Chapter 29 Freddie #2
When we finally come up to breathe, all I can do is stare at Shaun.
His handsome face is prettier than any sunrise.
His body feels wonderful on mine and with all the warmth radiating between us, I wouldn’t be surprised if steam was billowing off my back.
I can’t get enough of him—his beauty, his warmth.
If I could, I’d stay like this, with him in a naked embrace, forever.
So why is a knot forming in my stomach?
“I meant every word, you know,” I say without planning to. When Shaun looks confused, I clarify: “What I said the other day after Rory left.”
Realisation dawns upon his face, which blossoms into a smile that would melt an iceberg. “I know. I believe you.”
The knot tightens. It feels just like the one that appeared when Rory told me about the burglary.
“You okay?” Shaun asks, gently rubbing my lower back.
“Yeah. I think so.” I tilt my head up to look at him. “Listen, I want to be yours, Shaun. I really, really do, but I have to check… I mean, I have to tell you…”
My heart’s skidding all over the place. I’m feeling so nervous all of a sudden. What the hell is going on? Freddie Young doesn’t get nervous!
“I want to be your boyfriend,” I continue, “but only if it isn't going to ruin your dream. I don’t want things to turn sour if we don’t work out—not that I think that’ll happen, but you never know, do you?
So, if you’d rather not risk it, if you think mixing business with pleasure isn’t a good idea, then I’ll understand and I’ll leave.
I’d rather have you than this job, even though I really like both.
I just don’t want you to compromise your dream for me—”
“Please don’t.” Shaun interrupts me, firmly.
“Freddie, you have nothing to worry about. You make this place so much better. You make me better. Don’t even think about leaving.
I’d never ask you to, not unless you wanted, and I wouldn’t stand in your way, but I want you to keep working here as long as you like. ”
His arm curls around me in a reassuring embrace. I sigh as the knot in my stomach loosens and evaporates.
“Really? Oh man, that’s a relief.” I try to backpedal. “Sorry, it’s just you’ve worked so hard on this place, so I didn’t want to—”
Shaun shushes me and interlocks his hands across my lower back. He pulls me in tighter and says in a soft voice: “I have two dreams now. Lucky for me, they’re both under the same roof.”
My heart skips as a strange feeling comes over me. Like I could walk through fire. Like I could fight off an army. Before I can stop them, my lips are moving. “Okay. Can I say something else then?”
“Of course.”
Shaun gives me a knowing look, but I see the nervousness behind his eyes, feel his heart slamming against his ribcage. I steel myself and whisper, “I think I’m falling for you, Shaun Harrison. I think I’m falling hard.”
He blinks. Once, twice, then he exhales slowly.
“Okay,” he says after the longest seconds of my life. “That’s good, then.” He plants a gentle kiss on my forehead. “Because I know I’m falling for you, Freddie Young.”
Smiling like a lunatic, I press my lips against his and, like warm caramel, we melt into the floor.
It’s gone midnight by the time I get home. To my surprise, Rory is still up, watching something on his phone.
“Hey,” I call, shutting the door behind me. “Did you wait up?”
Ignoring my question, Rory holds his phone aloft, pointing the screen towards me. “‘The singing barista’?”
Taking a few steps towards him, I see what he’s looking at: a post on the Cream I was irresponsible and even though I could see it was causing you stress, I didn’t change. I was a bit of a dick.”
Rory considers this for a moment, then drains the rest of his beer.
“Alright. Well as long as we both feel bad.” He crushes the can in his fist and tosses it on the table. “Let’s try to treat each other better, yeah? Maybe spend a bit more time together or something.”
I recall what Shaun said over dinner and an idea springs to mind—a wild, stupid idea that probably won’t work in a million years, but I’m still high from my amazing evening and right now, I feel fucking unstoppable.
“I agree,” I say, backing away from the sofa. “Be right back.”
