Chapter 19
Yuki
After Samantha left, I washed all my new clothes and spent the entire afternoon rearranging my closet. The short dresses and lingerie have been packed back into my three bags, ready to be donated.
I got the idea from Samantha when she told Bianca to clean out her closet.
As soon as I’m done, I take a quick shower and put on a long skirt, one of the bowtie tops Samantha loves so much, and a pair of comfy sneakers. As soon as I’m dressed, I hurry to the bathroom to see what the outfit looks like in the large mirror that spans over the entire wall behind the tub.
My gaze locks on my reflection, and a wide smile forms on my face as an intense wave of happiness washes through my chest.
I look like all the girls I always admired.
Feeling emotional, I stare at myself for a few minutes before I head downstairs so I can prepare dinner.
I don’t have a lot of time, so I’m making mac and cheese.
Just as I place a pot on the stove, I hear familiar footsteps, and my heart skips a beat. Spending evenings with Augusto, I’ve gotten to know a whole different side of him.
A side I like very much.
When Augusto comes into the kitchen, I immediately notice tired lines on his face and worry stirs in my chest.
The moment he sees me, a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, and admiration fills his eyes. “I love the outfit.” He nods his approval as he comes closer. “This looks much better than the short dresses. Now I don’t have to worry about men drooling over your legs.”
He sounds possessive, which is a new experience for me.
No. Maybe just a little protective.
“I’m glad you like it.”
I’m in for a surprise when he pulls me against his chest, and as he lets out an exhausted sigh, I get the urge to return the hug. Especially after everything he’s done for me.
Giving in, I wrap my arms around him, but he jerks before pulling away. “Sorry. My side’s a little tender.”
My eyes widen as they fly to his face. “Did you get hurt?”
“A failed assassination attempt. Nothing to worry about.”
Shock shudders through me as I gasp. My first instinct is to check his wound, but not feeling comfortable enough, I remain standing where I am.
He sits down on one of the stools, and taking hold of my hand, he gives me a gentle look. “Do you have any idea who would want to start a war between the Yakuza and the Cosa Nostra?”
Kuso! I hope I don’t get in trouble. Things are going so well, I don’t want something to ruin it.
I hesitate before I shake my head. “I was never told anything.”
“It was worth a shot.” Augusto glances at the pot. “Don’t worry about making dinner. Let’s order in.” His gaze returns to me. “What are you in the mood for?”
I’m overly aware that he’s still holding my hand, his fingers strong around mine. Feeling a little shy, I murmur, “You choose.”
“Burger and fries.” Instead of placing the order, he stares at me, and when I give him a questioning look, he whispers, “It’s been a rough day. Looking at you is calming.” Lifting his other hand to my neck, he flicks the bowtie. “This is cute.”
I smile as I glance down because I think so too.
“Look at me,” Augusto orders, his tone suddenly deeper than usual. When I meet his eyes, he shakes his head. “Smile again.”
A nervous tension fills my stomach, and I can only manage to lift the corner of my mouth.
His irises turn darker as he stares at my lips, and when a weird current passes between us, my heartbeat speeds up.
A phone rings, and it feels as if a bubble pops as it draws Augusto’s attention away from me.
Letting go of my hand, he gets up as he removes his phone from his pocket, and walking out of the kitchen, he says, “Is the body disposed of?”
Lowering my head, I look at my hand where I can still feel Augusto’s touch.
What just happened between us?
My heart is still beating faster than usual, and there’s a fluttering in my stomach as if a kaleidoscope of butterflies has been set loose inside me.
No way. I feel attracted to Augusto?!
Just as I begin to worry that it’s too soon, I remember everything he’s done for me and how much he’s changed my life.
I would’ve died if I had stayed one more week with my father.
Besides, I’m married to Augusto. It’s a good thing if I can develop feelings for him. Right?
“Yuki?” My eyes dart to Augusto as he comes back into the kitchen. “Is everything okay?”
I hesitate before I push through and ask, “What will happen once I’m ready?”
Slowly, he comes closer. “Ready for us to take the next step?”
I nod, the spinning in my stomach increasing.
“We’ll transition from this to being intimate.”
Just to hear what he’ll say, I ask, “What if I’m never ready?”
He stares at me while he thinks about his answer. “I’ll find a way to live with it.”
“But that’s not what you want?”
He stops right in front of me, and bringing his hand to my face, he brushes his fingertips over my jaw and down my neck.
“No, and I don’t think it’s what you want either.” He keeps touching me, his eyes locked on my face, and when tingles erupt across my skin, I slap my hand over his, a gasp bursting from me. “I think you want more than a loveless marriage, where we continue to live like roommates.”
He tilts his head, the green of his irises darkening again. The push and pull I felt earlier returns, making my heart beat even faster.
His tone is deep and rough as he asks, “Am I wrong?”
“No,” I whisper, my eyes searching his as I try to figure out how he feels about me.
Moving his hand, his thumb slowly swipes over my bottom lip. I wrap my fingers around his wrist, and when he begins to lean down, I can’t stop my breaths from coming in short, quick puffs.
Suddenly, Augusto wraps his other arm around my lower back, and bending lower, he pulls me up against his body.
I think I squeak, but I can’t be sure because the moment his mouth touches mine, my brain ceases all activity. Instead, I become highly aware of his scent, which is dark and warm, a mixture of cedar and spice that envelops me with possessiveness.
At first, his lips are soft, as if he’s trying to coax me out of my shell. But when a shuddering breath leaves me, and my hold on his wrist tightens, he gives my mouth a firm, claiming nip.
Intense tingles spread through my entire body, and instinctively, I lift my other hand to the side of his neck.
