Crave (Blood Secret #1)

Chapter 1

Chapter One

ANGELICA

“He murdered her, can you believe that?” The woman’s whisper drifted from the back of the crowd. “He killed his own wife in cold blood before he turned the gun on himself.”

“Dear Heavenly Father,” the Priest called a little louder. “We ask you to heal the broken in heart and bind up their wounds. Mercifully look upon those who are bereaved here today and take them into your arms.”

“They say the study was a mess, blood splatter all over the walls and the floor.”

I stared at the casket in front of me as it was lowered into the earth.

THUD.

Cold dirt hit the shimmering oak as it sank deeper.

“Can you imagine that? Imagine the kind of man who’d take a gun and?—”

Movement came further up the line of men beside me. Silas wrenched his head around and the vile whispering ended instantly. No words were needed…not when you felt the choke-hold of his wrath.

THUD.

I flinched hard.

Promise me. My mom’s faint words resounded in my head. Promise me on your life, Angel.

THUD.

Swear. Mom’s voice pushed in. I need you to swear to me.

That ache in the back of my throat clenched. I need you to?—

I closed my eyes as that desperation grew louder and that same panic returned.

I NEED YOU TO SWEAR.

THUD.

Jolt. My body jerked and trembled. Fingers clenched tight around the icy ache.

The piercing squeal of tires followed in my head. The memory more vibrant than the plague of blood red roses covering the two caskets in front of us.

I need you to swear on your life. SWEAR TO ME ON YOUR LIFE. SWEAR IT. SWEAR IT!

“I promise,” the words were nothing more than the movement of my lips, uttering the words she desperately needed to hear. “On my life, I swear.”

THUD.

The soft smack against my arm made me open my eyes.

I glanced at Gabe. Red-rimmed eyes shimmered with tears, pleading for someone to ease his pain.

I couldn’t ease his pain, no more than I could ease my own.

Still, I took his hand, my knuckles aching and throbbing, finding the warmth of his.

His soft, sad smile made my chest hurt even more.

Theo never moved beside him, hiding pin-prick pupils behind dark sunglasses, staring at nothing. Jude was next, his head dropped, his shoulders curling under the weight of not one casket in front of us, but the two of them. He shoved his hands into his pockets, his grief all consuming.

But not Silas. There was no bowing from the man who stood at the head of our line. No, there was no sign of emotion at all. Not until he slowly turned his head and that hateful bottomless glare settled on mine.

My pulse quickened.

They can never know. Mom’s plea resounded. Angel, they can never know.

“That concludes this morning’s sermon. The family has asked that you respect them in their hour of need.

Any form of well wishing may be directed at the small and intimate gathering we have provided.

If you want, linger for a moment and express your love for Dante and Meredith, then please feel free to?—”

Silas turned away, moving first as he cut across the front of the gathering and barged past the Priest. The old man of the cloth stumbled sideways, his eyes widening with fear. His assistant lunged, grabbing hold of him to keep the old man upright as all heads tracked my brother.

“Jesus.” Gabe muttered as he shook his head.

Lincoln Ares stepped forward. Grabbing the Priest’s hand. “I’m sorry, Father. Please accept my apologies on behalf of my nephew. He’s in a lot of pain.”

The Priest nodded as everyone moved. Those behind us stepped around us, casting roses into the holes in the earth, moving from one, then to the other.

“Are you coming?” Gabe asked.

I turned my head, my thoughts achingly slow. The others were already gone. Theo, Jude…leaving Gabe as he waited for me. I gave a slow nod and followed, my heels sinking into the soft grass as we made our way to the reception.

This wasn’t for us.

This was for them.

For all the whispers and all the lies.

For the eyes that saw everything, drinking in our pain as though they were dying of thirst. I stepped up the stairs of the sprawling building, dark brown wood matched with black stone and steel made this place feel somber and empty.

The conversion burst into life as I stepped inside.

All those fake tears that’d been holding back while the sermon was given now flowed freely and loudly.

I followed the rest of my family, heading to a small room at the rear of the building.

Platters of food lay spread out on tables, water and juice in full glass carafes that beaded on the outside.

Gabe grabbed a glass and poured, splashing apple juice into the depths before he grabbed them and headed back to me.

“How long do we have to stay here?” He asked.

I shook my head. “I don’t know, until we’re told we can leave, I guess.” I took the glass from him although I didn’t lift it to my lips.

I ached as I stood there. My ribs were painful, clenched tight around a heart full of lies. Others came and went. I lost track of their faces. Some blubbered, grabbing hold of me in a panic, their long nails clawing my arms as they slammed me against their chest.

I never fought, never pulled away, just emptied myself a little more, bit by bit until only the flesh remained. Until, finally…there was no more. I glanced around the small room, finding Jude at the doorway.

“Thank you for coming. Thank you…thank you so much for coming. Yes, we appreciate all your concern. We will reach out if we need anything. Thank you. Thank you for coming. Thank you.”

Over and over and over.

“Let’s get out of here.” Gabe whispered.

I gave a nod as he took the empty glass from my hand. I stared at it for a second, unable to remember when I drank the contents before he placed it down and motioned me forward. I followed him, slipping behind Jude and headed for the rear of the building where a car for us waited.

Silence lasted all the way home. Once we were inside Gabe turned around and gently pulled me close. “You can come to me anytime.” Thick, husky words filled my ears as I nodded.