Spurred on by strange forces, I march into the hall and reach up to grab the toggle for the attic door. Pulling it sharply down, the hatch opens and a metal ladder unfurls at my feet with a clunk.
“What are you doing?” Rory calls after me, but I’m already halfway up the ladder.
It’s dark up here, but I have just enough light to spot what I’m looking. Its silhouette is unmistakable in the gloom. I grab it and descend backwards down the ladder.
“Freddie, what are you—” I turn to find Rory standing at the end of the hall. When he sees what’s in my hands, his eyes grow to the size of saucers. He shakes his head. “Uh-uh. No way. Absolutely not.”
I approach him, holding the bongo drums aloft. “Yes way.”
“I don’t play anymore!”
“Doesn’t mean you can’t.” I sweep past him and place the bongos down on the coffee table before hurrying back to my room to grab my guitar. “Come on, it’ll be a laugh!”
When I return, Rory’s still frozen by the doorway, eyes darting between me and the dusty bongos on the table.
“I told you how playing makes me feel,” he says, though I can see the spark of interest in his eyes.
“So what, you’re never going to play again?” I lean my guitar against the back of the sofa and head to the sink to grab a damp cloth. “Come on, Rory. You used to love playing! The best memories I have are of the three of us playing together.”
Rory’s jaw visibly unclenches. “Really?”
“Are you kidding?” Cloth in hand, I return to the bongos and start wiping the dust off them. “You basically taught me how to play. Without you, I dunno what I’d be doing with myself. Probably something really boring and soul-destroying.”
Like working in a bank.
Rory clenches his fists as he wrestles with himself. I decide to go for broke. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want to.”
Rory’s head falls back and he lets out a deep sigh. “I guess. Maybe. A little bit.”
I tap a few triumphant beats on the drum skin with my fingertips. “Then let’s do it!”
After a few tense seconds, Rory’s shoulders slump and I know I’ve got him!
“Fine.”
I punch the air. “Yaaas!”
“Yaaas?”
“That’s gay for ‘yes’,” I explain.
“Right.” Rory trudges over to his armchair and picks up the bongos. “I’m very rusty.”
“That’s okay,” I say, standing up to unzip my guitar case. “We’ve got a week to practice.”
“A week? Till what?”
I waggle my eyebrows at him and realisation dawns. He baulks.
“You want me to perform with you?”
“Oh my gosh,” I act surprised, winding him up. “I thought you’d never ask!”
Rory slaps a hand to his forehead. “You’re out of your mind! I’ve never played in front of anyone before!”
Unfazed, I sling the guitar over my shoulder. “That’s precisely why we need to practice.”
Rory stares at the bongos like they’re a bomb about to go off.
“I can’t, Freddie—”
“Okay,” I interrupt, “none of this ‘I can’t’ nonsense.
You totally can. I get it’s scary, but I know there’s a part of you that wants to show off.
It was there when we were kids and while it’s been buried under all this grown-up stuff, it won’t have gone away completely.
” I strum a C chord on my guitar. “There’s nothing like it, Rory.
Playing for people who actually want to listen to you.
It’ll be nothing you can’t handle and we’ll do, what, six songs max?
Half an hour and it’ll be over and if you don’t have fun, I promise I’ll never make you do it again. ”
Letting those words settle, I see he's still on the fence. Swallowing my pride, I resort to fighting dirty. “I want to do this with you, Rory. It would mean the world to me.”
He rolls his eyes. “Well don’t say that! Now I’ll feel like a dick for saying no.”
"Exactly." I grin at him. “So say yes!”
He’s grinding his teeth so hard, they’ll surely turn to powder. Come on, Rory, I scream internally. Just say yes!
Rory sucks his teeth. “I’ll say maybe.” My face erupts with glee, but Rory’s is stoic as ever. “But if I did say yes, please can we just play covers or something? None of the old songs. Nothing that reminds me of Mum.”
“No problem, brother dear,” I plop down on the sofa and start tuning the guitar. “Actually, I’ve been thinking of writing something new.”