Chapter 10 #2
“Samantha.” His tone softened, and he sat forward, moving his hands to rest on his knees. “Sam, do not think I have not been through my own trials and heartbreak.”
Heartbreak—he kept coming back to the word.
The farthest thing from her mind was heartbreak, but what did Elijah know of it?
Had he loved a woman only to have her rip his heart from his chest and crush it under her dance slipper?
Or worse yet, was he still in love with a lady who did not return his affection?
It was a shocking—and impossible—thought. At some point, Sam had come to think of the man as hers; no other woman had a right to him physically or emotionally.
“Tell me what you know of heartbreak,” Sam mumbled, avoiding eye contact, fearful of what he’d see in her green stare.
“That is certainly not going to happen until you inform me what sent you to tears,” he refuted.
Sam pushed to her feet and crossed her arms, pacing toward him only to reel and walk back toward the bed.
“If you will not tell me, then I will have to guess.” One brow rose, and his smile returned as he tapped his chin in thought. “Let me see…”
“You will not guess, my lord.” Unless he’d already heard gossip below stairs—which was highly probable. It would injure her further to know he’d sat before her all this time and knew exactly what had brought her to tears but was forcing her to say the words aloud.
“Oh, I assure you, I am most adept at hide and seek, Miss Samantha.” He chuckled and sat back once more in his slouched position. “My grandfather was known to lose—or as he called it, hide—things about his estate. I spent many hours finding items he’d misplaced.”
“This is not hide and seek,” she countered, pivoting once more to face him.
“Hidden or lost emotions are no different than misplaced physical items.”
The notion that he could somehow deduce what had upset her was not appealing, but she had no intention of speaking of her family’s shame—especially with Lord Ridgefeld, who was little more than a stranger.
“Are you missing a pet back in London, mayhap a kitten?” His eyes widened when Sam’s mouth betrayed her, her lips curling slightly. “Oh, I know…a parakeet!”
“Heavens, what would ever make you think I have a bird?” Sam couldn’t help but laugh at his obvious jest.
“Well,” Elijah sat forward once more, taking her in from head to toe. “Sometimes, it takes more than one guess. Allow me to think.”
He made a production of closing his eyes and sighing loudly.
Sam tapped her slippered foot on the bare floor.
Finally, his eyes sprang open. “I know, you forgot your favored gown in town and now you will be forced to borrow a maid’s garb for the wedding tomorrow morning.”
“Do not be ridiculous, my lord.” Sam sighed with exasperation. “If I had forgotten my gown, I would simply borrow one of Jude’s.
“Your sister is marrying Lord Cartwright tomorrow, which will leave you alone. You will miss her companionship. Mayhap you even—begrudgingly—envy her finding Cartwright.”
Sam turned back toward the bed to hide her look of utter shock.
Her own musings spoken aloud. It was true, she did feel all those things, though she was hesitant to admit to envying her twin in any way; however, it gave Sam something to latch on to—something that had nothing to do with Beauchamp, his sudden, unexpected arrival, and his abandonment of his twin daughters over eighteen years prior.
“You are quite accomplished, indeed,” Sam said, twisting toward him once more. “Though I am very happy for Jude. She is in love. Simon is her perfect match—their temperaments and interests align closely. They will suit each other well.”
“However, this leaves you alone,” he prodded.
“Certainly not,” Sam said with a chuckle. “I have Marce, Garrett, and Payton.”
“But Payton is little more than a child.”
“She has reached her seventeenth year, my lord.” Sam heard the hostility in her tone and wished she could take it back, but Elijah didn’t seem to notice. “She will be presented to society next season; that is if she can control her vices for another year.”
“I do know a thing or two about being alone—and the sorrow it brings to a person.” The dark shadow returned to his eyes. “I have lost, but am trying to move forward.”
Sam was instantly remorseful for her insensitivity.
“My apologies, Elijah.” She sank into the tall-backed chair that matched his.
“You lost your grandfather recently, and here I am, laboring over Jude’s marriage and departure from our townhouse.
All the while, I should be content she is still with us and happy beyond anything I’ve ever seen. ”
Elijah sighed. “That is not why I brought up my recent loss, Sam.”
If he said another word after uttering her name aloud, she didn’t process it. She could listen to him say her name—whisper her name, yell her name, sigh her name—for the rest of her stay in Derbyshire.
“Are you listening to me at all? Here I am, a poor sap, baring my soul, and you are not so much as hearing me.” Elijah stood, stepping before her chair.
She tilted her chin upward to see his face and avoid staring at his midsection—knowing what lay just a bit south of his waistband.
“As I was saying, the best medicine for melancholy is distraction.”
She wondered if he suspected he’d been her distraction since his arrival.
And, oh, what a wonderful diversion he was.
She made the foolish mistake of lowering her chin, her eyes shifting from his face to his lips, and farther down to his broad chest straining against the thin linen shirt below his coat.
She gulped, bringing her eyes back to his. “I am accomplished in the art of distraction.”
“I have no doubt,” he whispered as he leaned close. “Were you in the study last night looking for a distraction?”
“My book!” She’d almost forgotten about the set of volumes and the one he’d taken with him the previous night.
“Correction, Lord Cummings’ book.”
“Possession is what matters, my lord.”
“Then I would say I am the rightful owner of the book because it is in my possession.”
“I want it back,” Sam demanded, her stare hardening. “You may collect it and bring it to me.”
“I will do no such thing.” He laughed, standing straight once more. “Besides, the proper thing to do is return the book to its rightful place…before anyone notices it is missing.”
“And if I do not want to return it yet?” Blast it all, Sam wanted another peek at its wicked pages. Maybe more than a peek—she’d collect the entire collection, but that would certainly draw attention to the bare shelf. “I have not learned all I seek to know.”
“I think it best you find another distraction—one that is not as ruinous.”
It would be disastrous if she were found in possession of the scandalous book, but Sam could think of no other way to learn the ways of the flesh without questioning Garrett—which was not an option—or begging Ellie to confide what the marriage bed held.
But…she did have another option, and he stood right in front of her. “Are you offering to teach me, my lord?”