40. Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty
Dallas
T he last few weeks have been the most miserable of my life. I can’t remember a time when I’ve felt this helpless. I need control. Blaire still hasn’t flat-out told me that we’re done, that she doesn’t love or want me, so I haven’t given up on her. But it’s worn me down and my patience is almost nonexistent now. Nothing is the same without her. My fear over her foster father coming after her again has made sleep and focus near impossible while I wait for Reid to handle this shit as discreetly as possible. Andrew Cain won’t get another opportunity to hurt her again.
“Are you listening?” Carter asks from across my desk, where we were supposed to be discussing the feature we’re getting in a travel magazine.
“Sorry, man. I’m just not with it.”
“Look, I get it, Dal. I do. But we’ve got to iron out these details.”
“I think we should go with your ideas. You know the PR side better than I do. I trust you not to fuck things up for us.”
His head snaps back slightly, his facial expression jarred.
“Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”
“I’m serious. You know what you’re doing. I’ll shut my mouth and follow your lead.”
“Well, shit. Okay. By the way, I met with Sawyer and Lorelei, we all agreed with Blaire’s proposal and your amendment to it. It’s brilliant. But act surprised whenever Sawyer tells you.”
Fuck yes. She’s going to be so happy.
“And Liam?”
Carter scratches behind his neck nervously.
“He’s, uhh, been a little preoccupied.”
My phone goes off, and worried that it’s Blaire, I snatch it up off my desk. She moved back into her apartment, and it’s made me so uneasy, even if I’m finding reasons to show up and make sure she’s safe, just needing to lay eyes on her. She hasn’t realized it yet, but I’ve been sleeping in my car outside of Rogue. Sleeping being a relative term, more like watching. I may not be able to hold her through the night anymore, but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to watch over my woman.
Reid:
She’s safe.
I breathe a huge sigh of relief, the weight of the world lifting off my shoulders from those two words. At least we gave her this. She’ll never have to worry about him coming after her again. Instead of texting Sawyer, I leave Carter and walk down the hallway to his office, knocking twice before opening the door.
“Get the fuck OUT!” Sawyer roars, before the door is open enough for me to walk through. I pull it closed and laugh, waiting outside for Ivy to leave. The door opens and Sawyer kisses Ivy before she walks away. I face my brother with a smug, shit-eating grin plastered to my face.
“Well, hello pot, meet kettle. I love a day when I get to shove shit in your face. Today, my brother, you are a hypocrite of epic proportions.”
He grabs my shirt with his fist and pushes me against the wall. I let him, giving him a toothy smile the entire time.
“You ever walk into my office again without waiting for an invitation, I’ll knock your teeth down your throat.”
“Shivering in my boots, shithead. Isn’t sex supposed to chill us out?”
“Not when it’s interrupted by asshole twin brothers. What the hell did you need?”
“Besides giving you an instructional manual on how to lock your door?”
“Get to the point, Dal.”
“Everything with Blaire has been taken care of.”
He lifts his eyes to me in question.
“Reid?”
I nod.
“Now what are you going to do?”
“Get my girl back.”
I juggle our coffees in my hand, along with her chocolate croissant, and rap my knuckles against her door. It’s only a few moments that feel like an eternity until she opens it. Her hair is in messy waves that frame her full face that is bare of any makeup. The freckles that dust under her eyes are so prominent when she goes without it, and I wish she’d go barefaced more often. I give her a knowing smirk when I notice that she’s wearing one of my Aspen Ridge Distillery T-shirts and nothing else. She wouldn’t do that if she didn’t miss me.
“What do you want, Dallas?” she snaps, her hand leaning on the door frame, blocking me from entering.
“You, baby.”
“That can’t happen. So you can stop bringing me coffee and food. Stop being so kind to me. Stop sending me flowers. Just stop.”
“If I thought, even for even a moment, that you meant all the bullshit you just spewed, then I would. I would walk out of your life knowing no woman will ever replace you. I’d wish you the best. But your full of fucking shit, princess, and we both know it.”
“Dallas . . .” Her eyes flutter closed, her shoulders sagging.
Enough is enough.
“Let me in,” I demand. “Now. Or do you finally want to learn what happens when I have to repeat myself?” I use the voice she knows all too well and has always responded to.
