Epilogue
Renzo
“The problem is they’re disorganized,”I explain to Gino. “The Albanians are at war among themselves, and the people associated with Mari’s family are fringe at best. Identifying them hasn’t been easy, so I’ve hired help.”
“A PI or a contract?”
“Neither. There’s a new agency in town that handles private security and investigative matters. Name’s Viper Industries. I heard about them through the Genoveses. Guy who runs it is ex-cartel.”
“I didn’t think anyone was ex-cartel and still breathing.”
“Me either, but from what I hear, this guy’s the real deal. I met with him last week, so we’ll see. I’m not letting this go until I at least get the four who took us.”
Gino nods sagely. “I think you’re right to push the issue. We don’t need the problem spreading.”
“Exactly.” I start to stand from my desk chair when Gino raises a hand in a silent request to give him a moment.
“I think all of that sounds good, Renzo, but I’m concerned about your plan to send Sante off to Italy. He’s already been through so much. We may be trying to help, but to him, it might look like yet another family member abandoning him.”
I sink back into my chair, the weight of my worries making the mechanism groan. “I get it, Gino, I do. But I can’t let him continue down the path he’s headed. Between the booze and reckless behavior, it’s like the kid’s got a death wish.”
He releases a weary breath. “I suppose you’re right. He’s my nephew, same as you, and I don’t want to hurt him. Hopefully, time with the Donati cousins will give him a new perspective.”
My lips thin, knowing where this is headed. “He’s not staying with the Donatis. When I called to make the arrangements, Dad’s cousin Francesco told me he’d recently been diagnosed with a brain tumor and is undergoing surgery soon. He can’t take on a project like Sante right now. And I’m not familiar enough with any other individuals on that side of the family to ask for this sort of favor.”
“So where’s he going?” My uncle’s tone is grim. He already knows the answer to his question.
“Lazaro Malgeri.” My mother’s cousin … in Sicily.
“Jesus, Renzo. The Sicilians are ruthless. They’re a whole other breed.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” I bark back at him. “What other fucking option do I have? The kid is going to get himself killed here. And there’s no point in arguing about it. I put him on a plane this morning. He either learns to swim or he drowns.”
Gino glowers, but before he can say anything, Tommaso whirls into the room. His normally impassive eyes are spitting fire, his lip curved in a snarl.
“I begged you not to send him away. You told me this would be best for him, but I heard you just now. Drowning? That doesn’t sound like what’s best. You lied.”
“It’s not a lie.” I’m back on my feet. “This is what’s best for him. You want him to be tortured to death by the Russians? Because that’s what would have happened if I hadn’t stepped in. This is the only way I know to try to save him.”
“And what about me?” He spreads his arms wide. “Having Sante here was the first time I felt like I had a friend. Someone who accepted me for who I am, and you stole that from me.”
I can’t win no matter what I do.
“Fuck, Tommy,” I say on an exasperated breath. “I don’t know what to tell you except that if you feel so hell-bent on staying together, go with him.”
“You want me to go?” he asks in a hollow voice.
“No, I want you not to be pissed at me. Look, we can discuss this later, okay? We can figure out times you can visit or something, but for right now, I have somewhere to be.” I have another thirty minutes before I technically need to leave, but I have to get away from this conversation.
I love running this family in so many ways. It’s challenging and different every single day—I’m never bored. But dealing with bickering and personal problems, I could do without. I’m running a business, not a daycare. I know that’s all part of the leadership gig, and it’s not a problem most of the time, but it’s more than I want to deal with today. Fortunately, I’m headed to see the one person I can count on to brighten my day rather than darken it.
Shae
“Remindme what we’re doing here?” Renzo peers up at the brownstone home where I told him to meet me while I punch in the code on the lock box to get access.
“I was talking with my real estate agent while we were doing paperwork for the contract on my apartment. I told her how we’d spent some time in Canada and how we’d both enjoyed certain aspects of a … cozier mountain-style home. She got excited and showed me pictures of this new listing she had, and I got a great vibe from it, so I asked if I could bring you over. She’d normally come with, but I really wanted to look at it with you alone.” I gnaw on my bottom lip, my eyes doing a quick sweep of the entry. “I know we hadn’t even talked about buying a place, but it spoke to me. It just felt like … us.”
“I like what I see. Let’s look at the rest.”
We do a sweep of the main level, pausing in the front living room. I watch Renzo almost as much as I take in the space. The historic brownstone is a single-family home on a quiet street with mature trees lining the sidewalk. The previous owners did a phenomenal job honoring the home’s history while modernizing with wide-plank wood floors and contemporary design elements incorporating a wealth of natural materials.
“I love the look and feel, but this is my absolute favorite part.” I lean my arm on the reclaimed wood beam that serves as a fireplace mantel. “Ten wood-burning fireplaces. All of them functional. How cool is that?” I ask excitedly, curious if Renzo will feel the same draw to the place as I do.
He slowly strolls over, his eyes locked on the iron grate staged with fresh wood. “It’s incredibly cool,” he finally says, amusement creasing the corners of his eyes.
“I know it’s not a fancy high-rise—”
Renzo cups my face in his hands, smiling warmly. “Shae, it’s perfect.”
“Really?” Giddy anticipation raises my voice an octave. “We can go upstairs and see the rest. There’s two more floors and even a fully finished basement with a gym.”
