Chapter 21 Freddie #2
“Yes,” Anna confirms with haunted eyes. She places one hand on her chin and cracks her neck, wincing at the sound. “Good thing we have you here to help.”
A heady rush of pride fills me up. Boy done good.
I deliver the cakes to their table and, after checking no one needs anything else, I retake my seat next to Ethan.
“Sorry about that, buddy. How’s the practice going?”
“Good! Listen.”
Ethan plays the dyads perfectly. Either I’m an amazing teacher or he really does have a knack for music.
“Wow Ethan, that’s rad! Methinks you’re ready for another challenge.” I position my hand higher up the keyboard. “You keep playing what I taught you over and over and I’ll play a melody over the top. Just ignore what I’m doing and focus on your part, okay?”
Ethan’s brow scrunches with concentration. “Okay.”
I play the melody to Going Numb, one of the first songs I ever wrote, over the top of Ethan’s bass notes.
It’s meant to be a sad song and the melody sounds weird in a major key, but I’m the only one who’d notice.
Chatter in the café has reached a dull roar, so we turn the volume up a couple of notches to hear ourselves.
He makes a couple of slip ups, mostly with timing, but it’s nothing I can’t cover and by the second verse, it’s coming together nicely.
“We’ll make a rock star out of you yet, Ethan,” I exclaim.
Ethan stops playing and looks up at me. “Are you a rock star, Feddie?”
A small laugh escapes me. Adorable. “I wish.”
Ethan frowns, pursing his lips.
“I think you’re a rock star,” he says, matter-of-factly.
“Well, you would know,” I joke, though I’m secretly pleased. Kids are famously harsh critics.
With one little hand, Ethan slides the keyboard across the table towards me. “You play now.”
“Aw, you don’t want to hear me play. Why don’t I teach you something else—”
“No,” says Ethan, defiantly. “I wanna hear.”
The kid has made up his mind, and who am I to turn down a chance to perform?
“Alright. Just for you, Ethan. Since you’re a VIP and all.”
Ethan claps his hands together with glee as I scoot my chair around so my back is facing the rest of the café—it’s not fair to subject the customers to an unsolicited concert, and Anna definitely wouldn’t approve.
I fiddle with the keyboard’s settings until I find a sound I like. Then, I play the opening chords to Going Numb, in the original key, and quietly sing:
Said goodbye a thousand times,
To your memory inside,
So why does it feel,
Like I’m living a lie?
I try to run, I try to hide,
Now I know the reason why,
I’ll never get away,
But I can’t bear to stay.
I’m surprised by how nice the song sounds stripped back like this. Normally I’d accompany myself with some complex fingerpicking on the guitar, but I guess sometimes less is more. As I play the lead-in to the chorus, I forgo my usual mixed-belt for a clean falsetto.
Kept running away like it would do any good,
Wishing you’d come back, oh I hoped that you would,
Didn’t want to be everything I knew I’d become,
Living without you, I’m going numb.
Pain tugs at my voice like it always does when I sing about Mum. I’ve learned to control it over the years, to channel it into the performance, but it doesn’t stop it hurting. Ethan’s eyes sparkle as he listens.
The times when you would drift away,
It felt like you were meant to stay,
I couldn’t make you better,
Though I tried every day.
You left before your time,
Said you’ll always be mine,
So I’ll sing this song for you,
If it means keeping you alive.
I repeat the chorus, shutting my eyes and losing myself in the melody. My hands dance over the keys, playing a delicate solo which disguises a subtle key change, ascending into the final, heart-wrenching chorus.
Kept running away like it would do any good,
Wishing you’d come back, oh like you ever could,
Never gonna be everything I thought I’d become,
Living without you, I’m going numb.
The song ends, the final chord rings out. There’s a moment of silence, then the café erupts with applause.
I wheel around and I’m greeted by an audience of clapping customers, all of them having paused whatever they were doing or talking about to listen to me. Crap! I hadn’t even noticed how quiet it had gotten in here. I didn’t think I was playing that loudly!
Daring to glance over at the counter, I expect to see a furious Anna staring daggers at me. Only she’s not—she’s applauding with the rest of them!
I rub the back of my neck and throw the crowd a sheepish smile.
“Sorry about that, folks. You can enjoy your drinks without further interruption—”
“Encore!” someone calls.
“One more tune!” shouts another.
Mobile phones are taken out of pockets, cameras angled towards me. A table of young women giggle and blush when I smile at them. People on their way out the door with takeaway cups instead pull up a chair to listen.
Well, who am I to deny them a free concert? If a show is what they want, a show’s what they’ll get, even if it is just me and a toy keyboard—plus, I am technically getting paid to be here. Finally, a paying gig! I can’t wait to tell Rory.
Something small nudges my arm and I look down to see Ethan grinning at me.
“Knew you were a rock star, Feddie.”
And for the first time in forever, I actually feel like one.