19. Sametra #2
“I was going to be quiet, I was going to be team Sametra, because I’m a girl’s girl.
And you, my girl, but if he had told you, you would have done what?
Been ready to burn this city down? Pay Ashe?
Call the police? Stress eat? Why would the man who loves you and has made that clear from day one want you on that type of time?
That’s the energy you need and the energy you wanted.
Don’t get scared now because his scrubs and degrees fooled you into thinking he was soft.
That’s a man who learned how to protect by taking care of his mother years ago.
Don’t lose out on something real because you’re confused about what a man is supposed to do. ”
I stared at her, my mouth hanging open. “Halo…”
“Nah, let me finish.” She leaned forward, her voice getting more intense.
“You had a man who ran when things got hard. Now you’ve got one who’s willing to fight for you, and you’re mad because he fought too hard?
Make it make sense. Ashe is a parasite and should be dealt with accordingly Flush em’. ”
Winnie nodded slowly. “She’s got a point, MiMi. I’m not saying he was right to keep secrets, but his heart was in the right place.”
“So, I’m supposed to just forgive him? Just like that?” I felt my defenses rising.
“No,” Halo said firmly. “You’re supposed to have the conversation. Tell him how it made you feel, set your boundaries, and figure out how to move forward together. Use some of that schooling, baby.”
Winnie added with a grin, “You’re carrying his baby. That man is not going anywhere. He’s probably sitting at home right now figuring out how to show you more than he can tell you.”
Despite everything, I laughed. “He did send me the sweetest text last night.”
“Tell his ass that in order to get that old thing back, literally, he needs to hand Davinci Bryns over to your friend Halo Sampson.”
“Hoe, please, ain’t nothing old over here.”
“What about me?” Winnie asked, pretending to pout, although she was very married.
“What about you, Winnie?” Halo asked with a laugh.
Halo had not stopped going on and on about the man since I came from that damn game. I’d never seen her have such an obvious crush. I knew she was a fan, but Halo did not like men; she felt most were worthless or pretending to be more than what they were. She boned and bailed.
“Y’all gotta relax. That man is not thinking about dating. He just signed that big contract, and I heard he’s got a whole situation. One on the tip that won’t slip, and she ain’t wrapped too tight.”
“Neither am I,” Halo shrugged. And I snorted. She was so damn crazy. “Anyway, back to you. When are you going to break the news to your parents?”
“Honestly? I just want to text them and then go back to bed. I’m back at school tomorrow, and I’m already tired thinking about it. I’m scared.”
“About the baby?”
“Yeah. I’m thirty-seven, I was almost done raising one kid, and what if this interferes with school? I just felt like I was starting to accomplish something for myself.”
“Do you have a decision to make, sis? You finna hit a fetus deletus? I’m always down for a trip.”
“Girl, that man would kill me, and no, never. I feel blessed to be pregnant. I’m going to get over myself and stop being dramatic at some point. Just not today. Give me love,” I said as they came around the table and smothered me with hugs and laughs.
“You’re going to be fine, mama,” Winnie whispered in my ear. “And so is that baby. And so is your relationship with Malik once y’all stop being stubborn.”
“I love y’all so much,” I said, feeling lighter for the first time since yesterday. “Thank you for coming over, feeding me, and talking sense into me.”
“That’s what we’re here for,” Halo said, squeezing me tighter. “Now, let’s figure out how you’re going to tell your daddy he’s about to be a granddaddy again.”
“I kinda want to do one of those cute announcements. You know they weren’t doing that back in the day.”
“Ouu, do the cute little onsie. Mr. Three Names himself is going to flip and expect a proposal soon after. Yeah, you’d better keep this a secret for a while.”
“Girl, I’m telling him you made fun of him having three first names. I hope he bans your ass from Sheena’s. And I go back in four weeks. I’ll tell him then.”
“Call him,” Halo urged, nodding toward my phone.
Halo and Winnie hugged me again, and we started to clean up so they could go. I was feeling better, clearer about what I needed to do.
After they left, I sat on my couch staring at my phone for a long time before finally typing out a message.
Me: My next appointment is August 21st at 11:30 AM
The response came back almost immediately.
Rommy: Damn, I’m in the doghouse for four weeks?
Me: Just didn’t want you out of the loop.
Rommy: Can I pick you up and then take you for food after?
