Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
ANGELICA
“Let me take care of you.” Gabe loomed over me.
He looked down, his dark eyes shimmering in the muted light.
The moment he touched the sting on my cheek from Silas’s knife I pulled away.
Pain flared, his brows pinched for a second before his stare hardened.
That look…that hard, honey brown stare shimmered in my memory.
With it came a thunderous roar.
ANGEL…
ANGEL, PLEASE!
NOOO!
A blood choked bellow filled my head. Flickers came to life…the similar wide haunting eyes of our father returned in a moment of pure terror before…
BOOM!
Warmth splattered my arms. Bright red flecks smacked me in the eye. I turned my head…my mind blurring as in that vision a shadowed figure moved close.
That’s it, Angelica. A low and hypnotic voice followed as the sharp bitter stench of gunpowder returned filling me. That’s a good girl. Let me take that now.
There was a heaviness in my hand. I remember it now. I looked down as I sat on Gabe’s bed and almost saw it. The cold steel in my grip, one splattered with blood.
“Angel.”
I wrenched my gaze upwards as the vision started to blur. No…panic moved in. No, please no. “Are you okay?” Gabe asked, his jaw set hard.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom!
My pulse filled my head. But it was my ragged breaths which hurt the most tearing through my chest leaving a gaping hole behind. I lunged, throwing my arms around Gabe’s neck and clung to him.
That vision faded.
That sick, terrifying vision.
What…the…Hell…was…that?
“That bastard.” He wrapped his arms around my body as I shook and shuddered. “He’s too rough with you. Too goddamn rough. I won’t let him hurt you.” He murmured in my ear. “Do you hear me? Never again. Never ever again.”
My mind was a jumble. That shadowed figure loomed in my mind, until slowly the events of tonight came rushing back. Silas and the knife. A tremor tore through me as I pressed my fingers to my cheek. The tiny sting was sharp and instant, but it was nothing compared to the terror in my head.
It wasn’t a memory. I closed my eyes. It can’t be. That didn’t happen. But the moment the words came they carried a weight that filled my heart.
“I should go back in there and put a goddamn knife against his face, let’s see how he likes it.”
I pulled away, staring into Gabe’s dark stare and shook my head. “No,” I croaked. “Don’t do that. Don’t ever do that.”
“No?” His brow rose. “Give me one good goddamn reason? He fucking hurt you.”
There was real anger in his voice. A hatred I’d never heard before.
Gabe didn’t hate. He comforted and loved.
He was the quiet one. The loyal one. The longer I stared at him the more I realized that these last months changed us all.
They made us lonely and afraid…and now, desperate. That’s how I felt.
I felt desperate.
“You’re staying in here tonight.” Gabe said. “Don’t bother arguing, I won’t hear it. You can take the bed and I’ll sleep on the goddamn floor, but I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
I lifted my hand and caressed his cheek. “You can’t keep me here forever. Silas needed…” I stopped. “He needed the truth.”
ANGEL NO!
Those screams still lingered. Screams that’d never been there before. Silas wasn’t the only one who needed answers.
We all did.
I swallowed a strangled noise in the back of my throat.
“I don’t care what he needed. You’re sleeping here.”
Gabe moved, pulling down the comforter further on his unmade bed and jerked his head. “In.”
“You can’t sleep on the floor.” I started.
“Then I’ll sleep standing up.”
There was a huskiness in those words, a need left unspoken. My pulse kicked as I slowly made my way toward him, meeting his stare.
“In,” he urged.
I sank down and slid backwards, curling my feet up underneath me.
The thick, musky scent of him enveloped me as I lay my head on his pillow.
He towered over me, just as Silas had done before, only this time the bedding was pulled upwards, sliding over my feet and my legs to tuck high around my shoulders.
“Sleep, Angel.” He said carefully. “I’ll protect you.”
A pang moved through my chest. I knew he would. There was no doubt about it now. He’d go to war with his brothers for me…and that hurt the most.
Brother against brother.
All because of the things I’ve done.
That’s a good girl, let me take that now.
I closed my eyes and willed the memory away.
It wasn’t real. None of it. Not then and not now.
I closed my eyes pretending to sleep, but I lay there listening to Gabe as he snarled.
“You deserve better. Better than my goddamn brothers. I can’t let him hurt you, not anymore.