Her eyes flash open to meet mine and the emotion reflected in them skyrockets my fucking hope to the moon. She turns and walks into her apartment, leaving the door wide open for me. Walking in, I kick the door shut behind me and follow her to the futon she’s currently using as a couch. Handing her the coffee and pastry, I take a seat on the opposite end from her.
“Blaire, I will give you as much time as you need, but I won’t stop caring for you. I won’t stop showing up for you and being there for you. And there’s no fuckin’ way I’ll stop loving you. I am yours. I want you to be mine.”
“You don’t understand, Dallas. You don’t want me. Why won’t you let this go? I’m trying to save you! You thought I was damaged before? That was nothing compared to now!”
“Then tell me what the hell is going on, Blaire. Help me understand!”
“I can’t fucking have children! I can’t give you a family!” she screams, pushing her hands through her hair and sagging deeper into the couch.
The words confuse me before everything slides in place like a fucked-up missing puzzle piece. The doctor told us that the damage to her abdomen was extensive, but that Blaire would need to share the complications with whom she wanted when she was ready. Holy shit, I didn’t even put it together. My heart breaks for my poor girl, and I have to wipe away the tears that fall freely from my eyes. Everything she has been through, and life throws her this to top it off. If that motherfucker wasn’t already dead I’d prolong his death for as long as possible to inflict pain on him over and over again before giving him the relief that death would bring. I move closer to her, the front of our bodies facing each other, combing my fingers through her hair and holding her face in my hands.
“I am so fucking sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.”
“There’s no way you’ll want me now. That’s why I’ve been pushing you away. I don’t want to be left again, Dallas. No one has ever chosen me until you. And if you left like everyone else has, I wouldn’t survive it,” she whispers.
My stubborn, traumatized girl. I am not like anyone from her past. I pull her face up, forcing her to look at me. I look into her eyes when I speak so there’s no chance of her not hearing my words and the truth behind them.
“I’ll gladly repeat this as many times as you need to hear it, princess. You are not damaged, you never have been. I want you . I want every version of you. I wanted you the moment I first laid eyes on you. I want you now when we’re both young. I want you when we’re old and falling apart. There is nothing, nothing , Blaire, that will change that.”
“You can’t mean that, Dallas. Kids are so important to people.”
“I mean it with every fiber of my being. All I need is you. Your love, your sass, that fire in your eyes, your body, that vile little mouth. You. Only you. And if you need more than that, if you want kids, baby, we can adopt. Or foster. We can give kids a better childhood and chance at life than the one you had.”
Her face finally perks up and looks at me with something other than defeat and heartbreak.
“You mean that? You’d do that with me?”
“Baby, I’d do anything if it means I get you. I should spank your ass for keeping this from me.”
Her cheeks bloom with a blush and she bites the inside of her lip.
“I wanted to save you from having to make this choice, Dallas.”
“You’re such a goddamn pain in the ass. Do you seriously not realize how much I fucking love you?”
She nods her head as the tears fall over her glassy eyes and down her freckled cheeks, I can’t hold mine back any longer either. I lean into her, kissing her for the first time in weeks. Connecting with her like this feels like coming home. There’s no hesitation from her as she meets me halfway, her mouth opening to accept my tongue as I lick into her mouth, wanting nothing more than to devour her whole. I slow us down, pulling back and pecking a few soft kisses on her plump lips before looking at her again. Her eyes are a stormy mix of emotions, and it makes me wild for her. But first, we need to completely clear the air.
“I’m sorry. I need you to know that I meant what I said, I never opened that file. I started to fall for you when we were snowed in together and when you wouldn’t open up to me, I let the fear over what happened to Ivy cloud my judgment. If we hadn’t hired the PI, who knows what the outcome would have been for her. I knew you were hiding something big, baby, and I’m so sorry I took that step to breach your privacy. I’m a possessive, protective asshole and I was blinded by wanting to take care of you. And now you never have to worry about someone hurting you again.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry, too. I should have stayed and talked and listened to what you had to say, but seeing all of that compiled into a folder of my fucked-up life was a lot to take in. It was a painful reminder of my trust issues. You are the first person who I’ve felt safe with. You chase all my demons away and allow me to just be, and to see that you had broken that trust was just . . . heartbreaking.”
