Chapter 8 #3
Faith let her friend’s words wash over her as she made her way to the parking garage, her mind already racing ahead to what—or rather who—might be waiting for her at home.
Despite the unsettling call from her admirer, the thought of seeing Jake again sent a flutter of anticipation through her that she couldn’t quite suppress.
The night air was crisp as Faith pulled into her driveway, and she couldn’t stop the smile that curved her lips when she spotted Jake’s truck. He was sitting on the tailgate, grinning at her like he’d won a prize at the fair.
Faith ran a self-conscious hand through her messy hair. “I look terrible?—”
Jake hopped down and crossed to her in three quick strides, his hands cupping her face before she could finish the sentence. His eyes moved over her features like he was memorizing them.
“You’re beautiful,” he said simply, and the rough honesty in his voice made her believe it. Her breath caught when his thumb traced her bottom lip.
“Jake—”
“I’ve been thinking about kissing you all night,” he murmured, stepping closer until she could feel his warmth.
It would take a stronger woman than she’d ever been for the need in his eyes to not weaken her resolve. Somehow, the way he looked at her made her feel beautiful despite her disheveled state.
“Nice night,” she said, feeling the flutters of first love and awkwardness in her stomach. It was forty degrees and looked like it could rain at any moment, but her body temperature was so high she hardly noticed.
He laughed and said, “Absolutely beautiful. Why don’t we get this out of the way?”
Jake kept his hands still, sure she’d run like a rabbit if he touched her now, and gently lowered his lips, soft and warm, to hers.
He rubbed them gently back and forth, and felt her shudder beneath him.
The tension left her shoulders and her body relaxed as she leaned into the kiss.
And when he heard her moan, he reached up gently to cup her face.
Her mouth opened beneath his, and her surrender was more than he could have hoped for.
His tongue warred with hers and she met his passion with equal fervor.
There was an ache deep inside that Faith couldn’t describe.
It pounded in her chest and throbbed in her loins.
But the pleasure…God, the pleasure was unlike anything she’d ever experienced.
She pulled him closer and let the fire burn that she’d left as embers so long ago.
The hardness of his body cradled her softness, and she wanted nothing more than to lose herself in his touch.
When they parted, Faith knew her life had changed. She’d always remember him like this, the shadow of night and the glow of the moonlight, soft music and gentle hands. Hands that were patient even though she could feel the vibrations of fierce desire coursing through his body.
“There,” he said, his voice husky with need. “That’s better.”
“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” Faith said, shaken.
He laughed and brought his lips to hers again briefly. “Well, I think it’s something I could get used to it. Dance with me.”
He turned on the stereo he’d left in the bed of his truck, and the soothing sounds of Billie Holiday floated through the air. He held out his hand, waiting for her to make the next move. When she stepped into his embrace, it was like coming home.
They moved slowly and held each other lightly, knowing what a tenuous beginning they shared.
And when his lips touched hers again, everything disappeared around her, the music, the autumn air and the stars.
There was only Jake, and she could feel his love bearing down on her, no matter how hard she tried to ward it off.
“I’m dizzy,” she whispered.
“Me too,” he said, stopping the slow spin. “You make me want, Faith. So much that I ache from it.”
“I…”
“Shh,” he said, placing his finger across her lip. “You don’t have to explain anything. I know we’re moving at different speeds. I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“I don’t think I can take any more surprises,” she said with a nervous laugh.
“Come on,” he said, leading her to the back of his truck.
“Well, you’ve been busy,” she said, eyeing the blankets and pillows.
“I thought we’d lie under the stars and talk a bit if that’s all right with you. I’d like to know you, all of you.”
This was the last thing Faith had expected. Talk. She was sure Jake would have tried to get her into bed at this point, and she probably would have gone with him. He obviously had a few tricks up his sleeve, and she’d have to keep on her toes to keep her heart protected.
“Okay,” she said, getting into the truck bed. She accepted the hot chocolate he’d poured from a thermos and propped her back against the mound of pillows. When he settled in beside her she scooted closer, his body like a furnace on the cool night.
“You know,” he said, not so subtly putting his arm around her. “We’ve been having surface conversations for weeks. You’ve actually told me very little about you.”
“That’s the pot calling the kettle black.”
“You could be right,” he said. “Now tell me your deepest, darkest secrets,”
“Very smooth,” she said, laughing. “Let’s see, I love music from the forties, and I am deathly afraid of rodents.”
“I know that already, but I’ll give you a pass since you had to go first. Now it’s my turn.
I’m an only child and my parents got divorced right after I graduated from high school.
My grandparents, on my mother’s side, decided to bequeath all of their money to me and my only cousin for some reason that I’ll never understand.
Ruth tells me I’m going to get all of her fortune too, but I told her to leave it to the whales or knitters against drunk driving or something like that.
I like to buy my boxer shorts from Walmart because they’re the softest. I also would love to have a dog someday.
I never had one as a kid because they didn’t mix well with my mother’s rose garden. ”
“You’re an open book,” she said dryly. “Is it my turn again?”
He answered her by kissing the top of her head and smoothing the wayward curls behind her ears.
“I graduated from high school two years early and completed my undergrad and graduate work by the time I was twenty. I had my doctorate by the time I was twenty-four and opened a private practice the same year. I’m what you might call a prodigy.
I’ve had several academic papers published and though I check off all of those academic boxes, I find it all quite boring and tedious.
