Chapter Seven
Lorelei
M y eyes snap open when the alarm on my phone starts screaming throughout the room. It is plugged into the charger on my nightstand. I am dressed in Remy’s shirt, and last night starts to come back in flashes.
“Oh no,” I say as I sit up.
“What?” Tris asks, walking into the room. I scream and toss myself out of bed, not expecting her to be here. “Damn, girl.”
“Fuck, Tris,” I say. “When the fuck did you get here?”
“About an hour ago,” she laughs. “Remy said you took a muscle relaxer and nearly drowned yourself. He went home to get a shower for work and asked me to come make sure you were good.”
“I fucked up,” I say as I get off of the floor.
“Uh oh,” she says. I go through the evening and tell her everything that I remember.
“I… what the fuck is wrong with me?” I ask.
“Are you skipping over the fact that he is a virgin and was saving himself for you? That is cute as fuck,” she says.
“I was out of my mind. Maybe I am remembering wrong,” I say.
“No… Cam told me yesterday when we went for a walk that he is,” she says. “Also, you brother monster fucked me in the woods.”
“I’m sorry… What?” I ask.
“He fucked me… hard… over a fallen tree… and then again in his bed, on his couch, just… everywhere,” she says.
“Well damn. It’s about time,” I laugh.
“Pretty sure he’s going to get me pregnant. He knows I’m not on birth control. I told him and he said ‘good’ then just fucking slammed into me. Did I mention he has a giant dick and my belly hurts today?”
“That was more than I needed to know about my big brother, but good for him,” I say. “And you, I guess.”
“So, you aren’t mad?” she asks.
“Why would I be? It just means one day you’ll be my real sister,” I say with a smile.
My phone dings and I glance over to see that it is Remy. I groan and pick it up to see that he texted me.
Remy
Morning. Feeling okay?
Yeah. Thanks for not letting me drown.
Not a problem. You good?
Uh…
I assume you remember then.
Yeah. I need to get ready for work.
Lori. We should talk today.
I toss my phone onto my bed and start getting ready for work. Tris watches me, but doesn’t say anything. She occasionally looks at her phone, but I just focus on getting ready for work.
Once I am ready, I skip coffee and breakfast and leave the apartment while Tris is in the bathroom.
I can’t handle today, and I am ready to go back to bed already.
For the entire drive to work, I blare music to try and drown out the noise in my brain.
It works until I have to go inside. Remy’s truck is here already.
“Great,” I mutter to myself as I walk into the building. I see him talking to someone in the lobby, but I go straight for the elevator. I get inside and the doors are about to close when he puts his hand in the way and they open.
“Good morning to you too,” he says with a smile as the doors close. Instead of engaging, I pull my phone out and doom scroll on social media until the elevator opens again. I slip out and go straight for my office, shutting the door before he can get to me.
I sit at my desk and close my eyes for a moment. I need to just chill out, and everything will go back to normal in a few days. He will forget that I threw myself at him like a cheap crack whore, and all will be well.
“What?” I snap when my door comes open.
“Damn. Sorry,” Cam laughs.
“Sorry,” I sigh.
“I brought you coffee, since you ditched Tris,” he says, sitting a coffee on the desk in front of me.
“Thanks,” I say. “She told me you monster fucked her… Her words, not mine.”
“Yeah… I did,” he laughs. “Is that bad?”
“No. I’m glad you two have finally figured things out,” I say.
“I hear you have had some shit going on,” he says.
“Which one ran their mouth,” I ask with a frown.
“Neither,” he says. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing I can’t handle,” I say. “You two have a meeting first thing at eight.”
“Lorelei,” he says.
“Cameron, please don’t,” I say with a sigh. I look up and see that Remy is standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. “Can everyone just leave me alone?”
“Sorry. You are coming to the meeting you demanded to be a part of,” Cam says to me with a smile. “Get your shit and come on.”
