18. Malik
“ F uck,” I said as Sametra snatched away from me in the hospital parking lot.
My baby was hotter than fish grease and I understood, but she wouldn’t even let me speak.
I had turned my badge and access cards in, cleaned out my desk because to be honest, even if St. Ambrose said I could come back, I wouldn’t.
I planned to take this as a sign that it was time to get into the private sector full-time. Fuck ‘em. Their loss.
Sametra parked in her driveway and so did I. She was walking so fast to get into the house, her heels clicking against the pavement like gunshots. She slammed the screen door in my face, and I groaned.
“Baby.”
“Don’t fucking baby me. You made me look like a fool. You knew and said nothing.”
I followed her inside, watching her pace back and forth in the living room like a caged animal. Her dress was wrinkled from gripping the steering wheel, her makeup smudged from crying, and she looked ready to throw something.
“What was I supposed to say, Sametra? Your bum-ass baby daddy watched me make love to you and submitted photos because I refused to give him fifty grand?”
“Yeah, exactly like that. Don’t try and make me out to be crazy.”
We stood there looking at each other for a while as she allowed the words to hit her damn brain.
“Wait, this was Ashe?”
“Yes, I was handling it. I wanted you to focus on school and Samaj.”
She whipped around to face me, her eyes blazing. “Handling it? By keeping me in the dark while someone violated our privacy. While they took pictures of us in your bedroom? And who is the other bitch?”
“I didn’t want you stressed.”
“Stressed?” She laughed, but there was no humor in it. “I’m stressed now, Malik! I just got humiliated in front of strangers who had intimate photos of me. Photos I didn’t even know existed!”
I reached for her, but she backed away. “Sametra, listen to me. I was protecting you.”
“Protecting me? Or protecting yourself? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you were more worried about controlling the situation than trusting me enough to be honest.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Fair?” Her voice cracked. “Fair would’ve been giving me a choice. Fair would’ve been letting me decide how to handle threats against my own shit, my own privacy.”
The front door opened, and Samaj walked in, moving much better. He took one look at us and stopped.
“What’s going on?” he asked, his eyes moving between his mother’s tear-streaked face and my defensive posture.
“Ask him,” Sametra said, pointing at me. “Ask him about all the secrets he’s been keeping while playing house with us.”
I saw the moment Samaj’s expression changed. The confusion gave way to something else, understanding, maybe guilt. He knew our conversation in Alabama had followed us home.
Which pissed me off even more, because I’d told myself when we got back from Alabama that I would go to HR myself and report our relationship, deal with whatever consequences came from it.
But I’d thought I had time since Ashe was laid up in the hospital recovering from his beating.
I thought wrong. That motherfucker had never planned on keeping quiet; he’d probably submitted those reports the moment he left my spot on some hating ass bitter shit.
And then telling them I assaulted him, on some bitch shit.
“Ma—” he started.
“Don’t.” She held up her hand. “I can’t deal with you defending him right now, Samaj.”
“I’m not defending anybody. I’m just saying maybe you should hear him out.”
“Hear him out?” Sametra’s voice was getting higher. “Your ain’t shit, father was stalking us, taking pictures of us, and this man knew about it and said nothing. What else is there to hear?”
“We were trying to protect you,” Samaj said quietly. I appreciated him trying to take some of the heat. But I was going to be in the doghouse, I already knew the deal.
The room went dead silent. I watched Sametra’s face change as she processed what her son had just said. I closed my eyes, preparing for the wrath I knew was coming.
“We?” she whispered. “You knew too?”
Samaj looked at me, then back at his mother. “He told me in Alabama. About the blackmail, about what Ashe was trying to do.”
“You both knew.” Her voice was barely audible now. “You both knew and decided to keep me out of it.”
“Ma, it wasn’t like that.”
“Get out.” She was looking at me now, her voice steady but deadly quiet. “Both of you. Get out of my house.”
“Sametra…pl…”
“GET OUT!”
I’d never heard her scream like that before. It cut through me like a blade but for some reason, I was aroused as fuck. She looked so damn sexy mad, brewing. Gah damn. I rubbed the back of neck trying to calm down before I yoked her ass up and took her upstairs to her bedroom.
“Ma, you’re overreacting,” Samaj said, but even he sounded uncertain now. Her phone rang and she silenced it immediately.