I’d much rather be in the trenches and working directly with people. ”
“I noticed you were very smart,” he said, nipping the side of her jaw with his teeth.
“I find that very attractive in a woman. I have an MBA that I have never used and nearly gave my parents a stroke when I told them I was going into the construction business. But, I’m very proud of the company, and they’ve learned to live with it and not talk about me in polite company.
I believe I’m considered the black sheep of the family. ”
Faith thought that was a very telling statement. It hurt, no matter what age you were, to not have the approval of your parents. Hers had always been there for her. No matter what, even though she’d grown up in the same circles of the wealthy that Jake had.
“But Ruth is proud enough of you to make up for everyone else,” she said, touching the side of his cheek in comfort. “Sometimes you have to do what’s best for yourself, even though it might be the most difficult path to accept for others.
“Yes,” he whispered. “A little bit of free therapy?” he asked, annoyed that he’d been read so easily.
“I didn’t mean…I’m sorry,” Faith said, putting more than just physical distance between them. Why couldn’t she ever learn to keep her mouth shut?
Jake pulled her closer, despite her protests, and buried his face in the soft fragrance of her hair.
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. It was a cheap shot, and I didn’t mean it.
It’s just that my family has always been a raw spot with me.
I’ve never had anyone to share it with other than Gran.
I’ve never had anyone I wanted to share it with. Until I met you.”
She leaned her head against him, and he felt her love and warmth.
There was a gentleness inside her, hidden beneath the savvy exterior she’d cultivated.
He knew there was hurt there and despite her expert knowledge when it came to relationships, he knew she didn’t have that same level of confidence when it came to her own relationships.
But she understood him. It was as if she could look at him and see all the hurts and triumphs he’d had his entire life.
He’d been the son who’d been dutifully conceived and brought up in the world he’d been privileged enough to have been born in.
His parents had thrown every private lesson and luxury at him so he’d be the best, because nothing was more important to Clark and Alice Murphy than being the best.
He’d never touched a cent of his trust fund or inheritance, and he never planned to.
He’d walked away from their world and their life and their expectations that he could never meet and he’d forged out on his own.
And he’d worked and scraped and saved and invested until he’d done exactly what he’d set out to do.
It didn’t matter that his father didn’t mention his name on the golf course or that his mother had stopped trying to set him up with heiresses.
An heiress wouldn’t have him, despite his family name.
But Faith didn’t care about who his parents were or the money he refused to spend.
“Marry me, Faith.”
Her hand froze on his cheek. “What?”
“I said marry me. I love you, and I want to have a thousand nights just like this one, with you.”
“We barely know each other.”
“I feel like I’ve known you my whole life,” he said, shrugging.
“What are weeks or months? Who determines how long is long enough. I knew the first moment I laid eyes on you, standing in a falling-down house with dust on your nose and your hair looking like you’d stuck a finger in a light socket.
I know you feel it too. And I know you’re scared. ”
“Don’t do this to me, Jake,” she said, sitting up and putting some space between them.
“It’s not fair. I’m not saying you couldn’t make me love you.
You could. But after we have our thousand nights together, will you get bored and move on to something more exciting?
Will we have a few nights of pleasure followed by a lifetime of misery?
I can promise whatever expectations you have will never be met.
Unmet expectations are the number one reason for dissatisfaction in marriages. ”
“So your expectation is that it will fail?” he asked, not bothering to mask the hurt inside of him.
“I never in my life thought I’d want to marry anyone after watching the hell of my parents’ marriage.
But I took one look at you, and then I’ve gotten to know you and see you, and all of those vows I made just went away.
I want to make something with you. Something special and real. ”
She shook her head and he felt the rejection like an arrow to the heart. “I can’t marry you, Jake,” she said, her voice hitching and tears burning her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
He had expected some surprise, some trepidation, but he hadn’t expected the fear and the bitterness in her eyes. Maybe he’d gotten carried away in the moment. Maybe it was too soon. But he knew they’d end up here eventually. And he loved her. Why couldn’t she see that?
“Why not? Is love not enough for you? What do I have to do? I want a commitment from you, a home, a family. You’re it for me, Faith. I want you. Forever.”
“Jake, I don’t want to hurt you.”
His laugh was bitter. “Too late for that. Tell me what you feel. I want the truth.”
“I don’t know. We’ve only known each other a couple of months. I’m not convinced that love at first sight is real. I know it’s not for me. I need security and trust. Marriage is not something I’ve ever planned on going through again.
“Whatever hell you thought your parents’ marriage was is nothing compared to what mine was like.” Her teeth were chattering in the cold, but he didn’t think she even realized. “I won’t marry you. I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Jake watched her jump out of the truck and run into the trailer. She’d been married before, and he’d had no clue. He leaned his head back and looked up at the stars. The first drops of freezing rain fell on his face and ran down his cheeks like tears.
“Perfect. Just perfect.”
He put his hand on top of the ache in his chest and rubbed.
Hurt? Hurt didn’t begin to describe what he was feeling.
Was love always so painful? He’d obviously miscalculated, but that just meant a change in strategy was needed.
He was in love with Faith Hartwell, whether they’d known each other a few days or a few years.
He was going to get to the bottom of this past marriage and then work on making her fall in love with him. He wasn’t a quitter.
Jake hopped out of the back of the truck as the rain started to fall in earnest, not as heavy hearted as he was before, but just as determined.