my lines, because my alpha is leaning closer to me, and he looks like he’s about to do whatever I tell him.
And all I can think about is what kind of face he might make if I got on my knees and face-planted in his crotch for real.
I squeeze my nails into my palm to stop myself from jumping on him. He offered to help me, and I need to focus on that instead of how horny I am just having him near me.
It’s like a switch has been flicked and, now that we've kissed, he’s become irresistible, and the only reason I have focused so hard on my lines is to make sure I don’t interfere with his checks as much as I do already.
“I need you to start with this line. This is the bit I'm struggling with.” I take a chance and lean forward, brushing my hair against his cheek as I point to the male lead's line half-way down the page.
The way Everest sucks in a breath is amazing, and it’s so hard not to slap my hands on his shoulders and just mount him.
From the look in his eye when I pull back, I don’t think he'd stop me.
But, we'd already taken such a huge risk when the three of us had sex in the garage before. I don’t want to put him in that kind of danger again.
“Are you ready?” I ask him, and he nods again.
I’m pretty sure his nods are going to become my new favorite thing.
He draws in a deep breath, and reads the first line.
“Why did you come here if it wasn't for me?” he asks, and I have to hold back my smile at how his hands tremble. Even though it’s just the two of us, I love that he’s nervous.
I can feel him putting in effort to be natural, and the way he tries makes it mean so much more.
“None of this was ever about you,” I say, my voice strained. “I need this race. I need to win this. I have to prove that I deserve to be behind the wheel.”
Everest watches me intensely, waiting for me to muster up enough emotion for my next line.
Even speaking the words out with him fills my heart with love as I let myself sink into the character and the depth of them. It’s like I stand in front of a two-way mirror. On one side is my character, and on the other is me, and all I have to do is step through the glass and become her.
I absorb her emotions, sink into her feelings and balance myself between the pane of glass, so that there’s no separation between us, but I’m still whole.
“And you never asked me to stay,” I say, pushing that extra drop of pain into my voice. “So why would I come back?”
I never told anyone that these scenes were easy for me because I missed Maddock so deeply. I could play the heartbroken female lead because the memories of leaving him were etched into my body.
I can’t say not a day goes by without me thinking of him, but the pain is still raw enough that I choke out before I say my next line.
“But you must be here for a reason. You can’t step into a car and race like that and tell me you weren’t thinking of me,” Everest says.
“I don’t race for you. I’m here to win, and if you get in my way, I won’t hold back. Just like you never did all those years ago.” I press my lips hard together like I’m stemming my tears, a shake going through my body.
“That’s not true. I wanted you to be happy. And I thought I could give you that,” he says, his head snapping up to look at me.
“But, you never trusted me…” I whisper, a single tear falling down my cheek.
It took me a year to perfect that skill.
“You never asked me what I wanted to do. You took control of this,” I beat my hand against my heart, “and took it away from me…” I cut myself off, looking away from him as I choke out a sob.
I tremble, my breaths speeding up, hunching over my shoulders like I’m already crying. The actor playing the male lead is good at large, dramatic scenes, but I’m interested to see if he can carry something more subtle.
I wait for my next line, preparing myself to shout back at Everest, and to let my voice crack, but nothing’s coming.
Peeking out of the corner of my eye, my heart freefalls at the look on Everest’s face.
He looks devastated, the thick script crumpling in his large, shaking hands. Stuck on the edge of his seat, I think he’s going to cry himself.
“Everest?” I say, twisting on my stool to face him properly. “What’s wrong?”
He suddenly shoots off his seat, flying towards me, throwing his arms around my neck, and pulling me tight. His heart is thundering so loudly it’s like it echoes through my head, and he’s almost rasping.
It’s the same panic he showed when he spilled coffee on me, like he’s terrified I’ve been hurt.
“Everest, what’s going on?” I ask, gently stroking down his arms to ease him away so I can look up at him.
He looks so awkward and stressed that I want to laugh. But that would be cruel when he is panicking.
“Everest, I’m okay. It’s just acting. See?” I wipe away my tears, giving him a smile. “It’s just part of my role.”
But his chest is still heaving, and I’m so touched that he’s worried that I wrap my arms around his lower back, pulling him in close.
“Thank you,” I hum, a gentle smile on my face as I rub my cheek against his chest. “You really are so sweet.”
I tip my head back to look at him, and my breath catches as I realize how close he is.
He must feel it too, because his hands clench into fists against my back.
“Everest,” I murmur as his pheromones wash over me, and his pine and fresh rainwater scent instantly soothe me.
I sigh, my scent joining his as he bends down closer.
“Are you going to do it?” I ask, my voice thick and sultry.
His tongue darts across his lips, and I can already taste him. But he won’t lower that last inch, so I grab the collar of his lycra vest, tugging at him, making him come to me.
He gasps as he tips forward, but there’s no avoiding me as I capture his lips, pulling him into a kiss.
He freezes under me as I moan, and I love how quickly he catches himself.
In moments, I’ve spread my legs on the stool, and he’s slotted himself between them.
His pheromones wrap around me, and I scent mark him, trapping him between my thighs as I roll my hips, and perfume rises from me.
It feels so right to kiss him again, and I soften for him as he takes the lead.
His tongue sweeps mine, and my whole body vibrates with pleasure as I cling to him.
He could take me right here, and I wouldn't stop him.
But he eases back from me, panting, his cheeks pink as he keeps clinging to me.
I love how heavy his gaze is when it’s filled with lust. I want him to launch himself at me as he's taken over by his desire.
But I break into a grin as he awkwardly pats me on the head, though his hand is still trembling.
“As long as you’re okay,” he says stiffly.
I lean forward, rubbing my ear against his chest as I hug him tightly.
“And you need to be okay as well. I’ll make sure not to choose those scenes if you ever want to help me practice again.”
“I just didn’t think it would feel so real,” he murmurs.
“I’m really good at this, Everest. There’s a reason I’ve won so many awards. I worked as hard at acting as I did with racing.”
“Are you really okay?” he asks, easing me back so he can look at me.
“You know what would make me feel better?” I say with a purr, tugging at his shirt again.
I love that he looks surprised whenever I do something like this, and I hope he will keep doing it. As I pull him back to my lips, I know for sure I want Everest to stay in my life.