I stared at the message, my finger hovering over the keyboard. Part of me wanted to say yes immediately, wanted to feel his arms around me, and pretend yesterday never happened. But the other part knew we needed to have some hard conversations first.
Me: We’ll see how I’m feeling that day.
Rommy: Fair enough. Thank you for including me.
Me: It’s your baby, too.
Rommy: And you’re my woman. That hasn’t changed for me. Don’t piss me off, Sametra.
Me: It’s better to be pissed off than pissed on!
Rommy: Did my mama teach your city slickin’ ass that? Thats her favorite phrase.
Me: Maybe. Talk soon.
My heart did that familiar flutter, and I had to set the phone down before I said something I wasn’t ready to say yet.
My phone rang and I thought it was Malik calling.
I was surprised when I saw it was Ms. Yolanda, though I probably shouldn’t have been.
Malik and his mom were incredibly close; he’d probably told her everything the day it happened.
“Hey, sweetheart,” her warm voice came through the phone, and I immediately felt some of the tension leave my shoulders.
“Hi, Ms. Yolanda. How are you?”
“I’m fine, baby, but I’m calling to check on you. That hardheaded son of mine told me what happened.”
I sank onto my couch, suddenly feeling exhausted. “I’m sorry he dragged you into this.”
“Stop right there,” she interrupted gently but firmly. “Nobody dragged me into anything. I asked, and I’m probably overstepping by calling. But I’m grown and do what I want to. Earned that.”
“No, never. You’re not overstepping.” I tucked my legs under me. “I’m sure you’re going to tell me what my friends did, that I’m being dramatic.”
“Sametra, honey, I raised that boy better than to keep secrets from the woman he loves. And I told him as much when he called me crying about losing you.” Her voice got softer.
“So no, I won’t be telling you you’re dramatic.
But I also know his heart was in the right place, even if his head wasn’t. Two things can be true.”
I felt tears prick my eyes. “I just feel so betrayed. Like he didn’t trust me. Strangers saw me naked. I’m pregnant. Everything is a mess.” I was starting to sound like a broken record.
“I know, baby. And you have every right to feel that way. That man needs to learn that protecting you doesn’t mean making decisions for you.” She paused. “But don’t let his mistake make you forget what y’all have together. What I saw in Alabama? That was real love.”
“I know it was. I just... I’m scared, Ms. Yolanda. What if this is who he is? What if he always thinks he knows better?”
“Then you teach him different. You two are both in unfamiliar territory, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, we are. It’s been well over seventeen years since I had to be a girlfriend and even consider letting someone protect me.”
“Okay, so a little grit and grace will go a long way. I never understood the idea of not teaching a man something as important as how to love you properly. Love is not one size fits all, and closed mouths don’t get fed.
Tell him what you want, need, and what you will and won’t accept.
It’s a learning moment for you both.” Her voice brightened. “Now, how’s my grandbaby?”
“Tired. Nauseous. Making me cry at commercials,” I said with a watery laugh. “I’m pretty sure our sweet pea is a girl.”
“Sounds about right. That means everything’s working like it should. I love you both, and this too shall pass. And go ahead and start on the cocoa butter. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“Yes, ma’am. Thank you for calling. I needed to hear this.”
“That’s what mothers are for baby. And I know I’m not your mother, but I am your mother in love, so you can call me anytime for anything. Talk soon.”
After we hung up, I sat there for a long time, Ms. Yolanda’s words echoing in my mind. A little grit and grace will go a long way. She was right, I’d been so focused on being hurt that I’d forgotten we were both learning how to do this. How to be partners. How to love each other the right way.
I looked down at my phone, Malik’s contact still open from our earlier conversation. My finger hovered over his name for a moment before I typed out a message.
Me: Thank you for giving me space.
The response came back almost immediately.
Rommy: I love you, Sametra. Both of you. I’m not claiming anything but my family being back. I’m on different shit next time around. That’s a promise.
I leaned back, thinking about the life growing inside me. Our baby deserved parents who knew how to communicate, how to trust each other, and how to work through the hard stuff together. I prayed that’s exactly what we were learning how to do during this break.
For the first time since everything fell apart, I felt something other than anger and hurt. I felt hope.
ONE WEEK LATER
I’d finally pulled myself together enough to function like a normal human being.
The constant crying had slowed to manageable tears, and I’d managed to keep my breakfast down for three days straight.
There was an innocent child growing in my belly who needed me whole and present, not drowning in my own drama and despair.