Chapter 16
Augusto
Even though Yuki is still tense around me, I’m taking the beautiful smile as one hell of a win.
I’ve been busy with work and training Riccardo. Right now, he’s working at Vitale Health as the acting CEO. The company mainly supplies medical equipment.
I’m dealing with the money laundering and counterfeit notes side of the business, as well as transporting weapons for the Cosa Nostra.
Mom’s been keeping me up to date with everything concerning Yuki, and now that she’s better, I feel it’s time for her to meet the guards.
I have six stationed around the house at all times, but I’ve told them to stay out of Yuki’s way so they don’t frighten her.
Once we’re done with the meal, I tell her, “Thank you for having dinner with me. I enjoyed it.”
As she clears the plates, she mentions, “Your mom gave me a list of dishes you like. I’ll show them to you, and if you want to add anything, just let me know.” She sounds nervous as she flutters around the kitchen. “Also, tell me what you don’t like to eat.”
“I’ll eat anything but fish and broccoli.”
She nods, and when she’s done loading the dishwasher, she asks, “Can I get you anything to drink?”
Getting up from the stool, I shake my head. “No thanks. I’m going to have a whiskey.”
“Okay.” She begins to look awkward as she stands in the middle of the kitchen.
“Let’s move to the living room. I think it’s time we talk.”
Worry tightens her features even more, and as we leave the kitchen, I can feel the tension coming off Yuki.
“Relax, Yuki,” I say, keeping my voice soft. “You’re not in trouble.”
I gesture at a couch while I go to the side table to pour myself a drink.
Taking a sip, I sit down on the other couch opposite her.
Earlier, when I got home, I was surprised to find her in the kitchen. I got to watch her for a few minutes before she noticed me.
Now that Yuki’s picking up weight, she looks much better. Her skin has a healthy glow, and her eyes aren’t drowning in fear anymore.
And her smile. Jesus, it almost knocked me on my ass.
Clearing my throat, I say, “There are six guards stationed around the property.”
Surprise flickers over her face. “I haven’t seen them.”
“I told them to stay out of your way. I wanted to give you space so you could adjust to your new surroundings.” Tilting my head, I admit, “I don’t want our home to feel like a prison to you.”
She glances at the sliding doors, and it looks like she wants to say something before deciding against it.
“What did you want to say?”
Her gaze swings back to me. “Can I go outside?”
“Of course. Like I said, I want you to feel at home here. As long as you let me know whenever you go out, you can come and go as you please.” I take a sip of whiskey, then add, “For your protection, guards will always accompany you.”
Digging my phone out of my pocket, I send Lorenzo a text, telling him to assign a team of guards to Yuki.
“Do you plan to go anywhere tomorrow?” I ask as I watch the message go through.
“No.”
I push the device back into my pocket and gesture at the sliding doors. “Let me introduce you to the guards.”
I finish the last of my drink, and setting the tumbler down on the small table beside the couch, I climb to my feet.
Yuki gets up as well, and when we walk the short distance to the sliding doors, she doesn’t look as jumpy around me.
I notice a fan perched on the shelf near the doorway to the foyer, and ask, “Did you unpack all the boxes?”
Yuki nods, and when her gaze meets mine, I can see she means the words when she says, “Thank you for everything. Especially the paintings.”
“If you want anything else, just order it and pay with the credit card I gave you.” I keep forgetting to order a card for Yuki, and digging my phone out of my pocket again, I make a note on my calendar. “I’ll get you your own card soon.”
“Thank you.”
When I pull the sliding doors open, there’s a curious light in Yuki’s eyes.
Stepping out onto the veranda, I place my hand on her back, and when she doesn’t jerk away from me, I take it as another win.
“I had a landscape architect redo the garden for you so it will have a Zen feel. I hope he got it right. If you want to change anything, just say so.”
“You did this for me?” she gasps as we follow a cobbled stone path through green shrubs.
When we reach a grassy area between trees that’s been cut in bonsai shapes and a koi pond, Yuki covers her mouth with her hand as surprise ripples over her face.
“It’s the least I could do.” Taking the opportunity, I once again say, “I want to make up in some way for hurting you. I never would’ve laid a finger on you if I’d known you were a woman.”
Her eyes lift to my face, and when I see the emotions flashing through them, I rub my palm up and down her back.
