Chapter Twenty-Five #2
“Lucie, New York is everything you’ve been waiting for,” Bex insisted.
“It’s nothing compared to you!” I said. “Anyway, I need to make space for important stuff outside of work.”
“Are you kidding me?” Bex yelped, her distress temporarily muted. “Did I or did I not say this to you at Sergio’s?”
“You did and you were right,” I said meekly.
“And it took flying over three thousand miles to work that out,” she said with a tut. “But in all seriousness, you can’t give up your dream, not for me.”
“I’m not!” I assured her. “I’ll do what needs to be done, it’ll be great for me. Then I’ll come home and be there for you.”
“Don’t do this because you feel guilty about my birthday,” she ordered.
“I’m doing this because I love you,” I said. “And maybe a little bit because of your birthday. But, mainly, the love thing.”
“If you’re sure,” she said in a small voice. “I could really use your help. I’m already the size of a Mini Cooper, I can’t stop napping and Magda’s demands are literally insane. Dan is doing his best, but he’s up for promotion and we need the money—”
“Stop.” I fixed her with my most authoritative stare. “I’m coming home. And there is nothing you can do about it.”
“Thank you.” She let out a sigh and all the tension left her face. “So.” Her eyes twinkled. “Tell me about Bone— I mean, Elliot. How was the kiss?”
“Scandalously good,” I said. “I think we traumatized multiple small children.”
“Sounds dreamy.” Her eyes lit up. “Tell me more.”
Once I’d hung up, I made my way back into the office, feeling rejuvenated.
I’d made the right call; I was sure of that.
I hurried to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
Noah and Vivian were deep in conversation by the coffee machine, the latter uncharacteristically giggling at something Noah was saying.
“You know, I’ve never thought about that before,” she was saying, placing an elegant hand on his arm. “But I would love to see the Dredd comics reimagined like that.”
Noah was starry eyed, gazing into her face as if she was his salvation. “Totally.”
There it was yet again, the most unnatural pairing I could ever imagine.
It made no sense. Like flat-earthers or exotically flavored KitKats.
Why would Vivian continue to give Noah the time of day, given she was engaged to one of New York’s richest men?
I drank my water and escaped from the kitchen, pulling out my phone to review my calendar so I could work out what date to book my home flight. It would be so good to see Bex again.
But then Elliot emerged from the writers’ room, running his hand through rumpled hair and something twinged inside me.
Leaving New York meant leaving him and the truth of that hit me hard, like a punch.
Was Bex right? Had I caught actual feelings for this man?
As I watched him head to reception to talk to Juno, his powerful body towering over her desk, I tried to imagine a world where I didn’t get to see him every day, to talk about movies and the things that really mattered to us.
And it felt wrong. At that moment, Elliot caught my eye and gave me that lazy, quirked smile of his. My resolve wavered.
“Hey.” He ambled over, shouldering his backpack. “I have to go to the Woodstock set.”
“Is there a problem?”
He rolled his eyes. “RJ’s having disagreements with the director again, he wants me with him.”
“Right, you’d best hurry then,” I said.
“I could be there late,” he said regretfully. “Do you want to walk out with me as I wait for my cab?”
“Sure.” As we rode the lift, he threaded his fingers through mine and kissed my knuckles again.
The sensation of his lips on my skin sent those delicious shocks of desire through my system but also dread.
Dread that I would have to say goodbye to him for who knew how long, so really, what was the point of any of this? We were just going to get hurt.
“I’m sorry we have to call a rain check on tonight,” he said. “But maybe I can call you after I’m done?”
“You don’t have to apologize,” I said, my voice choked with regret.
“Hey.” He tugged at my hand. “What’s up?”
As we headed through the building lobby and out into the street, words tumbled through my brain.
What he and I had was so new, so unnamed; I didn’t even know what he wanted from me.
It was all at once wonderful and terrifying.
But I’d made my choice and I had to find a way to live with it. “I have to leave New York,” I blurted.
He froze. “What, like, now?”
“As soon as the pitch is done.”
“But – just like that?” he said. “Why?”
“It’s not like this was unexpected,” I replied. “My visa is temporary.”
“Yeah, but isn’t it valid for several months?” Elliot demanded.
“I’m only here to work on the script. Once that’s done, why drag things out?” His eyes widened with hurt, and I instantly regretted my choice of words. “I didn’t mean to sound like I don’t want to be here, I—”
“No, no.” He dropped my hand to fold his arms. “I knew you were only here for a little while; I shouldn’t be too shocked.”
“Bex is pregnant. She needs me back in London. So maybe this—” I gestured between me and him “—is a disaster waiting to happen.”
“A disaster?” He reeled back. “That’s – okay, wow.”
“I’m sorry, I’m saying this all wrong.” It was new to me. Talking to a man who drove me so crazy with desire I could barely see straight was entirely foreign territory. “I’m not sure it’s wise to get involved in anything when I’m leaving soon.”
“Right.” Elliot’s Uber pulled up beside him, but he didn’t move.
“I’m only trying to do the right thing,” I pleaded.
“I just—” His lips thinned as he searched my face. “I guess I was hoping for more and that’s on me. I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for,” I insisted. “I really wish things were different.”
“If you say so.” He yanked open the car door, threw his rucksack in.
“I do say so.” I gulped back tears. “You think this is easy for me?”
“I think you’re being practical,” he said harshly.
“If it’s practical to care about my best friend then, fine, I’m being practical,” I said hotly.
“Or you’re doing the exact thing Bex has been warning you about,” he said. “Letting life pass you by because it might steal focus from the one thing you want to concentrate on.”
“For once I’m choosing my life over my career,” I said.
“Bex is all I have!” I’d never felt this way about a man before, and I didn’t know what to do with that.
But two things I did know to be true were that Bex was in trouble and that my visa would end soon.
Both those problems could be solved by me going home.
Adding Elliot into the mix was a complication I wasn’t sure I could handle.
“All you have?” he repeated impatiently. “Maybe that’s because you won’t make space for anyone else. Like, right here, right now. You don’t know yet what we could be.”
“That’s right, I don’t know.” Elliot had been in my life a matter of weeks. Did that mean he was mine? How could he be so sure, so soon? “Elliot, we had one kiss. I’m still figuring things out.”
He stepped back, shaking his head. “You don’t want to try.”
“What? No!” He thought I was being cruel. “I’m just trying to do what’s right.”
“What’s right?” he repeated. “You are so infuriating! The right thing is staring you in the face and you’re ignoring it.”
“Please,” I begged. “This isn’t easy for me.”
“Then let me make it easier.” With that, Elliot climbed into his taxi and slammed the door shut.