Chapter 3
Frankie
T hings were pretty foggy as I stumbled back from the bathroom. The next day was going to be a tough one. I’d had too much to drink. The dumbest part of it all is that I’d known when I hit the point where I should’ve stopped, and I’d just kept going.
It was my birthday party, and I’d been determined to wring every bit of fun out of it which meant trying to forget that Scott was acting like an asshole and Gray was watching me all night from across the room. I wasn’t sure why either of them showed up.
Parties weren’t Scott’s scene. He preferred more controlled environments where he knew everyone and felt comfortable—which was totally fine. If that’s your thing, cool, do it. I’d warned him that he wouldn’t have a good time. I’d given him an out and told him that I wouldn’t have any kind of feelings about him not showing up, but did he listen? No. And then he’d had the audacity to bitch at me for leaving him when I tried to hang out with the people who were there to celebrate.
Gray—well, there was no reason for him to come. We were barely friends, and the Harper excuse he’d been handing out was bullshit. Harper was older than me, she could’ve easily driven herself or caught a ride with literally anyone else at the party.
Climbing back into the bed, I let Scott pull me close even though I was still vaguely irritated with him. It wasn’t going to work with him. I’d known it for weeks, but I’d been too nervous to say anything because he was still at my office every day, and I didn’t want things to get weird.
They were going to get weird.
He was so nice, and he hadn’t done anything that I could put my finger on, but something just wasn’t right. We weren’t right together. He wanted to be with me constantly. He showed up without calling, assuming I’d be happy to see him. He asked to carpool to work almost every day even though he knew I wasn’t comfortable making that kind of statement at the office and turned him down over and over. It just sucked because he hadn’t done anything specific that I could point to when I broke up with him. He was fine. It was fine. I just didn’t want fine. I was getting sick of fine. I actually wasn’t even sure how we’d ended up seeing each other for so long.
I fell asleep quickly, but I hadn’t been asleep very long when I woke halfway up to Scott kissing my neck. It felt good, and I leaned further into him, just groggy enough to forget that I was going to break up with him in the morning.
The sex was okay. Alcohol covered everything in enough of a haze it made even the most basic moves a bit dreamy and romantic. Moments after we were done, I fell back asleep.
“You awake, old lady?” Lou called through the door hours later. “Get up, we’re making breakfast!”
“You’re cruel,” I called back, pushing my face against the pillow.
“You’re going to feel like shit if you don’t eat. Get up! Bas is starting the bacon.”
“Jesus,” Scott grumbled behind me. “How is anyone that happy this early?”
Leaning up on an elbow, I reached for my phone. The moment I wrapped my hand around it, my bare arm rubbed against something scratchy, and I looked down in confusion. Beneath my arm was a condom wrapper. I’d opened my mouth to joke about how Scott hadn’t cleaned up his mess when reality slapped me in the face.
It wasn’t open. It hadn’t been used.
Panic gripped me by the throat as I slid my thighs together beneath the blankets. Sticky. Oh, god.
“What the fuck?” I blew, scrambling off the bed. “What the fuck?”
“What?” Scott barked, sitting straight up in bed. “What is it?”
“You—you—” I couldn’t even get the words out. I was standing naked in the center of my bedroom, and I didn’t know what to do or where to look.
“Jesus, what ?”
“You didn’t wear a fucking condom,” I spat, throwing it at him.
I expected him to be shocked. Surprised. Embarrassed. Ashamed. Anything . Instead, he just shrugged.
“We’re together, right?” he asked. “It’s not like I’m sleeping with anyone else.”
My mouth dropped open in disbelief. He wasn’t even looking at me. Wouldn’t meet my eyes.
With a sinking feeling, I stared at him, trying to remember if I knew for sure that he’d been wearing them. He always pulled one out. He kept one in his wallet, and I had some in my bedside table. He always reached for one, always ripped it open and put it on, but I couldn’t remember if I’d paid attention to whether or not he was still wearing one when he was inside me.
My stomach roiled with nausea.
“Have you done this before?” I asked, my voice raw.
Scott scoffed like I was being crazy, and I knew .
“Get out,” I hissed, staring at him in horror.
“You’re—”
“Get the fuck out.”
“Frankie—”
“GET OUT!” I screamed, my voice breaking.