“Whatever,” I say. I grab my laptop and phone before standing. I go to step past Cam, but he stands and blocks me. “Cam…”
“Don’t forget your coffee, sis,” he says, handing me my cup. I frown at him before he finally moves. I get to the door, and Remy doesn’t move.
“Move,” I say. He just looks at me, studying me. “Goddamn it… Remy, please move.”
“You and I need to talk later,” he says simply, before stepping out of the way.
“Good fucking luck,” I mutter. I walk out of the room and run into Tris.
“You ditched me,” she frowns. I just step past her and go down to the conference room. They all follow, but it makes me just want to run. I am on edge and I can’t stand it here today.
I get into the room and sit. Cam sits on one side of me and Remy is on the other. Tris sits beside Cam and I ignore them all and get on my laptop to start working. “Are you mad at me?” Remy asks softly as he leans in to speak.
“No.”
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Just feel like an idiot,” I say simply. Cam starts the meeting, and I focus on typing out notes as they talk. I get lost in my thoughts and before I know it, I look up and everyone is staring at me.
“Does that work?” Cam asks.
“I was… sorry, does what work?”
“There is a meeting that one of us has to attend in Seattle. I have meetings here, so I am sending you with Remy,” he says. “It’s in two weeks. Does that work?”
“Uh… yeah,” I say, making note of what he is saying. “I’ll find reservations.”
“Okay,” he says to me before continuing with everyone else. I try to focus, but my thoughts keep drifting back to last night. I do my best to take notes, but the meeting is over and I have done nothing but sit here and stare at my computer.
As soon as people stand up and start to leave, so do I.
I need to get out of this room before I implode.
I grab my stuff, leaving my coffee, and rush back to my office.
I kick the door open, even though both Remy and Cam have a key.
I try to fill in the blank spots of memory of the meeting, but I fucked up. I’m fucking everything up.
“We need to talk,” Cam says as he walks into my office. Remy is in the doorway but says nothing.
“What?” I snap.
“I think it’s best that you go home,” he says simply.
“Fine,” I scoff and stand up. I pick up my bag and he steps in front of me. “Move.”
“What has gotten into you, Lorelei?” he asks.
“A lot. That’s the problem,” I say vaguely, pointing toward my assumption that I am a whore.
“You didn’t write a single note. You didn’t hear a word anyone said. You have a massive attitude. What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Am I fired?” I ask.
“No, Lori,” he sighs.
“’Kay, I’ll be here tomorrow then,” I say as I push past him and go to the door.
“Lori,” Remy says, glancing at Cam.
“Stop.”
“You need to…”
“Move,” I snap.
“Tell him or I will,” he says simply.
“Fine,” I say as I face my brother. “I worked in a strip club through college, but I never quit. I started letting men pay to fuck me. Friday night, a regular client brought friends and they hurt me. I tried to stop it, but there were three of them. I got myself raped because I’m a fucking idiot.
One of them hit me, so that’s why my eye is red.
Makeup is covering the bruise he left. Happy?
I can’t get it out of my head. I can’t stop thinking about it or the fact that I’ve ruined myself and now everyone deserves better than me, and there is nothing I can do to change it.
There is nothing I can do to go back and convince myself to not cover up my pain by letting men use me. ”
I turn back to Remy and he steps out of my way.
I take this opportunity to practically run away and get to the elevator.
I manage to make it back to my car before bursting into tears.
I’m so mad and sad all at once. I need to get out of my head.
While still crying, I search for the studio near my apartment and call them.
I take a deep breath and call to rent out the space.
I am sitting on the floor with my back against one of the mirrors, staring at the pole.
I rented the space every evening to make sure it’s free for me to use when I want.
After I talked to the owner, I went home and slept for a while before just watching television.
I ended up turning my phone off because everyone kept calling me and I just don’t feel like talking.
Now, it’s late at night, and I can finally get out of my head. I have spandex shorts on and a sports bra so that it feels normal. I usually have next to nothing on, but they obviously require clothing. I tap on my phone to turn the music on and approach the pole.