Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
ANGELICA
On your knees, Angelica. Show me what a good girl you are.
I closed my eyes, trying to push away that voice in my head. But I couldn’t. Instead I heard him clearer than ever before. Flickers of a memory rose up, stealing me away from the safety of my bedroom and plunging me back there, to that place where they…where they…used me.
“You don’t have to be worried, he’s not sending you away.”
I lifted my head, finding Gabe standing in the open doorway of my bedroom. I didn’t even see him open it, nor did I see him watching me. I was still held there, in that dream…and that place.
“For now.’ I said quietly. “Until he changes his mind.”
Gabe pushed off the doorframe and strode in. “And you think that’s going to happen?”
Beep.
My cell chimed. “Maybe.” I answered, then glanced at my cell.
Penn.
My chest tightened. I glanced at Gabe as my cheeks burned.
She’s a liability. Those words still howled.
The worst thing was, Jude was right. They couldn’t trust me.
Hell, I couldn’t even trust myself. Because I wasn’t me…
I was someone else. Someone who was still trapped in that place with a faceless man who used me.
My body tightened as my cell chimed again.
Penn: If you don’t answer me back right now, I’m coming over.
Gabe bent down, snatching my cell from the comforter in front of me. He pressed the button and read the message. “Coming over, huh?” The corner of his lip tugged, baring his teeth for a second before handing it out. “Text him back, tell him everything’s fine.”
But it wasn’t fine, was it?
And now Gabe seemed okay on invading my privacy, forcing me to do things I…I didn’t want to do.
Only that’s not true, was it?
You wanted to do anything they asked.
Especially if it meant you being naked or on your knees.
I flinched with the words. “No,” I whispered. “That’s not me.”
“It is if you don’t want him to meet a very pissed off Silas at the front door. You do know my brother carries a gun, right? There’s no telling what he’d do.”
That burn ignited in my cheeks once more.
Silas would hurt Penn. In fact, I think he’d enjoy it.
Just like he enjoys hurting me. I lifted my gaze to Gabe, to the sweet brother who had changed in the weeks since our parents' deaths. Who now looked at me like…like…that’s the way, Angelica…
do exactly as you’re told. You’re to listen and obey, then when we see each other again, you’re to tell me everything.
Do you understand? That faceless man commanded in my head. Do. You. Understand?
“Yes.” I whispered and reached for my phone as Gabe held it out. “I understand.”
I punched in the numbers, then replied to Penn telling him exactly what they wanted. I was fine. I didn’t want him to come. We were still grieving as a family and he needed to respect that.
He would.
I knew he would.
“Good.” Gabe reached out, brushing the hair from my face with hands that were far too big. “That’s good, Angel.”
Angel.
My body quivered with the name. Only mom called me Angel…her Angel. Now as I stared up at Gabe that name took on a whole new emotion.
“You’re okay if I call you that, right?” He murmured, his voice deep and husky. Those big fingers brushed my cheek once more. “My Angel.”
I swallowed hard and slowly nodded.
“Gabe.” Silas called from the doorway. I glanced toward the sound. Silas stood there, watching his brother caress my face. “You’re needed.”
One nod and Gabe turned around and walked out, leaving me sitting there on the bed.
Silas just watched, then glanced at the cell in my hands.
I knew what he was going to do before he even moved.
My hand clenched around the cell, then slowly lifted it in the air as he crossed the room and took it from me.
“You won’t be needing this.”
I could only nod. “Whatever you want.”
Then without another word he turned and left, closing the door behind him. I was alone once more with that faceless monster in my head. A monster that programmed me to do whatever they wanted with barely a fight.
“I hate you.” I whispered. “Almost as much as I hate myself.”
I lay back down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, my thoughts a muddled blur. But I remembered the doctor and the things he said to me. I was programmed and none of this was my fault. So if this wasn’t of my own doing, then whose was it?
Promise me. Mom’s desperate words resounded. I remember that moment clearly. Tires squealed as we tore out of the gate at that place, the Order. The look of desperation was terrifying on her face. On your life, Angel. I need you to promise me. They can never know about this.
I remembered the mismatched buttons on her blouse and the red marks on the side of her neck.
Marks that looked like someone had gripped her.
They used her like they used me. Fear rippled through me, the kind that chilled me to the bone.
We were used as pawns, manipulated and controlled.
Only I didn’t know who did this. Who whispered in my head and tortured my mom.
I didn’t know anything.
Fresh tears slipped down the side of my eyes as I willed sleep to come. One that would take me from this nightmare and plunge me back into my normal, boring life. One where my brothers ignored me…and my mom was my world.
Darkness slowly came, creeping in amongst the memories. Whispering words I couldn’t understand…until I gave in…and fell.
“Fucking liar.”
The bed dipped hard, shaking me. I slowly opened my eyes to a shadow looming over me.