I shifted against him feeling his hard chest pressed against mine. He’d become too big lately, too hard, too…masculine. Thank God he stayed sweet, unlike his brothers.

I wrapped my arms around him, gripped him tight and then pulled away. “I will, and you too. If you ever want to talk, or…”

“Sisterly advice.” He joked with a smile.

It was a joke, although none of it was funny. I winced, then gave a huff. “That’s it, sisterly advice, you know where to find me.”

“I do.” That sad smile grew only sadder as it stretched. “In the bedroom next to mine.”

I shook my head and stepped away, watching him turn around, taking long strides to head for the kitchen at the rear of the house.

He was always headed there. I turned around, listening to the utter silence.

There were no staff today. No house cleaner to dust or vacuum, adjusting the vases perfectly in place.

No chef on standby to cook my brothers whatever they wanted. Just us. Just silence.

I glanced along the hall, catching Gabe disappearing before I headed for the front of the house.

They say the study was a mess, blood splatter all over the walls and the floors.

My steps were soundless on the thick runner along the hall, until I stepped onto the wooden floor and turned left toward the study.

The place where it happened.

Mom.

Dad…

And death.

I stopped at the closed door, my heart pounding. That uncontrollable urge to look over my shoulder reared its head. I spent my whole life in this house doing just that. Watching out for them, always ready for their cruel words and their hateful stare.

They didn’t want me before, and they sure as Hell won’t want me now.

A name meant nothing.

I wasn’t a true Ares.

I was a fake… and a liar.

My fingers shook as I grabbed the round, ornate brass handle, turned then pushed.

Flashes of images assuaged me. Then and now.

Then…with the blood sprayed across the room and my mother’s dead body sprawled out in front of the desk and now with the desk clean and uncluttered.

Not a book was out of place. Not a pen on the desk.

Nothing but cleanness…and the faint scent of alcohol.

Then…

I took a step, my pulse thundering in my ears as I settled on the brand new chair pushed into place.

But that wasn’t the chair that’d been here.

That wasn’t the chair in my head. No, the soft brown leather of that chair was darkened with splatters of blood, just like the arc of spray that cut across the books behind him. The ones now removed.

I took a step deeper inside, moving around the edge of the desk and lifted my hand to the bookshelf. That throbbing, growing thing crawled up my chest and into the base of my throat. My fault…my—fault.

“What are you doing here?”

I spun around and stumbled backwards, finding Silas standing in the doorway.

“Well?” He stepped inside, scanned the desk and the computer and anything else I might’ve touched.

“Nothing.” I murmured, lowered my head and made for the door.

He grabbed my arm, jerked me around until he pushed me hard against the desk. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE! The words burned in his stare. Even if they didn’t reach his lips. It didn’t matter that this house was all I remembered. That this family was the only family I knew.

“They…” I whispered. “Were my family too.”

His lips curled before he pushed me away like he was revolted by the touch of me. His hard chest rose with a breath. He didn’t wear a tie now, in the corner of my eye I saw it clenched in his grip. But I stared at the tattoos that now peeked out from his open shirt.

“Don’t come in here again.” He snarled, staring at the desk instead of me. “Now, get the fuck out.”

I moved as fast as my trembling legs would carry me, lunging around him and scurrying for the door. I didn’t stop, not until I raced along the hallway and turned down to the small wing of our rooms.

Gabriel’s music slipped out from under his closed bedroom door. His words still hovered in the back of my mind. But I didn’t stop as I hurried past, yanked the handle of my bedroom door and stumbled inside.

Soft, pale pink greeted me. I closed the door behind me and leaned back against the frame as tears welled in my eyes. We don’t want you…we don’t want you. We don’t…

Warmth spilled, raining down my cheeks. I had to get out now. I had to find a way to leave. I pushed off the door and stumbled to my bed, my mind racing with just how to do that. This wasn’t about their outright hatred of my existence. No, this vein of betrayal flowed deeper.

The police ruled it as a murder suicide, even my parents own friends whispered as such standing behind us at the funeral. As cruel as that was…it was better than the truth. Better than knowing what happened.

Better for them.

And for me.

I grabbed my cell from the bedside cupboard, finding the only person who could help me now.

I’m ready to leave here now. Can you help?

I hit send and waited, lifting my gaze to the bedroom door. It was weeks since my parent’s deaths, weeks while I waited for the truth to come out. It hadn’t. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t going to. I knew only too well what would happen then.

They’d come for me.

I lowered my gaze to my cell. I had to make a plan, gather what money I had in my account. It wasn’t much. Fifty thousand maybe. It’d get me a plane ticket to the middle of nowhere, that’s all I cared about. If I laid low, changed my hair…and my name it might stop them.

Jesus, please let it stop them.

Beep.

I looked down, through the washed out blur and found my boyfriend’s message.

Penn: Tell me what you need and it’s yours.

A sob tore free. Penn was the only one I could trust. The only one who knew how cruel these men had been to me and the only one who knew how dangerous they were. His father was a lawyer, maybe he could help me get a new ID and smuggle me out of the country somehow?

I didn’t know.

But at least I had a plan.

I gripped my cell, staring at the beautiful, pink room built for a daughter my mother wanted…and one the rest of my family tolerated. A daughter who was ready to leave this house and the Ares name behind.

A daughter who was desperate to survive.