The kiss grows with urgency, and when Augusto’s tongue thrusts into my mouth, I’m so overwhelmed by the powerful fluttering in my stomach and abdomen, a weird mixture of a gasp and moan escapes me.
As he dominates the kiss, I become breathless until it seems as if I’m floating. Every sensation hits at once as his mouth moves possessively against mine. I feel the power in his body as he holds me tightly to him, and I become addicted to how good he smells.
But even more amazing, an emotion crashes through my chest, and I begin to form a crush on the man I used to fear.
My first crush.
I once read that a crush is a spark that ignites the fire of falling in love, and loving someone is making the promise to never let that fire die.
Augusto slows the kiss, giving the inside of my mouth a sensual lick before he stops. Our lips brush softly as we both catch our breaths, and when I open my eyes, it’s to find him staring at me with a ravenous expression tightening his features.
I loosen my hold on his wrist, and when my palm brushes over the length of his forearm, I feel goose bumps forming on his skin.
Lowering my gaze, I take in the sight as he reacts to my touch.
His voice is hoarse as he asks, “How do you feel?”
Unable to lie after the moment we just shared, I answer, “Nervous. Butterflies. Shy.” I keep looking at his forearm and trailing my fingers over his tattoos. “Excited but scared.”
“That's normal.” His thumb strokes over the line of my jaw. “Look at me, Yuki.”
I swallow hard before I lift my gaze to meet his.
“So, no loveless marriage?” he asks. “Do you agree?”
I nod, realizing my toes barely touch the floor because Augusto is still holding me tightly in his strong arms.
“We’re going to keep getting to know each other while letting the intimate side of things take its natural course. If at any time you feel I’m moving too fast for you, just tell me to slow down.”
“Okay.”
The corner of his mouth lifts. “Was your first kiss everything you hoped it would be?”
“It was more intense than I expected.”
His voice drops low and deep again as he asks, “Did you like it?”
Feeling super shy, I nod and let out an awkward chuckle, which turns into a gasp when Augusto ducks his head and crushes his mouth to mine.
This time, he doesn’t start slow but goes straight to hot and hungry. His lips knead mine roughly as his tongue strokes deep and hard with a fierce, dominant intensity.
My head spins, my stomach flutters, and my heart skips more beats.
Oh, wow.
Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and Augusto makes a frustrated sound in the back of his throat that sounds a lot like a growl.
When it rings again, he frees my mouth, but the expression on his face tells me he’s far from done as he orders, “Don’t move.”
Letting go of me, he stalks out of the kitchen, looking upset that someone is interrupting us. I slump back against the stove while touching my fingertips to my tingling lips.
So, this is what it feels like when a man looks at you with desire and kisses you as if he can’t get enough?
A smile spreads over my face, an exhilarating feeling pumping through my blood.
Augusto comes back into the kitchen, drops a bag on the island, and stalks toward me with a determined expression.
My core clenches hard, the sharp sensation unexpected, but I have no time to inspect it.
Framing my jaw with his hands, he tilts my head back, and his mouth takes mine, picking up right where he left off before we were interrupted.
“Jesus,” he groans between kisses. “You’re dangerous.” His teeth tug at my bottom lip, another groan rumbling from his chest. “And fucking addictive.”
Augusto nips, licks, and bites until my mouth is hot from all the friction and tingles. Once he’s had his fill, he lifts his head and looks at me with a similar expression I saw on Riccardo’s face in the club.
“I think it’s safe to say the attraction is mutual.”
I nod and realize I grabbed hold of his sides during the make-out session. Remembering he got hurt, I quickly pull back and ask, “Did I touch your wound?”
“No. It’s higher.”
“Where?”
Augusto gestures at the side of his chest, and realizing how close the bullet came to hitting his heart, a ripple of shock moves through my body.
“That’s really close,” I whisper. “You could’ve died.”
“But I didn’t.” He tilts his head, the corner of his mouth lifting. “Are you worried about me?”
“Yes.” My eyebrows draw together. “You’re my husband.”
As I stare at his chest, it sinks in that in a single month, I’ve experienced an entirely different life.
I love the time I spend with Samantha. I love this house and how it’s starting to feel familiar and warm.
I love seeing Augusto enjoy the meals I prepare for him.
I love the evenings we spend together, asking questions and getting to know each other.
And I love how he kisses me.
“I don’t want to lose all of this,” I admit as I look into his eyes.
“You won’t. If I die, you’ll still live here, and you’ll get enough money to last you the rest of your life.”
“But you won’t be here.” Fear creeps into my heart.
“I don’t want to be alone again. I’ve gotten used to hearing you move around the house.
I know what your footsteps sound like, what time to expect you home, how the air shifts when you enter a room.
” My breaths rush over my lips. “I finally have someone I can fall in love with.”
“Shh…” He pulls me against his chest and presses a kiss to the top of my head. “I’m not going to die.”
“I don’t care about money.” Completely overwhelmed, I continue to spiral as a sob bursts from me.
“I don’t want my life to change, and if you die, it will change everything.
I want us.” I wrap my arms around his waist and cling to him.
“I want a future with you so I can feel what it’s like to be loved. ”
He presses another kiss to my hair. “You’ll get everything you want.”
“From you,” I whimper, pressing even closer to him.
“From me.” He places his hands on either side of my head and forces me to look up at him. When I see the promise in his eyes, it calms the storm in me. “I’m not going anywhere. Okay?”
“Okay.”
His eyes soften on me, and the seedling of hope I’ve been nurturing blossoms, filling every inch of my heart, and I begin to believe that with a little effort, we can have a happy, normal marriage.