“I don’t know why you’re so worked up,” Scott said placatingly, pushing the blankets off his thighs. The sight of his naked body made me sick .
“Frank?” Bas called from outside the door.
“Get out of my house,” I growled at Scott. “Get your shit and get away from me.”
“Seriously?” Scott asked, standing. “Let’s just—”
“Get out,” I screeched. Why was he still talking? Why wasn’t he getting dressed?
My door slammed open so fast that it slammed into the wall.
“You need help?” Bas asked darkly, glaring at Scott.
“This is between me and Frankie,” Scott snapped, pulling on his boxers.
“You okay, doll?” Bas looked at my face, deliberately looking nowhere else, and I started crying when I realized I was still standing there naked.
“I want him out,” I choked out, grabbing a hoodie off the floor to clutch to my chest.
“You heard her,” Bas said as Scott started to protest. “Get out, or I’ll put you out.”
He must have read the violence in Bas’s voice because Scott didn’t even bother putting on his shirt or coat before he bailed.
“Lou,” Bas called, standing in my doorway as there was some kind of commotion in the living room. “Can you come back here?”
“I’m all right,” I said quickly as I started backing toward the bathroom. “I’m fine.”
“What happened?” Lou asked frantically as she pushed past Bas. “Frank?”
I glanced at Bas who was staring at the wall.
“I got it,” Lou said, squeezing his shoulder. “Can you finish breakfast? We’ll be out in a few minutes.”
Bas didn’t answer, the muscle in his jaw flexing.
“I’ve got her,” Lou said quietly. “We’ll be out in a minute. Promise.”
“You good, Frank?” Bas rumbled, still respectfully keeping his eyes averted.
“I’m not hurt,” I assured him, my voice rasping painfully in my throat.
“All right.” He turned on his heel and left.
The moment he was gone, Lou swung the door closed, and it bounced back open. Bas had mangled the latch when he’d burst through the door.
“He’ll fix it,” she muttered, turning to me. “What happened?”
“He—he—he—” I couldn’t even get the words out. I felt like such a fucking idiot. Why hadn’t I been paying attention? I knew better. It was so ridiculous.
“What?” Lou said gently, moving closer. “Slow down and tell me.”
“He hasn’t been wearing a condom,” I blurted, my voice trembling.
Lou’s eyes widened. “You didn’t know?”
“Of course I didn’t know,” I snapped, gaping. “He was getting one, ripping it open, putting it on and then—”
“He took them off?” she asked in disbelief. “How do you know?”
I turned and hurried to the bathroom. I needed a shower. I needed bleach .
“Frank?” Lou called from the doorway.
“He didn’t bother to pretend last night,” I spat angrily, tears still rolling down my face. “I found the unused condom in the bed this morning.”
“That motherfucker,” she breathed.
“When I asked if he hadn’t been using them, he asked why it was such a big deal.” I turned the shower on as hot as it would go. “He didn’t deny it. He acted like I was overreacting because I was angry about it.”
“Oh my god,” Lou gaped. “What an asshole.”
I climbed into the shower, wincing at the burn. After a few deep breaths, I could stand the heat, and I leaned into the water. A pale, delicate hand snaked into the shower and turned the heat down. I let out a hiccup of a laugh.
“I’m going to finish breakfast, but I’ll be right back,” Lou announced. “Get cleaned up, and I’ll braid your hair when you’re out.”
I cleared my throat. Then I cleared it again, pressing the heels of my hands against my eyes. “Okay,” I called as soon as I knew my voice wouldn’t break.
“It’ll be okay, Frank,” she called gently. “We’ll get you an appointment right away. It’ll be okay.”
I nodded even though she couldn’t see me.
How in the hell had I let it happen? I was so stupid. I’d paid attention to make sure that he was putting one on, but I knew how condoms felt. How hadn’t I noticed that he was taking them off? How long had he been pulling that shit? It was terrifying to think about.
I was always careful. Always. Why had I let my guard down?
I thumped my head against the wall, letting the rhythm soothe me.
Eventually Lou came back in to ask why I was still in the shower, and I hurriedly washed the events away. I opened my mouth to say something but closed it again.
I wondered if she’d be so sure that everything would be fine if I told her that I’d changed birth control three weeks ago. The old one was giving me horrendous periods, so the doctor had prescribed something different. She’d reminded me more than once that I needed to use another form of contraception until the new stuff was fully effective.
