Creatures Like Us (Unforgivable Needs #3)

1. Chapter 1

Asher

The evening passes me by in a blur. Hell, life passes me by in a blur. I know nothing about nothing, and that’s exactly how I like it.

“You all right, babe?” Lilith leans in and kisses my cheek, and I accept the shot of nondescript liquor in her hand.

She’s gone all out this New Year’s: ripped stockings, killer makeup, and a tiny black dress with a leather harness framing her tits.

As if that wasn’t enough, her massive platform boots make her appear way taller than she really is.

“Banging party, am I right?” Joshua chimes in from behind us.

“Would be better with some drugs,” Lilith drawls, evoking a smatter of laughter from the party crowd. She’s hot, but she can be a bit of a bitch at times. I still love her though; she’s my bitch, and together, we’ve had a shit ton of fun these past few months.

“Weren’t you supposed to lay off that shit?” Joshua asks.

“We are,” says Lilith. “But come on, it’s New Year’s! A little bit won’t hurt.”

She’s right; a little bit won’t hurt. We vowed to stop after New Year’s—resolutions and shit—but it’s not even twelve yet, so it doesn’t count. We’re fine. Totally.

Flashing a boyish grin, I hold out a hand with a shiny fifty-dollar bill—courtesy of my parents’ deep pockets. Joshua sends a glance to the kitchen, where that huge, tatted bouncer guy is eyeing us suspiciously. Shit.

He’s got his tiny little boyfriend with him—what was his name again?

Some kind of bird. Can’t remember. Anyway, I know that bouncer doesn’t like us doing drugs, even if the whole function of the biker gang he’s part of is supplying said drugs.

Makes zero fucking sense. I want to tell him these exact words, but I’m not buzzed enough to dare.

Once I’m high, maybe—not merely drunk. When I’m high, I don’t care about anything.

“Maybe later,” Joshua says.

Lilith makes a frustrated noise, and the worn wooden floor dips ominously as she jumps up and down on her platform heels. “Come on, babe!” She grabs hold of my hand and hauls me closer. I stumble into her, unsteady from all the shots I’ve had.

Next thing I know, we’re doing whippets in the upstairs hallway. I throw my head back, grinning breathlessly as the world swims before my eyes.

“One more?” Lilith asks, filling up another balloon.

I smile and nod. I always want one more.

Lilith remains by my side. Even when I’m going to the toilet, she ensures I make it back. Is she worried I’ll find some girl in the hallway to cheat on her with, or what? A ridiculous thought, but one I wouldn’t put past her.

I don’t know how many times I’ve reassured her that the girl who kissed me at a party a few weeks ago basically forced herself on me when I was way too high to realize what was going on. It only lasted a couple of seconds, anyway, before I caught my bearings and shoved her away.

It meant nothing—not to me, not to her, and it shouldn’t mean anything to Lilith either.

“It’s almost time!” someone shouts. “Everyone, get outside.”

We stumble out the door and into the freezing cold for the midnight celebration. Compared to the heat inside the house, the cold hits me full on, making my teeth clatter. Shuddering, I wrap my jacket tighter around myself.

“Ten?…?nine?…?eight?…?seven?…?six?…?five?…?four?…?three?…?two?…?one! Happy New Year!”

The sky explodes with fireworks, and my vision swims as I try to take it all in. I smile along with the others, laugh along with the others, but I feel nothing.

I slide my hand into the chest pocket of my jacket, palming the syringe there.

That scary bouncer didn’t think to pat me down, luckily enough.

Don’t bring anything that can hurt , he said when he vetted us by the door, and a syringe can do quite a lot of damage.

Not to mention if you load it up with a special little substance.

It can kill, but it can make you feel amazing too.

“Want a hit, babe?” Lilith asks. She’s snatched a joint from someone. I receive it and take a drag.

I don’t discriminate—a high is a high, after all, but there’s one high I want most. If my count is correct and my memory intact, my last hit was almost twelve hours ago; I’m well overdue for another.

The shakes are already coming on. Crawling all over my skin, the anxiety following suit.

In a couple of hours, I’ll start sweating, and as far as I know, Lilith will too.

I told myself I’d quit, but hell, it’s New Year’s Eve, and it’s a party, and I just want to feel good tonight. I need it.

As if she read my thoughts, Lilith grabs my arm and whispers in my ear, “Got any stuff, babe?”

“No, but I can get some.”

She grins, and I grin back, and we lean in to kiss each other.

Even through my muddled state, I can tell something is feeling off about her tonight.

Maybe she’s not high or drunk enough. Yeah, that might be it.

