5. Tripp
Chapter 5
Tripp
Penny: Saw a turkey today. Thought of you and your irrational fear of them.
Penny: Remember that time we came home caked in mud, and you told my mama that we were hot, and we figured since pigs cooled down by rolling in mud, it would work for us too? She was so mad. Took her a whole week to get it all out of my hair.
Penny: Not sure how much you talk to Aspen, but she’s getting bigger every day. I hope her little girl loves growing up on the ranch as much as we did.
Penny: I miss you.
Penny: Please talk to me, Tripp. Tell me what I did to push you away, and I’ll fix it. I swear.
Penny: I could really use my best friend today.
There were dozens of texts sitting on my phone from Penny over the past few weeks. I hadn’t answered a single one.
Keeping her at arm’s length was my piss-poor attempt at self-preservation. I’d squandered the opportunity to claim her as my own, and now that someone else had seen the treasure laid before them and hadn’t wasted any time in snatching her up, I couldn’t stand by and watch on as a future I felt rightfully belonged to me played out before my eyes in real time.
Today, she would legally become another man’s wife. That fucker’s best day would be my worst.
The past few weeks had been spent working myself damn near half to death because staying busy was the only way to keep my mind off Penny. Though it was pointless because she attempted to contact me several times a day, bringing my thoughts right back to her and the reason I was shutting her out.
Having finished unloading the horses from the trailer hitched to my truck, my team was getting them settled into their pen before feeding them. I set about the task of unhitching the trailer so I wouldn’t have to lug it around everywhere I drove this weekend.
It might not feel like it most days, but there were towns smaller than Rust Canyon, and Abbyville, Kansas, was one of them. But with their annual Frontier Days about to start, the place was packed with folks excited to catch the rodeo competition.
Desperate to rid myself of the destructive energy coursing through my veins at the thought of Penny getting married to a man who wasn’t me, I decided that tonight would be the night that I gave in to the steady stream of women who hit on me at bars. Until now, I’d always politely turned them away before going back to my motel room alone and stroking my cock with my best friend’s name spilling from my lips when I came.
For years, I’d spurned the offers of female companionship because I was holding that piece of myself back for her. Maybe if I finally broke through that barrier—even if it was with a stranger I’d likely never see again—I could finally move on.
Good luck with that when the idea of putting your hands on another woman makes you sick to your stomach.
Pressing a palm to my abdomen as I straightened, I shook off the wave of nausea.
From behind, a car horn blared several times in quick succession, the sound getting closer with each honk.
Lifting my eyes skyward, I muttered, “What kind of idiot doesn’t know you can’t make loud noises like that so close to horses?” as I turned around, ready to tear whomever the moron was a new one.
Catching sight of the driver through the windshield of the speeding SUV, I gritted my teeth.
I was going to kill my sister’s husband.
The vehicle came to a sudden halt, kicking up a cloud of dust. Temper flaring, I marched up to the driver’s side and wrenched the door open. “What the fuck, Mac?
My brother-in-law’s mouth dropped open, his eyes going comically wide at my harsh tone and raised voice. Stunned, he remained silent for a beat before finding his voice. “Wait, you’re not happy to see me?”
“No, I’m not happy to see you. Not when you’re tryin’ to get one of my guys killed in the pen by spooking the horses.”
Mac cringed. “Shit, that’s my bad.” He turned in his seat. “Meemaw, why didn’t you stop me?”
That’s when I noticed the familiar woman seated in his passenger seat, and I dragged a hand down my face. “What are the two of you doing here?”
My meemaw arched an eyebrow. “I think the better question is what are you doing here?”
Stepping back, I gestured to the fairgrounds around us. “Working. What does it look like?”
“Looks like you’re burying your head in the sand,” she shot back.
Most people had kind, sweet grandmothers who spoiled them and offered a place of refuge when you butted heads with your parents.
Then there was my grandmother.
She lacked a filter and said whatever popped into her brain. She gave zero fucks what anyone thought of her and was a straight shooter who wasn’t afraid to call people out on their bullshit—especially when it came to her own family.
Meemaw had been trolling me over my crush on Penny for as long as I could remember, even though I vehemently denied it. You’d think that with the girl getting married, she would have let it go, but her presence here proved I’d been foolish to assume that.
I crossed my arms. “So what if I am? I don’t see how that’s anyone’s business but mine.”
“You’ve been stuck to that girl like glue since you were both in diapers. Now you’re tellin’ me that you’re just gonna let her go without a fight?”
“Let her go?” I huffed. “I never had her to begin with.”
“And whose fault is that?” Meemaw challenged.
“Dad already hammered that point home weeks ago. So if that’s what you came up here to do, I’m sorry to tell you it was a wasted trip.”
Mac dragged in a deep breath. “She’s struggling, man.”
My body went rigid. “What? Struggling how? ”
He shook his head slightly. “She’s been walking around like a zombie, like she’s detached from everything since the engagement. It’s really unsettling because she’s always been so vibrant and full of life and laughter. Aspen and Bex are really worried about her.”
