4. Penelope
Chapter 4
Penelope
Monday morning comes before I’m really ready for it. I spent the weekend cycling between feeling nervous and feeling excited, and I still don’t really know which one to land on.
On the one hand, it’s an amazing opportunity. Even if the job itself doesn’t work out long term, the paycheck for any amount of time will be helpful, and having Vantage Digital Systems on my resume will mean I don’t have to deal with the same kind of dismissiveness I got from Sienna if I interview at other companies.
On the other hand, it took me hours to get over the lightheaded feeling I got from being in a room with those three Alphas last week, and I don’t know if I can handle that Monday through Friday, nine to five.
But I come to the same conclusion I came to over and over again during the weekend. I owe it to myself to at least see where this could go. And after spending all that time hyping myself up and telling them all that I can do the job, it would look cowardly at best to back out now.
At seven in the morning, I stand in my bedroom mirror and frowning at my appearance.
The pipes are still clanking from my shower just a few minutes ago, and I can hear the slow drip of the ancient showerhead. It doesn’t matter how many times I try to tighten the faucet with the rusty wrench I found under the sink, it always drips.
But everything in this apartment is run down or falling apart. The building itself leans a little to one side, and the way the stairs creak on the way up to the third floor where I live, it’s a wonder it’s still standing.
There are cracks in the baseboards and along the top of the walls near the ceiling, and when it gets cold outside, there’s nothing that can be done to stop the persistent draft that sweeps through.
It’s definitely not the kind of place that anyone who works at Vantage would be caught dead living in, I’m sure, but I guess I’m the exception.
“And not just to that,” I mutter to myself, tugging on the sleeves of the cream colored blouse to make them come down over my wrists a bit more. It’s a smart outfit, the soft blouse with a pencil skirt that hugs my hips and thighs in a way that’s flattering but not provocative. I’m cautious of the way tight fitting things draw attention to my curves, but I refuse to dress in baggy, oversized clothes for my first day of work.
The peplum top and skirt are professional and even a bit stylish, but buying a new set of work clothes wiped out most of my remaining savings. Even with that, I only have enough outfits for about a week’s worth of work days, so I’m going to have to get creative with mixing and matching if I don’t want to give away just how badly I need this job.
I can’t imagine casual Fridays being a thing at Vantage, so I’m going to have to hope my first paycheck can stretch a bit to cover rent, new clothes, and most of all, my suppressants.
I check the time on my phone, and if I leave now, I can still run the bakery that I spotted down the street from the office to get a little something for breakfast. I wouldn’t usually spend money on something like that, probably having some value brand cereal and milk for breakfast instead, but it feels like the kind of day to splurge a little. For good luck.
With one last glance in the mirror, I take a deep breath and then grab my bag, ready to head out the door.
The bakery isn’t too crowded, and I manage to get through the line quickly. Finding a little table in the back, I sip my coffee and eat my Danish, savoring the flaky pastry and flavorful filling. It’s good, and clearly made with love, and I suppress a sigh at the memories being here brings up.
This place is a little more corporate than the bakery I ran for a short time, but the smells are the same, and the rich burst of berry jam and buttery pastry on my tongue just bring me right back to the kitchen in that bakery.
One day, I promise myself. One day I’m going to give it another chance. I have to. It’s a dream that stays with me, even though it failed once already. But that doesn’t mean it’s not achievable. I just need a better plan this time.
And more money.
But money requires this job, and doing the job means I need to get to the office. So I get up from the table and brush any lingering crumbs from my face before heading down the street for my first day at Vantage.
Just like when I arrived for my interview last week, the lobby of the office building is peaceful and bright. The wall of windows lets the morning sun stream in, and the security guard takes a cursory look at my brand new ID badge when I flash it and then waves me on to the elevators.
It feels good to scan the badge and hit the button for the fifth floor, knowing I belong here now. Sort of. I’m not an outsider, like I was the first day I arrived.
The elevator dings, and I step out onto the fifth floor, heading down the hall for the admin offices.
Sienna is stepping out of her own office when I walk up, and she glances at me with disinterest for half a second, her gaze sliding over me like I’m not even important enough to look at.
“Good morning, Ms. Livingston,” I say to her with a polite smile. “I think you have some paperwork I need to fill out?”
