29. BLAKE
BLAKE
SINNERS & SAINTS GROUP CHAT
Axel: Jace, my man, just watched you announce that merger. Your company’s getting so big. You know what Freud would say about your obsession with size? *eggplant emoji*
Jace: Axel, saw you on the arm of yet another model. The fact that no one will sleep with you more than once says everything about your skills.
Axel: Please. I have a LINE of women. A LINE.
Jace: Yes, waiting for their antibiotics after one night with you.
Ryker: It’s 7a.m. I haven’t had coffee yet. I will murder both of you. As a criminal attorney, I know how to get away with it.
Axel: Jace, at least I have social skills. When’s the last time you left your office for something other than our poker nights?
Jace: Yesterday. Spent sixteen hours at my law firm’s headquarters, finalizing the details that will save thousands of jobs at my latest acquisition. Unlike your dating history, I actually finish what I start.
Axel: *yawning emoji* Boring. Aren’t CEOs supposed to be cutthroat? You’re like the Santa Claus of corporate takeovers.
Jace: I am cutthroat. Just ask the executives I fired last week. I just prefer destroying people who actually deserve it.
Axel: You owe me ten grand.
Jace: Improve your poker skills.
Ryker: Blake, any movement on the chief position? Hospital board still dragging their feet?
Me: Moving slower than Axel’s brain after a night out.
Axel: Speaking of medical advice … hypothetically … if a supermodel had this weird rash …
Me: Stop. Whatever you’re about to ask, the answer is no. And get tested. Again.
Axel: You’re just jealous I’m living the dream while you’re all stuck in your sad, sexless lives.
Jace: The dream of being patient zero for the next pandemic?
Ryker: I’m muting this chat. Some of us have actual work to do.
Axel: Says the guy who just spent five minutes reading about my sex life.
Me: *Your alleged sex life.
Axel: *middle finger emoji*
Jace: He’s just mad because that rash is definitely herpes.