You need someone to protect you. Someone to take care of you. Someone to…”
He went quiet. I kept my breaths slow and quiet, tracking him in the dark as he moved away.
There was a shuffling of something on his desk before silence.
If I opened my eyes would I find him looking at me in the dark?
I knew I would. Something was changing between us, festering like rot, determined to take hold.
That intoxicated rush rose, sending a flare of heat between my thighs.
This was a rot between us. Silas. Theo and now Gabe and the only thing rotten here was me.
Filthy and foul, desperately clawing for a hold in this family.
ANGEL NO!
Those screams surfaced, turning that throb between my thighs into a sickening hunger.
“Angel.” His voice was so quiet, as though he didn’t really want me to answer. “Are you awake?”
I didn’t move. Now even when the soft thud of his steps neared the bed.
The edge of the mattress dipped with his weight. I couldn’t fight it anymore and opened my eyes, finding him bathed in the gloom.
“Let me take care of you.” He murmured, reaching over his head to drag his shirt free. “I just need you to let me take care of you.”
Sheets lifted, letting the rush of cold air in before it was gone once more.
The rough rub of his jeans pressed against my thigh and the warmth of his strong chest followed.
“I…love you.” He murmured. His big fingers stroked my hair. “Christ, I love you.”
My nipples puckered and that heady bloom of desire followed. This was wrong. I knew this was wrong…and still some sick part of me wanted it.
That’s it, Angelica. That hollow voice of the monster in my head echoed. This is exactly what you were made for…for them…and me.
Gabe’s fingers drifted lower, brushing my cheek until they disappeared and danced along the side of my breast. It was so sweet, so…careful. I squeezed my eyes tighter. The touch was completely opposite to Silas’.
My body came alive, flooding between my thighs with mindless warmth.
I turned my head, finding my younger brother in the dark. Still, he never stopped, brushing slow circles around my nipples.
“Will you do that? Will you let me take care of you?” He whispered.
I was helpless to do anything else but nod. “Yes.” My words were raw and husky.
He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me hard against his body. “Thank you.” He breathed into my hair. The desperate sound of his sincerity sent a pang across my chest.
The acid tang of guilt followed as Silas filled my head. His cruel hands. His vindictive glare. If I wanted the softness and kindness, then why was Silas in my head…and with him our hateful brother, Theo.
Warmth of Gabe’s breath blew against my neck as the image of Theo was resurrected above me.
Fucking liar. Theo’s grunt only ignited that heat between my legs.
I knew I was wet. I knew I was desperate.
Need to be used, isn’t that it, sister? That’s what you want, right?
To be owned. To be used. I swallowed hard as that ache in my pussy grew bolder. Just a cunt to be used.
The bed shifted against me, rocking…shifting. A hardness pressed against my thigh.
“I’m not like my brother’s.” Gabe grunted as he thrust against the side of my thigh, still fully clothed. “But I can’t help myself.”
I stared at the ceiling with the feel of Gabe humping against me and his brothers in my head, knowing no matter what they did to me was nothing compared to the things I’d done to them.
ANGEL…
ANGEL, PLEASE!
NOOO!
Those screams haunted me until I willed myself to the darkness of my mind and with it, sleep.
Sunlight woke me. Soft and filtered, leaving me to tilt my face to the warmth.
It took me a second to realize I wasn’t in my own bed.
Then whose bed was it? I shoved upwards and looked around to see Gabe’s things everywhere.
In a rush last night came flooding back.
Silas, Theo…and Gabe. Only everything else was a blur.
I stilled, my heart pounding as I remembered how angry Gabe was and then the events in this bed. I touched my cheek. He touched me, brushing my hair. The grunts of his desire rushed back to me.
But there was something else.
Something that hovered at the edges of my memory.
The door suddenly opened. Gabe walked in scowling. The moment he saw me sitting up in his bed, he stopped and the crease lines between his eyes eased.
“You’re awake.” There was an edge of nervousness in his tone.
“I am.”
He shifted from one foot to the other. “Are you hungry?”
I wasn’t, still I nodded. “I could eat.”
“Good.”
The empty hallway behind him called my attention. “The others?”
“Gone.” He stepped closer. “You don’t have to worry about them anymore. They won’t be a problem.”