The timing of the engagement coincided with when I skipped town. Guilt swarmed me, knowing that my absence in her life was likely to blame for extinguishing her spark.
Think mighty highly of yourself, don’t ya?
“Tucker tells me I’m shit at pep talks, but I’m gonna give it my best shot, so bear with me, all right?” He took my grunt as permission to proceed. “You know how I look at your sister?”
Warmth filled my chest, picturing the loving gazes the pair of them didn’t bother to hide from the world. “Yeah, like you’ve got hearts in your eyes.”
“That’s how Penny looks at you. Maybe you couldn’t see it because she’s your sun and your moon and everything in between, but it’s been there for as long as I’ve been around.” He sighed. “Listen, I get it. I was fucking terrified to tell Aspen how I felt about her. But the idea of losing her forever because I kept my damn mouth shut was enough to scare me straight.”
I shook my head. “This isn’t the same. She’s my best friend , Mac.”
A grin tugged up the corners of his mouth. “I’m not seeing the downside, brother. The two of you have spent your whole lives building a relationship. You’re each other’s favorite person. I have no doubt that if it were possible to spend every second together, you would.”
“Couldn’t keep those two apart growing up if we tried,” Meemaw chimed in. “It’s a wonder that girl didn’t get fed up and just climb on top of you all those nights you spent in each other’s beds.”
Mac whipped his head around at that juicy piece of information. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. There were sleepovers ? ”
Meemaw kept rolling. “If it were me, I would have played the ‘oops, I slipped and fell’ card when that morning wood popped up. At least then Tripp wouldn’t still be a virgin.”
My brother-in-law made a choking sound before slowly turning around to train his wide-eyed gaze on me. “Is this like a Sullivan sibling thing? Did the two of you make a pact?”
There was a headache brewing in my brain, and I pinched the bridge of my nose against the pressure mounting behind my eyes. “I don’t know which one of you needs to hear this more. Sometimes, it’s okay to keep thoughts inside your head.”
Hopping down from his perch inside the SUV, Mac gripped both of my shoulders. “Dude, I knew you had it bad for Penny, but this takes it to a new level.”
I shucked him off. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”
“Fine. Let’s shift topics. Why don’t you share with me why you’ve cut off all communication with her?”
My jaw clenched, and he flashed me a smug smirk as he gauged my reaction. God damn him for knowing which buttons to press.
“I get that you’re hurting, but she works on your family’s ranch, the same ranch where you happen to live. She’s going to be a part of your life forever, no matter what goes down today. So what’s the point of keeping your distance when she needs you?”
Voice thick, I argued, “She doesn’t need me. Especially not today.”
“You gonna pretend like she didn’t express her wish to have you there just this morning? Because a little birdie told me she saw her text something to that effect when they were getting their hair done.”
Swallowing against the lump formed in my throat, I rasped, “Why’re you pushing this so hard?”
His brown eyes softened. “Because, at the very least, you need closure. Be there for your best friend, watch her get married, and find a way to move on with your life. I know it’s not ideal, but you’re out of options.”
Shifting to peek over his shoulder, I directed the following question toward my grandmother. “That what you were thinkin’ too?”
“No. I was wondering what kind of pansy-ass genes you got from your mother’s side because Sullivan men take what they want, the rest of the world be damned.”
Mac let out an amused snort, and I shot him a glare.
“Sorry.” He hid a smile behind his hand. “So what do you say? Will you come back to Rust Canyon with us?”
They hadn’t really left me any room to say no.
“Fine. But I’m taking my own truck. Don’t need another tongue-lashing over leaving the team overnight, so I’ll be headed straight back after the ceremony.”
The grin on Mac’s face grew. “Don’t worry, buddy. I already cleared your leave of absence with Daddy Jett.”
“Stop calling him that,” I begged on a groan.
Mac’s brows furrowed before he consulted with Meemaw. “What? No good?”
My grandma’s blue eyes sparkled, and I mentally braced for impact.
“Don’t listen to him. It’s only natural that, with a baby on the way, you’re exploring a daddy kink.”
Jesus fucking Christ.
The man standing before me snapped his fingers. “You know what? I think you’re right!” He winked at his elderly companion. “Thanks for the clarity on that, Meemaw. What would we do without you? ”
Even if I didn’t need the use of my own vehicle to get back here later tonight, there’s no way I would survive the two and a half hours back to Rust Canyon with these two feeding off each other the entire drive.
Besides, I needed time alone to get my game face on. It was going to take all my effort to pretend like I was happy for Penny when we got there.
I wasn’t sure I had it in me.
After a quick stop at the bunkhouse to shower and change into more formal attire, I drove over to the Atkinses’ homestead on the ranch. With only immediate family invited, the ceremony was set to take place in their backyard.
When I knocked on the front door, I didn’t receive an answer. Figuring everyone was already out back, I turned the knob and poked my head inside. Without a soul in sight, I deemed the coast clear and let myself in, stealthily climbing the stairs.