I hadn’t said anything to Scott. Why would I? It was my own private medical decision, and as far as I knew, we were using another form of contraceptive.
After drying off, I pulled on the oversized hoodie that Tommy had let me borrow and I’d never given back, and a pair of sweats. Thick socks on my feet. My stomach flipped as I glanced at the bed. Jesus, how much semen was on those sheets? I stripped the bedding off angrily and dropped them on the floor.
How hadn’t I known? He couldn’t have been doing it every time, or I would’ve noticed. There was no way that I would’ve missed it fully sober. Unfortunately, there had been plenty of nights that he’d shown up when we were having drinks.
“Breakfast,” Bas announced quietly, stepping into the doorway.
“I’m coming,” I replied hoarsely, looking up at him.
“I’ll fix the door,” he said, glancing at it. “You’d locked it.”
“I’m not worried about the door,” I assured him as he threw an arm around my shoulders and led me down the hallway.
“I know places he’ll never be found,” Bas murmured.
I let out a scoff and laid my head on his shoulder. “No need for that.”
“You sure?”
“I’ll let you know if I change my mind,” I joked as we reached the kitchen.
Lou was flitting around getting everything plated, and Brody was washing his hands at the sink.
“Hey, I didn’t know you stayed,” I said to Brody. I pulled away from Bas. “This looks good, Lou.”
“I was hungry,” she replied, handing me a plate. “Hash browns, eggs, bacon, and toast. You want coffee?”
“I can get it.”
“Go sit.” She waved me toward the living room. “We need a kitchen table.”
“But then the house wouldn’t flow as well during parties,” I mumbled, stuffing a huge bite of toast in my mouth.
“God forbid,” Brody joked dramatically, following me into the living room. “You good?”
“I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“Well, you look better than Scott.” He shrugged his shoulders. “He had a shiner when he left.”
“What did you do?” I asked, dread pooling in my belly.
“I just told you,” he replied slowly. “Gave him a shiner.”
“You punched him?”
“He went down like a sack of potatoes,” Brody confirmed with a mouth full of food. “Pussy.”
“What have we said about using female body parts as insults?” I asked in exasperation.
Brody smiled and shrugged.
I shook my head in exasperation. “Thanks.”
“You wanna tell me what he did?” Brody asked quietly.
I thought about it for a moment, shame making the skin on my chest flare with heat. “No.”
“Okay,” he replied simply.
The boys only stayed for another hour, and after they left, Lou and I curled up on opposite ends of the couch to read. When I’d gone back to grab my book, she’d already taken away my bedding, and I could hear the washing machine toiling away across the hall. We stayed there on the couch for the rest of the day, even though we should’ve been cleaning up from the party. My anxiety was so acute that I couldn’t make myself be productive, and Lou refused to leave my side.
I called in sick Monday and Tuesday. By Wednesday, I’d drummed up the courage and made an appointment with the clinic that I’d been going to since high school. They didn’t have any openings for over a week.
Going back to work filled me with so much dread that my heart pounded, and my hands grew clammy the moment I climbed into the car. I didn’t see Scott the first day, he was checking out a job we were working on the other side of town, but I knew that I’d have to face him at some point since he’d been blowing up my phone.
Everything made me jumpy. Every sound, every time the phone on my desk rang, every time someone stopped by my office. I was a nervous wreck.
By the time he finally stepped into my office, it felt pretty anticlimactic.
“Hey, you have a minute?” he asked quietly.
I stared at the man I’d been dating and felt nothing. No sadness, no affection, barely any recognition.
“What’s up, Scott?” I asked, clenching my fist around the pen I’d been using.
He reached for the door like he was going to close it behind him, and I jerked to my feet.
“Leave it open,” I ordered.
“Frankie,” he chastised, his hand still on the doorknob. He looked at me like I was a toddler throwing a fit. “Really?”
“Please leave the door open,” I repeated, a little louder.
“You’ve been dodging my calls.”
“I’ve been busy,” I ground out.
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
“You think?” I asked sarcastically.
“Come on, are you seriously still pissed?” he asked condescendingly. “You’re overreacting.”
“This conversation is over,” I ground out through my teeth. I wanted to hop over my desk and scratch his face off.