“I didn’t marry you just to keep the peace between the Yakuza and the Cosa Nostra.” I move my hand and tuck some of her hair behind her ear, relieved when she doesn’t flinch. “I married you to give you a safe space where you won’t be abused and degraded. It’s my way of repenting.”
Yuki’s eyes begin to shimmer, and even though she’s still apprehensive, I can see she’s starting to believe me.
Resting my palm against her cheek, I tilt my head as I look deep into her expressive brown irises. “I will never hit you again. I swear on my life and everything I hold dear, you are safe with me.”
A tear trickles over her cheek, and I wipe it away with my thumb before I pull her into a hug. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, I whisper, “I want you to be happy, Yuki. It’s the only thing that will ease the relentless remorse I feel.”
A soft sob sputters from her, and it has me tightening my hold on her while kissing her forehead. “No one will ever abuse you again. I’ll protect you the same way I protect my family.”
Yuki places her hands on my sides, and for a moment, I think she’s going to push me away, but then another sob bursts from her, and she presses a little closer to me.
As she cries against my chest, I get the feeling it’s not only because of everything I’ve put her through, but for the hellish life she’s lived up until now.
Rocco, one of the guards, comes around the corner of the house, and the instant he spots us, he makes a U-turn and leaves.
When Yuki manages to calm down, she pulls back and wipes her tears away with her fingertips. She sucks in a shaky breath before looking at me.
Her expression turns pleading as she asks, “Do you really mean everything you say?”
“I do.” The urge to keep comforting her is overwhelming, and I can’t stop myself from placing my hand on the side of her neck. Trying to lighten the mood a little, I joke, “Besides, my mother will lose her shit if I hurt a hair on your head. She already loves you.”
Yuki’s chin quivers, and she swallows hard before she admits, “I really want to believe you.”
“It will take time.” I brush my thumb along her jaw, reveling in how soft her skin feels. “As we get to know each other better, you’ll learn to trust me.”
When I pull my hand back, Yuki lifts her fingers to touch the side of her neck while she glances at the pond. A breath quivers over her lips, and it’s only then the thought slaps me upside the head.
This woman has been pretending to be a man since she was eleven.
“You never got to be a woman,” I say, sadness for her creeping into my voice.
She shakes her head. “I’m still trying to get used to my face.”
Jesus. Yuki must be going through one hell of an identity crisis on top of everything.
“What do you want, Yuki?” I ask the question she’s probably never been asked in her life. “What gender do you prefer?”
If this woman wants to become a man, I’ll support her in every way I can.
Her teeth tug at her bottom lip, then she replies, “I want to be a woman.” Her eyes touch on mine before she looks at the pond again.
“When I saw Gianna in the club, I was jealous because she got to look so pretty, and then Riccardo looked at her with so much love, and I wondered what it would feel like.” Her voice grows softer as she admits, “I want that.”
Yuki becomes uncomfortable and shy because of what she just confessed and walks closer to the water to look at the koi.
At least I know in which direction to move.
I pull my phone out again and search how to help a woman feel feminine, hoping there’s something I can do to make things easier for her.
Show appreciation. Be chivalrous. Compliment her femininity. Romance, affection, and being gentle.
I can do all of that. With a mother and two sisters, it’s practically second nature to me.
Let’s start with chivalrous, gentle, and appreciation.
My eyes land on the flowers that were planted along the path. Picking one with white petals, I go to Yuki, and standing behind her, I hold the flower in front of her face.
“Thank you for opening up and talking to me.”
With her eyes locked on the flower, she turns slightly, then her surprised gaze flits to me.
On the spur of the moment, I gently tuck the flower in her hair above her ear, then smile at my handiwork. “Beautiful.” I stare at her expressive features, then slowly, I lean down and press a soft kiss to her forehead.
Taking a step back, I hold my hand out to Yuki. “Let me introduce you to the guards, then we can get to know each other more.”
She hesitates for a few seconds before she lays her palm in mine, and remorse curls tighter around my heart when I notice how my fingers engulf hers.
When we had her in the hanger, I should’ve noticed she has feminine hands.
Letting the shame roll through me, I lead Yuki to the side of the house, and when I see Rocco, I say, “Radio the other guards to join us.”
“Yes, boss.”
While he carries out the order, I glance down at the woman I married so I could give her a peaceful life where she can be happy.
She looks much healthier, and she’s not wound so fucking tense anymore.
