36. Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Six
Blaire
I ’m lost in my thoughts, staring out Dallas’ childhood window when there’s a knock at the door before it slowly creaks open. Dallas’ mom, Amy, and his sister, Kinsey, stand there with a bowl of popcorn and a grocery bag full of things.
“Are you up for some company?” Kinsey chirps, her chocolate brown hair piled high on the top of her head. She’s got a head of dark hair like Sawyer and Carter, and the bluest eyes, just like Dallas.
I scoot back on to the bed so that I’m sitting upright against the headboard, the pain in my lower abdomen a mild throb now. Dallas’ family has been so incredibly welcoming. They’ve completely taken me in and treated me like one of their own. Kinsey has stopped by a few times a week to hang out with me and go for walks around the house since it’s too cold to walk outside right now. If I hadn’t already fallen in love with his family, I would have after this. They’ve given me something that I’ve never had before and it comes with appreciation, but also a longing so deep that it mixes with the pain. Dallas won’t want me after I finally open up about my hysterectomy, and that breaks my heart most of all. I suppose I should enjoy this time before I lose them, too.
“I’d actually love some company. What did you have in mind?”
“Well, we heard that we share a love of the same movie. How do you feel about a little Mr. Darcy tonight?”
I laugh, always in the mood to watch Pride and Prejudice .
“How’d you know that was my favorite?”
“A little birdy told us. It’s also Mom’s favorite, so I’ve seen it a million times.”
They climb into bed with me, dumping the snacks out in front of us and putting the bowl of popcorn down. Happiness fills me. I reach for the Twizzlers Pull ‘n’ Peel, opening the package and pulling one out as Amy finds the movie to put on.
“Is everything okay with you and my brother?” Kinsey asks.
“I don’t know how to answer that, honestly.”
She looks at me with sympathy.
“No one knows better than I do how difficult my brothers can be. Want to talk about it?”
“You’re his sister, Kinsey, and I doubt your mom wants to hear all of this.”
“I assure you; I don’t mind. I know my boys and they take after their father. So if anyone is equipped to listen to what his stubborn ass did and give advice, it’s me,” Amy says.
Stunned, I blink at them for a few moments. I assumed that they would blindly defend any of their own, but here I stand corrected. Again. Not having anyone else to lean on at the moment and no family of my own, I tell them everything, minus the fact that Dallas is a Dom and all of our sexcapades. I confess my background, my lies to Sawyer in an attempt to make myself not look so pathetic and desperate, trying my best to start a new life. When I tell them that Dallas had hired a PI to dig up my background when I wouldn’t initially open up to him, his mom wipes away her tears and finally speaks.
“My stupid, stupid boy. He really is just like his father and brothers. The males in our family are a different breed.”
“I know it’s not an excuse, Blaire, what my brother did was damn wrong and a huge invasion of privacy, but if he didn’t care with every fiber of his being, he wouldn’t have done what he did. It does not make it right, he’s an idiot. But these Hayes boys see something they want, and they can’t see anything else.”
“Kinsey’s right, unfortunately. Their father was the same way. Brutally protective and possessive. Hell, he still is, the crazy man. But they come from love. In his eyes, he saw an issue you were fighting and wanted to do everything in his power to either fight that battle for you, be educated on the situation enough to help you fight it yourself, or get rid of it completely. He couldn’t see past how that may negatively impact you and I hate that his blind, brute stubbornness caused you any amount of pain. You are justified in how you feel.”
“He loves you, Blaire. Anyone would be a fool not to see it.”
“I know he does. I feel it. I love him, too,” I confess. And it feels freeing to say it out loud again, even if it isn’t to Dallas. I know that I’ve already forgiven him for getting all of that information on me. But it’s the only thing I can hang onto to keep him at a distance. I continue to keep my infertility a secret, not ready to have anyone try to comfort me regarding it. I’ve accepted it because what’s my alternative? It’s a blessing in disguise. The line of Hollis will end with me, so long as they never procreated after I was born.
“Enough of all that! Let’s watch Mr. Darcy fall hopelessly in love with Elizabeth and screw it all up in the process.”
“So, basically a man in love then?” I add, and we all laugh.
The three of us sit in the big bed together like we’ve done it all our lives, and I spend more time looking at both of them out of the corner of my eyes than I do watching my favorite movie. We munch on popcorn, skittles, and Twizzlers Pull ‘n’ Peel, like it’s the most comfortable, easy thing in the entire world. And for a moment, I allow myself to imagine they’re my mom and sister, helping me through heartbreak, and I’m not so alone in this big world.
When I wake up the next morning, my body is not happy. Everything is tight, sore, and aching. I’ve healed from physical trauma before, but the mix of internal and external injuries is wreaking havoc on my drained body. I roll over and moan, my full bladder cramping and spasming in protest. Opening my eyes, I look around the empty guestroom and muster the strength to leave the comfort of the warm bed. The bathroom tile is cold on my feet as I walk through the room to do my business. After using the bathroom, something I have to brace myself for since the hysterectomy because it’s ridiculously painful, I toss my hair up and leave the bedroom to find some food and stretch my legs.
