Chapter 26 Shaun #2
I sit, scooting my chair back under the table. My calf comes into contact with Lara’s foot and I quickly jerk it away. Lara places her hands back in the same spot, palms open.
She lowers her voice to a whisper. “So why is Frankie here if he’s not on shift?”
“He’s just hanging out,” I say.
“On his day off?”
Why is she grilling me on this?
“Yeah. He wanted to get some stuff done. What’s wrong with that?”
Her smile broadens. “Oh nothing, I guess. But I checked him out on Instagram. I don’t know if you know this, but I think he might be gay.”
I blink at her. “Right. And that’s…?”
She sits up straight. “Oh! No, nothing wrong with that, obviously. Just… I dunno. I was thinking, maybe he has a little crush on you and that’s why he’s lurking around?”
Despite the sunshine radiating from her face, Lara’s choice of words bothers me. Lurking around?
“Perhaps I’ve just opened such a good café, even my own staff would rather be here than at home?” I say, trying to move things on.
Lara smiles at me like I’m a toddler who’s just handed her a potato painting.
“Sure, babe,” she leans forward and squeezes my forearm. “It’s definitely not because you’re such a cutie in that apron.”
I feel my cheeks and neck flush red. Hopefully my beard covers it. Why is she being so touchy?
“Lara, what’s going on?”
She clears her throat. “That photo, the one Viggo commented on. You didn’t delete it?”
“No,” I say, matter-of-factly.
Pulling her hand back to her ear, Lara twists her silver hoop piercing and flutters her eyelashes. “Do you miss me, Shauny?”
Flustered, I stare intently at the grooves in the wooden table. “What do you mean?”
“What I mean is, do you wanna get back together with me?” She claps her hands in front of her chest. “I know, shocker, but I’m single, you’re single, and we are a good fit, you know.”
My jaw plummets. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Lara wants to get back with me? That doesn’t make a lick of sense.
“But you broke up with me—”
“Shh,” she brings a finger to her lips. “I know, babe. That was a mistake.”
Heated words from our break-up come hurtling back to me.
“You said you didn’t think I was really autistic and that I just didn’t want to spend time with you.”
“Did I?” Lara shrugs. “Doesn’t sound like something I’d say.”
“Oh. Well, you did.”
She sighs. “If I did, I didn’t know what I was saying, okay?
It’s just you don’t look autistic so I might have found it a bit hard to believe at first. Did you know autism is really in right now?
Like, everyone is getting diagnosed these days!
People online actually find it really endearing, so I promise you I don’t mind. ”
A roaring starts in my ears. A shaking in my hands.
“You really hurt my feelings, Lara.”
“Aw, babe,” her eyes dart towards her phone, propped up against the saltshaker, “it’s okay. What I’m saying is I wanna be with you now, okay? Do you understand? Come on, I know you’ve missed me.” She leans in closer, giving me a full view down her top. “Just say yes, Shauny.”
Staggered by what’s happening, I shift in my seat, knocking the table leg as I do. Lara’s phone topples over and her hand snaps out to reposition it, but not before I see the camera app open on the screen.
“A-are you filming me?”
Lara flaps her hands impatiently. “Shh, I’m getting footage to announce us getting back together. Honestly, this sort of thing will blow up online. Maybe just try to smile? If you wanna cry too, that’ll work. Don’t worry, I’ll put music over the top of it so no one will know what we’re saying.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Her voice is caramel sweet, even if her words are as caustic as battery acid.
All those years I dated her, I never saw it.
Or maybe I didn’t want to see it. Because, for a long time, I didn’t think I’d ever find someone better.
Freddie’s words from Monday morning surface through the whirlpool of racing thoughts: 'She didn’t deserve you'. I don’t think I believed him then, not fully.
Not until right now.
I pull myself together and stand up. Planting my feet, I hold out an arm towards the door. “No, thank you, Lara. I think you should go.”
Lara doesn’t move.
“What?”
I shut my eyes, suddenly finding the glare from the windows overwhelmingly bright.
“I don’t want to get back together with you. I wish you all the best with your life, but I don’t want to see you anymore. Please leave.”
