44. Jaxx
Jaxx
“Just focus on yourself, Jaxx.” Which means yes.
He isn’t even trying. I can’t see him and I don’t know for sure, but every time I ask my engineer what’s going on, I keep getting the same answers.
I need to do something. He literally just needs to finish in fourth to get the championship. And he can still pull ahead, but he needs a kick up the ass.
I can’t get over the pure fear that ripped through me as soon as we heard that first screech of Harmony's tires. It was like I had something constantly stabbing my heart, like if I wasn’t with my omega, she might be hurt.
My grand speech was for me as well as Maddock, because what the hell would I do if any of us crashed?
I kept trying to tell Everest it was okay at the hospital, but I can’t deal with that kind of fear.
I can’t let it stop me, or stop any of us.
It took me months to get back into a car after Carl died, and only because he’d asked me to in his will.
And I can do the same here. Because Harmony is watching.
I growl low to myself, knowing that what I’m about to do is so dumb that I’m going to get absolutely hounded by Jacob, and probably Viktor and Mr Grace as well.
As we fly down the straight, I check out P3. I can do it casually, gently taking my foot off of the accelerator, easing off to the left, just happening to slow down enough so that P3 swerves around and takes off.
“Jaxx, you're losing speed. What the hell is going on?” My engineer’s panic beats through my earphones.
“Oh, I don’t know!” I say in a tone that tells him I know exactly what I’m doing. “But it looks like Maddock is influencing my driving! I don’t know if I can stay in P3 when my poor teammate is so far away from me.”
Jacob’s voice bursts through the comms. “Jaxx, what the fuck are you doing?”
“Hey, boss. Pass along a message to Maddock, would you?”
“I’m sick of being a fucking delivery boy. I’m your Team Principal!”
He really loves mouthing off. We never know when the live show might switch to us, though we are definitely one of the teams the broadcasters avoid highlighting because Jacob and Maddock have such a fruity repertoire.
“Alright, but P4 is gaining on me pretty quickly, and my foot is getting tired.” I sigh dramatically. “It’s such a hard life when all I can think about is how lonely Maddock must be all the way back there.”
“Jaxx, you must be joking.” I like it when English team members get annoyed, especially my engineer and Jacob. Their accents are all posh and well to-do, until they start swearing.
I’ve never done anything like this before. The sponsors and the board like me because I’m so reliable, and I'm putting myself at risk with the FIA by pulling a stunt like this. It isn’t like it’s easy to regain a position once I’ve lost it.
“Just tell Maddock to remember what we talked about earlier. He’ll know what I mean.”
“Jaxx—”
“P4’s coming in hot, Jacob. I wouldn’t want to lose my focus now, would I?”
He snarls, but I tune him out in my head.
I sort of want to wait until I can see Maddock again and then herd him like a sheepdog to get him back up to the top three. Then he’d really want to pack up with me.
I promised my lovely omega that I’d drive freely and let myself go. I told her I would race like I was born to race, instead of controlled and calculated, but I just can’t take the risk when we might lose not only the championship, but the constructors title.
Plus, we only have twenty-five laps to make up the positions we’re losing.
I keep myself steadily in front of the Cuba Libre in P4, not giving them a single opening as we speed towards a chicane.
At my speed, I can enter it flawlessly, and I love the way the car turns under the steering wheel.
But the Libre has to slam his breaks. He comes in too fast, and it gives me the advantage.
My engine roars as I fire into the straight. Even just looking in my mirror to see what is happening is a risk at this speed, but I keep at it until I finally see the nose of Maddock's car.
I can’t keep looking at him when we’re still tight on the track. I don’t let P3 get too far ahead. I can still overtake him as soon as Maddock catches up.
And I burst into a grin as I see him smash past P5, and come hurtling through the chicane to get to the Libre.
“That’s more like it,” I rumble in approval as I put my foot down. I really hope he’s annoyed enough to climb through the positions, because I’m not going across that finish line unless Maddock is with me.
I just wish Harmony was out there so we could see her. I bet if we knew we were passing her every single time we went around the track, Maddock would pick it up. Even just because he’s embarrassed about his trash driving.
Not that P6 is ever bad. It’s a mix of luck and skill to keep ourselves so far ahead. But it won’t pay off if he doesn’t get a freaking move on.
I need to focus on myself, and we’re swinging into some hard corners.
I bite my lip as we swing into a sharp corner. I need to change up my strategy. No more falling behind just to annoy Maddock. He’s still gaining fast, and I hope the idea of us losing is enough to sort him out.