Noticing the changes in her is like a soothing balm to my heart and wounded self-respect.
This marriage is good for Yuki and me.
After the other guards join us, I quickly introduce Yuki. I see the surprise on her face when they treat her with respect, and as they all return to their posts and only Rocco remains, I say, “Rocco will do random checks inside the house from tomorrow, so don’t get a fright if you run into him.”
Yuki nods, and I give Rocco a thankful smile before I lead her back down the path so she can see the rest of the garden.
As we pass the pond, she asks, “Who feeds the koi?”
“Rocco.”
“Do you think he’ll mind if I do it?”
“Not at all. I’ll tell him to show you where he keeps the food.”
“Thank you,” she replies, her tone soft but respectful.
We walk over a bridge, and instead of looking around us, I keep stealing glimpses of Yuki’s face. Her expressions change constantly, and every few seconds, apprehension still makes an appearance.
At least she’s not cowering in fear anymore.
After the stroll through the garden, we head back to the house, and as we approach the sliding doors, Yuki suddenly stops dead in her tracks, her eyes locked on our reflections showing in the glass.
Her lips part as if she’s in shock, and slowly she lifts her fingers to touch the flower I placed by her ear.
She said she’s still getting used to what she looks like, so I wait patiently for her to process whatever she’s feeling.
A new worry slithers into my heart, and I ask, “Did they do plastic surgery on you?”
She shakes her head and continues to walk into the living room. “No, the doctor just dissolved the fillers I used to get.”
A dark frown forms on my forehead as I sit down on one of the couches. “How often did you get them?”
Yuki takes a seat across from me. “Every three months.” She swallows hard and looks at the black TV screen. “I had to get dental work done, though.” Clearly uncomfortable, she keeps staring at the TV. “To replace the teeth I lost…during the…uhm…after what happened in the hangar.”
Fuck.
A heavy silence descends on the room, and as I stare at Yuki, I’m struck with another tidal wave of intense guilt.
My voice is hoarse when I murmur, “I’m sorry.”
Yuki lowers her eyes to where her hands are lying in her lap. “You didn’t know I was a woman. I kept quiet because I was scared you would kill me if you realized I’m not Ryo.” She twists her fingers together. “And I was worried you’d do worse to me.”
“None of what happened in the hangar is your fault,” I say, just in case she needs to hear it. “It’s all on me.” I rest my forearms on my thighs before I ask, “What happened after Kano took you from the hospital?”
“I started my training while they waited for my face to heal.”
“What training?”
“How to be the perfect wife.”
Needing to know more, I push a little harder. “What did that entail. Tell me everything they taught you.”
Because I’m sure half of it is probably fucked up shit that’s going to piss me off.
Yuki’s back is ramrod straight, and she keeps her gaze locked on her hands as she says, “I got cooking lessons from a chef. Yutaro showed me how to do laundry and iron clothes.”
She pauses to swallow hard, and I get up and go to the kitchen to get two waters from the fridge.
Handing her a bottle, I murmur, “Drink some before you continue.”
She listens, and while I take a few sips, her tone tenses as she carries on with everything she was taught.
When shame flashes over her features, I know she’s leaving out something horrible.
Taking a wild guess, I ask, “Did you get lessons on sex?”
Her fingers crush the bottle as she nods.
My voice deepens with rage. “Did anyone touch you in an inappropriate manner?”
Yuki shakes her head, and it offers me some relief.
Wanting to set her at ease, I say, “Whatever they taught you about sex is probably wrong. If anything ever happens between us, it will be natural and with your approval.” I set my water down on the table beside the couch before I continue, “I love your cooking, but you don’t have to make dinner every night. Have you met Anita?”
Yuki’s eyes lift to meet mine as she nods. “Samantha introduced me to her last week.”
“Good. Anita takes care of the cleaning and laundry, so I don’t want you to worry about it at all.”
She begins to look a little worried as she asks, “What do you expect me to do during the days?”
“I want you to enjoy life. Do whatever makes you happy.”
For the hundredth time, surprise flickers in her gaze.
Wanting to give her the option, I ask, “Would you like to see a therapist? You’ve been through a lot, and I think it would help if you spoke to a professional.”
“No, thank you,” she replies politely, her back still straight where she’s perched on the couch.
Silence falls between us again, and I give her some time so her emotions can settle after the serious topic we just discussed.