“Where am I supposed to go?”
“Go with him for all I care, since that’s where your loyalty is. I can’t believe you two.”
“You’re definitely overreacting,” he said, brushing his hand down his waves with a dismissive chuckle. He didn’t know any better, didn’t understand he was digging himself deeper.
“Overreacting?” She whirled on him, ready to tear his head off. “My own son and the man I love decided I couldn’t handle the truth about my own life. That I needed to be managed and protected like a child. You call that overreacting?”
“None of this would be happening if it weren’t for me. This is my fault. Just like the accident was my fault. Maybe I should just go,” he said, his voice breaking slightly.
I almost got whiplash turning to look at him. I couldn’t let him take the blame for shit that had nothing to do with him.
I stepped forward, putting myself between him and his mother’s anger. We needed a man-to-man moment. Samaj was tall, but not as tall as me. I was able to look him directly in the eyes.
“We’re not doing that. Stick with your mother, Samaj. I told you that before, and I mean it now. She’s upset, and we gon’ let her have that. But this is not your fault. This is for me to fix and you have my word I will.”
“Aight,” he said quietly as I patted the back of his head.
“What?” Sametra looked between us, her face crumbling with fresh hurt. “What the hell kind of conversation did you two have?”
“The kind where we decided to handle a problem so you wouldn’t have to worry about it,” I said, my own anger finally showing. “The kind where we put your peace of mind above everything else.”
“You think I have peace of mind now? You think finding out like this was better?”
“Honestly? Yeah, I do. Because the alternative was telling you that your baby daddy was stalking us, taking pictures of us in bed, threatening to destroy my career if I didn’t pay him.
You think you needed that stress while starting school?
You think I wanted you looking over your shoulder. Fuck no.”
“I needed the truth!”
“The truth is ugly, Sametra. The truth is, I would’ve killed him to protect you and taken that shit to my grave, just so you could sleep comfortably in pure bliss at night.”
She stepped back like I’d slapped her. “Killed him?”
“If that’s what it took? Yeah.” I turned to look at Samaj, then back at her.
“And honestly, it’s still on the table. Maj, forgive me,” I said, voice tight.
“But that nigga? He’s a fucking peon. The gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The lint at the bottom of your purse. Scum of the Earth.
Not even worthy of breathing the same air as you.
I’m pissed off that he’s still breathing.
When it should’ve been handled before it got to this point.
But I was worried about what you would think of me. But I don’t give a fuck now.”
I could feel the heat rising in my chest all over again.
“So, you a murderer now?” she asked scoffing.
“He’s got four other kids. A wife. Never said a word. Played in Samaj’s face like that shit was normal. Like y’all were disposable. Fuck that nigga. He better pray somebody gets to him before I do, because my shit is blown all the way up right now.”
The silence that followed was thick. Uncomfortable. Necessary.
I could see it all flicker across her face, the shock, the rage, the weight of what I’d said and what I meant. She was trying to make sense of the violation, of the venom I still had for that man, and the very real violence I was capable of.
And Samaj... he’d heard all of it. I hated that part the most. I never wanted to speak like that in front of him. Never wanted him to hear me talk to his mama like this. But I couldn’t lie. Not about this. Not about that fucking loser. Not when it came to them.
“Get out,” she said again, but quieter this time. “I need you to leave.”
“Ma—” Samaj started. Her phone rang again, and I was getting frustrated. Why wasn’t she answering her damn phone?
“Please.” Her voice broke. “I just need to think.”
I looked at my son, because that’s what he was to me now, and saw my own frustration reflected in his face. We’d tried to protect her and ended up hurting her worse.
“I love you,” I said to Sametra. “That’s never going to change. I fucked up. I know that.”
“Love isn’t supposed to come with a side of lies,” she replied, not looking at me.
“Maybe, but my type of love also doesn’t allow anyone to violate what’s mine and get away with it. The last thing I wanted was for Savior Sametra to show up, go into debt paying that bum when his rightful place is in a pine box. I warned that nigga.”
Her phone went off again. “Answer that damn phone,” I yelled before gripping the bridge of my nose because a side of us that we’d never dealt with was present, the ugly side where we both got protective and stubborn.
“Hello, damn!” she screamed into the phone before putting it on speaker and tossing it on the island.