My feet moved automatically to the door on the right side of the hallway. Hat in hand, my fist was poised to knock when it swung open suddenly.
Green eyes belonging to the woman I loved widened in surprise as she stared back at me.
“Tripp.” The breathy way she said my name had my eyes slamming shut as longing crashed over me. “You came.”
My throat closed up when I forced myself to look at her, so my reply came out rough. “Wouldn’t miss this for the world.”
Liar.
Jerking my chin toward the staircase, I asked, “Were you heading out? ”
Penny peeked down the hallway and frowned, shaking her head slightly. “No. Come in.” When I didn’t make a move to enter her private space, she tacked on, “Please.”
Her soft plea spurred me into action, and I crossed the threshold, closing the door behind me. When I spun around and finally got a good look at her, I sagged against the wood at my back.
Palm pressed against the ache in my chest, I whispered reverently, “God, you’re so beautiful.”
The tiniest hint of pink colored Penny’s cheeks, and she dipped her chin, eyes dropping to the floor. “Thank you.”
Gaze raking over her appearance from head to toe, I cataloged the picture of perfection set before me. Her blonde hair was mostly pulled away from her face, a few curled pieces left hanging loose to frame it. Makeup highlighted her natural beauty, causing her jewel-colored eyes to pop. White fabric cascaded over her curves, making her look like an angel come to life.
“That dress,” I rasped.
She plucked at the lace overlay before peeking up at me through her lashes. “Wasn’t my first choice.”
Humming, I dragged a hand over my jaw. “I’d hate to see your first choice because this one about damn near brought me to my knees.”
The door began to open, forcing me to step further into the room.
“Tripp?” My sister’s shocked voice sounded from behind me. “What are you doing in here?”
Stepping closer to the bride, I cupped her cheek, stroking my thumb over the soft skin for the last time. Her lashes fluttered shut, and without her eyes on me, I finally found the courage to say the words that would shatter my heart into a million pieces .
“Came to wish my best girl good luck.” Green eyes glossy, she blinked up at me, and I decided to double down. “But she doesn’t really need it because she’s always been my Lucky.”
Clearing my throat, I let my hand fall away and turned around to find both Aspen and Bex staring at me, eyes wide and full of unshed tears. I mouthed, I’m fine , as I brushed past them and hustled down the steps.
I was the furthest thing from fine. My world was ending while I was being forced to bear witness to its destruction, hands tied.
Seated in the backyard, I couldn’t stop my legs from bouncing, the overwhelming urge to bolt blocking out everything else. With Mac on my right and Tucker on my left, there wasn’t a clear path to exit, so I was stuck unless I wanted to make a huge scene with my abrupt departure.
Mac nudged me. “How you hanging in there, bud?”
Lifting my eyes to the sky, I begged, “Distract me. Tell me about work.”
“Okay . . . Tuck, you wanna go first?”
“Can’t,” he replied. “There are laws prohibiting me from sharing what happens inside my office.”
My brother-in-law clicked his tongue. “Damn, I knew that. Guess it’s up to me to carry the team.” Under his breath, he muttered, “Not like I haven’t already by driving to Kansas and back today for this guy, but it’s fine.”
The low rumble that came from my chest could’ve easily passed for a growl. “You decide pissin’ me off was the better diversion? ”
“All right. I’ve got this.” Mac cracked his knuckles. “I never realized that becoming a firefighter in the country was less about putting out actual fires and more about disaster relief and emergency services. The other day, we had grain rescue training. Like, do people actually fall into silos? Is that a thing?”
“Yes,” Tucker and I replied in unison.
He sputtered. “But—but how?”
“They don’t do it on purpose. That’s why it’s called an accident .” I didn’t have to look to know Tucker was rolling his eyes at his best friend.
“Strangest fucking thing I’ve ever heard of,” Mac muttered.
Before either of us could tease his city upbringing, music began, signaling the start of the bridal procession, and I sucked in a sharp breath.
I wasn’t ready. I would never be ready.
But it was happening anyway, and I was powerless to stop it.
First came Bex, then Aspen, in their matching pink dresses. A change in tune, denoting the bride’s arrival, had everyone standing. The back door to the house pushed open, and the focus of my entire world narrowed down to my perfect Penny as she emerged.
Around me, there were whispered words of her bridal beauty, but none of them were enough to do her justice. She was stunning, a goddess, but her physical appearance was no match for that playful personality of hers I’d spent my whole life loving.
Before I knew it, she was up at the altar, receiving a kiss from her father and being given away to Jake as the preacher encouraged us to take our seats so the ceremony could begin.
His rehearsed words could barely be heard over the buzzing in my ears, but one particular phrase broke through my haze.
“If anyone can show just cause as to why this couple may not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace. ”
Like they’d rehearsed it, both men seated beside me clamped hands down on my knees.
It didn’t matter. Though they were holding me down, nothing could stop the words from working their way up my throat.
“Don’t do it!”