51. Lara
CHAPTER 51
LARA
Ugh. I pinch the flab on my belly as I stare into the mirror. I ate too much with the girls last night. Adding more time to my treadmill might not cut it.
It’s so hard to watch my calories now that Alexei is here all the time. My only option is to run.
Or to find excuses to go to the bathroom.
What is wrong with me? Why is it so easy for other people to eat whatever they want, and never gain a pound?
Sofia looks amazing so soon after having her baby.
What’s my excuse?
I have this flabby layer on my hips. Floppy skin under my arms.
Is that a double chin?
Tears well in my eyes as I inspect myself.
My reflection is awful. Do I always look like this?
I back up until my legs hit the rails of the bed and collapse backwards. The ceiling blurs as the droplets smear down my cheeks.
This isn’t fair. I try so hard just to be hideous.
How can Alexei want me? I’m not good enough for him.
He’s always been there for me. Am I the one taking advantage of our friendship?
“Lara? Have you seen my—” He stops at the doorway of my room as I sit up quickly, wiping the tears streaking my face.
Before my hand leaves my skin, he’s on me.
Leaping onto the bed, he pins me against the mattress, arms and knees straddling me.
“What’s wrong?” His nose almost touches mine. “You were fine just a few minutes ago, what happened?”
There’s some things I just can’t put into words.
“Nothing. I’m having a hormonal moment.” I let my eyes close. I don’t think I can watch him when I lie to him.
“Lara, I know better.” His thumbs rub lightly over my lids before he forces them open to see his grinning face. “There’s my girl. Come on, let’s get up. Enzo needs us at the club. Top secret super spy stuff.” He flashes his silver tooth before bouncing off of me.
His rough palms tug at my wrists and he pulls me until I’m sitting.
“You can just go without me.” I don’t feel like being around people today.
Alexei clenches his jaw as he stares at me. “Lara, I don’t go anywhere without you if I can help it. You’re my person.”
Even when I’m hardest on myself, he’s there to do his best to guide me out of that darkness.
I hope that never changes.
“What do you think he wants?” I follow close, letting Alexei tug me along with him.
He shrugs. “Enzo always works in mystery. A fog of intrigue. In the shadows of darkness.”
I giggle and tug down my tight skirt.
Alexei had insisted I looked amazing in it, but my nervousness is getting the better of me.
“Where did you get those lines from? They sound like tags from a mystery movie.”
“I like those old black and white ones. You know, from when we were kids and that’s all that would play from America?” He smiles before we reach the main doors.
I’m nervous about being in public with him. It’s like a million eyes are watching us now that we are more than friends.
I still haven’t told my brothers. The thought makes my stomach twist into knots.
Mikhail may be okay with it, but Nikolai might not be.
Stepping up onto the curb, I let my fingers slip from his grasp under the guise of adjusting my hem again.
He comes to a full stop and sticks out his palm.
I hesitate.
Enzo tells Mikhail everything.
Especially something this big.
“What’s wrong?” he whispers.
We’re both standing on the sidewalk. It may be dark, but the heat from the Vegas sun radiates back from the concrete beneath our feet.
When I don’t answer, he tilts his head to look over his shoulder at me with one eye. “Are you embarrassed?”
“What the hell? No. I don’t want you to die.”
“You think Enzo wouldn’t already know? The man is a god. He sees everything, hears everything. He knows.” He shakes his hand, beckoning me to take it.
I slip my fingers around his thumb and walk next to him.
The cool rush of air pours over us when he opens the door.
“Alexei.” He nods at the girl at the desk inside.
She gives him a stiff smile and presses a hidden buzzer to open the second entryway.
“She doesn’t like you?” I whisper as we make our way into the huge foyer. The low pump of music is almost too deep to hear easily, but I can feel it in my chest.
“We had a miscommunication.” He winks at me, then leads me to the bar. “What do you want?”
“Um, how about some Prosecco?” I haven’t had anything bubbly in a while, and it isn’t overly sweet.
Alexei gestures for the bartender and orders.
“So, if Enzo already knows, does that mean we can have some fun here?” I lean against the wall and look out over the diagram showing all of the different rooms and their themes.
Before I take another breath, he pins me to the brick with his hand laced around my throat.
His knee pushes my tight skirt to its limits when he shoves it between my thighs.
“If you’re wearing panties, no. If you aren’t, then yes, we can play.” His hot breath tickles along my neck, then he tilts my head to suck my earlobe between his teeth.
“You’ll have to find out.” My nails dig into his shoulders and pull him closer.
His fingers move down my hip and dance under the end of my dress, tracing a hot path up my leg to my?—
“Alexei? This way please.” Enzo calls out from the hall.
Alexei growls against my skin. “I’ll discover your secret before the day is done.” He peels himself away from me and whisks me with him to Enzo’s office.