The scrape of a chair as Lara gets to her feet. “Wait, are you serious? You’re actually knocking me back? Me!”
“Yes.” The roar in my ears is getting unbearable. Thoughts collide like Formula One cars in my brain. “I’m knocking you back. I-I don’t want to be with you.”
My hands shake uncontrollably. I clench them tight, my nails digging into my palms. Lara touches me on the shoulder.
“Oh Shauny, honey, are you having one of your little freak outs?”
“No!” I yell, my eyes filling with tears. “You dumped me, Lara. I’ve moved on. I don’t want to get back together, and I don’t want to be your boyfriend, no matter how much your so-called fans miss me.”
I step back. Lara puts her hands on her hips.
“I know you miss me, Shaun. Why are you being like this—?”
“Hey!” A shout fills the room like a cannon blast. I’ve never heard Freddie raise his voice before, so it takes a second to register it was him. In a few long strides, he’s by my side, his hand a firm anchor on my shoulder. “If he wants you to leave, you should go.”
Lara sneers at Freddie like he’s a bug in her lip gloss. “Um, how about you mind your own business, Frankie?”
“Um,” he mimics her, “my name’s Freddie and how about you shut the fuck up and leave like he told you to.”
She scoffs, speechless for a moment, before rounding on me. “Are you going to let your staff speak to me like that?”
A lance of anger rips through me.
“He’s not just my staff! He’s my—” I catch the word before it falls out, but only just. With panicked eyes, I look to Freddie, then back to Lara, who folds her arms like a grumpy teenager.
“He’s your what?”
“I’m his boyfriend,” says Freddie.
I gasp, my head whipping round to look at him. Did he just say it? Did he just call me his—
“Boyfriend?” Lara cackles, an ugly sound that doesn’t suit her. Or maybe it does. “Shaun’s not gay! So don’t get your hopes up, ‘Freddie’ or whatever your name is.”
“I don’t need to,” says Freddie, calmly. Then he takes my hand, interlocking his fingers with mine. He gives it a reassuring squeeze, which I return. “See? Seems a bit gay, if you ask me.”
If looks could kill, we’d be vaporised. The whole café too. Lara’s practically foaming at the mouth.
“Are you trying to humiliate me, Shaun?” she wails. “Do you realise how embarrassing this is?”
Freddie sucks his teeth.
“Getting knocked back by your ex on camera? Pretty embarrassing, yeah.” Freddie looks at the camera lens on Lara’s phone, still propped up and recording. “Hey everyone, I’m Freddie, Shaun’s new boyfriend. ’Fraid he won’t be back on Lara’s feed any time soon.”
He blows a kiss to the phone as Lara snatches it up and stuffs it in her jacket.
“You’ve ruined everything!” she screams. “Fuck you, Shaun! Fuck your boyfriend and fuck your fucking café! Have fun making no money for the rest of your life! You’ll wish you were with me. You’ll fucking wish it!”
Lara draws herself up and, for a second, I think she might be about to slap me.
Even Freddie, my gallant knight, takes a half-step in front of me for protection.
Thinking better of it, Lara wheels around and bolts for the door, aiming a kick at a chair on the way.
It skids across the floor but somehow doesn’t topple over.
Lara lets out a screech and storms out of the café, her hair whipping around her face like wildfire as she disappears down the street and out of sight.
A few seconds pass in silence. Once it’s clear she’s not coming back, Freddie and I let out a long sigh.
“Holy shit,” he says, after a beat or two. “Sorry man, but she is completely mental. Did you two seriously used to date?”
“Yes,” I say, still regaining the power of speech. “For five years.”
“Man, that’s rough. I’m sorry for jumping in, I just couldn’t stand back and let her speak to you like that.”
“It’s okay,” I whisper.
Freddie lets go of my hand, and I immediately miss his grip. He rubs the back of his neck.
“And I’m sorry about the whole ‘boyfriend’ thing. And for outing you, I guess. I know we haven’t talked about it. I just didn’t think she’d be satisfied with ‘we’ve been on one date and sucked each other’s dicks a few times.’ ”
I run a hand through my hair and fall back into my seat. Freddie pulls up Lara’s vacant one and sits beside me while I massage my temples.
