Chapter 30 #2
I nodded. “I’ll help you. But first you need to be trained, and first, we need to keep you safe. Your grandparents are powerful and have more protection than simply their own smoke. Promise me that you will never go looking for them without me.”
Owu looked at me and nodded. I was not so worried about him sneaking off at this age. But at fourteen or fifteen?
I said, “It is not just you who would be harmed by such a choice.”
“I won’t go looking without you.”
I squeezed him again. “Owu, could you give me a moment with Adeuto?”
He nodded and started to walk away.
“Owu?” I called.
The young crimson glanced back.
“We didn’t have a chance to bring any of your things. I’ll send some clothing and toys with Athira when I get a chance.”
He sniffed and smiled. “Thank you, Syera.”
“Why would you send them with Grandmother?” Adeuto asked.
I turned to find him in front of me. “My little love, things must change for a while after tonight. I wish they didn’t have to, but this is necessary for a time. To keep you safe.”
Fear ebbed into his face. “Where are you going?”
“You know when Grandfather used to talk about his mate?”
“He didn’t like her.”
I chuckled. “No. But usually, mates do. Your father is my mate. Well, he wishes to be.”
“But you don’t want to be his mate.”
“I don’t. However, my plan to… handle your father means that I have to go through another step in the ritual with him. Once I do, he will always feel where I am. That means, if I came here, then he would know, and he might come here and find you.”
Adeuto stepped forward to hug me. “You don’t want him to find me.”
“No, darling. I don’t. And so I must stay away for now. Not for too long I hope.”
“How long?”
“Months,” I said quietly. Then before he could ask what a month was, I added, “Maybe until your next birthday, or longer. I will think of you every moment of every day. I will miss you every second, and I will spend every minute chasing the time when I get to return to you again. When I do, I intend that we will remain together for good.”
“Father will be gone.”
“Yes, darling. That is the aim.”
Adeuto kissed my cheek. “I’m afraid.”
A tear slipped from my eye, and I brushed it away, out of sight. When I could trust my voice, I whispered, “You don’t need to be afraid when you have a mother, my little love. Give all of that to me, and I will protect you. Even when you can’t see or hear me, that is what I’m doing.”
He was quiet for a time, and then said, “Done.”
I squeezed him tightly, and then didn’t have the strength to pull away for another five minutes. Eventually, he started to wriggle, and I released him.
“I’m hungry,” Adeuto declared.
I smiled. “Then go down to the house. I’ll be there soon. Wait!” I caught his hand and dragged him back. I looked into his eyes and memorized his face once more. Then I cupped his cheeks and kissed him. “Adeuto, I love you more than words can describe. You are my entire world.”
He kissed me back, then ran down the dune when I released him.
I waited until he was inside.
And then I bowed my head to my knees and cried.
I cried out the last month—hell, the last five years. So much loss, and always more. Now this. The thought of our separation was unbearable, and so, like so many of the hard times in my life, I’d opt not to think right now.
I’d choose to act. Follow my plan until my mind felt safe to occupy again. One foot in front of the other. Just like Owu would have to do.
I’d find some way to show both of them that they were in my heart and thoughts.
But fuck, this was one of the most difficult days of motherhood I’d ever had.
Sand poured, and I wiped a sleeve across my face before glancing at Neti.
“Don’t mind me,” I croaked. “But I think you’re living right, if that means anything.
She touched her nose to the top of my head. There was a blazing heat, and I shrieked, rolling away.
The nismus remained where I’d left her, and I touched the top of my head. The middle of my head.
Fumbling for the gem, I placed it over the spot, then drew up my smoke.
My jaw dropped. The white coil was gone!
I returned to Neti, and she bowed her head to my stomach. Blazing heat. I bit down on a shriek.
I panted after and checked the spot. That coil was gone too. “Neti, what are you?” I breathed.
There was something huge here that I couldn’t yet grasp. But I would. There were too many coincidences. Neti had found us. So had the gem. I was meant to understand this ancient force.
She touched her nose to the coil on my hip, then the coils above my ankles when I removed my boots. I held up my feet one by one.
And then I scanned my body again while holding the gem. “No coils.”
I leaped forward and hugged Neti tight. “I have no idea what you just did, but thank you. Thank you so much.”
Neti bumped me out of the way and returned to her calf without any fanfare.
The craving wouldn’t affect me now, and so there went Carmine’s grand plan to go through an intention ritual with a panting Syera.
That gave me a fighting chance after this difficult, bloodspilling day.
That was all I needed to keep going.