The hard, dangerous way he said the words made me wonder what had gone down while I was asleep. But I couldn’t think about that now. My stomach clenched as dread washed through me.
There was that sickening wave of terror. That knowing inside that something terrible had happened. Something far more terrible than anything my brothers had done.
“You’re safe with me.” Gabe moved closer. “I promise.”
I gave a nod and slipped from the bed, grabbing my phone from the nightstand. “Let me shower and I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”
I didn’t wait for him to answer, I just scurried around him and raced for the door and made for my bedroom. I grabbed my things, plucking a light caramel colored dress from the hanger in my wardrobe as well as matching underwear and headed for the bathroom.
I needed to shower and get my head right and I couldn’t do that, not like this. I headed for the bathroom that Gabe and I used and closed the door behind me. The heady scent of his cologne still lingered. I hung my dress up and placed my underwear down before meeting my gaze in the mirror.
ANGEL, PLEASE!
NOOO!
I flinched with the faint terrified screams of my father.
My eyes widened, my breaths were trapped.
In the back of my head that terrified knowing came alive.
Something happened. Something I remembered last night and now…
now there was a gaping hole in my memories.
One that threatened to swallow me whole.
I stepped backwards, yanking my shirt and pyjamas free before I stepped into the shower. The hot spray did little to quell the ice inside. I dipped my head backwards, shampooing my hair, taking my time as my thoughts returned to that moment. It was right there at the edge of my memory.
NO ANGEL!
PLEASE!
A bitter scent pinched my nose making my eyes sting. But it couldn’t be, not while I was under the water. I knew that scent. Knew it in the pit off my stomach. I coughed and spluttered, lunging out of the spray until I spun and hit the taps, switching the water off.
My hands were shaking as I reached for the towel.
Still, I grabbed one and hurried to dry myself.
Normally I enjoyed taking my time, but not today.
Today I dried and slipped on my underwear before grabbing the dress.
Maybe this was a bad idea. Silas’s baggy sweats and t-shirt felt more natural.
Something I could hide in that wasn’t me.
The thought of his scent around me made me rethink. I had no other option than to wear what I had. I tugged the dress on, smoothing it down my body and tugged the zipper along my side until it closed. I needed to get it together, and I needed to stop this fantasy in my head.
Because it wasn’t real.
It couldn’t be.
I grabbed my pajamas and wet towel, tossing them down the clothes chute before I dragged a brush through my wet hair, grabbed my phone and walked out.
The smell of bacon wafted from the kitchen.
Gabe said the others weren’t here, still part of me didn’t believe him, leaving me to step cautiously along the hallway toward the sounds of our sizzling breakfast.
But the moment I neared the front door a shadow shifted. Through the frosted thick panel of glass I saw a figure standing outside. For a second I thought it was Silas returning. I froze staring as whoever it was cupped his hands and pressed his face to the glass.
It wasn’t Silas.
It was Lincoln.
How long had he been standing there?
Long enough to watch me walk down the hall.
He fixed his gaze on me and motioned me forward. That heady rush sent a chill through me. The doorbell was right there, still he didn’t use it. He wanted me to open the door for him…and only me. I glanced toward the doorway of the kitchen and looked back.
Lincoln waited, watching me through the glass as I slowly took a step and then another. The lock gave a snap, but it was muffled as Gabe unleashed a curse and the door swung inwards.
“Angelica.” Lincoln murmured.
His name was a whisper. “Lincoln.”
One careful glance toward the kitchen and he stepped inside, moving closer to me in such a predatory way it made me freeze.
“I know your little secret, Angel.” He murmured. “All that blood.” He lifted his hand, brushing the wet strands of my hair as his eyes twinkled. “You were covered in it, weren’t you?”
The foyer around me swayed.
ANGEL…
ANGEL, PLEASE!
NOOO!
BOOM!
My pulse stuttered.
My mouth went dry.
“Do you want to tell them?” Lincoln’s mouth quirked as the clash of plates came from the kitchen. “Or me?”
No.
The image of that study came rushing back. Blood dripped from the bookcase and the wet warmth that was on my cheek cooled.
“So much blood.” Lincoln murmured again, that tight curl at the corner of his mouth curling higher.
I forced myself to move, stepping backwards…before I turned around and ran.