Not a few steps out of the room, I walk into the living room, stunned to find Dallas sleeping on the couch. I look him over for a brief moment, his large body much too big to lay comfortably where he is. He’s in gray sweats and a baggy Aspen Ridge Distillery hoodie, his arm draped over his eyes. I walk slowly into the kitchen, trying to stay quiet, when I find Dallas’ dad sitting at the bar drinking a cup of coffee. I haven’t spent much time with him outside of Sunday dinners, but he is so loved and respected by his family that I’m at ease in his presence.
He has a full head of salt and pepper hair, a strong jaw that slightly droops on the left side around his mouth, and his eyes are a similar blue to Dallas’. For a fleeting moment, I can picture what he’ll look like when he’s his father’s age.
“Good morning, Mr. Hayes.”
“M-morning, Blaire.”
“Why is he sleeping on the couch? He didn’t go home?”
“He hasn’t been to his house since the night of your accident,”
“Wait, he hasn’t gone home at all?”
“Nope. Said he’s not leaving you.”
“Oh. Okay, well why didn’t he sleep in one of the other beds?”
“Couch was closest to you.”
I cover my mouth with my hand, overwhelmed with emotion. I should have known better. Of course he hasn’t left me, he loves me. I feel it in everything he does now, in every look, touch, word, and action. There’s no denying that Dallas Hayes is head over heels in love with me. I just don’t want that love to be the reason that he gives up on ever becoming a father.
Speaking of the devil himself, he walks into the kitchen where I’m pouring us both a mug of hot black coffee. He walks right up to me and plants a kiss on my temple, my eyes closing the moment his lips touch my skin.
“Good morning, princess. I can do this, want to go sit on the couch?”
“Actually, I need to stretch my legs, are you up for a small walk?”
“Of course I am. Let me throw these into to-go mugs and we can go.”
I return to the bedroom and pull on some thick socks and a fleece sweater. When I meet Dallas in the mudroom in the back of the house, he pulls a thick sweatshirt over my head for an added layer and helps me pull on my boots.
“How are your nightmares? Have you had any since your accident?” he asks after a few minutes of walking in silence.
“I haven’t. I think my body has been too exhausted to dream.”
“Whatever you want to tell yourself, princess.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You know I chase every bad dream you have away when I’m close to you. But sure, blame it on being tired.”
“That’s a pretty pompous assumption, but I expect nothing less from you.”
“It’s the truth and you damn well know it. Fight it all you want, but you and I both know that pretty little head of yours and that sexy body knows it’s safe with me, it’s your heart that’s fucked-up and not on board right now. But I’m going to fix that.”
“Dallas. Please, you need to let this go. There is no us anymore. There barely was an us to begin with.”
“Like hell there isn’t. Say whatever you want to me, call me every name in the book, hell, fuckin’ hit me if you need to, but don’t you dare lie to me.”
I open my mouth with a retort but close it. I hate that he’s mostly right, except my heart is on board. It’s pounding loudly in my chest, telling me to go to him, that he’s the one man on the planet who’s for me, my match in every way.
“I looked up my abuser. He was released from prison. But did you already know that?”
Dallas stops walking and turns to me, his face bearing an unreadable expression that worries me.
“Baby, I never looked at that file. I shouldn’t have ever gotten it in the first place. But I need to talk to you about something that I’ve been putting off.”
My feet freeze, and I turn to face Dallas, his gorgeous eyes bouncing back and forth between my own, concern and worry etched into his features.
“Baby girl, we have reason to believe that your crash wasn’t an accident.” He pauses and studies my face, waiting for a reaction I’m not going to give him. I stand still, standing stronger than I feel, so he continues. “We weren’t positive who, even though I had a feeling. But now that you’ve said he was released . . .”
“It was him.”
“Yeah, baby. We think so.”
“While we figure out what to do, I can have Wes keep an eye on him. I can make sure he contacts you if you don’t want me involved. But if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll do whatever you need. It’s taking all I have to not lead this and hunt him down to make him pay for what he’s done to you.”
I think about his offer for a moment as we slowly walk up the long driveway, Dallas’ warm arm looped through mine to prevent me from falling. I know that the offer is a good one. One that hadn’t crossed my mind. At least this time when he hires the PI, he’s including me and asking for permission first.
“Yeah, I think I would like to know where he is and that he’s staying far away from me. He tried to fucking kill me, Dallas. Shouldn’t we take whatever info you have to the police?”
“He won’t get close to you again. I’d do anything for you, baby. I’ll take care of it and make sure eyes are on him. Maybe if we’re lucky he’ll just do the world a favor and die.”
“We can only hope.”
He stops walking again and pulls me gently to a stop before facing me. The features on his face are tight, serious, and I feel an ominous chill slide down my back. I’m suddenly nervous.
“What is it?”
“What if I told you there’s a way to make that happen?”
“For him to die?”
“Yeah. What if I could make him go away?”
I search his eyes for any evidence of a lie or being totally full of shit but I see nothing but determination and honesty reflected back in them. I think about my innocence that was taken from me, the pain, trauma, all of the nightmares that haunt me while I sleep, how sick men like him can’t be rehabilitated. They’re an evil that shouldn’t walk the earth.
“Then I’d say thank you.”
Dallas’ shoulders relax before wrapping his big arms around me, and I lean into him, resting my head on his chest and taking a deep breath. He doesn’t say any more. I don’t want to ask, and I don’t want the details, but imagining a life knowing that my abuser was erased from this earth brings me another level of peace that I didn’t think was possible.
Because of Dallas.