“Sit.” Enzo points at the two leather chairs framing his long black desk.
He leans back in his executive seat and leans back, swiveling to point at a large bank of monitors on the wall next to him.
“Alexei, I want you to explain this.” He clicks a button and pulls up a screen of text messages. “Who is Max and how did he contact you with Tatiana? That number has been scrubbed since you got a hold of him.” Enzo turns back with his brows knotted.
Alexei shrugs, still firmly holding my hand. “I’ve known him since we were kids.”
Enzo runs his palm over his face, then smooths back his dark curly hair. “But how did you find him to get her information?”
Alexei blinks slowly. “I told you.”
I don’t understand what’s going on. “Alexei.” I pat his knuckles. “Just tell him.” I don’t remember anyone by that name, but I know Alexei had a lot of friends through the years.
He has a way of charming people without even trying.
Alexei glances at me, his lips pursed. “It isn’t a mystery. He was my dealer when I was younger.”
Now I’m really confused. He hasn’t done real drugs as long as I’ve known him. Said it reminded him too much of his father.
“What did he deal?” Enzo threads his fingers on the pile of papers in front of him.
He looks like he’s almost at his limit.
“Jawbreakers.” Alexei grins, showing his silver tooth and chomps his teeth.
Enzo shakes his head. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” With a sigh, he slumps into his chair. “I need you to find her again. I can’t get a good picture on her. Anywhere. And then I find out you met with her? Face to face?”
“No, that isn’t how it went. She was in disguise.” Alexei stops him. “I only saw a partial side shot of her in Russia when I went to get Niki. So, I’m not even sure it was really her I talked to here.”
Enzo sputters. “ Here? ”
Alexei nods, nonchalantly.
“She was here, in Vegas? Shit! When?” Enzo’s fingers fly to his keyboard and he starts bringing up camera feeds.
“Um, it was how I found Lara. So that day.” Alexei squeezes my hand before throwing me a wink.
“Wait, I didn’t know that. Did you make a deal with her to find me?” I know how dangerous that woman is.
Her reputation precedes her. I know how much Mila worries about her.
Being in her debt is terrifying.
And Alexei put himself there.
“Shh. It’s okay.” He blows me a kiss.
“No, it’s not,” Enzo grumbles from his computer. He points to the screen above him where two Reapers are walking towards my Alexei on a corner.
After a few words which we can’t hear, Alexei jumps a man and drags him into the building behind.
The image scratches as Enzo fast forwards past Jax going inside.
Alexei steps into the street, covered in blood.
I barely remember that day, but I wondered why.
Now I know.
I think I’m going to be sick.
“Which one of those Reapers was her?” Enzo rewinds to show a tall and short bearded man talking to Alexei.
He zooms in the grainy image, but it’s almost like they knew the camera was there, never turning their faces for a better angle.
“Motherfucker,” Enzo mutters as he tries several other tricks to try and improve the resolution.
I tug on Alexei’s arm to draw his attention. “What did you promise her?”
He lets go and cups my cheek with his palm, this thumb smoothing over the scar on the corner of my mouth. “For you? Anything. I’d promise the world and the moon. I’d have dived to the center of the earth or floated out to the middle of the ocean to have one more chance with you.”
My throat tightens. I had no idea.
“Oh.” What do I say to that?
“Fuck!” Enzo flips his keyboard hard enough it lands on the floor near my foot.
“What’s the big deal?” Alexei still has his eyes on me, acting completely unfazed by Enzo’s outburst.
“She’s a chameleon. I’ve been chasing down leads on someone very important, and I know that—” He points angrily at the frozen image. “—monster is the key to finding them. But I can’t get to her.”
“Who?” Alexei reaches down and picks up the computer piece from the tile and slides it across the desk.
Enzo stops and looks at him with wide eyes and flared nostrils.
He pants heavily before flattening his palms on his thighs. “It’s a story for another time,” he grunts.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen him worked up. Even in the most hectic and dangerous situations, Enzo has always been the pinnacle of calm, cool, and collected.
Today, he’s acting…bizarre.
“Are you okay?” I ask him quietly.
“It’s frustrating as hell to get so close, and still can’t get the answers I’m looking for.” He wipes his face with his hand before shifting to rub his temples. “It’s been years.”
As if a switch has been flipped, he straightens his spine and neutralizes his features. “Thank you both, that’s everything I need.”
Alexei jumps up and reaches for my fingers. “Come on, we need to go.”
“What the hurry?” I close the office behind me, leaving Enzo with his blurry nemesis.
“I have my own obsessive mystery to solve.” He pulls me down the hall at a brisk pace, past a row of blacked out windows.
Spinning me into his arms, he presses his body against me, pinning me to a dark door.
“Now, tell me.” His lips hover over mine, making heat race though me.
“I have no panties on,” I whisper just as he crashes his mouth against me.