29. Zyran
ZYRAN
Idon’t talk about Raiden, not like that, and not to anyone.
I’ve replayed it in my head more times than I can count: the warehouse, me getting shot, and how my legs just stopped working as they dragged him out.
But I’ve never said it out loud to another person.
It always felt like something that belonged to me alone, the guilt of it, the weight of watching your brother get taken while you’re bleeding out on the concrete floor and can’t do a single thing about it.
Esperr didn’t flinch, didn’t tell me it wasn’t my fault the way people do when they want to make themselves comfortable more than they want to make you feel better.
She just sat there in the water, letting me tell her how something changed inside me.
And I don’t know what to do with any of that except to sit here on the cold bathroom floor and think about how long it’s been since I’ve trusted anyone with something real.
I’m not sure when I started smiling, and I didn’t notice until she opened one eye and looked at me, dropping her gaze to my mouth and then back up.
“Alright,” she sighs, “I think I’m done.”
Pushing off the floor, my joints protest after sitting for so long, and once I’m up, I reach for the folded towel on the counter.
When I turn around, Esperr is already shifting toward the edge of the tub, one hand braced on the porcelain, and I hold my hand out for her to take.
Her grip is solid as she stands, and I search over her face, seeing her color sort of come back, and her eyes are more steady than before.
Wrapping the towel around her shoulders, she grabs the corners and closes it around her.
“Better?” I ask, reaching down to the plug and pulling it.
“Marginally,” she mutters and steps over the tub onto the shower mat.
I shuffle around and stand near the door as she reaches for her clothes on the counter, then lean against the wall as she pulls the large shirt over her head and drops the towel on the counter.
The headache is still there—I can tell by the way she moves, slow and a little stiff, but it’s better than it was before.
She’s present in a way she wasn’t an hour ago.
“You know,” she starts, leaning a hip on the counter, “you’ve seen me naked.”
I look at her and blink.
Because she’s damn straight, I’ve seen her naked—I couldn’t stop staring. Not when I saw the two back dimples and the freckle on her left ass cheek.
Esperr looks at me, completely straight-faced.
“Just think about it.”
Like I haven’t been—like it hasn’t been sitting in the back of my head since the moment I helped her over the edge of that tub; a constant low frequency hum underneath every word she’s said has gone straight to my cock.
I push off the frame, taking a step towards her.
She doesn’t move, just watches me close the distance between us with that expression she gets, the one that’s hard to read until I remember that it’s not hard to read at all—she’s just waiting for me to figure it out.
“What are you trying to get at, Esperr?”
The corner of her mouth moves, almost a smile, and a brow rises. “Just trying to figure out what will make you snap.”
I take another step forward. “Now, why would you want that?”
She looks up at me and holds my gaze—for a second I think she might deflect, might wrap it in something easier the way she sometimes does when something gets too close to the truth.
But she doesn’t.
“Because I’ve been thinking about you,” she whispers. “Way before I probably should have, and I want to know if you’ve been thinking about me the same way.”
The bathroom is very quiet, so much so that you could hear a pin drop.
I look at her for a long moment; she probably is assuming I’m not going to say anything. Her gaze is steady, her chin lifts slightly, and she stands her ground as if she had dared herself to say it and won’t back down now.
“You already know the answer to that.”
Her tongue darts out, swiping across her bottom lip. “Yes, I want to hear you say it.”
I close the last of the distance, and she tilts her chin up, holding my gaze.
“You want to know what I think?” my voice comes out rough and quieter. “I think about the girl who runs to work, who does it every single morning like she’s got something to prove or maybe just somewhere to be, or like she’s running from something.”
She goes still but doesn’t back down.
“I think about those damn doodles on the cups.” Something flickers across her eyes.
“On. Every. Single. One. I’ve kept them all, for the record.
And I think about the fact that despite everything—everything you’ve been through, everything you carry, you keep your head up.
” I search her face for any sigh that tells me to shut up, but there’s not; instead, I swear I see a challenge.
Taking her face in my hands, I lean forward.
“With you it’s like I can breathe. It’s like I can laugh again, and every time you smile, I can’t help but want to be the reason it stays there.”
Esperr eyes search mine, trying to find the lie. But she won’t find any, and she never will.