“It’s not like you can avoid me forever,” he replied. “We work together.”
“You work in a completely different office.”
“Not anymore.”
“What?” I choked out.
“I was planning on telling you.” He leaned against the doorway. “I talked to my uncle and transferred over here. I thought you’d be happy.”
“I don’t care where you work,” I lied. I really wished he hadn’t transferred.
“I can’t believe you’re still mad.”
“I can’t believe you still think that we have anything to talk about,” I shot back. “Please leave my office.”
“So, that’s it then?”
“That’s it,” I confirmed. “Stop calling me.”
Scott smirked. “I’ll give you some space.”
“It’s over,” I clarified, even though I couldn’t believe that he hadn’t gotten the point already. “Please keep things professional at work.”
“Not sure if I can,” he said, that stupid smirk still on his face. He lifted his hands, palms up. “I’m pretty crazy about you.”
My heart was beating like a jackhammer by the time he finally left my office, and I shakily sat back down in my chair. I wasn’t afraid of Scott. He wasn’t physically intimidating by any means, and he’d never hinted at even a sliver of violence, but something in our conversation made me really uncomfortable. The way he’d spoken, like I was a hysterical child, made me nervous. He didn’t seem to be taking no for an answer, and I didn’t know how I could’ve made things clearer.
It took nearly an hour for me to calm down enough to focus.
Thursday and Friday followed the same pattern. Scott showed up at my office door, acting like everything was fine. He never left when I asked him to, instead talking about how much he missed me and how gorgeous I was and asking when I’d be free for dinner. I shut him down each time, and he eventually walked away, but the interactions left me feeling uneasy.
The weekend passed at a snail’s pace while I holed up in my bed, sleeping and reading. Bas came and fixed the latch on my door, but otherwise the only person I saw was Lou. I didn’t even want to go outside. I was both jumpy and filled with exhaustion, and by the time Monday hit, I was dreading work so badly that I wanted to cry.
Scott was standing outside the office when I got there with a bouquet of roses, and my mouth filled with saliva. I was terrified that I was going to vomit as I pulled the Tahoe into a parking space. Thankfully, another woman I worked with pulled in next to me, and by the time we reached the front doors, Scott was gone. The flowers were sitting on my desk.
For the rest of the week, I made sure to show up to work exactly on time, when the parking lot was full of cars and there were people all over. Scott stopped by my office every day, but I’d managed to be on the phone or speaking to a coworker every time and hadn’t had to speak with him. He was everywhere. If I walked out to reception to check for messages, he was standing at the desk. When I ran to the supply room to make copies, he was loitering in the hall. I stopped using the restroom because I was so nervous that he’d follow me inside. Thursday a bouquet of tulips was on my desk when I arrived. I threw them in the trash.
It was a relief to wake up on Friday knowing that I didn’t have to go to work, but the anxiety of the doctor’s appointment loomed. I was antsy and nauseous as I got ready. Lou had already left for the day, so the house was silent as I went out to make a cup of coffee. Tommy and Heather bought us a little espresso machine when we’d moved in, and I focused on methodically making myself an iced mocha instead of the worry that made my chest feel tight.
I watched the street carefully as I locked up the house and carried my coffee and purse to the Tahoe. I was sure Scott was at work, but he had to have noticed by then that I wasn’t coming in. I wouldn’t put it past him to show up, asking why I’d taken the day off.
It was getting ridiculous, but I wasn’t sure what to do about it. If I went to human resources, then everyone would know. Would I have to tell them why I’d stopped seeing him? His uncle owned the freaking company. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t lose my job, but I wasn’t delusional enough to think that working there would ever be the same. I’d be the woman who started a relationship with one of the bosses and then cried foul when it didn’t go the way I’d hoped.
I’d screwed myself. I’d known it wasn’t a good idea, and I’d done it anyway, and now I was fucked.
I drove numbly to the clinic, barely noticing my surroundings. Parking was in the back, and I turned into the lot and drove down the side of the building without really paying attention. First things first—I had to get the appointment over with. After that, I could figure out what the hell I was going to do about work.
I locked up the Tahoe and walked back toward the front of the building, still so caught up in my head that I didn’t notice the noise or the movement until it was too late. By the time I finally lifted my head up to figure out what the hell was going on, I was right in the middle of it.