“Baby, I promise I never opened it, and I’m sorry that I got it in the first place, I never should have done that. Please forgive me. I will work every day to make sure you feel safe, loved, and cherished. I want that opportunity. I want us to move forward, I want you to go to sleep every night next to me, I never want you to have a bad dream again. Let me be there for you, let me take care of you, drive me fucking crazy every day like I know you love to do. I will get on my knees and beg if you want me to. I’d be a fucking slave to you, Blaire. Just please, forgive me.”
“Then do it.”
I freeze for a moment and look at her, reading nothing but a challenge on her face.
“What are you asking, Blaire?”
“Get on your knees, Dallas.”
Fucking gladly.
With my eyes on hers, I move to my knees on the floor four feet from her body and wait, hoping like hell she’ll let me touch her. I’ve missed her so damn much. If she had tried this shit months ago I would have punished her. But now? Now I’d get on my knees for her every single fucking day if it meant I could have a piece of her.
“Crawl to me.”
Yes ma’am.
I drop to all fours, my heart beating wildly out of my chest, and take a few steps until I’m in front of her, sitting at her feet just the way she’s done for me countless times before. My mouth is dry, waiting, and hopeful as she looks down at me, her deep blue eyes tracing over all of my features.
This time she’s the one to make the first move, shifting her body so that she straddles my legs on the floor, my hands automatically moving to the outside of her thighs, my fingers toying with the hem of the shirt barely covering her ass. She leans down and kisses me, it’s languid and passionate, our mouths opening and tongues caressing. Her moan is muffled between our lips as her body softens against mine. I kiss her with everything I have, hoping that she can feel how much she means to me, knowing words alone aren’t enough for her. She pulls away, my lips chasing her mouth for more.
“I forgive you, Dallas. What’s a queen without her king?”
The growl that leaves me is primal, deep, and possessive. My hand grabs the back of her neck, yanking her mouth into my own, taking back control. I kiss her hard and demanding—exactly how she likes it.
“Fuck, I missed you.”
“Then show me how much,” she challenges.
I stand, holding her under her ass as I pivot us, laying her down gently on her back and dropping to my knees on the floor in front of her.
“Be my good girl and scream for me.”
I push up her shirt, exposing her naked body from the waist down, surprised to see her without panties. I look at the three small scars that are still slightly raised and healing, the faint yellow from the fading bruises. I lean forward, kissing each of them gently before focusing on her pretty, bare pussy. I push her legs further apart, stretching her wide open for me. Her slit is glistening, already wet, and my mouth waters. Just like the first day I got to taste her spread out on my office desk, I waste no time.
I devour her.
Licking up her drenched slit repeatedly, loving her taste as it explodes on my tongue. I use my fingers on either side of her lips to pull her open further, before dipping my tongue into her cunt. I fuck her with it, moving in and out of her tight pussy walls as they clench around me, while my thumb moves over to stroke her little swollen clit. Her body spasms under me, soft moans steadily getting louder. I secretly hope they echo all the way to the studio downstairs. Fuck, I hope the whole fucking town hears her moans so they know she’s taken.
“I missed your delicious cunt, my queen.” I flick her clit a few times with the pointed tip of my tongue, and she bucks wildly. “I missed the way your thick thighs feel wrapped around my head.” I add more pressure, my tongue swirling around exactly how she likes it. “I missed the way you sound when you come.”
“Oh, god. Make me come, Dallas, please.”
“Like you have to ask, baby.”
I suck hard, pulling her throbbing clit into my mouth, and keep a hold of it with pulsing little sucks. She shatters and it’s fucking beautiful. Her back arches, her arms stretched out above her head as she digs her nails into the wooden armrest, her screams ricocheting across the walls of the small studio apartment.
“Dallas! Aah! God yes!”
Her body slackens into the futon mattress, and I pull back just enough to move lower. I lick into her pussy, wanting all of her cum, and when she gushes for me, I hum my approval.
“Fuck, you’re such a good fucking girl.”
“I love you, Dallas,” she whispers, and my entire world freezes.
“I love you, princess.”