“Need to be used, isn’t that it, sister? That’s what you want right? To be owned, used.”
Cold air swept over me as the bedsheets were yanked aside.
Heavy breaths reeked of alcohol.
I knew instantly who it was.
“Theo.”
“Just a cunt to be used.” He slurred and drove his knee between my legs, forcing them apart.
“Theo, stop this.” I said quietly…too quiet.
If he heard he didn’t care. There was no stopping this as he yanked my nightdress higher exposing my panties. He stopped, then looked down, swaying above me. Those dark hazel eyes glinted in the moonlight that spilled from my bedroom window.
I couldn’t move as he reached down and dragged his finger along my hard mound and along the crease between my legs. “That’s what you want, isn’t it?” He met my frozen stare. “To be used.”
Heat followed the trail of his fingers as he pushed deeper, finding the ache in me.
“Jesus Christ I’m so fucking hard.”
He winced and reached down, massaging the bulge of his cock. With a moan he straightened, working the button of his pants. In a rush the zipper gave way, and the thick, hard head pushed out. He was big and erect…and dangerous.
One hard shove inside my thigh and he pushed me wider.
“Theo, no.” I whispered.
But that wasn’t what howled inside my head. A low, delicious throb came from between my legs, one that only grew bolder as he gripped my hips and lifted, yanking me hard against him.
I cried out as warmth slammed against me. My teeth found the softness of my lip, biting down.
“Can’t get it out of my fucking head.” He grunted the words, his fingers bruising as they kneaded my thighs. “You on your knees for my goddamn brother. I hate you, you know that, right?”
He didn’t even wait for me to answer. I don’t think it mattered, still I answered. “Yes.”
His hands pinched the soft flesh of my thigh, massaging my thighs wider as he slowly thrust his hips, driving against my pussy.
“Hated you the moment you came to us…and every day since. But especially now.” The whites of his eyes shimmered as he met my stare. “Especially now.”
That ache between my thighs grew more insistent. Pulsing and throbbing as the length of his cock pushed against me. The slip of thin cotton, the only barrier between us. Even that grew warm…and wet.
“Need to be used.”
A moan escaped my lips with the friction. He was so hard, the blunt head driving against my core as his hands moved closer, his thumbs massaging along the edge of the elastic.
“Go on, little sister,” he growled. “Moan and writhe and tell me you haven’t thought of this.”
I thrashed my head from side to side, the warmth between us growing damp. That slow glide of his cock burrowing.
“No.” I whimpered. “I haven’t thought of this.”
“You fucking liar.”
Strangled noises came from the back of my throat. He inhaled sharply and pushed his thumbs under the elastic driving the soft flesh of my lips together and rubbed.
“Look how fucking wet you are.”
My eyes rolled back. My body clenched, throbbing against his fingers.
“You want to be used, don’t you?”
I tried to shake my head, but my back arched, grinding my hips against him.
“Yeah, I see you now, little sister.” He grunted, driving his cock along the length of my sodden panties. “I. Fucking. See. You.”
My brain stopped working, short circuiting until sparks detonated behind my eyes. I couldn’t stop it, couldn’t stop the way my core clenched tight and unleashed a cry.
Theo lunged, bracing himself above me as he pumped and thrust. Shadows cut across his jaw, making him look chiseled and terrifying above me.
“I see you now.” His lips curled back, baring his teeth as he pinned me to the bed. “And this…” tendons pulled taught along the sides of his neck as he grunted. “Is…just…the…beginning.”
He closed his eyes and threw his head backwards, slamming his hips against mine as an animalistic sound erupted deep from his chest. That warmth grew between my legs, sticky and slick. Silence followed. Chilling and deadly, leaving my skin to prickle.
This has gone too far.
Too far.
Theo slowly opened his eyes. That stare empty as he found mine. “You’re mine now.” There was no kindness in those words. “You get that? You’re fucking mine.”
The bed dipped once more as he pulled away and straightened, looking down at the mess between my legs. “Next time your panties won’t stop me.”
I couldn’t move as he eased from the bed. I just lay there, legs spread, panting as Theo stood over me, fixing his pants before he slowly turned and stumbled for the door.
Oh, God…Oh, God. I slowly eased my legs together before dragging the comforter over my body. That just happened… that…just…happened.
Give them what they want, Angelica. That voice whispered in my head. That’s your sole purpose now. To be owned…used…it’s only a matter of time before they tell you something I can turn against them. I will come for you when the time is right. Do you understand? Nod, so I know you’re listening.
Even here in my bed, my head dipped, nodding just like he wanted me to. Slowly warmth came back and I slipped my hand under the covers, inching down to where the sticky dampness welled between my thighs.
This was my purpose now.
I closed my eyes, but sleep never came.
Instead I lay there, desperately aching for more of the brother I loathed. The one who called me his.