I, of all people, know I’m not the same person when I’m sober, and in the couple of months Lilith and I have dated, only a handful of days have been spent without some kind of substance in our systems. The past month, none at all that I can remember.

I’m rarely sober these days, I guess. Neither is she. Hey, I never said I was trying to win relationship of the fucking year, okay? We’re young, and we’re just having a bit of fun. We’re in love too, or at least I think so. At least, I hope so.

On the way back into the house, anxiety ties a knot in my gut. I need something to unravel it. With the bouncer outside and Joshua in the back room, I get what I want easily enough, and Lilith and I head toward the upstairs bathroom.

When I first got started with this shit, the cravings weren’t that bad. Now they’re nearly constant. I’ve stopped worrying about them, though, just like I’ve stopped worrying about school, my parents, my brother. My brother?…

“Hey!” Lilith bangs on the door to the occupied bathroom. “Take a dump somewhere else!”

She’s right; our situation is urgent. As soon as the craving hits, it’s like something else takes me over—a force beyond my control. And nothing can ever be good again, nothing can ever feel right again, unless I obey that force.

The door opens, and Lilith pulls me into the bathroom, grinning widely as I wiggle the plastic bag in front of her eyes. The snow our shoes dragged from the yard is melting into a watery sludge, splashing around our feet.

“Hurry,” she whispers.

I flip the toilet seat and sit down to go through the ritual of dissolving the powder with water in the spoon before I roll up the sleeve of my red-and-black striped sweater. Fuck yeah. My whole body is sizzling, the anticipation almost a high in itself.

I sink the tip of the needle into the contents of the spoon.

Filtered by a piece of cotton, the liquid rushes into the barrel when I pull the plunger.

I tap out the air bubbles, and—assisted by the tourniquet around my arm—I find a suitable vein and sink the tip in.

As soon as I’ve hit home, I untie the tourniquet, push the plunger, and watch the contents rush inside.

Within seconds, my whole body goes heavy and dazed, a pleasant warmth spreading throughout my limbs.

Lilith snatches the syringe from my hand. “My turn, babe.”

“Mm, okay.” My voice floats away along with my consciousness, and my blond locks bounce as I flip my head back, limbs going heavy, legs spreading wide.

Bliss.

Through my heavy-lidded eyes, I see Lilith watch herself in the mirror as she injects the crook of her arm in the same spot I injected mine. Guilt is kind of impossible in this state, but if I were sober, I’d think about how I’m the one who got her into this.

It’s already started to affect her.

Where her cheeks used to be plump and her ass beautiful and curvy, she now looks?…

shrunken in. Her skin’s going dull, losing its luster.

I’d just started with this shit when we met, and I thought I could control my use of it.

After all, my friends in my dorm could control it; why wouldn’t I be able to?

They started by snorting oxy pills, and I tried those too, but soon they were no longer enough for me.

I felt nothing, and I needed more. I was the only one in our friend group who tried shooting up.

Best mistake of my life.

I grin where I sit, lost in the high, and Lilith leans toward me, kissing me deeply. She slips her tongue into my mouth, giggling all the while.

After breaking the kiss with a sloppy smack, she says, “Let’s go back out there.”

I’m not sure I can act sober enough in this state. Is that blood on my clothes? Oh fuck?…?I stumble to a stop and wipe at my sweater, but it’s just a bit of wetness from some spilled beer.

Lilith chuckles. “You’re all right, babe. Let’s just go to the couch.”

Downstairs, we pick one of the couches in the corner, and time slips from my mind. Music is playing, and people are talking, but I’m somewhere else. I’m with my big brother, playing baseball in our backyard, laughing, making jokes, and I’m happy, so happy?…

Ash.

He’s laughing, or no?…?he’s screaming.

Ash!

My head hangs heavy on my neck as I turn in slow motion. I try to pry my eyes open, but my lids are too heavy.

“Hi, there,” says a voice I vaguely recognize. “Long time no see.”

The room trickles back to me in parts. Lilith is off somewhere, bathroom maybe, and by my side is the girl who kissed me at that party a few weeks ago. What was her name again? Something with a K .

“I’m Kayla,” she says, as if reading my thoughts.

My mouth turns up at the corners. “Hi, Kayla.” I have less than perfect control of my bodily movements, and even less of my facial muscles. I’m floating, and I feel good, and that’s all that matters for now.

“Are you having fun?” she asks, looking me up and down with a smile.

“Uh, sure.”

She reaches out and ruffles my messy blond locks. “I love your hair.”

“Oh. Thanks.” I keep smiling at her. Don’t really know what else to do. Don’t really know anything at the moment.