“It’s already at your desk,” she snips back. “Which is where you should be by now.”
I bite back the urge to tell her that I’m actually fifteen minutes early and just keep smiling. “Sure, I’ll go there right now and start filling things out.”
Sienna just looks at me and then smirks. “You might want to put on a jacket or something first. If you have one.”
I frown. I know my outfit is completely appropriate for the office, and if she’s making some barbed comment about the quality?—
“Because you have a stain on your shirt. Jam, if I’m not mistaken.”
I look down and my heart sinks when I realize she’s right. There’s a dark red blob right over my chest where some of the jam from my Danish must have squished out and landed on me. And I didn’t even notice.
Before I can say anything else, Sienna walks away, her heels clicking across the polished floor as she goes. That’s honestly the nicest thing she could have done for me in this situation, since my cheeks are probably as red as the stain on my shirt right now.
I rush to the bathroom, blinking back tears of embarrassment. So much for a treat on my first day at the office. So much for doing something nice for myself. All I’ve done is give Sienna even more ammo to hate me or whatever and made an idiot of myself before I even have my foot in the door good.
“Stupid,” I mumble under my breath as I take the shirt off and wet the stain in the sink. “Why didn’t I check before I left the bakery? I would so much rather have done this in their bathroom than here.”
It’s a close thing, but at least I could have just never shown my face there again. Unlike here, where I have to come five days a week and deal with Sienna smirking at me.
I scrub furiously at the stain, relieved when it starts to come out. At least that’s something. I’ll just have a damp shirt instead of a stained shirt. Especially since I can’t afford to replace this piece of my wardrobe yet.
I breathe a sigh of relief that at least this crisis is mostly averted and take the shirt over to the hand dryer to try to deal with the worst of the dampness.
So of course that’s the moment the door to the bathroom bangs open and someone walks in.
I brace myself for it to be Sienna, coming to deliver yet another acidic comment about me being late or whatever, but when I turn my head to see, it’s actually so much worse.
Because it’s not Sienna standing there with that smug expression on her pretty face. No, it’s Xavier, standing in the doorway and looking just as shocked to see me standing there in the bathroom in just my bra and skirt as I am to see him here at all.
“Mr. Sterling!” I yelp, my hands flying up to try to cover myself with my shirt. “I—you—what are you doing in here?”
Is he looking for me? Did Sienna feed him some crap about me goofing off or being unfit for the job or something?
A bemused smile spreads across his handsome face, lighting up his bright spring green eyes even more. “This is the men’s room, Ms. Dalton,” he says, amusement coloring his tone. “So I think I should be asking you that question.”
Oh my god.
Just kill me now.
If I could sink through the floor and become one with the foundation I would. It would be better than this. I’ve been here five minutes— five minutes—and I’ve already embarrassed myself more than the last five months combined.
And the kicker is that even though I want to keep my eyes trained on the tiled floor so I don’t have to see him seeing me like this, his presence is so magnetic that I can’t help but glance up at him to take him in.
His pants are well tailored and pressed, and he’s just in a crisp white button down shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair is tousled again, but he somehow manages to look perfectly put together as well as completely touchable.
Approachable. Completely approachable.
“I am so sorry,” I rush to say. “It was just—I had a stain, and I didn’t want to look sloppy, so I came to fix it, and I guess I didn’t look before I came in, and?—”
“Ms. Dalton.” He cuts me off with a smile, less amused now and more just kind. “I’m going to ask you to do something for me, all right?”
This is it. He’s going to ask me to hand over my ID badge and leave. Or at the very least, he’s going to ask me to get out of the men’s room so he can pee in peace.
He steps closer to me, not quite entering my personal space, but getting close enough that it makes my heart beat even faster, which is impressive, considering it’s already doing double time just from the sheer mortification I feel right now.
“Okay,” I murmur, trying not to hang my head in defeat.
Xavier smiles again. “Take a breath.”
“What?”
He demonstrates, inhaling deeply and then letting it out in a slow exhale. “You’re freaking out. Breathing will help.”
I nod shakily and force myself to do as he asks. Almost immediately, I’m hit with something that’s not quite regret when my senses are flooded with his fresh mint and coconut scent. It’s so light that it cuts through the worst of my embarrassment, but it also hits me with a spike of feeling that’s just as intense.
