Chapter 26 #2
He didn’t want another governess, and neither would Joy and Abram.
Payton had healed their family. She’d shown them they could move forward, despite what they’d all lost. Honoring Sarah and the past they shared together did not mean forsaking his future.
Damon pushed to his feet, stripping his jacket away and discarding it on his chair.
Joy and Abram needed Payton in their lives.
Bloody hell, Damon needed her even more.
He couldn’t—wouldn’t—allow things to continue as they were.
Another governess wouldn’t do, and Payton returning to Ashford Hall as a simple servant was not what he desired.
She wouldn’t long for that either. He wanted more than Payton in his life to care for his children.
He wanted more than to forget about her and move on.
Damon had never been a man to move on easily—and for once, this would serve him well.
He only needed to discover what Payton longed for and hope it was the same as he desired.
He collected his discarded jacket, any thoughts of wallowing alone vanished.
“Don’t forget this.” Garrett held his hand out the open door of the carriage, a cream mask with ebony strings dangling from his fingers. “You might need it.”
Payton turned toward the children, eagerly waiting a few steps away before leaning back into the coach. “I am not attending the party.”
“What if someone sees you?” he demanded.
“Everyone will be in the back of the house by now with the gambling underway,” she hissed. “I will hurry the children in the front door and up the stairs to their chambers.
“Where did you find this?” As an afterthought, she’d had the mask made to match her gown, but after everything that had happened with Damon, she’d never thought to wear it.
When he didn’t respond and only jiggled the mask, Payton grabbed it.
“Tsk, tsk, dear sister.” Garrett waved his finger between them. “We both know that is not what is important here. Do don the mask, just in case.”
“Very well,” Payton said, moving away from the carriage and back to the children. “Are you ready?”
They both nodded, and the trio started for the front door.
She debated having the carriage drop them off in the alley behind Ashford Hall, but it was far more likely they’d be seen coming in through the mews than through the front door.
The gambling would have begun an hour or so before, and the foyer and main staircase would be deserted.
The only activity would be on the servants’ stairs.
Mr. Brown was likely positioned close to the front door, waiting for the children to return. Payton would certainly have a word with the man for allowing the children out after dark, unchaperoned except for the Ashford driver and footman.
However, when she opened the front door, the foyer was empty, although music and voices from the ballroom floated through the house. She urged the children in and up the stairs, turned to the right, and moved down the corridor to their rooms.
Joy’s door came first after they’d passed the schoolroom.
Payton opened the door and ushered Joy inside. “I will see Abram to his room and then return,” she whispered before pulling the door closed without a sound.
They took the few steps to Abram’s door, and he walked inside without hesitation. “Good evening, Miss Samuels. I do hope to see you again soon. Forgive Father for whatever he’s done to upset you.”
Payton made to tell the boy there was nothing to forgive, but Abram gave her a sad smile before pushing his door closed, leaving her alone in the hallway.
Her own door was only a few feet farther down the corridor.
No, the room did not belong to her any longer. A new governess would take her place before long, and any remnants of Payton would be erased and forgotten with time.
Her lip trembled. Lifting her skirts with her free hand, she hurried back to Joy’s chamber. When she entered, the girl had already undone the ties of her dress and was slipping her nightgown over her head.
“Joy,” Payton called. The only light in the room came from a single candle and the dying embers in the hearth; however, there was enough warmth to last until the child found slumber. “You mustn’t tell your father you came to see me.”
“Will you be here when we wake?” the girl asked, ignoring Payton’s warning.
She shook her head, turning to pull down the blanket for Joy to climb into bed. “No, Joy.”
There was so much more she wanted to say: that she was heartbroken to be leaving them, that she would do anything to remain at Ashford Hall, that…she was sorry. But nothing else came.
Joy climbed into bed, and Payton tucked the blanket around her tiny body, much as she had the day the girl had nearly drowned in the pond, except when Payton glanced up, she did not meet Damon’s watchful eyes across the bed this time.
“We don’t want you to go. Not even Father, even if he did something to anger you,” Joy mumbled.
Payton hesitated, knowing she needed to depart but unable to allow the girl’s mutterings to go unaddressed. “What was that, Joy?”
There was no way Joy could know anything that had transpired between her and Damon beyond their kiss—she was only a child.
Joy was too young to understand the heartbreak her father had lived through, or the future Payton wanted for herself.
It did not include living as a servant nor being beholden to a man who overstepped his boundaries.
Their discussion had made it clear that Damon hadn’t anticipated her discovering that he’d settled her debt with Catherton.
Could it be that he actually did not have any dark intentions with his action as he claimed?
“Abram and I heard Father.” Joy’s eyes grew heavy with unshed tears. “He was crying—in his sleep.”
“Eavesdropping is very impolite,” Payton said, easing herself onto the bed next to Joy. “You should not listen when you are not invited.”
“We were not lurking about Father’s door.” She pushed up onto her elbows, leaning close to Payton in the soft glow from the candle. “He woke us up—last night.”
Payton didn’t want to hear any of this. She’d made her decision, given her notice, and was prepared to tell Marce of her failings and beg her sister to take her with her to the country.
In the last few days, Payton had lost her position as governess and learned she’d soon lose the house she’d called home for all her life.
Her future, the one she’d dreamed of for herself, was slipping from her fingers as the hours passed.
A home of her own, the independence to live of her own accord, and find what would make her happy and content.
“If he was crying, it had naught to do with me—or you, for that matter,” Payton replied. “Your father has lost much in his life. He’s gone through things that most men would run from. He lost your mother and was left to raise you and Abram alone. That is a very scary thing.”
Joy clutched her hands on the top of the blanket, allowing her head to fall back against her pillows.
“But when you came…he changed. He went to the park with us, the museum, and took meals with us. Then you left—we knew you weren’t ill—and he shut himself in his study again, didn’t eat with us, and cried out in the night.
It was like when I had my terrors, you came and comforted me. Someone should do that for Father.”
Payton leapt from the bed as if it had caught fire, silently begging the girl to remain quiet…to not voice what they both knew to be true. Payton should be there to comfort their father.
“Joy, I must go.” She could tell the girl the truth—she was afraid of the baron catching her at Ashford Hall—but she settled on a reason that was still true, though a little less to the point.
“Garrett is waiting for me, and he is like a child. If left alone, he is sure to find himself in a spot of trouble.”
Without thinking, she leaned down and placed a kiss on Joy’s forehead.
“Promise me you won’t do anything as drastic and dangerous as leaving home without telling your father again.” When Joy nodded, she continued. “Your father would have been destroyed if anything had happened to you or Abram. Goodbye, Joy.”
Payton inched toward the door as Joy shifted in bed, turning away from her.
Damon would not have been the only one destroyed if the children had been harmed.
With a sigh, Payton paused to tie her mask. She’d been upstairs for quite a while, and she prayed she wouldn’t cross paths with Damon as she made her escape.