“That’s the part I know how to give you.” My thumb brushes her jaw, and I hold her gaze, not daring to look away. “But there’s another part…the one I’ve been keeping back because I’m not sure you’re ready, I’m not sure I’m ready, and I can’t lose you.”
“What kind of part?” she asks, not missing a single beat.
“The kind that wants you completely at my will. The kind that doesn’t know how to want anything quietly or halfway. I want you at my will, under me, on top of me. I want you taking my cock and begging for more because you’re completely a mess.”
There’s a moment that I think she’s going to tell me to stop, that she’s going to kick me out of her apartment—and then she’s raising a brow, the corner of her mouth picking up into a smirk.
“Show me.”
I don’t even give her another second to think about what she’s said—I close the distance and slam my mouth against hers.
She makes a small sound, probably shocked that she didn’t have to fight with me on this, and then she’s kissing me back just as hard.
Our tongues brushing against the other, both fighting for dominance.
I yank the rest of her into me, her body molding against mine, and she sighs, opening her mouth for me.
Everything about her is hot and intense, her taste nearly overwhelming me. Her hands slid around my back, gripping my shirt as my tongue strokes and teases her.
I could kiss her forever and never grow tired of it.
Bending down, I grab the backs of her thighs and lift. Esperr doesn’t miss a beat, her arms wrapping around my neck and legs around my waist.
I turn in the bathroom and start walking, praying that I don’t knock into anything as I head towards her room.
She weaves her fingers through my hair, pulling on the strands as I let her take over the kiss.
I don’t want to stop kissing her, but I also want to explore her body; I want her to wither in pleasure on her bed, which is where I drop her.
Esperr lets out a grunt, eyes popping open as I step back, smiling.
Suddenly she slides down her bed and drops to her knees on the floor.
“Esperr—” I start to warn, but she cuts me off as her hands slide up my thighs and hurriedly open the fly of my pants.
I open my mouth to tell her to slow down, that she doesn’t need to rush, and that I’m not leaving, but she short circuits my brain once more by pulling my boxers down and releasing my aching cock.
“Fuck,” I grunt as she wraps her hand around my length.
“The last guy… he told me I was too toothy…” she mutters.
I frown and open my mouth to tell her she could bite my cock in half and I wouldn’t mind, but for the third time I don’t get a chance. Not when she suddenly swallows me.
My head falls back, and I weave my fingers through her hair, cupping the back of her head.
She pulls back until just the tip is pressed against her lips, giving me a small kiss before her tongue runs along the underside of my shaft.
And then she takes me back into her mouth—she takes all of me down her throat, swallowing around my tip as her hands reach around my ass.
Pleasure courses through me, shivers spreading across my skin enough that my legs shake a tad bit. And that only seems to encourage her to keep going, pulling back, and then slamming me back down her throat.
It’s then that I feel one hand tug on my balls, rolling them around her fingers, while her other hand sneaks around my ass, teasing my asshole.
My eyes pop open, snapping to hers, finding her already staring at me. Somehow she’s got a brow raised, as if she’s asking permission or waiting for me to tell her no.
I’ve never had a finger in my ass, but something about this makes me say fuck it–and I widen my stance.
She pulls back for just two seconds, wetting her finger before kissing my cock again.
My hands must have fallen from her head at some point, so I moved them back to her head, cupping the back of her head, and thrust myself into her mouth.
Esperr takes that as an opportunity to slide her wet finger between my cheeks again, finding my asshole.
Between fucking her face and her yanking on my balls, the pleasure is so intense that I almost miss when she slips her finger into me.
“Ah fuck,” I hiss, my thrusting pausing for just a second before I shove myself back down her throat.
Esperr gags, but I don’t let up. Her spit slides down her chin, dripping onto the floor as I thrust harder and harder into her. She turns her finger in me, trying to find that spot inside me as her eyes fill with water.
Her mouth stretches around my cock, looking like a beautiful goddess that I can’t wait to worship.
The moment she finds my g-spot in my ass, it’s like everything inside me heightens; the feeling of her mouth on me, the warmth and?—
“Fuck, I’m going to cum,” I groan, and pull out of her mouth. But Esperr yanks me forward, swallowing me again, and I don’t have a chance to warn her before I shoot down her throat.