“She’s just so… shallow,” I say. “And mean.”
Freddie nods. “Yup.”
I bury my face in my hands and groan.
“How did I not see it? What kind of person behaves like that?”
“Someone who doesn’t deserve you.”
I let one hand drop and it finds Freddie’s thigh. He scoots his chair closer and rubs smooth circles on my back with his palm. My breathing slows. Finally, the words come.
“She told me all the time how stupid I was for wanting to open this place. It’s all I ever wanted to do, but she always said it wasn’t ambitious enough.
And I’d never make any money. And it would take over my whole life.
It was never ‘how can I help you, Shaun?’ It was never ‘I believe in you, Shaun.’ She didn’t want me to have my dream.
She was just using me to get hers. What should have been the best time of my life—getting this place ready to open—was just so shit because she made me think I’d failed before I even started. ”
“Oh, Shaun,” Freddie hangs his head for a moment. “I had no idea.”
My breath shudders.
“Then she dumped me the week before we opened. All I could think was if Lara, my girlfriend, didn’t believe in me, then why should I?
” I swallow the lump forming in my throat.
“I was so ready to give up. I wasn’t sleeping.
Staff quit with no notice. Honestly, I don’t know how much longer I could have kept going.
But then…” I look up and meet Freddie’s gaze. “Then you came along.”
Gently, I place a hand on the back of his neck and smile.
“You’ve given me more in a couple of weeks than she did in five years. Thank you, Freddie.”
I kiss him softly and he kisses me back. He tastes like peppermint and chocolate. Like sweet cinnamon. I don’t think I’ve ever tasted anything as wonderful as Freddie’s lips.
Remembering I’m at work, I force myself to cut the kiss short.
As we separate, the roar in my ears has all but disappeared.
I feel… fine? In Freddie’s aura, held by his comforting hands, I couldn’t feel unsafe even if I tried.
Anyone else and I’d be hiding in the bathroom by now. But not with him. Not with Freddie.
“Thank you for standing up for me,” I say. Then, blushing, I add, “Talk about a knight in shining armour.”
“You were doing just fine on your own, to be fair. But no one speaks to my boy like that.” My heart swells.
His boy? Freddie holds me with his sapphire gaze.
“Take a look at what you’ve done, Shaun.
You built this place from nothing and you’re nailing it!
In spite of everything, you have your dream!
And what has she got? A few thousand followers and the relationship equivalent of a smallpox outbreak?
No wonder she wants to cheat on that guy!
” He claps me gently on the back. “So, who’s winning? ”
I smile and shrug.
“Me, I guess. Oh, and they split up, actually.”
“Cry me a river,” says Freddie. “And, not to brag, but you know what else you’ve got, right?”
“What?” I ask, enchanted by his infectious smile.
Freddie leans forward until we’re nose-to-nose. “You’ve got me, and I’m not going anywhere.”
I grab him and kiss him again. Screw professionalism—I’m already past the point of no return, might as well embrace it. Opening my mouth, his tongue slips inside and dances with mine, sending a storm of butterflies through my body. By the time the kiss is over, I have my question ready:
“Freddie,” I cradle his hands in mine and take a deep breath, “will you go out with me? Properly, I mean.”
His face lights up like a Christmas tree. “You mean like a boyfriend?”
I feel myself blushing. “If you like.”
His smile goes wider than ever. “You bet I will.”
My heart flips so hard, I almost leap into the air myself. He said yes! Just like that, I have a boyfriend!
“I have a boyfriend!” I blurt out, throwing my hands up in celebration. Freddie chuckles as I realise I’m getting far too excited. Composing myself, I clear my throat and say the only other word that comes to mind: “Rad.”
Freddie raises an eyebrow. “Rad indeed!”
Grinning from ear-to-ear, I clasp my hands together in front of my sternum. “Just promise you won’t make us post a video announcing it to the world.”
He throws back his head and laughs.
“I wouldn’t dream of it. Although, you’ve just reminded me…” Freddie stands up, looking a little nervous all of a sudden as he slides his phone out of his pocket. “There’s something I need to show you.”