Chapter 21
The storm pummelsthe walls of our tiny fortress for two solid days. And when the winds finally subside, we spend another two days dealing with the aftermath. The snowfall totals wouldn’t be an issue if the incessant wind hadn’t formed giant snowbanks. We’re lucky the front door wasn’t covered, but a wall of snow formed on one side of the cabin all the way to the roof—the side we’d used for our wood pile and the storage locker.
We don’t have a shovel, but it turns out the bucket is an excellent alternative. Once we clear our access to the outhouse, wood pile, and the storage locker, we re-rig all our traps down by the creek. The two days of energy stored while we were stuck inside helps make up for the extra activity.
We work companionably and return to some semblance of normal, but I can’t escape the feeling that Shae seems distant. She’s been awfully quiet for days now. If it were anyone else, I’d say a little moodiness along the way was normal. We’ve had to endure a hell of a lot in the past ten days. Shae isn’t like most people, though. A wellspring of energy flows within her. She vibrates with optimism and ideas and purpose. The Shae I’ve been living with for the past few days is a deflated version of the woman I know. She’s withdrawn, and I don’t know why. Something’s weighing on her. It could be a simple case of homesickness, though she’s not exactly the type to get depressed over that sort of thing.
As I sit at the table and watch her re-organize a cabinet that doesn’t have enough crap in it to need reorganizing, something dawns on me.
“Is your period coming soon?” I feel like a dumbass for not considering it sooner. If I was a woman, having to deal with that sort of thing out here would stress me the fuck out, too. And she could easily be uncomfortable mentioning it to ask for help.
My mind is instantly brainstorming solutions when her reply lashes me like a whip.
“Excuse me?”
I raise my hands placatingly. “Now, don’t get sharp with me. I was only trying to figure out what might be bothering you.”
“And you figured I must be hormonal?” She’s almost begging for a fight.
My jaw muscles flex and strain. “No, but now I am.”
“Because if a woman is upset about something, she must be hormonal.” Her hands go to her hips, and I feel the quicksand pulling me further underground.
“Quit putting words in my mouth.” I stand and give her a menacing glare.
She shoots back one of her own. “And how else am I supposed to take that? You decide I’m acting funny so you figure my period is coming? Sounds like man math to me.”
I close the distance between us and lean so I’m towering over her. “I thought you might be worried about how to manage without any supplies here. I wanted to help you figure out a plan and not be an insensitive prick, but since you’d rather jump to conclusions than hear me out, I’ll leave you to it.” I whirl around and storm from the cabin, making sure to grab my jacket on the way out.
Time to do some fishing but not because I want my prize. Right now, I need for Shae to lose. It pisses me off that she occupies so much of my thoughts, and when I try to be considerate, she throws it back in my face.
I ought to tie her up and force her to tell me what the hell is wrong. Instead, I imagine all the things I want to do and say to her while I cast my fishing line into the creek. My pine branch rod with the line tied at the end is laughable. I don’t know why I’m still trying. I’ve spent a number of hours casting without the slightest nibble.
Thickheaded determination won’t allow me to quit.
Plus, what the fuck else do I have to do?
I can’t even find peace when I sleep because she’s there, her supple body pressed against mine. It’s getting harder and harder to keep my hands from roaming. Maybe we both just need to get laid.
No, she’s pulling away from me. I can feel it, but I don’t understand why.
I know her body responds to me. If that’s the case, what’s the hangup? Surely not her girlfriend. She hasn’t said a word about the woman since we arrived.
I know I can’t always have my way, but being denied what I want for no good reason feels pointlessly infuriating. Maybe tonight, I return the favor. Let her know how it feels to be cast off without explanation.