“I’d like to look around, but I think I’m already sold. You’re right. It does feel like us. Like home.”
I’m so excited that I launch myself at him, hugging him with my arms wrapped tightly around his neck. “I’m so glad you feel it too because I sort of already made an offer.” I pull back and give him a crooked smile. “I’d say I’m sorry, but that would be a lie.”
Rolls of laughter rock his body. “Why am I not surprised?”
“Well, if that doesn’t surprise you, I have one more thing for you that might.” Nerves swell in my stomach and send a rush of tingles to my palms. I take a small step back and breathe in through my nose, out through my mouth. “Renzo Donati, in a short span of time, you have become the center of my world. You challenge and support me in ways that bring out the best in me, and I want nothing more than to do the same for you. You’re my person. I love you with my whole heart and want to spend every day of forever tackling life together.”
I pull a black titanium ring out of my pocket and drop to one knee. Renzo is so still, I’m not sure he’s even breathing, and a flood of emotions passes behind his eyes. I try not to overanalyze his reaction because I’m trying to do this right, and if I worry about what he’s going to say, I’ll fuck it all up.
“You know I don’t do anything by half measure. If we’re a team, you’re my ride or die for life, and I want the world to know. So … Renzo Agosto Donati, will you do me the honor of agreeing to be my husband?” Each word is more strained than the one before as emotion threatens to overcome me.
Renzo coaxes me to my feet, then gently plucks the ring from my hand, studying it like he’s never seen a ring before. It makes me nervous.
“It’s more of a wedding band than an engagement ring,” I blurt. “But there doesn’t seem to be such a thing as an engagement ring for a man, so that limited my options. If you’re not crazy about it, we can exchange it. You don’t even have to say yes, obviously. I know we haven’t talked about it at all yet.” I’m babbling. I know it, but I can’t stop myself. I need him to say something and put me out of my misery.
He holds the ring between his thumb and finger, his smoldering stare finding mine. “This is the most touching, humbling gesture anyone has ever done for me. And coming from you, I’m speechless.” He slides the ring on his finger, then cups my face like he does when he’s at his most earnest. “I would be the proudest man on earth to be your husband. As you know, I’ve been calling you my wife since the first week we met.”
“Awfully presumptive of you, but considering the circumstances, I’ll let it slide.” I beam at him, smiling like a golden retriever with a new tennis ball.
His eyes go soft with adoration before he kisses one eyelid, then the other. “I love you, Shae. I live and breathe for you and can think of nothing better than to spend my life being Mr. Shae Byrne.”
We come together in a kiss. My heart feels full enough to burst in a confetti explosion of sunshine and rainbows. I wouldn’t even be sorry if it did because this love I feel for Ren is worth whatever price.
When we draw apart, I’m reminded of a gentle wave slowly receding from a sandy beach. Our connection is as unrelenting as the sea and its shore. Sometimes the waves may be turbulent, and others placid, but we will always find ourselves coming back together, one way or another.
“Neither of us are quick to put stock in fate, but today feels like an exception.” Renzo reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small black velvet drawstring bag. “It just so happens that I picked up something for you on my way over here.” He dangles the bag for me to take.
I’m so incredibly curious, and when I hold the item and feel what’s inside, I’m even more curious because it’s easy to identify. It seems like such an odd choice of gift. I open the pull strings and slide the small pocketknife onto my palm, recognition slamming into me. “It’s the knife from the plane,” I breathe in awe. The same white pocketknife I used to help us escape from the Albanians.
“Turn it over.”
I do and see that a single word has been engraved into the metal handle.
Chaos.
“I found it in the wreckage and had to keep it. I like to think it’s a fitting representation of my faith in you and a reminder of all we’ve been through together.”
I had the same knife secretly stashed in my pocket the first time I asked him to trust me. And he did.
I’m stunned. I knew he’d found the plane crash because he came back with the names and information on the dead men inside, which we’ve been using to track down the others. I’d completely forgotten about the knife.
“Ren, this is so incredibly thoughtful.” I love it so much. I’m not sure if I want to keep it with me and use it or frame it so I never lose it. “Thank you,” I force past the emotion tightening my throat.
“Anytime, beautiful. Now, are we going to have a look upstairs or go straight to the jewelry store?”
“Jewelry store?” I ask, confused.
“The world needs to know you’re mine, which means you need a ring.”
I shake my head and laugh. “Impatient much?”
“Only when it comes to making you mine.” The heat in his eyes darkens them to a dusky shade of midnight.
Warmth coils in my belly, then unfurls outward to my fingers and toes. “Maybe we take a quick trip upstairs before we go. You know … to have a look around … while we have the place to ourselves.”
“We’d be negligent not to.” He takes a step, forcing me back toward the stairs.
“I’m glad we agree,” I respond distractedly, mesmerized by the grace of his movements.
“Shae?” he prompts in a velvety caress.
“Yes?”
“Move your ass before I take you here on the steps.”
“Oh!” I gasp when my heels bump against the first stair.
Renzo is quick to steady me. I peer up at him to say thanks and am rendered speechless by the savage lust I see in his eyes. So predatorial. So primal.
He leans in close to my ear and whispers one single word. “Run.”
He doesn’t have to tell me twice.
I whip around and bolt up the stairs, squealing in delight. I hear him close on my heels and know I’m the luckiest woman in the world.
Thank you so much for reading Craving Chaos!