“Okay, sweetheart, here we go.”
“What?” my engineer replies.
“What?” I reply, pretending I hadn’t said anything.
I said I’d drive how she wanted me to, and it’s time to push.
I always admired how hard Carl could go; he'd hurl himself into a race with everything he had. So it’s time to put my foot down and have some fun.
There’s nothing stopping me anymore. As soon as I surge ahead of P1, everyone else fades away and it’s just me and the track.
I even stop trying to copy other people’s moves and think logically about where I need to be to block P2. I just go for it.
I've always worried about my battery, fuel, and potential damage, but this time I fly along the track like a dove.
I don’t care that I’m in the speed trap. I surge around the corner, soaring so far that nothing can catch me.
Those two long straights are the best place to ruin my tires and drain my fuel and battery, but who cares when I’m ten seconds ahead of everyone else and we’re coming into our last lap? It’s the corners I crave.
As soon as I get through the ninety degree turn, it’s my time to shine. No one’s going to touch me now.
“Where’s Maddock?” I ask for the eighteenth time since the race started.
My engineer’s already ruffled after the stunt I pulled earlier, but with the engine screaming through my body, the wind rushing around me, I can take it.
They can be as angsty as they want, as long as we get that nice, shiny trophy at the end of it.
“He’s still in P3. So hold your fucking position.”
“Yes, sir,” I say, grinning as I edge the pedal, my engine roars, and I absolutely go for it. I don’t like full speed because of what had happened to Carl, but the straight is just too tempting.
Especially when I fly under the lights and my engineer says the words I’ve been hoping to hear.
“Last lap. You're in P1. 6.49 ahead.”
The fastest lap time record for Silverstone is 1:27, and it’s killing me not to ask my engineer how I’m doing.
So, instead of trying to think, or plan, or plot, the only thing in my mind is Harmony’s smile, and the track.
The next sharp turn is coming in hot. Rather than my alpha senses, it’s my instinct as a driver that tells when to brake, and I let myself go into it.
“I hope she’s watching this,” I murmur as I slow the car, keeping myself fixed on the sharp corner, and yell out as I glide into it like a freaking pro.
The flow of the car is perfect as I get around the left corner before slamming the brakes, forcing the steering wheel right, my car and I yelling as we hurtle into the next before firing off into another straight.
“We got a warning for your suspension, Jaxx! I can't believe I’m saying this to you, but don’t do anything stupid.”
But I just laugh with my foot to the floor focusing on that sweet, sweet ninety-degree turn that comes ten seconds later and has my brakes squealing as I burn through it.
Yeah, this is what my omega was talking about. No worrying about Maddock or other drivers, nothing to stop me hurling myself into the race. I can already see the checkered flag in my mind, I just have to go for it.
One ninety degree turn, a hard left in the switchback, and I clench my teeth as I hit one more ninety.
Silverstone is a technical track. Some tracks are there for speed, but Silverstone demands more. A driver needs precision, and I can deliver.
I’m nearly there. I’m so close I can’t even believe it.
I can just see a Valkyrie in P2 gaining on me fast. If I’m right, it’s Runa, who’s a wildcat on the corners, but it’s too late.
I’m rewarded for getting through the first hairpin by a straight that lets me climb through the gears and gets me up to 250kmph. The vibrations of the car hum through my body as my excitement explodes.
Even though I’ve slowed down to handle the second hairpin of the track, there’s no way she’s catching me.
My heart soaring, my throat dry, my hands tremble. I just have to focus.
But I slide through the wide curves and long straights of Sectors 2 and 3 until I'm storming towards those last two ninety-degree turns before the finish line.
Nerves burst through me and my hands ache from gripping the wheel so hard.
“Just go for it, Jaxx!” my engineer shouts as I shoot through both turns.
And I don’t let anything stop me. Like when I’m riding horses back on the ranch, my car doesn’t need to be told. It’s built to run, and one tap of the pedal has us racing.
It’s seconds away. That black and white checkered flag flutters like ocean waves as I speed past.
The road stretches out in front of us as I see thousands of people jumping and waving in the stands, but they’re all a blur as I fire under the lights. My shouts burn in my ears and fade away as shock takes me over.
I never thought I'd get here. I never wanted to get here. But I’m finally starting to keep my promise to Carl.
I need to get back to the grid. Maddock and I have to find her and Everest.
It doesn’t matter that I’m on top of the world. It means nothing if I’m not celebrating with my pack.