But I make myself take another breath, and then one more for good measure, feeling myself settle after the third.
“Very good,” Xavier says. “Do you feel better?”
I nod again. “Yes. I really am sorry about the misunderstanding. And for being late.”
He shrugs, looking unbothered. “You don’t start until nine. It’s only eight fifty-three right now.”
“Right. That’s good. I’m going to just… get dressed, then.” I duck into a stall before he can reply, putting my shirt back on and breathing a sigh of relief that it’s not too damp. By lunch it should be completely dry, and maybe I can put this whole embarrassing moment behind me.
I’m torn between hiding in the stall until Xavier is gone and the desperate need to get to my desk before nine hits, and in the end, being punctual wins out. I step out of the stall and find Xavier by the sinks once more, washing his hands.
He looks me over and then steps up to me again. This time he crosses right into my personal bubble, and my eyes widen. He reaches out and tugs some of my hair free from the collar of the shirt, then adjusts the fabric so it lies properly.
Warmth explodes through me, and I have to fight the urge to suck in a sharp breath. His touch sends a ripple of goosebumps down my arms and a shiver up my spine, and I focus on breathing steadily. It just floods my nose with his scent even more, and my head is full of him in the moment.
My heartbeat had calmed down, but now it’s racing again, a cocktail of adrenaline and instinct pumping through me.
Xavier seems unaware of my little internal meltdown and steps back, giving me my space again.
“There,” he says. “Now you’re ready for your first day. Let me walk you to your desk.”
“Oh, you don’t have to, I can?—”
He waves that away with another of those smiles that light up his whole face. “Don’t worry about it. It’s your first day, and I hired you. It’s the least I can do.”
I want to tell him that just giving me this job was already enough, but instead I just smile back and let him lead the way out of the bathroom.
The hallway is blessedly empty at first, but then Sienna comes around the corner and sees us coming out of the bathroom together. She narrows her eyes and scowls at me, like I’ve done something to offend her. But the look is only there for a split second before she turns and smiles brightly at Xavier.
“Good morning, Mr. Sterling,” she says, in a completely different tone than the one she’s been using with me. “I have some messages for you.”
“Thanks, Sienna,” Xavier says. “You can just leave them on my desk. I’m going to walk Ms. Dalton to hers and then head on up.”
We walk past her, and I don’t even glance back to see Sienna’s face. I don’t have to because I can feel the heat of her glare on my back.
Xavier drops me off at my desk with one last smile. “Welcome to Vantage, officially,” he says. “If you have any questions, Sienna can steer you in the right direction.”
Yeah, right . “Of course,” I reply. “Thank you so much.”
He gives me a little salute, and then he’s gone, heading for the elevators so he can go do the important work that keeps this place going, presumably. His scent lingers behind, enticing and delicious, and I swallow a few times to get a hold of myself.
If I’m going to work here, I can’t go to pieces every time one of the Alphas leaves their scent all over the place.
I find a stack of paperwork on my desk with a note that tells me to take it to HR to fill out.
That focuses my mind on the task at hand.
Do my job and do it well. Get paid. Get my suppressants and everything else I need. Nothing has changed.
I scoop up the stack and head for the elevators, silently grateful for the fact that all the floors are so well labeled.
HR is on one of the upper floors, and I walk down it, glancing at the door plaques to find the right place. I’m so caught up in it that I don’t notice someone coming down the hall in the other direction until I’m literally on top of them.
This time, the scent hits me before I realize who it is.
Dark chocolate and blackberry. Dominic.
I jump back, an apology already forming on my lips, but he just glares at me, and the words die in my throat.
His presence is every bit as intimidating as it was when we first met, the force of it pressing down on me along with his overpowering scent. Where Xavier’s helped me calm down some earlier, Dominic’s scent just makes me more nervous than I already was.
He stalks off without saying anything, leaving me staring after him with a pit in my stomach.
That encounter more than anything else that’s happened this morning leaves me wondering all over again if I’m going to be able to hack it at this job. Xavier might like me enough to give me a chance, but it’s clear Dominic is keeping score of every time I do something stupid, just waiting for me to mess up.